Friend denies COVID and forces me into her worldview

[WDSobieski]

A close friend of mine is living in one of the riskiest areas (also very densely populated) where there's already a curfew during night hours. However even as late as September and as of today she still doesn't take the pandemic seriously and still insists the virus being fake. The most worrying part is she asked me joining a weird "news" channel which she claimed being the uncensored truth, as well as saying she was well-informed after watching several shady YouTube videos (on the other hand there're already lots of mythbuster videos around) which contain crazy conspiracy theories. As we often meet due to work or studies, it's indeed (even virtually) inevitable interacting her. Now I'm rather conflicted about how to deal with these relationships without being a jerk and also her mindset of her feeling entitled or superior for holding fringe (and potentially dangerous) views? While we know our mutual friends well and they're all rational, careful folks, I just don't know what kind of people she hangs out with, and where she got these views from.

The worst part of people breeching these rules or not wearing masks is not only they're risking themselves, they're also very selfish folks using freedom as their excuses.

Edit and PS: To prevent misunderstandings I didn't got persuaded and dare clicking into these links, as they're literally gateway drugs to even more dangerous things. We used to get along very well and many of our mutual friends knew nothing about her, and she literally became another person after COVID.

 

[JohnDB]

A close friend of mine is living in one of the riskiest areas (also very densely populated) where there's already a curfew during night hours. However even as late as September and as of today she still doesn't take the pandemic seriously and still insists the virus being fake. The most worrying part is she asked me joining a weird "news" channel which she claimed being the uncensored truth, as well as saying she was well-informed after watching several shady YouTube videos (on the other hand there're already lots of mythbuster videos around) which contain crazy conspiracy theories. As we often meet due to work or studies, it's indeed (even virtually) inevitable interacting her. Now I'm rather conflicted about how to deal with these relationships without being a jerk and also her mindset of her feeling entitled or superior for holding fringe (and potentially dangerous) views? While we know our mutual friends well and they're all rational, careful folks, I just don't know what kind of people she hangs out with, and where she got these views from.

The worst part of people breeching these rules or not wearing masks is not only they're risking themselves, they're also very selfish folks using freedom as their excuses.

What is troubling you that you aren't noticing is the classification of this person as a "close friend" that you don't share in the same set of moral standards with.

This person can't actually be a friend if they are actively trying to change you. They aren't even respectful of who you are.

But you are claiming close friendship.

Ok...this has to stop.
You can begin by limiting them to an associate level of interaction.

Boundaries is the real problem here.
You really need to develop some.

 

[Bond-servant of Christ]

the virus is VERY REAL and can indeed be VERY dangerous. it has affected almost every country in the world, and is now about a year old and still spreading fast. It MUST be taken seriously.

 

[SeventyOne]

A close friend of mine is living in one of the riskiest areas (also very densely populated) where there's already a curfew during night hours. However even as late as September and as of today she still doesn't take the pandemic seriously and still insists the virus being fake. The most worrying part is she asked me joining a weird "news" channel which she claimed being the uncensored truth, as well as saying she was well-informed after watching several shady YouTube videos (on the other hand there're already lots of mythbuster videos around) which contain crazy conspiracy theories. As we often meet due to work or studies, it's indeed (even virtually) inevitable interacting her. Now I'm rather conflicted about how to deal with these relationships without being a jerk and also her mindset of her feeling entitled or superior for holding fringe (and potentially dangerous) views? While we know our mutual friends well and they're all rational, careful folks, I just don't know what kind of people she hangs out with, and where she got these views from.

The worst part of people breeching these rules or not wearing masks is not only they're risking themselves, they're also very selfish folks using freedom as their excuses.

She insists the virus is fake or the pandemic is fake? There is a huge difference.

 

[Hank77]

She insists the virus is fake or the pandemic is fake? There is a huge difference.

That is a very true statement.
We know the virus isn't fake; is the pandemic fake.

An outbreak is called an epidemic when there is a sudden increase in cases. As COVID-19 began spreading in Wuhan, China, it became an epidemic...

Because the disease then spread across several countries and affected a large number of people, it was classified as a pandemic. [Jul 1, 2020, CDC]

Is the pandemic fake, no what we are seeing is clearly a pandemic by definition.

 

[bèlla]

Why do you have meet with her? And why did you agree to join the site? After one video the ideology clear. Why didn't you say no?

You appear to be very accommodating where she's concerned. If she has a strong personality and you can't stand your ground, this won't turn out well.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[SeventyOne]

That is a very true statement.
We know the virus isn't fake; is the pandemic fake.

An outbreak is called an epidemic when there is a sudden increase in cases. As COVID-19 began spreading in Wuhan, China, it became an epidemic...

Because the disease then spread across several countries and affected a large number of people, it was classified as a pandemic. [Jul 1, 2020, CDC]

Is the pandemic fake, no what we are seeing is clearly a pandemic by definition.

That wasn't my question, but we'll have to agree to disagree on your conclusion.

 

[WDSobieski]

What is troubling you that you aren't noticing is the classification of this person as a "close friend" that you don't share in the same set of moral standards with.

This person can't actually be a friend if they are actively trying to change you. They aren't even respectful of who you are.

But you are claiming close friendship.

Ok...this has to stop.
You can begin by limiting them to an associate level of interaction.

Boundaries is the real problem here.
You really need to develop some.

She and me used to be pretty close but until the moment for this very unexpected moment when I discovered her ugly beliefs a couple weeks ago. A close friend no more.

 

[Brightmoon]

You would think that she’s the jerk if she killed you because of her silly beliefs . Wear the mask in her presence and refuse to let her either tease or shame you into removing it. As every one’s parents used to say ,” If your friends jump off a bridge are you going to do it too!?!?” Let her jump off that bridge by herself

 

[WDSobieski]

Why do you have meet with her? And why did you agree to join the site? After one video the ideology clear. Why didn't you say no?

You appear to be very accommodating where she's concerned. If she has a strong personality and you can't stand your ground, this won't turn out well.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

I rejected everything she believes and I didn't join it at all. At one point I feel like she should face the facts that it won't go well, even though she still has some redeemable traits, now I really have to rethink about our friendship. I mean, actually I wanted her going back to the right track as she became very strange after the outbreak. Sad that she used to be a very intelligent, nice person.

 

[WDSobieski]

She insists the virus is fake or the pandemic is fake? There is a huge difference.

She denied the existence of the virus and claimed the whole pandemic being artificially made. Have to keep our contact to bare minimum except on projects or workplace.

 

[WDSobieski]

You would think that she’s the jerk if she killed you because of her silly beliefs . Wear the mask in her presence and refuse to let her either tease or shame you into removing it. As every one’s parents used to say ,” If your friends jump off a bridge are you going to do it too!?!?” Let her jump off that bridge by herself

I actually stood firm and not believing in what she believes, yet burning bridges isn't yet the appropriate thing at this moment.

Before the pandemic she used to be a nice, intelligent person but out of fear and uncertainties, dangerous beliefs start to seep into people's minds. It was quite shocking (together mourning over a friendship with her) learning that she got influenced, which is quite miserable and I prayed for her ditching such views. The feeling is like losing a friend from an accident and she would not be the same person ever again. From this case it's already a warning on how fear eats people up, particularly Christians (I don't know about her religious beliefs but she's from a very Christian region, but who knows...).

 

[Hazelelponi]

A close friend of mine is living in one of the riskiest areas (also very densely populated) where there's already a curfew during night hours. However even as late as September and as of today she still doesn't take the pandemic seriously and still insists the virus being fake. The most worrying part is she asked me joining a weird "news" channel which she claimed being the uncensored truth, as well as saying she was well-informed after watching several shady YouTube videos (on the other hand there're already lots of mythbuster videos around) which contain crazy conspiracy theories. As we often meet due to work or studies, it's indeed (even virtually) inevitable interacting her. Now I'm rather conflicted about how to deal with these relationships without being a jerk and also her mindset of her feeling entitled or superior for holding fringe (and potentially dangerous) views? While we know our mutual friends well and they're all rational, careful folks, I just don't know what kind of people she hangs out with, and where she got these views from.

The worst part of people breeching these rules or not wearing masks is not only they're risking themselves, they're also very selfish folks using freedom as their excuses.

I'm not a huge proponent of mask wearing but I live rurally rather than in a big city, and rarely leave the house due to disability although when I do go out in public I do wear one for the mental well-being of others if nothing else.

I do have freinds who are on the other side of the isle from me, two in particular I'm related to. The female of the two never wears a mask when she comes to visit, but her husband does...

When he is over my husband and I respect him enough to wear one...

When it comes down to it, it is about respecting others despite whether we agree or disagree on various issues.

If your friend doesn't respect you enough to respect your views - when it comes to behaviors like wearing a mask - then she's not really a freind... that's just honest.

So be honest with her about your views, tell her you respectfully agree to disagree with her, and then drop the subject.

If she won't offer you the same respect your offering her, then she's no friend and it's something worth mentioning... then just ignore her in group settings where you can't escape her presence.

Friendship offers enough care to share your feelings, and then respect others enough to drop it verbally, and respect someone else's views physically.

 

[WDSobieski]

I'm not a huge proponent of mask wearing but I live rurally rather than in a big city, and rarely leave the house due to disability although when I do go out in public I do wear one for the mental well-being of others if nothing else.

I do have freinds who are on the other side of the isle from me, two in particular I'm related to. The female of the two never wears a mask when she comes to visit, but her husband does...

When he is over my husband and I respect him enough to wear one...

When it comes down to it, it is about respecting others despite whether we agree or disagree on various issues.

If your friend doesn't respect you enough to respect your views - when it comes to behaviors like wearing a mask - then she's not really a freind... that's just honest.

So be honest with her about your views, tell her you respectfully agree to disagree with her, and then drop the subject.

If she won't offer you the same respect your offering her, then she's no friend and it's something worth mentioning... then just ignore her in group settings where you can't escape her presence.

Friendship offers enough care to share your feelings, and then respect others enough to drop it verbally, and respect someone else's views physically.

Thanks and exactly, I've already kept things to minimum and it was quite a bummer learning about this. Hi-byes are enough but meeting up for lengthy calls or Skyping? No more. Yet sometimes I wished and prayed for her abandoning these views but the whole thing is... difficult. We don't know exactly why she got this mindset, her upbringing and also concerns either.

 

[Hazelelponi]

Thanks and exactly, I've already kept things to minimum and it was quite a bummer learning about this. Hi-byes are enough but meeting up for lengthy calls or Skyping? No more. Yet sometimes I wished and prayed for her abandoning these views but the whole thing is... difficult. We don't know exactly why she got this mindset, her upbringing and also concerns either.

If she drops the topic there's no reason to stop befriending her... there are tons of people in this world who don't hold the same beliefs who are freinds...

It's just a matter if she's overly pushy or weird about it, or otherwise refuses to respect your own views..

 

[JohnDB]

She and me used to be pretty close but until the moment for this very unexpected moment when I discovered her ugly beliefs a couple weeks ago. A close friend no more.

And the real problem is how you didn't notice this before now?

Yeah...I can agree with that.

How much grace do you extend for friendships? What's the actual cost of doing so?

I am having similar questions myself.

 

[WDSobieski]

And the real problem is how you didn't notice this before now?

Yeah...I can agree with that.

How much grace do you extend for friendships? What's the actual cost of doing so?

I am having similar questions myself.

It's more or less inevitable meeting her both IRL and virtually, if I have to censor everything I say (there's a chance that she subscribe to other conspiracy theories, so she might be triggered from certain mentions) it's no longer somebody I enjoy being friends with.

 

[Tony B]

A close friend no more.

Yes. It's sad when this happens. But to safeguard our self-love and respect, and peace, sometimes we have to drift apart from past acquaintances, and at times that may mean family too.

 

[Joined2krist]

If I had to face a similar situation, I would treat her like I would like to be treated if I miss my way in life. I would first give her some space, while checking up from time to time to see if her views has changed or is changing gradually, if she still holds unto those wrong views, I would actively look for someone in her life whom she holds in high regard, perhaps even her Priest or a Pastor, Sister, Father, Mother, anyone else close enough, and I will speak to that person about it, perhaps he/she can be more persuasive than I am and she might change her views.

If that doesn't work, then I will not try to talk her out of it any further, i would also keep my distance but continue praying for her

 

[DiscipleHeLovesToo]

I actually stood firm and not believing in what she believes, yet burning bridges isn't yet the appropriate thing at this moment.

Before the pandemic she used to be a nice, intelligent person but out of fear and uncertainties, dangerous beliefs start to seep into people's minds. It was quite shocking (together mourning over a friendship with her) learning that she got influenced, which is quite miserable and I prayed for her ditching such views. The feeling is like losing a friend from an accident and she would not be the same person ever again. From this case it's already a warning on how fear eats people up, particularly Christians (I don't know about her religious beliefs but she's from a very Christian region, but who knows...).

(emphasis added by me)

you, a Christian, have a close friend, and you don't know if she is a Christian? shouldn't this have been the first thing to find out before allowing yourself to think of her as a close friend? if she doesn't talk about her faith in God, then you have no reason to believe that she is a Christian, do you? remember, 'by their fruits ye shall know them' (Mat 7:15-20).

so if you assume that she is not reborn in Christ, the next question is whether you should withdraw from her out of fear of being infected by her wrong thinking (more deadly than any disease including covid), or give God a chance to speak to her through you - but not so much about covid; but about becoming a daughter of God and receiving eternal life. remember, you are the one with Almighty God protecting your back, not her; and He's given you armor and a weapon (the Word of God) to fight off the devil as you spread the Good News of salvation (armor that she likely does not have):

(Eph 6:10) Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
(Eph 6:11) Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
(Eph 6:12) For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
(Eph 6:13) Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
(Eph 6:14) Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
(Eph 6:15) And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
(Eph 6:16) Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
(Eph 6:17) And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
(Eph 6:18) Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;
(Eph 6:19) And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,
(Eph 6:20) For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
(emphsis added my me)

Praying...for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel,...that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
(disciplehelovestoo translation of verses 18-20)

for now; put aside covid, and your own fears of her potentially bad influence on you (you've got armor and the most powerful weapon in the universe to protect you from that); she needs to hear the Gospel, not arguments about whether covid exists - hell is a greater danger to her. remember; God doesn't have anyone in a flesh body on this earth right now who is qualified for Him to speak through; so He has to use someone who is willing and available...