Forced to Have sex with people I didnt know

[Bluerose31]

I was not a part of the sex industry but I was forced to have sex with people I did not know when I was kidnapped. I still feel bad about it. I feel like I will never be cleaned and whole. It was a woman and two men. I was raped. Reading over writings in this forum helps me alot as I see other women and men have suffered what I have.

 

[Rescued One]

I was not a part of the sex industry but I was forced to have sex with people I did not know when I was kidnapped. I still feel bad about it. I feel like I will never be cleaned and whole. It was a woman and two men. I was raped. Reading over writings in this forum helps me alot as I see other women and men have suffered what I have.

The rapists are the ones who are not clean!

 

[Bluerose31]

The rapists are the ones who are not clean!

Thank you for this

 

[Darkhorse]

Like Phoebe Ann says, you are not dirty; you never were, because the sex was done to you, you were not a willing participant.

God can and will make you whole again, if you follow Him and allow Him to repair the broken parts. It takes time, but He's a Master at it.

Too many people in your situation turn away from God and keep voluntarily repeating their torment. There is no peace on that road.

 

[Bluerose31]

Like Phoebe Ann says, you are not dirty; you never were, because the sex was done to you, you were not a willing participant.

God can and will make you whole again, if you follow Him and allow Him to repair the broken parts. It takes time, but He's a Master at it.

Too many people in your situation turn away from God and keep voluntarily repeating their torment. There is no peace on that road.

Thank you for your encouragement Darkhorse

 

[frienden thalord]

phoebe ann....................is right on............
but I say let us pray their forgivness , and may they
be changed by the POWER of CHRIST to repent of that wicked evil deed
they did to you.......
LET us forgive as we are forgiven......................and again
phoebe ann is right.................it is them.

 

[Bluerose31]

phoebe ann....................is right on............
but I say let us pray their forgivness , and may they
be changed by the POWER of CHRIST to repent of that wicked evil deed
they did to you.......
LET us forgive as we are forgiven......................and again
phoebe ann is right.................it is them.

Thank you

 

[Pilgrim]

God bless you and keep you.

 

[frienden thalord]

Thank you

Blue rose................you are loved.................and be blessed of the LORD
and let us sing praises unto HIM..............

 

[Bluerose31]

Blue rose................you are loved.................and be blessed of the LORD
and let us sing praises unto HIM..............

Thank you

 

[Fish and Bread]

Mark 7:15 (NRSV)

14 Then he called the crowd again and said to them, “Listen to me, all of you, and understand: 15 there is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile.”

Things that are done to you without your consent are not your fault in any way. You're a blameless victim, and it is those who have victimized you who have sinned, not you. I know sometimes that can be hard to maybe internalize at an emotional level, because some subcultures put a lot of emphasis on things like "purity" and whatnot, but Jesus' teachings specifically put aside Jewish purity laws and those kinds of things, and focused on inner disposition and a relationship with God.

A lot of early Christians had horrible things done to them, and then were killed, and they are recognized as Saints to this day by Roman Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, Episcopalians, Anglicans, and some other Christian groups. People pray to and venerate these brave men and women who had others defile their bodies, but who remained in relationship with God.

Good Friday was this past week, a day on which many Christian churches and denominations commemorate Jesus, a blameless victim, suffering things that he did not deserve and were not his fault. The savior of our religion was like you, in a way. He was sinless and had to endure horrible things because of the sin of other people, and so did you- and neither of you are any less good because of that.

I would encourage you, if you have not already done so, to consider getting regular counseling from a psychologist for a while and maybe joining a victim support group. This isn't because there is anything wrong with you- there is nothing wrong with you. This is because you've horrific things done to you that most people would find impossible to cope with on their own. A psychologist or a victim support group can help you understand what happened better and put it in perspective, and a victim support group can show you that you are not alone, and together eventually it may lead to some healing. I am not saying that you will one day look back on events as if nothing happened, but with the right help, you may be able to look back on them and not feel as much pain as you do today.

I will also say that I think a regular secular psychologist and a victim support group might be better than specifically religious ones in this case. I think religious ones should be just as supportive, but in the end a specifically religious psychologist operating out of a church or something is an expert in psychology and not religion, and can get the religious stuff wrong and let that influence the psychology. I would just go to neutral experts who can help you heal psychologically, where they are purely experts in that, their field. And then you can seek healing from God directly and/or through church attendance and scripture and nature and whatnot as a separate thing.

But the thing I want to emphasize, because it's important, is that you are totally blameless. The reason to get help is just the same reason you'd get help if you had cancer- the cancer isn't your fault, but it hurts, so you get a medical doctor to help you with it. Similarly, the psychological trauma here isn't your fault, but it hurts, so you get help from a psychological doctor to help you with it.

Of course, you should do what you want, not what random people on the Internet like me tell you to do. I am just mentioning a few options. You get to decide whether they are good fits for you or not. Everyone is different, and everyone gets to make their own choices, ideally.

One reason the crime of rape is so horrible is because the perpetrators are taking the free will away from their victims to say no. So, I think it's especially important here to emphasize that you do have a choice now about what you do or don't do, and that I am not telling you what to do- just offering advice, which you are free to reject. It is your life, and you have it back now, and what those people did to you is their sin, not yours. You have done nothing wrong.

 

[Bluerose31]

Mark 7:15 (NRSV)

14 Then he called the crowd again and said to them, “Listen to me, all of you, and understand: 15 there is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile.”

Things that are done to you without your consent are not your fault in any way. You're a blameless victim, and it is those who have victimized you who have sinned, not you. I know sometimes that can be hard to maybe internalize at an emotional level, because some subcultures put a lot of emphasis on things like "purity" and whatnot, but Jesus' teachings specifically put aside Jewish purity laws and those kinds of things, and focused on inner disposition and a relationship with God.

A lot of early Christians had horrible things done to them, and then were killed, and they are recognized as Saints to this day by Roman Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, Episcopalians, Anglicans, and some other Christian groups. People pray to and venerate these brave men and women who had others defile their bodies, but who remained in relationship with God.

Good Friday was this past week, a day on which many Christian churches and denominations commemorate Jesus, a blameless victim, suffering things that he did not deserve and were not his fault. The savior of our religion was like you, in a way. He was sinless and had to endure horrible things because of the sin of other people, and so did you- and neither of you are any less good because of that.

I would encourage you, if you have not already done so, to consider getting regular counseling from a psychologist for a while and maybe joining a victim support group. This isn't because there is anything wrong with you- there is nothing wrong with you. This is because you've horrific things done to you that most people would find impossible to cope with on their own. A psychologist or a victim support group can help you understand what happened better and put it in perspective, and a victim support group can show you that you are not alone, and together eventually it may lead to some healing. I am not saying that you will one day look back on events as if nothing happened, but with the right help, you may be able to look back on them and not feel as much pain as you do today.

I will also say that I think a regular secular psychologist and a victim support group might be better than specifically religious ones in this case. I think religious ones should be just as supportive, but in the end a specifically religious psychologist operating out of a church or something is an expert in psychology and not religion, and can get the religious stuff wrong and let that influence the psychology. I would just go to neutral experts who can help you heal psychologically, where they are purely experts in that, their field. And then you can seek healing from God directly and/or through church attendance and scripture and nature and whatnot as a separate thing.

But the thing I want to emphasize, because it's important, is that you are totally blameless. The reason to get help is just the same reason you'd get help if you had cancer- the cancer isn't your fault, but it hurts, so you get a medical doctor to help you with it. Similarly, the psychological trauma here isn't your fault, but it hurts, so you get help from a psychological doctor to help you with it.

Of course, you should do what you want, not what random people on the Internet like me tell you to do. I am just mentioning a few options. You get to decide whether they are good fits for you or not. Everyone is different, and everyone gets to make their own choices, ideally.

One reason the crime of rape is so horrible is because the perpetrators are taking the free will away from their victims to say no. So, I think it's especially important here to emphasize that you do have a choice now about what you do or don't do, and that I am not telling you what to do- just offering advice, which you are free to reject. It is your life, and you have it back now, and what those people did to you is their sin, not yours. You have done nothing wrong.

Thank you for this message. God Bless you.

 

[Dave-W]

Blue - my wife was molested multiple times as a grade school girl by a teen age relative. I understand the scars that can leave.

My prayer is for you to be completely healed and RESTORED (they are not the same) from this terrible situation.

 

[He'sgoturback]

I was not a part of the sex industry but I was forced to have sex with people I did not know when I was kidnapped. I still feel bad about it. I feel like I will never be cleaned and whole. It was a woman and two men. I was raped. Reading over writings in this forum helps me alot as I see other women and men have suffered what I have.

I am so sorry you had to endure such evil behavior from these dysfunctional people. You are that much stronger and a survivor. You stand tall. God is bigger than the evil they put you through. I pray that they get convicted and repent of what they did. You can let this go and turn it over to God. Give your feelings, anger, shame, etc. All to Him.

BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.

 

[makeajoyfulnoise100]

As someone who's been raped too and know that it was the most physical, emotional, and mental pain I ever went through there is also a peace in forgiving the rapist. NOT CONDONING that behavior, but forgiving them by trying to understand why. My rapist is out of my life praise to God, but at the same time, I hope he is not raping anyone and hopefully has come to know God. I feel God's justice is more important than me feeling it on my own.

 

[Bluerose31]

As someone who's been raped too and know that it was the most physical, emotional, and mental pain I ever went through there is also a peace in forgiving the rapist. NOT CONDONING that behavior, but forgiving them by trying to understand why. My rapist is out of my life praise to God, but at the same time, I hope he is not raping anyone and hopefully has come to know God. I feel God's justice is more important than me feeling it on my own.

I am very sorry you were raped too. I am trying to forgive my torturers. It is not easy but I know that it will free my heart. Thank you for sharing.

 

[makeajoyfulnoise100]

I am very sorry you were raped too. I am trying to forgive my torturers. It is not easy but I know that it will free my heart. Thank you for sharing.

I would assume it's not at all, but one of the things I realized with my Christian walk is that satan/lucifer corrupts so many and has destroyed Earth to the bitter end. If you want to curse and have hatred only hate the demon that satan is. Hating people is pointless and only leads to more hate and thus satan wins. But love, God's truest nature endures forever. Corinthians 1:13 explains what love is. Thank God and for giving us this. I don't know what translation you use of the Bible, but I suggest meditating/praying and learning how to love people unconditionally. Believe me, I'm trying to learn as well. It's hard, but it's a journey worth pursuing.
Thank you for sharing your story! I hope and pray you find peace and compassion.

 

[Bluerose31]

I would assume it's not at all, but one of the things I realized with my Christian walk is that satan/lucifer corrupts so many and has destroyed Earth to the bitter end. If you want to curse and have hatred only hate the demon that satan is. Hating people is pointless and only leads to more hate and thus satan wins. But love, God's truest nature endures forever. Corinthians 1:13 explains what love is. Thank God and for giving us this. I don't know what translation you use of the Bible, but I suggest meditating/praying and learning how to love people unconditionally. Believe me, I'm trying to learn as well. It's hard, but it's a journey worth pursuing.
Thank you for sharing your story! I hope and pray you find peace and compassion.

Thank you so much for your words

 

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

I'm a psych major, looking into counseling as a possible future career, so I have a bit of education that could help in this regard. There's been much research into the various tactics used to fight trauma, and the results are...inconclusive. There doesn't seem to be any one method to help anybody through trauma, although the words of the others on this thread seem to be tremendously helpful, God bless them. My advice is to try, among other things, exercising. It sounds kind of strange, but as more studies are being done (both statistically & on brain chemicals), exercise seems to be a universal way to help people feel better. Working out in particular, from my experience, is good, because of the sense of accomplishment as you see the amount you can lift and run increase as you put more effort in.
Definitely diversify your lifestyle. Variety is an absolutely essential, but often overlooked, component in mental health. Buy and instrument, and try to learn it. Get a notebook and start drawing or writing. Work out, learn a sport, start doing something that you can keep coming back to. It gets you a better sense of accomplishment, something else to think about, and when you dedicate it all to God, you'll see new ways that He's working His holy will through you. I've been lucky enough to have never been involved in nonconsentual sex or kidnappings, but I have been through depression, near-suicide, schizophrenia, narcisism, and other ailments of the mind, and I can tell you that doing all this has helped immensly in every aspect of my life. Your religion is especially important in maintaining your mental health, and I am so happy for you that despite all that has been done to you, you're still hanging onto your faith in God. (Not trying to hang on--you ARE hanging on to your faith!) The fact that you're posting on this forum says an immense amount about your faith in God, whether you realize it or not. You're exposing more of your life than you'd like to, to strangers, all because you truly believe that God will work through those of us on this forum to heal you from your past. You may have forgotten this, but all your posts are because you trust in God. You could've kept quiet, not posted anything, and let Satan do his works in you, but instead you opened up on Christian forums, and opened a doorway for God to take care of you.
Thank you for your post, Luin, Christian Flower.
"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8)
I'm praying for you, don't worry, God won't let you down.
And you're going to make one hell of a success story when you make it through all this with the peace and the love of the Lord Jesus Christ in your heart!

 

[Bluerose31]

I'm a psych major, looking into counseling as a possible future career, so I have a bit of education that could help in this regard. There's been much research into the various tactics used to fight trauma, and the results are...inconclusive. There doesn't seem to be any one method to help anybody through trauma, although the words of the others on this thread seem to be tremendously helpful, God bless them. My advice is to try, among other things, exercising. It sounds kind of strange, but as more studies are being done (both statistically & on brain chemicals), exercise seems to be a universal way to help people feel better. Working out in particular, from my experience, is good, because of the sense of accomplishment as you see the amount you can lift and run increase as you put more effort in.
Definitely diversify your lifestyle. Variety is an absolutely essential, but often overlooked, component in mental health. Buy and instrument, and try to learn it. Get a notebook and start drawing or writing. Work out, learn a sport, start doing something that you can keep coming back to. It gets you a better sense of accomplishment, something else to think about, and when you dedicate it all to God, you'll see new ways that He's working His holy will through you. I've been lucky enough to have never been involved in nonconsentual sex or kidnappings, but I have been through depression, near-suicide, schizophrenia, narcisism, and other ailments of the mind, and I can tell you that doing all this has helped immensly in every aspect of my life. Your religion is especially important in maintaining your mental health, and I am so happy for you that despite all that has been done to you, you're still hanging onto your faith in God. (Not trying to hang on--you ARE hanging on to your faith!) The fact that you're posting on this forum says an immense amount about your faith in God, whether you realize it or not. You're exposing more of your life than you'd like to, to strangers, all because you truly believe that God will work through those of us on this forum to heal you from your past. You may have forgotten this, but all your posts are because you trust in God. You could've kept quiet, not posted anything, and let Satan do his works in you, but instead you opened up on Christian forums, and opened a doorway for God to take care of you.
Thank you for your post, Luin, Christian Flower.
"Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8)
I'm praying for you, don't worry, God won't let you down.
And you're going to make one hell of a success story when you make it through all this with the peace and the love of the Lord Jesus Christ in your heart!

Thank you so much for this message, it made my day I agree that exercising does help a lot. I take a walk everyday and that helps my spirit a lot. I also write stories, which helps me. Thank you for saying that I have put my trust in God by making posts here on Christian Forums. Christian forums has helped me a lot and it is a blessing to be here. That is wonderful that you are looking into counseling as a possible future career. I can tell you will be a wonderful counselor.
-Luin