Give "Bad" Advice (3)

DreadCthulhu

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Why even cook it? Hang it for a week or two and even have it oak smoked.

How to purchase two tumbledryers cost effectively?
Sell your house, that should probably recoup the costs.

What is the best way to avoid paying for an airplane ticket?
 
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Sam91

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Stick it on a rocket ship so perfectly aimed that it slingshots around the sun, heads back to earth, and hope it survives reentry.

How to become famous in 3 easy steps?
Livestream yourself eating accountants' liver on facebook

Find a good source for accountants' livers, you could branch out into IRS officials too.

Start selling them over Ebay, Craigslist, Amazon etc.
 
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DreadCthulhu

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Livestream yourself eating accountants' liver on facebook

Find a good source for accountants' livers, you could branch out into IRS officials too.

Start selling them over Ebay, Craigslist, Amazon etc.
You've ruined the thread by not asking a question. Who will I give bad advice to now?
 
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DreadCthulhu

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Look to see what members are online and just PM them some random, useful advice. You might make a friend!

Someone wants to feed me a cheeseburger and beer during Lent.
Friends are overrated, Sun bro's are where it's at.
 
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DreadCthulhu

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Tell them you have given up that stuff and demand accountant's liver!

How to learn to remember and follow rules?
I would say carve it into the skin of your left hand, but that is probably a bad idea
 
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Sam91

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I would say carve it into the skin of your left hand, but that is probably a bad idea
How to politely tell Dreadcthulhu about the speck in his eye? :p
 
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DreadCthulhu

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How to politely tell Dreadcthulhu about the speck in his eye?
*DreadCthulhu
I would say take him to a nice, fancy restaurant, pay for a magnificent 5 course meal made by Gordon Ramsay, then break the news to him quickly while he is taking a drink so that he is so surprised he dies. Now you can escape in the confusion without having to pay!

How to uninstall system 32?
 
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Sam91

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*DreadCthulhu
I would say take him to a nice, fancy restaurant, pay for a magnificent 5 course meal made by Gordon Ramsay, then break the news to him quickly while he is taking a drink so that he is so surprised he dies. Now you can escape in the confusion without having to pay!

How to uninstall system 32?
Don't bother... just clean the hard drive in a bath with lots of bubbles. Wiping it with a nice foamy sponge

How to fix eyestrain?
 
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DreadCthulhu

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Don't bother... just clean the hard drive in a bath with lots of bubbles. Wiping it with a nice foamy sponge

How to fix eyestrain?
Never open your eyes.

How to create a loving relationship with your daughter?
 
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DreadCthulhu

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Let her date anybody she wants and do whatever she wants

How to spend a rainy day?
Burying the bodies, there are less people out and about when it is raining. Make sure that you bury them deep though or else the rain might wash off the topsoil, exposing the bodies.

Best pick up line?
 
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Tom 1

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You make have taken the phrase ‘pack up your troubles in your old kit bag’ too literally. Check in an mirror to see if you are carrying a WWI era military backpack filled with rocks.

Need advice on achieving the ideal sitting position for reading
 
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Tom 1

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Ah yes the self-defending toddler conundrum. What experts in the field suggest is to arm the child with a wooden spoon. Whenever the offending parent (you) suggests any course of action the toddler deems to be unwise, such as ‘eat this’ ‘don’t touch that’ etc, he or she should be encouraged to beat the adult with the spoon, while shouting ‘daddy wrong’ or some other suitable phrase, depending on the situation.

How to establish a more stable hierarchy among sheep dogs?
 
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Quid est Veritas?

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Encourage them to adopt Communist dialectic. In this way they will believe they are all working towards equality, while forming a fixed Authoritarian hierarchy.

I need to sell some land really fast, before the government redistributes it.
 
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Tom 1

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When you post your ad, put some of those smiley type overlays or rabbit faces etc like on FB over the photos of the land. They seem to have some kind of affect on people's cognitive abilities. I sold a rusty hacksaw for £1,000,000 by using this tactic.

I need some advice on creating a black hole in my garage, for time manipulation purposes
 
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