FORGIVENESS IS NOT ACCEPTANCE

[HeavenMindset]

One of the hardest things to do in life is forgive someone who has hurt us! Pain is real and seems to never go away. If you look back at a time in your life when someone hurt you, you can still feel the pain as though it just happened! This is why we hate to talk about times in our life when someone hurt us.

In the model of prayer, Jesus teaches us to ask God to forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us. This passage shows that we can be sinned against and we can sin against others and not just God. When others hurt us, they sin against us and we are called to forgive them! You see, we forgive others, not only because God tells us to, but when we forgive others, it frees our hearts from the torment we would carry for the rest of our lives.

When we are hurt, the one who hurt us, rarely feels any pain from their actions towards us. And many have zero recollection of causing us pain. We can sit around waiting our entire lives for a heart felt apology but lets be honest; that apology most likely will never come.

We feel the pain of the hurt the second it happens and that pain stays with us forever. We forgive those who hurt us, not because they deserve it, but because WE deserve it. Forgiveness destroys the pain that never goes away!

For many, forgiveness seems to be an impossible notion only because they don't exactly know what forgiveness is. Many people think that forgiving someone is saying, "I'm ok with what you did to me." or "What you did to me is ok." This is never what forgiveness means! When God forgives us, He is not saying that He is now cool with what we have done. What He is saying is that He will not punish us for what we have done. Not only that, but God will no longer remember what sins we have committed.

Forgiveness is saying, "Jesus, please don't punish them for what they did to me. I don't want them punished, instead, change their hearts to look like yours!" That is what forgiveness is! It is releasing that person from the punishment they deserve, and asking God to change them to look like Him!

If someone hurts me, I try to understand that they are hurting me from some pain that they carry in their hearts. Then my desire for them is to have their heart free from whatever torments them. Then of course, I want their heart to look just like Jesus's. I would rather see everyone changed to look like God than to be punished for any sin they commit against me!

It is extremely hard to look back at a time when someone hurt us, but to have freedom, we have to go back to that time and forgive them. I have done this on so many occasions and I can promise you form experience, that God will free your heart form the pain and torment you have carried around your entire life!

Your forgiveness is not just limited to those who have hurt you, forgiveness is also for you to forgive yourself!!!!! We all have times we have messed up caused someone pain. The pain of causing this hurt in someone else can devastate us! Forgive yourself! Ask God to change your heart to look like His. Ask Him to bless the person you hurt so that His blessing and Love will erase the pain they carry. It is OK to forgive yourself, You have to! Your heart is too valuable to carry so much pain!

Forgive others, Forgive yourself, Free your own heart, Because you deserve it and you are worth it!!!


Heavenmindset.com



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[MostRadicalManEver]

I was doing a search on forgiveness to see what people thought about it. One of the best things i have seen recently is a movie on youtube (which is free ) about how a pastor forgave the murderer of his mother.
"Live to Forgive" It's a documentary.

when i saw the "forgiveness is not acceptance" post, i agree with that. But maybe the Lord wants us to even Love our enemies and those that spitefully use us. Do good to those that hate us. This means to have an interaction with them.

Plus on the account of Matt 18 where Peter is asking Jesus if his brother sins against him, how many times is he to forgive..... and Jesus says seven times seventy and goes onto the parable of the debtor.

The reason i am talking about this, is the "not acceptance" part to me intimates the idea of cutting of company with the offender. Which, although it isn't addressed in your post, that was my knee-jerk thought.

thanks for the post

 

[brinny]

I was doing a search on forgiveness to see what people thought about it. One of the best things i have seen recently is a movie on youtube (which is free ) about how a pastor forgave the murderer of his mother.
"Live to Forgive" It's a documentary.

when i saw the "forgiveness is not acceptance" post, i agree with that. But maybe the Lord wants us to even Love our enemies and those that spitefully use us. Do good to those that hate us. This means to have an interaction with them.

Plus on the account of Matt 18 where Peter is asking Jesus if his brother sins against him, how many times is he to forgive..... and Jesus says seven times seventy and goes onto the parable of the debtor.

The reason i am talking about this, is the "not acceptance" part to me intimates the idea of cutting of company with the offender. Which, although it isn't addressed in your post, that was my knee-jerk thought.

thanks for the post

Sometimes it is NECESSARY to "cut off" contact with someone who might have brutalized and/or victimized us and seeks to do so yet again.

 

[MostRadicalManEver]

Sometimes it is NECESSARY to "cut off" contact with someone who might have brutalized and/or victimized us and seeks to do so yet again.

This passage is the one I was thinking of....

Matthew 18:21-22 KJV Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? (22) Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

 

[brinny]

This passage is the one I was thinking of....

Matthew 18:21-22 KJV Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? (22) Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Not following you.

 

[MostRadicalManEver]

Not following you.

the passage i used shows that we have to keep forgiving our brethren. continually. This constant forgiveness leaves me to think that there is a lot of conversation taking place.

Now on your point of abusive behavior. I am still looking for some scripture.
There are some scriptures that talk about not eating with unruly brethren. etc...

1 Corinthians 5:11 KJV But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

2 Thessalonians 3:6 KJV (6) Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.

1 Timothy 6:5 KJV Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.

Romans 16:17 KJV Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

 

[Tull]

Thes

the passage i used shows that we have to keep forgiving our brethren. continually. This constant forgiveness leaves me to think that there is a lot of conversation taking place.

Now on your point of abusive behavior. I am still looking for some scripture.
There are some scriptures that talk about not eating with unruly brethren. etc...

1 Corinthians 5:11 KJV But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

2 Thessalonians 3:6 KJV (6) Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.

1 Timothy 6:5 KJV Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.

Romans 16:17 KJV Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

These passages cleary instruct people to avoid certain people....realy not hard to understand.

 

[Grafted In]

I think Romans 12 helps understand how to move forward if one we have forgiven is not gracious about our sudden change in heart.

OP, I think your post was excellent. I, myself, lived with an unforgiving and bitter heart for nearly 35 years before God led me into and through a number of situations that brought me to the point of forgiving, ONLY by His help, though He chose to use even the unsaved.
Prior to that there was not a single day that the hurt I felt would not terrorize my mind several times each day. Since forgiving, though not all problems have been resolved ( we do far more harm to the innocent ones in our lives than the one we will not forgive) not one single time has that memory brought that awful terror to mind.

 

[brinny]

the passage i used shows that we have to keep forgiving our brethren. continually. This constant forgiveness leaves me to think that there is a lot of conversation taking place.

Now on your point of abusive behavior. I am still looking for some scripture.
There are some scriptures that talk about not eating with unruly brethren. etc...

1 Corinthians 5:11 KJV But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.

2 Thessalonians 3:6 KJV (6) Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.

1 Timothy 6:5 KJV Perverse disputings of men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, supposing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thyself.

Romans 16:17 KJV Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

Read post #3 again and the post i was responding to.

Thank you kindly.

 

[Tull]

Matthew 18:21-22 KJV Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? (22) Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Seems like a green light to those who do evil to others doesn't it.