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From the "uncharitable thoughts I shouldn't be thinking" department....

Discussion in 'Married Couples' started by LovebirdsFlying, Sep 12, 2019.

  1. LovebirdsFlying

    LovebirdsFlying My husband drew this cartoon of me. Staff Member Red Team - Moderator Supporter

    United States
    But I've got to vent this somewhere.

    I belong to a weight loss support group on Facebook. Won't say which one. Confidentiality. So a new member comes in, all upset because after doing very well with eating right and exercising for the past week, she weighed herself and found she had gained a small amount. She's very discouraged. Says her husband came home to find a withered puddle of tears curled up in a ball on the couch. I responded by pointing out that many things can cause a gain that have nothing to do with how well we did or didn't do. Water weight, time of month, etc. Loss doesn't happen in a straight line--more like a seesaw, as my hubby puts it--and real long-term change takes time. If she's exercising, she could even be building muscle, which is good because blah blah blah. Anyway, I really tried to encourage her.

    Then I went to her Facebook page to look for clues as to what more I can say to help. Saw several of her photos that she had posted.

    Guess what?

    She doesn't even look overweight in the first place.


    She could be vain. She could have unrealistic expectations. She could have a warped body image. She could be the victim of other people abusively telling her she's fat, when she isn't. I have no way to know any of this, and frankly it isn't my business. But I do feel like my advice was probably wasted.

    As someone who has battled obesity, who is still in the "obese" range, but no longer the "morbidly," I suppose it's difficult for me to be patient with people who stress about their weight, when they really have no reason to. I want to scold and lecture and one-up. "You think YOU have a problem?" But that isn't helpful. I don't know what is.

    Do you?
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. A_Thinker

    A_Thinker Well-Known Member Supporter

    The fact that she became an emotional wreck after learning that she had gained a modicum of weight ... is a sign that weight-loss was not her REAL issue.

    OTOH, God "wastes" a lot of good-will, effort, teaching, etc. upon those who aren't even listening. It's no less LOVE ... because it is ignored ... or rejected. Think of all of the people for whom Christ died upon the cross ... who don't give a fig whether He did so or not.

    Praise God for your reflection of His LOVING character ... and may you continue to do so ...
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  3. *LILAC

    *LILAC Keeping it simple. Supporter

    It goes to show you have a very compassionate heart. Good for you for keeping your cool even after she posted her picture.
  4. snoochface

    snoochface Meet the new boss -- same as the old boss.

    I've been there. The worst is when someone who has maybe, maybe 10 or 15 lbs to lose to get to their "ideal" weight talks about how gross they feel and look, how much they hate how fat they are, on and on -- right in front of me, who is significantly, dramatically heavier. I'm thinking, "I'm right here. You're talking about how gross and disgusting you look with 10 lbs to lose. What must you be thinking of me?" It's very hard to be empathetic, but I think all you can do is realize that they have a great problem with insecurity and body image, and say a silent prayer for them.
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  5. christine40

    christine40 Well-Known Member

    United States
    it's possible she's trying to lose 15 or 20 lbs
    when one has less to lose, it even more difficult
    considering she was trying SO hard, it was very disappointing to her

    no matter how much one is trying to lose, it's difficult
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2019
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