Friendship advice

[sunshineforJesus]

Hi I was wondering if I can have some advice about something.Last night I was
getting impatient with a friend of mine bugging her to chat with me even though she wasnt in the mood. When she left for a few minutes to do something I got impatient and called her on messenger a couple times since I thought she was gonna wait till later. As a result she blocked me on facebook. She said she needs a break for a little while.Do you think if I leave her alone for a few weeks things will be ok.I was thinking of calling her on easter if she doesnt unblock me before than to wish her an happy easter.Would that be a good idea? Im so worried I will lose her as a friend and really dont want to.

 

[HARK!]

I wouldn't try to contact her anymore unless she contacts you. If you do; I suspect that you will make matters worse. If she has second thoughts about the way that she reacted; she'll call you. If she wants to continue as friends; she'll call you.

Just my humble opinion.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Thats what others have told me too.I just hate not being in control of this and having to wait for her to contact me.

 

[Albion]

As a result she blocked me on facebook. She said she needs a break for a little while.Do you think if I leave her alone for a few weeks things will be ok.I was thinking of calling her on easter if she doesnt unblock me before than to wish her an happy easter.

Thanks for asking our opinions. Unfortunately, this is a question for which there is no certain answer. She could go one way...or she could go another. We here really don't know.

However, I would think that the best approach would be for you to 1) leave her alone for a few weeks as she requested, and then 2) offer a humble apology.

I doubt that a Happy Easter card with no reference to the disagreement would succeed. Sure, send the card if you want, but I think it will probably take something more direct to get her to reconsider (if she is willing to do that even then).

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Thanks so much.Me and her have gotten in disagreements before and she always forgives me in time.
Last time she blocked me on chat within a few days she unblocked me. However last night I also kept writing stuff on her wall on facebook which also annoyed her,so this time she completely blocked me.

 

[Mel333]

Hi I was wondering if I can have some advice about something.Last night I was
getting impatient with a friend of mine bugging her to chat with me even though she wasnt in the mood. When she left for a few minutes to do something I got impatient and called her on messenger a couple times since I thought she was gonna wait till later. As a result she blocked me on facebook. She said she needs a break for a little while.Do you think if I leave her alone for a few weeks things will be ok.I was thinking of calling her on easter if she doesnt unblock me before than to wish her an happy easter.Would that be a good idea? Im so worried I will lose her as a friend and really dont want to.

She shouldn’t be giving you the silent treatment though as punishment so I would reconsider whether she is a friend.

But yes, you’ll have to leave her alone until she comes back.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

She always has been a friend,She just has a bit of a temper and tends to lose her temper easily.

 

[HARK!]

I just hate not being in control of this and having to wait for her to contact me.

I believe here lies the problem. I believe this is what drove her away from you. I'm sorry if this offends you; but I'm trying to help. This is my honest opinion. I tend be honest to a fault; even when it hurts me. It's something that I've been working on for about 40 years. Enough about me...

Patience. Do you like to be pushed? Do you like to be controlled? Most people don't.

 

[HARK!]

She shouldn’t be giving you the silent treatment though as punishment so I would reconsider whether she is a friend.

I was thinking the same thing; but maybe she's so upset that she feels it's better to say nothing.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I believe here lies the problem. I believe this is what drove her away from you. I'm sorry if this offends you; but I'm trying to help. This is my honest opinion. I tend be honest to a fault; even when it hurts me. It's something that I've been working on for about 40 years. Enough about me...

Patience. Do you like to be pushed? Do you like to be controlled? Most people don't.

You are right.My friend is stubborn and doesnt like being pushed into things or having people trying to control her.

 

[rockytopva]

Give Facebook friends the freedom to come and go. To keep them around always post things light hearted. I believe it was Saint Jerome who said when in Rome do as the Romans. See what posts Facebook friends like and try to do likewise. If you can't do likewise it may not be bad to see them go.

 

[Reborn1977]

Hi I was wondering if I can have some advice about something.Last night I was
getting impatient with a friend of mine bugging her to chat with me even though she wasnt in the mood. When she left for a few minutes to do something I got impatient and called her on messenger a couple times since I thought she was gonna wait till later. As a result she blocked me on facebook. She said she needs a break for a little while.Do you think if I leave her alone for a few weeks things will be ok.I was thinking of calling her on easter if she doesnt unblock me before than to wish her an happy easter.Would that be a good idea? Im so worried I will lose her as a friend and really dont want to.

Use whatever means available to you to apologize, let her know how important she is to you, then give her space to process all that and make a choice. Once she has made a choice she will get in touch with you if she wants a relationship.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I was thinking the same thing; but maybe she's so upset that she feels it's better to say nothing.

She says she needs a break for a while.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

New update: Today I was sneaky and texted her on my moms cell phone and
though she got mad at me she says she will unblock me when she knows I'll respect her boundaries.
Im assuming that means when she sees I havent called her or anything in a while.

 

[HARK!]

New update: Today I was sneaky and texted her on my moms cell phone and
though she got mad at me she says she will unblock me when she knows I'll respect her boundaries.
Im assuming that means when she sees I havent called her or anything in a while.

So in other words you didn't respect her boundaries?

You have a very patient friend. You could learn from her.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

No.I gave in to being impulsive and didnt respect her boundaries.and am truly sorry about it.
My friend is really patient and I know in time all will be well.I just have to wait it out and let her see that I am respecting her boundaries.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Btw I hope you all arent disappointed in me cause I was pretty upset with myself for what I did.

 

[Albion]

One thing is for sure. You cannot simply get past this one incident. If you violate those boundaries again, this could turn out to have been your final chance.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

One thing is for sure. You cannot simply get past this one incident. If you violate those boundaries again, this could turn out to have been your final chance.

What do you mean? This friend has always given me plenty of chances.

 

[Albion]

What do you mean? This friend has always given me plenty of chances.

Suit yourself, but if you think she will go on giving you another chance after another chance following your promises to respect her boundaries in the future...but then you don't do what you promised--

There is likely to be a time when she concludes that you either cannot control yourself or else didn't mean what you said about changing your ways.

Maybe if you backslide again, she will once more forgive you, but will she do that indefinitely? Most people have a breaking point somewhere.