Friends in the Faith

[Arielle Hernandez]

Hello everyone.

I imagine that I'm not the only person struggling with this, but I am a 16-year-old girl and rather introverted. Although I won't push people away when trying to start a conversation, I'm not normally the type to go up to people and say "hello". I try to be friendly nevertheless, planting seeds of friendship, however, I haven't yet found any Christian friends that I can truly lean on and talk to. I haven't yet found one or two friends that are solid enough in the faith that they can build me up as I hope to build them up.

Call me a dreamer, but I've been searching for faithful friends who I can not only talk to about the bible and pray and get deep with, but also someone I can go out and see a movie or the mall with, or just out for a stroll in town on a regular basis. I've been looking for a brother or sister in Christ that I can honestly say is my best friend and not have to worry about being unequally yolked, disagreeing on concrete things like who God is, or feeling like we're drifting or don't have time to spend with each other.

Although I do have a few friends that are Christian and who I go to for support, all of them are busy people with not much else in common besides our faith. Two of them are college students who are too far from me to spend time with, though they're always open to me if I need help over the phone. The other friend is also introverted. We have more to talk about with each other like anime and k-pop, but we don't see each other often at all because we go to different schools and are not always able to attend bible study. She also isn't as open with me as I have been open to her and she has had a few dips in her faith that for one reason or another, she wouldn't talk to me about.

I probably sound very picky at this point having written three paragraphs about what I'm looking for in a friend, but all I really want is this:

- Someone I can discuss the word with, in a fun, non-awkward way
- Someone I can also laugh with and talk to about light-hearted, stupid stuff as well as serious and deep stuff
- Someone that is constant and will spend time or talk to me regularly

Being a teenager in junior year really isn't easy and there aren't many people that I know that I can say for sure that they are 100% Jesus freaks like me. Life is racing at me and I've come to realize that I'm on the battlefield without any true comrades. I'll keep praying about it and perhaps God will bring someone to me that meets my hopes and dreams. Maybe he'll bring someone that I need in my life but may not meet all the points. Whatever the case, I'll just be glad to have a holy spirit-filled friend that I can trust and partner with.

 

[Karin12414]

Hello Arielle

First off I have to give you props for being so passionate about finding a friend that is a follower of Christ

Now, when it comes to finding the "right" or "perfect" friend that is a great mix of fun and a devoted follower that will be there for you night and day, the only person that fit that bill was Jesus Himself. Humans are far from perfect and will disappoint you at every turn, so we can't put our faith in humans, only God.

That's not to say you won't find a friend, you just might have to lower some of your expectations. Don't look for the "perfect" friend, because they don't exist. We are all individuals with our own individual life problems going on, so there will be times we are a bit selfish and not have to time, but we can still be there for you.

You said you are 16, so you probably won't learn this for a while, but you are in probably the most unreliable, selfish age group right now. Not a bad thing, just a phase we all have to go through. I think going for older friends is one step in the right direction. But what about at Church? If you are a part of a Youth Group, then there are already people there that are trying to live in Christ.

I'm sorry for the rambling, and I hope this makes some sense to you lol but my main point is to just cut your fellow sinners some slack and just look for a sinner that is trying their best and that you can mutually support through your journey

 

[Arielle Hernandez]

Hello Arielle

First off I have to give you props for being so passionate about finding a friend that is a follower of Christ

Now, when it comes to finding the "right" or "perfect" friend that is a great mix of fun and a devoted follower that will be there for you night and day, the only person that fit that bill was Jesus Himself. Humans are far from perfect and will disappoint you at every turn, so we can't put our faith in humans, only God.

That's not to say you won't find a friend, you just might have to lower some of your expectations. Don't look for the "perfect" friend, because they don't exist. We are all individuals with our own individual life problems going on, so there will be times we are a bit selfish and not have to time, but we can still be there for you.

You said you are 16, so you probably won't learn this for a while, but you are in probably the most unreliable, selfish age group right now. Not a bad thing, just a phase we all have to go through. I think going for older friends is one step in the right direction. But what about at Church? If you are a part of a Youth Group, then there are already people there that are trying to live in Christ.

I'm sorry for the rambling, and I hope this makes some sense to you lol but my main point is to just cut your fellow sinners some slack and just look for a sinner that is trying their best and that you can mutually support through your journey

Absolutely! Thanks for the input, I very much appreciate it.

Not that I won't be friends with anything else than what I described, I just know that with life there must be a balance. I have a couple of really good friends at school who encourage me in my work and support me in the things I love to do, however, they're secular and could not help me or relate with me in some of the more important ways. Not to say that they aren't some of my best friends or that with time they can't give their life to Christ, but until then it would be helpful to have that person that I can relate with and grow with, in the Lord to balance things out in that way.

(Also I agree with being in the unreliable and selfish age group lol)

 

[Karin12414]

Absolutely! Thanks for the input, I very much appreciate it.

Not that I won't be friends with anything else than what I described, I just know that with life there must be a balance. I have a couple of really good friends at school who encourage me in my work and support me in the things I love to do, however, they're secular and could not help me or relate with me in some of the more important ways. Not to say that they aren't some of my best friends or that with time they can't give their life to Christ, but until then it would be helpful to have that person that I can relate with and grow with, in the Lord to balance things out in that way.

(Also I agree with being in the unreliable and selfish age group lol)

Lol yeah, it really is a bummer when some of your coolest friends don't know Christ. It's hard to talk to them about that stuff.

Do you attend a youth group that you could maybe try to find a friend in?

 

[slobake]

Maybe you can pray that you see people that could use you as a friend. I agree that you sound very sharp and passionate. There are a lot of other students your age who are probably struggling through the same things as you or maybe worse. Not that you can fix them but you can just be there and share their struggles with them. God does hear your prayers and I believe He is very fond of you. Friendship will come but I know it can be a struggle to feel alone.

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares."
Henri Nouwen

 

[Arielle Hernandez]

Lol yeah, it really is a bummer when some of your coolest friends don't know Christ. It's hard to talk to them about that stuff.

Do you attend a youth group that you could maybe try to find a friend in?

I do attend a youth group but it's only once a week and sometimes I'm not able to go because of homework and stuff. I do try to make friends there but I don't relate to too many people besides maybe a few friendly people that I can relate to. I've noticed that a lot of teenagers both in youth group and at school sort of clump together with others they already know or are good friends with. Naturally, that leaves less social people like me out because of their inside jokes or same schedules or just disinterest in my presence in general.

I will admit that I could work on being more friendly and outgoing. I keep to myself often and usually feel uncomfortable talking to new people. I'm currently working on that, so hopefully, as my courage and confidence grow, so will my friend group. (in a good way of course)

Maybe you can pray that you see people that could use you as a friend. I agree that you sound very sharp and passionate. There are a lot of other students your age who are probably struggling through the same things as you or maybe worse. Not that you can fix them but you can just be there and share their struggles with them. God does hear your prayers and I believe He is very fond of you. Friendship will come but I know it can be a struggle to feel alone.

"The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing... not healing, not curing... that is a friend who cares."
Henri Nouwen

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I'll be sure to keep bringing the issue to God. I know he'll place the right people in my path when he sees fit.