I know submission has been discussed a lot lately. You might think it is an over-discussed topic, but apparently you found it interesting enough to open up this thread.
Let's take a look at one of the key passages on the subject.
Ephesians 5
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
There are some wives who say, "I don't submit to my husband. We are in mutual submission." Is it appropriate for a believing woman to take this stance? Is this obedience to Christ? Does being in mutual submission preclude being in mutual submission?
I would like to consider here, two views of what 'submitting yourselves to one another' means.
Only Submitting to Authorities
One leader at a church I attended once took this passage to mean that we submit to whoever among 'one another' that has authority over us, whether submission to the elders of the church, wives submitting to husbands, submitting to masters, bosses, etc. He said everyone had someone to submit to.
I don't take this view. Not everyone would have someone to submit to under this scenario among those reading the letter, since many would be submitting to masters outside of the church.
Specific Verses General Submission
Consider this verse.
I Peter 5
5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
Peter had addressed the elders who were responsible for pastoring the church. here we see that while the younger were to submit to the elders, all were to submit one to another. There is a specific need for the younger to submit to the elder (the implication is that the elders of the church were older). But in a general sense, all believers are to be subject to one another.
So while the slave was to submit to his master, if they were both believers, they were to submit to one another. God might minister a prophetic word through a slave to a slaveowner that the slaveowner might have to submit to. A younger man might teach the word and an older man would need to hear and submit to it. And we should all be submissive in yeilding to others in meeting their needs.
Most people I've met who know the Bible who believe in male headship believe in mutual submission. I saw where one person wrote to another, "You don't believe in mutual submission" for believing in male headship. But that isn't an accurate assumption. Yes, there is mutual submission-- which applies to all believers. In this sense, the husband is to be in mutual submission to other believers including his wife. But specifically, wives are to submit to husbands.
Clearly, by telling his readers to be in submission to one another, Paul wasn't trying to negate the rest of the passage.
Wives Submitting to Husbands
Verse 22 tells wives to "submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord". When a Christian wife submits herself to her husband for the right reasons, she isn't doing it for him, at least not just for him. Her concern is to please the Lord.
Characteristics of Wifely Submission
I Peter 2 talks about submission. It talks about submitting to governments. Then Peter writes about slaves submitting to masters, even harsh masters. It is clear here, that submission means submission, not something else. The passage continues.
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
This is another key passage on the wife submitting to her husband. An unbelieving man could potentially be won to Christ by a submissive wife.
What does submission look like? Ephesians 5 says for wives to submit to their husbands in everything. I Peter gives us a few hints about what a submissive wife looks like. She has the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. Let's think about the wife that is the opposite of meek and quiet. Hmmm. Loud and proud.
A wife who has a problem with submission may be the type to speak when she should be quiet, or to speak loudly when she should offer a soft word. The husband has bad news, like he got into an accident or wrecked the car, or he forgot to send in a payment. He dreads telling his wife because she is going to 'chew him out', with a barrage of critical verbage. She wouldn't talk to her boss like that. A master wouldn't talk to a slave like that. Children shouldn't talk to their parents (even if both are adults) like that. And she wouldn't talk to Jesus like that, but she talks to her husband like that.
The submissive Christian wife married to a loving husband does not bury all of her thoughts. If she has a problem, she can talk about it. But she speaks in a respectful manner. She doesn't chew her husband out. She doesn't get angry over small things, like his doing the dishes a little differently, and talk down to him like she is the boss. She respects his position as head. If she sees some area in his life she points it out with meekness, a way which is so much easier to recieve.
Men can be quarrelsome at times. But it is interesting to note that Proverbs warns of the quarrelsome wife. But I don't recall any verses about a quarrelsome husband.
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
Proverbs 21:19
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. (NIV)
Proverbs 27:15
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;
We probably can all think of a quarrelsome woman. You see her poor husband listening to her shrill voice. Men think "I am glad I am not married to her." There are milder versions of the quarrelsome woman, and any woman can be tempted to treat her husband this way.
In many cases, the power to start or stop quarreling in a marriage lies with the wife. The idea of a man yelling at his wife for no good reason (e.g. about to get hit by the bus) does not seem consistent to me with the love of Christ. The idea of a woman yelling at her husband, whom she is to submit to as unto the Lord, certainly runs contrary to the teaching of the Bible.
Quarrelling between husband and wife would simply vanish in a number of marriages if wives obeyed the simple principles of submitting to and respecting their husbands. If a woman respects her husband as the leader, she doesn't yell at him or speak to him in a disrespectful manner. She addresses him as the leader in the home, not as someone beneath her, not as she speaks to her children. Even if she is married to a loud man who yells at her, if she responds with a soft answer, many men will quickly calm down and be quiet. If she is married to a mild mannered man, but taking a submissive respectful attitude when she speaks, quarreling can virtually cease from the marriage. Of course, if a woman fails in this area, a Christ-like husband would forgive her. But as a leader in the home and as a brother in Christ, he should hold he accountable.
It is funny how a woman could hear preaching on slaves submitting to masters applied to the employee boss relationship, and have no problem submitting to her boss, but when it comes to submitting to her husband, some women have a problem. She wouldn't go into her boss's office and tell him off, wagging her finger in his face and saying, "If you hadn't decided to launch that new product three months ago, our bonuses would have all been a lot better." But she might do something similar to her husband. If her boss made a decision for the office that wasn't her first choice, she would accept it. But if she discusses a decision with her husband, she might not accept it when he makes a decision. She tells her husband she wants him to be a leader, but when he does, she doesn't follow.
Peter wanted women to have a meek and Meekness is a good, godly quality. It takes an internal strength to be meek and quiet when one should. So often, the human ego wants to puff itself up. And it is easy to run our mouths without thinking. The woman of God who submits to her husband knows that she needs to watch what she says. Since she submits as unto the Lord, the respect she shows her husband is done in reverence to Christ.
Obedience
Peter writes of holy women of old that they were "submissive to their own husbands" 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
This is an interesting passage. First, we need to notice that the submission of wives to husbands is reflected in obedience to the husband. The Greek word translated 'obeyed' here is also used in relation to children and their parents.
When did Sarah obey Abraham? Sarah obeyed Abraham when he told her to call her his sister, obeying even to the point of going into the housees of kings who would have her as wife. (A strange example for us Christian folks.) So apparently Sarah did obey her husband. Sarah also called Abraham 'lord' when she heard that she would give birth to Isaac. This showed the extent of her obedience to Abraham, and Peter uses it as an example.
Of course, obedience is to be obedience 'in the Lord.' There can be ethical dilemmas where obeying one commandment contradicts another. The apostles had to keep on preaching Christ when the authorities told them not to because they decided to obey God rather than men. But a submissive heart doesn't go looking for any little excuse to not obey. Obedience to governmental authorities and husband headship is to be done as unto the Lord.
Let's take a look at one of the key passages on the subject.
Ephesians 5
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
There are some wives who say, "I don't submit to my husband. We are in mutual submission." Is it appropriate for a believing woman to take this stance? Is this obedience to Christ? Does being in mutual submission preclude being in mutual submission?
I would like to consider here, two views of what 'submitting yourselves to one another' means.
Only Submitting to Authorities
One leader at a church I attended once took this passage to mean that we submit to whoever among 'one another' that has authority over us, whether submission to the elders of the church, wives submitting to husbands, submitting to masters, bosses, etc. He said everyone had someone to submit to.
I don't take this view. Not everyone would have someone to submit to under this scenario among those reading the letter, since many would be submitting to masters outside of the church.
Specific Verses General Submission
Consider this verse.
I Peter 5
5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
Peter had addressed the elders who were responsible for pastoring the church. here we see that while the younger were to submit to the elders, all were to submit one to another. There is a specific need for the younger to submit to the elder (the implication is that the elders of the church were older). But in a general sense, all believers are to be subject to one another.
So while the slave was to submit to his master, if they were both believers, they were to submit to one another. God might minister a prophetic word through a slave to a slaveowner that the slaveowner might have to submit to. A younger man might teach the word and an older man would need to hear and submit to it. And we should all be submissive in yeilding to others in meeting their needs.
Most people I've met who know the Bible who believe in male headship believe in mutual submission. I saw where one person wrote to another, "You don't believe in mutual submission" for believing in male headship. But that isn't an accurate assumption. Yes, there is mutual submission-- which applies to all believers. In this sense, the husband is to be in mutual submission to other believers including his wife. But specifically, wives are to submit to husbands.
Clearly, by telling his readers to be in submission to one another, Paul wasn't trying to negate the rest of the passage.
Wives Submitting to Husbands
Verse 22 tells wives to "submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord". When a Christian wife submits herself to her husband for the right reasons, she isn't doing it for him, at least not just for him. Her concern is to please the Lord.
Characteristics of Wifely Submission
I Peter 2 talks about submission. It talks about submitting to governments. Then Peter writes about slaves submitting to masters, even harsh masters. It is clear here, that submission means submission, not something else. The passage continues.
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
This is another key passage on the wife submitting to her husband. An unbelieving man could potentially be won to Christ by a submissive wife.
What does submission look like? Ephesians 5 says for wives to submit to their husbands in everything. I Peter gives us a few hints about what a submissive wife looks like. She has the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. Let's think about the wife that is the opposite of meek and quiet. Hmmm. Loud and proud.
A wife who has a problem with submission may be the type to speak when she should be quiet, or to speak loudly when she should offer a soft word. The husband has bad news, like he got into an accident or wrecked the car, or he forgot to send in a payment. He dreads telling his wife because she is going to 'chew him out', with a barrage of critical verbage. She wouldn't talk to her boss like that. A master wouldn't talk to a slave like that. Children shouldn't talk to their parents (even if both are adults) like that. And she wouldn't talk to Jesus like that, but she talks to her husband like that.
The submissive Christian wife married to a loving husband does not bury all of her thoughts. If she has a problem, she can talk about it. But she speaks in a respectful manner. She doesn't chew her husband out. She doesn't get angry over small things, like his doing the dishes a little differently, and talk down to him like she is the boss. She respects his position as head. If she sees some area in his life she points it out with meekness, a way which is so much easier to recieve.
Men can be quarrelsome at times. But it is interesting to note that Proverbs warns of the quarrelsome wife. But I don't recall any verses about a quarrelsome husband.
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
Proverbs 21:19
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. (NIV)
Proverbs 27:15
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;
We probably can all think of a quarrelsome woman. You see her poor husband listening to her shrill voice. Men think "I am glad I am not married to her." There are milder versions of the quarrelsome woman, and any woman can be tempted to treat her husband this way.
In many cases, the power to start or stop quarreling in a marriage lies with the wife. The idea of a man yelling at his wife for no good reason (e.g. about to get hit by the bus) does not seem consistent to me with the love of Christ. The idea of a woman yelling at her husband, whom she is to submit to as unto the Lord, certainly runs contrary to the teaching of the Bible.
Quarrelling between husband and wife would simply vanish in a number of marriages if wives obeyed the simple principles of submitting to and respecting their husbands. If a woman respects her husband as the leader, she doesn't yell at him or speak to him in a disrespectful manner. She addresses him as the leader in the home, not as someone beneath her, not as she speaks to her children. Even if she is married to a loud man who yells at her, if she responds with a soft answer, many men will quickly calm down and be quiet. If she is married to a mild mannered man, but taking a submissive respectful attitude when she speaks, quarreling can virtually cease from the marriage. Of course, if a woman fails in this area, a Christ-like husband would forgive her. But as a leader in the home and as a brother in Christ, he should hold he accountable.
It is funny how a woman could hear preaching on slaves submitting to masters applied to the employee boss relationship, and have no problem submitting to her boss, but when it comes to submitting to her husband, some women have a problem. She wouldn't go into her boss's office and tell him off, wagging her finger in his face and saying, "If you hadn't decided to launch that new product three months ago, our bonuses would have all been a lot better." But she might do something similar to her husband. If her boss made a decision for the office that wasn't her first choice, she would accept it. But if she discusses a decision with her husband, she might not accept it when he makes a decision. She tells her husband she wants him to be a leader, but when he does, she doesn't follow.
Peter wanted women to have a meek and Meekness is a good, godly quality. It takes an internal strength to be meek and quiet when one should. So often, the human ego wants to puff itself up. And it is easy to run our mouths without thinking. The woman of God who submits to her husband knows that she needs to watch what she says. Since she submits as unto the Lord, the respect she shows her husband is done in reverence to Christ.
Obedience
Peter writes of holy women of old that they were "submissive to their own husbands" 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear."
This is an interesting passage. First, we need to notice that the submission of wives to husbands is reflected in obedience to the husband. The Greek word translated 'obeyed' here is also used in relation to children and their parents.
When did Sarah obey Abraham? Sarah obeyed Abraham when he told her to call her his sister, obeying even to the point of going into the housees of kings who would have her as wife. (A strange example for us Christian folks.) So apparently Sarah did obey her husband. Sarah also called Abraham 'lord' when she heard that she would give birth to Isaac. This showed the extent of her obedience to Abraham, and Peter uses it as an example.
Of course, obedience is to be obedience 'in the Lord.' There can be ethical dilemmas where obeying one commandment contradicts another. The apostles had to keep on preaching Christ when the authorities told them not to because they decided to obey God rather than men. But a submissive heart doesn't go looking for any little excuse to not obey. Obedience to governmental authorities and husband headship is to be done as unto the Lord.
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