First Christian Relationship Failed

Samuel Acosta

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Hi I am looking for advice and clarity regarding a disappointing relationship I had with a girl that failed. I am 23 and she is 20, we met at church.

When I first met this girl I immediately showed interest in her because I knew I liked her. She didnt reciprocate at first and we didnt start actually talking and dating until months later. When we did start talking and hanging out a lot it was very obvious we had chemistry and only eyes for eachother. There were tons of coincidences of wearing matching clothing, saying the same things at the same times, having similar hobbies and music taste that all seemed to be coincidental and ordained by God. We started "dating" and she quickly said after a couple days she heard God say no, and to wait, and therefore we should just be friends.

I said ok and respected her relationship with God, but we kept seeing each other...and we started dating again, and this time it was for real. We talked about being intentional about marriage, she brought up children and life plans. We dated for about 3 months total, spending a lot of time with one another, all of which was littered with constant affirmations about my body, personality, and relationship with God from head to toe, literally everything she liked about me and commented on. It was so much that in my head I was thinking wow this girl must really like me and be serious about the relationship which was indicative for me to keep going. Seriously everything seemed to be so ordained by the Lord I was so sure of it.

We did sexual things a handful of times. No penetration, no taking of virginity but sexual things a handful of times mostly based out of opportunity. Then she started taking birth control and accutane on a Monday, and by Thursday she said she wanted a break, a week later she said she wanted to break up. I personally believe that both of those medication she is taking have a lot to do with altering her brain chemistry and her attraction for me. You can read all about the effects those two medications have n peoples relationships dont take my word for it.

However when we broke up she said she couldnt see her love growing for me anymore than what it already was and she couldnt see it lasting long, that it wasnt the right fit for her. This was a day after she said she loves me for the first time, which is pretty weird right?

Since then she says shes been happier than she ever has been in a while but truthfully she seems like shes having mood swings. I know because I see her like 1-2 a week at church.

Why did God seem to bring us together so deliberately only to have us break up out of nowhere and cause pain in our hearts? Are we being disciplined for being sexual with one another? Do you think its the medication? Do you think she likes another dude? Maybe she is scared of her love for me and how fast and serious everything got so quickly?

I'm seriously just sitting here scratching my head wondering why God would have this happen. It makes me really angry, He gave me a girl I thought I could see myself in the future with, who has all the traits I value in a traditional relationship, only to violently rip her away from me with no communication or friendship or anything of the sort. I am seriously so angry with God, please offer feedback
 
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Welcome to the forums, sorry for your heartache, advise to not blame God for what other people do, sage advice, a keeper from my mother. Also you both should abstain from fornication, wait for both of you to be ready for a lifelong commitment and relationship with one another.

On the other note, almost TMI for me, especially so early in a posting career. I doubt you noticed, but when I read "handful" in the context, I almost burst out in laughter, but refrained.
 
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seeking.IAM

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She changed her mind and you blame God? Come now.

We have all crashed and burned sometime in our lives. Some of us have experienced being grateful later that someone rejected us so we could meet the love of our life later. Life is funny that way sometimes.

Maybe she is still trying to figure things out and will come back around. Maybe she won't. But lighten up on God; Have you seen the mess the world is in? I suspect he's a bit busier with other things than to be playing match maker.

Prayers for you, my friend. Being rejected always hurts.
 
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SkyWriting

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Hi I am looking for advice and clarity regarding a disappointing relationship I had with a girl that failed. I am 23 and she is 20, we met at church.

When I first met this girl I immediately showed interest in her because I knew I liked her. She didnt reciprocate at first and we didnt start actually talking and dating until months later. When we did start talking and hanging out a lot it was very obvious we had chemistry and only eyes for eachother. There were tons of coincidences of wearing matching clothing, saying the same things at the same times, having similar hobbies and music taste that all seemed to be coincidental and ordained by God. We started "dating" and she quickly said after a couple days she heard God say no, and to wait, and therefore we should just be friends.

I said ok and respected her relationship with God, but we kept seeing each other...and we started dating again, and this time it was for real. We talked about being intentional about marriage, she brought up children and life plans. We dated for about 3 months total, spending a lot of time with one another, all of which was littered with constant affirmations about my body, personality, and relationship with God from head to toe, literally everything she liked about me and commented on. It was so much that in my head I was thinking wow this girl must really like me and be serious about the relationship which was indicative for me to keep going. Seriously everything seemed to be so ordained by the Lord I was so sure of it.

We did sexual things a handful of times. No penetration, no taking of virginity but sexual things a handful of times mostly based out of opportunity. Then she started taking birth control and accutane on a Monday, and by Thursday she said she wanted a break, a week later she said she wanted to break up. I personally believe that both of those medication she is taking have a lot to do with altering her brain chemistry and her attraction for me. You can read all about the effects those two medications have n peoples relationships dont take my word for it.

However when we broke up she said she couldnt see her love growing for me anymore than what it already was and she couldnt see it lasting long, that it wasnt the right fit for her. This was a day after she said she loves me for the first time, which is pretty weird right?

Since then she says shes been happier than she ever has been in a while but truthfully she seems like shes having mood swings. I know because I see her like 1-2 a week at church.

Why did God seem to bring us together so deliberately only to have us break up out of nowhere and cause pain in our hearts? Are we being disciplined for being sexual with one another? Do you think its the medication? Do you think she likes another dude? Maybe she is scared of her love for me and how fast and serious everything got so quickly?

I'm seriously just sitting here scratching my head wondering why God would have this happen. It makes me really angry, He gave me a girl I thought I could see myself in the future with, who has all the traits I value in a traditional relationship, only to violently rip her away from me with no communication or friendship or anything of the sort. I am seriously so angry with God, please offer feedback

I don't believe any of your story. Perhaps others will.
 
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