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Give "Bad" Advice (3)

Discussion in 'Recreation Room' started by Matthew-59, Sep 22, 2014.

  1. DreadCthulhu

    DreadCthulhu Member

    115
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    Sell your house, that should probably recoup the costs.

    What is the best way to avoid paying for an airplane ticket?
     
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  2. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

    +8,001
    United Kingdom
    Christian
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    A
    Livestream yourself eating accountants' liver on facebook

    Find a good source for accountants' livers, you could branch out into IRS officials too.

    Start selling them over Ebay, Craigslist, Amazon etc.
     
  3. DreadCthulhu

    DreadCthulhu Member

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    You've ruined the thread by not asking a question. Who will I give bad advice to now?
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2018
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  4. LaSorcia

    LaSorcia Well-Known Member Supporter

    +35,574
    United States
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    Look to see what members are online and just PM them some random, useful advice. You might make a friend!

    Someone wants to feed me a cheeseburger and beer during Lent.
     
  5. DreadCthulhu

    DreadCthulhu Member

    115
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    Friends are overrated, Sun bro's are where it's at.
     
  6. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

    +8,001
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    Tell them you have given up that stuff and demand accountant's liver!

    How to learn to remember and follow rules?
     
  7. DreadCthulhu

    DreadCthulhu Member

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    I would say carve it into the skin of your left hand, but that is probably a bad idea
     
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  8. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

    +8,001
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    How to politely tell Dreadcthulhu about the speck in his eye? :p
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2018
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  9. DreadCthulhu

    DreadCthulhu Member

    115
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    *DreadCthulhu
    I would say take him to a nice, fancy restaurant, pay for a magnificent 5 course meal made by Gordon Ramsay, then break the news to him quickly while he is taking a drink so that he is so surprised he dies. Now you can escape in the confusion without having to pay!

    How to uninstall system 32?
     
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  10. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

    +8,001
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    Don't bother... just clean the hard drive in a bath with lots of bubbles. Wiping it with a nice foamy sponge

    How to fix eyestrain?
     
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  11. DreadCthulhu

    DreadCthulhu Member

    115
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    Never open your eyes.

    How to create a loving relationship with your daughter?
     
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  12. DavidFirth

    DavidFirth Saved by the blood of the Lamb Supporter

    +18,249
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    Let her date anybody she wants and do whatever she wants

    How to spend a rainy day?
     
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  13. DreadCthulhu

    DreadCthulhu Member

    115
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    Burying the bodies, there are less people out and about when it is raining. Make sure that you bury them deep though or else the rain might wash off the topsoil, exposing the bodies.

    Best pick up line?
     
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  14. DavidFirth

    DavidFirth Saved by the blood of the Lamb Supporter

    +18,249
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    Hey, baby, I'm a millionaire, want a ride in my Mazerati?

    How to make a girl fall madly in love with you?
     
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  15. LaSorcia

    LaSorcia Well-Known Member Supporter

    +35,574
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    Well, if you push her down the stairs, that takes care of the 'fall madly' part. I'm not sure what to do about the love part though.

    I feel so encumbered.
     
  16. Tom 1

    Tom 1 Optimistic sceptic Supporter

    +12,446
    Romania
    Christian
    Married
    You make have taken the phrase ‘pack up your troubles in your old kit bag’ too literally. Check in an mirror to see if you are carrying a WWI era military backpack filled with rocks.

    Need advice on achieving the ideal sitting position for reading
     
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  17. Quid est Veritas?

    Quid est Veritas? In Memoriam to CS Lewis

    +9,214
    Protestant
    Married
    I find maintaining an awkward squat with one leg raised to be ideal. Only when the body is stressed can the mind truly relax.

    I need to teach my toddler self-defence.
     
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  18. Tom 1

    Tom 1 Optimistic sceptic Supporter

    +12,446
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    Ah yes the self-defending toddler conundrum. What experts in the field suggest is to arm the child with a wooden spoon. Whenever the offending parent (you) suggests any course of action the toddler deems to be unwise, such as ‘eat this’ ‘don’t touch that’ etc, he or she should be encouraged to beat the adult with the spoon, while shouting ‘daddy wrong’ or some other suitable phrase, depending on the situation.

    How to establish a more stable hierarchy among sheep dogs?
     
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  19. Quid est Veritas?

    Quid est Veritas? In Memoriam to CS Lewis

    +9,214
    Protestant
    Married
    Encourage them to adopt Communist dialectic. In this way they will believe they are all working towards equality, while forming a fixed Authoritarian hierarchy.

    I need to sell some land really fast, before the government redistributes it.
     
  20. Tom 1

    Tom 1 Optimistic sceptic Supporter

    +12,446
    Romania
    Christian
    Married
    When you post your ad, put some of those smiley type overlays or rabbit faces etc like on FB over the photos of the land. They seem to have some kind of affect on people's cognitive abilities. I sold a rusty hacksaw for £1,000,000 by using this tactic.

    I need some advice on creating a black hole in my garage, for time manipulation purposes
     
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