I used to live in a beautiful home with my mom and sister. My parents were divorced so my dad had his own place. Everything was going ok and I thought my life was well. Knowing that I had a home, a mom, a dad (even though we weren't close) and my sister. But things starting to change in 2005. My dad got cancer and died in a week in the hospital. He never complained about any pain whenever me or my sister saw him. This was a shock. I grieved over my dad for a little but I calmed down knowing that I still had my mom. But in 2008 my mom then died suddenly from an accident. It was just me, my sister, and my maternal grandma. I had no other relatives besides those 2. After my mom died, I was going through hell with my sister and grandma. My mom's sudden death put all drama on us. My house had to be sold (which was another loss for me) and me and my sister moved in with our grandma. Which I hated b/c I was never close to my grandma. Things then got worse so I decided to leave my family and lived with a friend for a while. I ended up going back with my family though after some time. It's 11 years later now. I feel like my life was going good til my mom's death. I never thought I would lose my mom and dad in my early 20s. I always thought me and my sister would live in our house forever, my dad living longer, and my grandma would die before my mom. Now with fearing of being without a family and no friends in the future, I regret being born. I wish I could go back in time and not come on earth. I ask myself over and over of why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong to lose my mom, my dad, and my home? I'm so depressed and stressed and feel like this was a punishment for me.
I used to live in a beautiful home with my mom and sister. My parents were divorced so my dad had his own place. Everything was going ok and I thought my life was well. Knowing that I had a home, a mom, a dad (even though we weren't close) and my sister. But things starting to change in 2005. My dad got cancer and died in a week in the hospital. He never complained about any pain whenever me or my sister saw him. This was a shock. I grieved over my dad for a little but I calmed down knowing that I still had my mom. But in 2008 my mom then died suddenly from an accident. It was just me, my sister, and my maternal grandma. I had no other relatives besides those 2. After my mom died, I was going through hell with my sister and grandma. My mom's sudden death put all drama on us. My house had to be sold (which was another loss for me) and me and my sister moved in with our grandma. Which I hated b/c I was never close to my grandma. Things then got worse so I decided to leave my family and lived with a friend for a while. I ended up going back with my family though after some time. It's 11 years later now. I feel like my life was going good til my mom's death. I never thought I would lose my mom and dad in my early 20s. I always thought me and my sister would live in our house forever, my dad living longer, and my grandma would die before my mom. Now with fearing of being without a family and no friends in the future, I regret being born. I wish I could go back in time and not come on earth. I ask myself over and over of why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong to lose my mom, my dad, and my home? I'm so depressed and stressed and feel like this was a punishment for me.
God loves you. He will never leave you. That isn't to say that you can sin as much as you want and expect him to stick around, but if you pursue his ways and try to develop a relationship with him, then he will stay close to you. God bless you and I hope that everything goes well for all of you guys.
Matthew 5:3-16,21-26 ESV
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. [4] "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. [5] "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. [6] "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. [7] "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. [8] "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. [9] "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. [10] "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. [11] "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. [12] Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. [13] "You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. [14] "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. [15] Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. [16] In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. [21] "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.' [22] But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable to the hell of fire. [23] So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, [24] leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. [25] Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. [26] Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
Matthew 6:25-34 ESV
"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? [26] Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? [27] And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? [28] And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, [29] yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. [30] But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? [31] Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' [32] For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. [33] But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. [34] "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
