Give "Bad" Advice (3)

[Dirk1540]

To appear witty on the thread put me on your Follow list, look at all of the posts that I make and notice what I do...and then do the complete opposite.

How can we find out if shady disappearing MrNoodle wasn’t actually a Russian spy this whole time?

 

[gennypearl]

you hack his account, get his skype information so you can listen to his russian accent.

how can i look at all of dirk's posts when i can't even view his profile?

 

[Dirk1540]

You just forget that this conversation ever happened before you get hurt, you realize that Dirk tried to accuse MrNoodle of being a Russian spy to divert attention away from himself.

How can I infiltrate the Philippines government...just a hypothetical question...hypothetically let’s just say if I were a Russian spy?

 

[gennypearl]

by hacking all of the government's website and controlling all the minds of the government officials by means of a chip injected to their brain.

should i keep talking to a russian spy?

 

[Dirk1540]

You say that as if you have a choice, you’re too deeply involved now, so yes you WILL keep talking to him.

I got a D- in Russian spy school. Should I not tell people that? Does it make ‘Russian Spy’ sound less intimidating?

 

[gennypearl]

you can tell them that but say that D is the highest grade and A is the lowest.

should i use telepathy on this one guy who claims to be superior?

 

[Dirk1540]

What so you can control the Russian spy who got a D-, can barely do 8 push-ups, and hasn’t been called by the Russian government to do a job in over 5 years? That’s pretty much a waste of telepathy powers

How can I stop myself from accidentally hitting the Post button too soon by mistake?

 

[gennypearl]

close your eyes and just click click click.

how can i get a russian spy to exercise?

 

[Dirk1540]

You can become a Russian spy superior and then you can just order him to do it.

How does a person decide if The Excuse Game or Give Bad Advice game is more fun?

 

[gennypearl]

if your face is impossible to paint in answering that thread, then that is more fun.

how did you balance your time between work and cf threads?

 

[Dirk1540]

My favorite technique is to act like I don’t hear the boss talking to me, usually after 19 attempts to repeat himself he just walks away.

How can I get my credit card credit limit increased from $1,000 to $500,000?

 

[gennypearl]

just keep on swiping without paying. they must think you really need that money because you keep on using the card.

should i get a credit card? i don't have one (seriously).

 

[Dirk1540]

Yes. The #1 financial mistake that people make today is having too little debt. I swear I don’t know how these people dress themselves in the morning.

Should I even watch the news or is it all just a bunch of twisted half truths?

 

[gennypearl]

watch it anyway, but only half of the truth.

should i clap loudly here in the office while watching the game?

 

[Dirk1540]

You act like the biggest Cavs fan on Earth and you just clap? I would get in the boss’ face whenever LeBron scores screaming “Did you see that!!???” “Who’s the Man!!???”

Ok I seriously need food I’m starving, what should I eat?

 

[gennypearl]

don't you know that a lot of people in the word are hungry? can't you side with how they're feeling for once? don't eat man.

now that the game is over, should i calm down now?

 

[Dirk1540]

No. You are a high strung mess 24/7 why change now, why not ask me if I should stop breathing while you’re at it?

Should I trade my car in for something bigger?

 

[gennypearl]

yes, trade it for a dump truck. that is bigger.

should i eat lunch exactly at 12 noon or just forego it?

 

[Dirk1540]

Forego it. Actually they say that a 1 day fast is really healthy for your system. A 3 day fast is even better. Obviously we have a pattern here, do a 365 day fast, imagine how healthy that would be!!

I have to go pick up food now, should I drive (it’s 25 degrees)?

 

[gennypearl]

no, the best time to drive is at -25C

should i take a nap until 1 pm? it's still our lunch break anyhow.