Friends trying to set you up horror stories?

[Servant68]

I know we have all had well-meaning friends or family trying to set up us single people with who they think would be a wonderful match.

Would love to hear some of your tales.

I'll share my latest...

Friend of my mom approached me last week and says she has a 42yr old friend that just moved here from Reno. She's a pretty and sweet girl whose boyfriend just beat her up so she left him and moved 1500 miles to Idaho to live with her friend.

We have a short conversation and I express empathy for her abused friend and question if she is actually emotionally ready for a new relationship after the trauma of being abused.

Her reply is that this is the third man in a row that has physically abused her. Before this guy, she was married to an abusive man for a couple of years. Before that, her previous boyfriend also abused her. She is now ready for a nice guy. She has no career and everything she owns fits in her Camry.

Red flags are popping up everywhere; three abusive relationships in a row, 42yr old woman who has no stability, no home, no career, and no "stuff"(not necessarily a bad thing, but could be a sign that a person is not ready for a serious relationship) .

I check her out on Facebook and she is very pretty and doesn't use profanity and seems sweet. OK, I'll meet her and see what she's like.

Ran into the friend yesterday at WalMart and she started crying saying her friend left her after charging $500 in new tires on her tire shop account. Friend went to California to live with her mom.

Yeah... Glad I missed out on that golden opportunity...

 

[Deadworm]

When I was in my 20s, I was a dcctoral student at Harvard in New Testament, Judaism, and Greco-Roman backgrounds. I was lonely; so I dated several great women, but felt too much pressure and uncertainty from the rigors of my studies to settle down and get married. My male friends regaled me with sad stories about loneliness or divorce and my facetious attitude was: "Don't worry! Uncle Don keeps his boys well stocked!"

(1) First there was Jamie. He told me he liked blonds; so I brought him to the singles group at Park St. Church, where before the program, we had a potluck dinner. As the women paraded through the foodline, I pointed to various attractive blonds, but Jamie's attention was focused on a readhead. I replied: "I thought you preferred blonds!" "OK, so I need to be more flexible."

So I sat next to the readhead, Karen, and aggressively engaged her in conversation, with Jamie sitting passively next to me. Then, as planned, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and Jamie slipped into my seat. When I returned, I expressed mock horror that he stole my seat! They are now happily married with 4 children.

(2) Then there was Roger, a Christian very active in social justice ministry and ministry to the poor. One Sunday Clare visited our singles group and I could tell that Roger ws smitten, but too shy to move in. After our program we all went out for burgers at a restaurant, but there was a problem: a tall handsome visitor had come to be group to cut a fillie out from the heard and Clare was clearly his target. He expressed a casual interest in basket ball. So with perfect timing, I asked him a question about the Celtics just as he was about to sit next to Clare. Annoyed, he brusquely answered my question, but the delay allowed Roger to slip in and sit next to Clare. They are now happily married with 3 kids!

(3) Then there was Russ. Tired of his whining about his divorce, I pressured him to join me and a lady friend on a blind double date with Mary, a social worker whom I had once dated from the Park St. singles group. They wanted to go dancing, which I hated because I'm not a dancer., But I got by by faking it! Anyway, afterwards we went back to Marilyn's (my date's) apartment. To my horror, Russ took it upon himself to pull out 5 weed smokes and everyone looked at me for their cues. I don't do drugs and was angry at Russ for pulling this stunt without my permission. But I knew this could ruin the evening and ruin any chance for Russ and Mary to start a relationship. So I agreed. Everyone got high except me. Everyone made fun of Bill Clinton when he said he had smoked marijuana, but never inhaled. But that was my story. The result? Russ and Mary are now happily married with 3 kids.

Eventually, the other single ladies at Park St. learned through gossip that their lady friends were all getting married through my meddling. This meant that whenever they saw me talk to a handsome stranger, they thought I might have them in mind as a target. The intrigue of their suspicious glances was great fun and made me more interesting than I really am! So I guess matchmaking is one of my inadvertent gifts. I continued such matchmaking successfully after I left Boston.

 

[Sketcher]

My own brother recommended somebody who turned out to be diagnosed with three mental illnesses. I forget what they all were, but mild depression wasn't one of them, they were legit. Lesson learned: If the people who know you best are white knights and you're not, they're not the best people to set you up.

 

[timewerx]

Relatives matched me to a rich woman.

But she looked so different... it would be far too obvious to see why I would even be with her so it's a no-go!

 

[Gnarwhal]

When I was in my 20s, I was a dcctoral student at Harvard in New Testament, Judaism, and Greco-Roman backgrounds. I was lonely; so I dated several great women, but felt too much pressure and uncertainty from the rigors of my studies to settle down and get married. My male friends regaled me with sad stories about loneliness or divorce and my facetious attitude was: "Don't worry! Uncle Don keeps his boys well stocked!"

(1) First there was Jamie. He told me he liked blonds; so I brought him to the singles group at Park St. Church, where before the program, we had a potluck dinner. As the women paraded through the foodline, I pointed to various attractive blonds, but Jamie's attention was focused on a readhead. I replied: "I thought you preferred blonds!" "OK, so I need to be more flexible."

So I sat next to the readhead, Karen, and aggressively engaged her in conversation, with Jamie sitting passively next to me. Then, as planned, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and Jamie slipped into my seat. When I returned, I expressed mock horror that he stole my seat! They are now happily married with 4 children.

(2) Then there was Roger, a Christian very active in social justice ministry and ministry to the poor. One Sunday Clare visited our singles group and I could tell that Roger ws smitten, but too shy to move in. After our program we all went out for burgers at a restaurant, but there was a problem: a tall handsome visitor had come to be group to cut a fillie out from the heard and Clare was clearly his target. He expressed a casual interest in basket ball. So with perfect timing, I asked him a question about the Celtics just as he was about to sit next to Clare. Annoyed, he brusquely answered my question, but the delay allowed Roger to slip in and sit next to Clare. They are now happily married with 3 kids!

(3) Then there was Russ. Tired of his whining about his divorce, I pressured him to join me and a lady friend on a blind double date with Mary, a social worker whom I had once dated from the Park St. singles group. They wanted to go dancing, which I hated because I'm not a dancer., But I got by by faking it! Anyway, afterwards we went back to Marilyn's (my date's) apartment. To my horror, Russ took it upon himself to pull out 5 weed smokes and everyone looked at me for their cues. I don't do drugs and was angry at Russ for pulling this stunt without my permission. But I knew this could ruin the evening and ruin any chance for Russ and Mary to start a relationship. So I agreed. Everyone got high except me. Everyone made fun of Bill Clinton when he said he had smoked marijuana, but never inhaled. But that was my story. The result? Russ and Mary are now happily married with 3 kids.

Eventually, the other single ladies at Park St. learned through gossip that their lady friends were all getting married through my meddling. This meant that whenever they saw me talk to a handsome stranger, they thought I might have them in mind as a target. The intrigue of their suspicious glances was great fun and made me more interesting than I really am! So I guess matchmaking is one of my inadvertent gifts. I continued such matchmaking successfully after I left Boston.

You're a regular Cyrano de Bergerac...

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I've been lightly teased here and there from my immediate family but nobody has ever actually tried to set me up. They know better than to pull a stunt like that on me. So, yeah, in nutshell, zero horror stories for me.

I'm sorry those for those of you who have had bad experiences.

 

[High Fidelity]

They know better than to pull a stunt like that on me. So, yeah, in nutshell, zero horror stories for me.

Same. I honestly can't think of much worse than that happening. If someone tried then I'd be polite, but if they persisted then God help them.

 

[leothelioness]

My first ever date was a set up and it was a blind date as well. Looking back it was a terrible idea, but I was inexperienced and naive, so I was open to it.

He turned out to be passive aggressive and somewhat controlling. He would randomly insult me for no known reason and then blame it on him being tired. He also cancelled a date on me so he could stay home and drink beer after having planned the date himself. That's just one of MANY incidences.

So, yeah, that was my first ever dating experience and I have not dated since.

 

[Miles]

At most, I've been surprised by how wrongly other people guess my type. I'm not referring to looks, but in general. They're never the kind of women I click with.

 

[timewerx]

He turned out to be passive aggressive and somewhat controlling. He would randomly insult me for no known reason and then blame it on him being tired. He also cancelled a date on me so he could stay home and drink beer after having planned the date himself. That's just one of MANY incidences.

So, yeah, that was my first ever dating experience and I have not dated since.

Most of us guys are like that...................NOPE!

Don't let one bad date scare you.

On the other hand, my very first date was also setup and it turned out well. We could have been together if I was able to get her to move to my place. It didn't materialize and is mostly my fault.

 

[leothelioness]

Most of us guys are like that...................NOPE!

Don't let one bad date scare you.

There are various reasons I haven't dated since then, mainly disinterest. But that was a dilly of an experience. Lol

 

[High Fidelity]

dilly

 

[leothelioness]

I knew someone was going to do this.

 

[Sketcher]

My first ever date was a set up and it was a blind date as well. Looking back it was a terrible idea, but I was inexperienced and naive, so I was open to it.

He turned out to be passive aggressive and somewhat controlling. He would randomly insult me for no known reason and then blame it on him being tired. He also cancelled a date on me so he could stay home and drink beer after having planned the date himself. That's just one of MANY incidences.

So, yeah, that was my first ever dating experience and I have not dated since.

You can do a lot better than that.

 

[leothelioness]

You can do a lot better than that.

Eh, I'm not concerned about it. It was a good learning experience and really helped me to realize that I don't want or need someone as much as I thought.

 

[Squeakers]

There was one time I went out drinking with some friends...I was unfortunately the only single there (5th wheelin'). So...we had a few drinks, made merry, and I happened to let slip that I thought our server was kinda cute. My friends took that and ran with it...they wrote my name and number on a piece of paper and left it on the table for him to find.

A few days later...he came into the store I work at...with a woman and child (presumably his wife and kid). Yeah...he took one look at me and darn near ran outta the aisle. I played it cool and pretended I didn't recognize him, just for both of our sakes.

 

[mojoboy31]

My sister tried to set me up with her neighbor. I politely declined cause I was interested in someone else at the time. She is still mad at me, and still rags on my mom about it to this day.

My brother asked me about maybe meetinf one of his girlfriend's roommates. I firmly declined.
He took me to a coffee shop one day, and his girlfriend was coming to meet us. And she brought a young girl along with her, which I'm sure shocked my brother to the core
It turned out she wasn't a roommate, she was a friend from her church, so I hadn't technically declined to that... loopholes...

She looked really young-- really young...
I asked how old she was. 16. The shocked horror on my bro and his gf's faces were priceless. They didn't even bother to make sure she was age appropriate! They just assumed she was over 18 cause she's mature. No one has tried to pull a fast one on me since.