Finding Self Worth in God Alone

[rachelcatherine]

Hey,
I'm a teenage girl (turning 16 soon) and have been a Christian all my life, but lately I've been struggling with self worth. Heaps of my friends are either getting Christian boyfriends or having guys show interest in them, but no guy has ever shown interest in me. Sometimes I wonder (it sounds stupid) if there is anything wrong with me. I spend so long imagining the guy God has for me, and what he will be like, etc.
Sometimes I wish he was in my life now, pursuing me, but if I was even asked out I would say no anyway because I don't need to date until I'm actually thinking about marriage.
I think this is because I'm looking for someone to affirm my strengths and to love me for who I am, love me heaps, and I know God's there and that he loves my incomprehensively, but I guess I just don't feel that love.
Is there anyone else my age who struggles with this/has struggled with this in the past? I'm a happy girl who loves God with all my heart, and I know that should be enough, but sometimes I worry about the future and that I'll never find anyone to marry. Maybe God's just waiting until I can be content with Him to bring alone that guy... (there I go again -_-). Please help!

 

[Gerald3199]

I can assure you that you there is no need for you to be worried and upset. You're 16! There's loaaddss of time ahead of you!

I'm the same age as you, and have never dated any girl. I have had friends who have dated before. And it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'm not worried about whether I have a wife in the future, because I know that it's an issue I can leave for the future, and I trust God to simply direct me in my life, having surrendered all that I have to Jesus.

So my personal advice would be simply to not worry about it; give over this problem to God, because he loves you just the way you are. Ask him to take this burden of your shoulder, so that it won't be a problem that consistently haunts you. You don't need to feel bad about yourself and your abilities just because you don't have a boyfriend at this stage. God still created you to be a beautiful creature. I think a lot of guys will find you very pretty and attractive in the future Besides, having a boyfriend shouldn't be the main priority in your life. As well as your grades, you need to continue to build your spiritual life by gaining a deeper understanding of God's word.

You should talk to your parents, your good friends or your church leaders for advice. It should be able to resolve any issues you have. Also, God could be deliberately using this situation to teach you a lesson, or give you a message. Whatever it is, whether you have a boyfriend or not, God still sees you as his beloved daughter. You must remember that. And don't fret over the possible man in your life, but give yourself over to God and let him bless you.

I won't pretend to know all about your problem but I will still pray for you!

 

[rachelcatherine]

I can assure you that you there is no need for you to be worried and upset. You're 16! There's loaaddss of time ahead of you!

I'm the same age as you, and have never dated any girl. I have had friends who have dated before. And it doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'm not worried about whether I have a wife in the future, because I know that it's an issue I can leave for the future, and I trust God to simply direct me in my life, having surrendered all that I have to Jesus.

So my personal advice would be simply to not worry about it; give over this problem to God, because he loves you just the way you are. Ask him to take this burden of your shoulder, so that it won't be a problem that consistently haunts you. You don't need to feel bad about yourself and your abilities just because you don't have a boyfriend at this stage. God still created you to be a beautiful creature. I think a lot of guys will find you very pretty and attractive in the future Besides, having a boyfriend shouldn't be the main priority in your life. As well as your grades, you need to continue to build your spiritual life by gaining a deeper understanding of God's word.

You should talk to your parents, your good friends or your church leaders for advice. It should be able to resolve any issues you have. Also, God could be deliberately using this situation to teach you a lesson, or give you a message. Whatever it is, whether you have a boyfriend or not, God still sees you as his beloved daughter. You must remember that. And don't fret over the possible man in your life, but give yourself over to God and let him bless you.

I won't pretend to know all about your problem but I will still pray for you!

Thank you, your testimony helps. I've tried so hard to do as you say, and I want to submit my future entirely to God's will as I have my heart, but sometimes I wonder if what he has in store for me is comfortable and a good life, me being well off (of course, me being a teenage girl, a human and selfish, this is what I want). I think the main reason I worry about these things is because I think God is calling me to a life out of my control: This sounds weird, but I feel like since I was 12 he's been calling me to a selfless life on the mission field, fully relying on Him for everything and sharing the love of God. He has placed inside my heart an indescribable love of reaching out, but along with that comes fear of what the future holds and whether I'll be able to live in His will. (I've never really told anyone about this before - I kind of hoped it wasn't real but every day I think about my future it seems more and more real)
I also think I'm struggling with my self esteem because of some things that have been said to me and have happened to me, so I guess that's why my selfish self longs for someone, even just a best friend (all of my Christian friends have kind of become best friends in pairs and threes, we are all friends, but none of them I would tell all of this to) to talk to and encourage and be equally appreciated. Jesus is my best friend at the moment, and I hope it stays this way always. I guess it took all of this (everything that has happened lately) to realise that he's always there for me.
Thanks everyone for praying God bless

 

[Verdure]

Hi, I'm eighteen, and I've thought about boys, too, but I'm pretty content with the relationships I have now. Try to strengthen relationships with family, friends, and church members - I think that might help self-confidence and self-assurance, knowing that you are loved by all those people. Strengthening a relationship is easier said than done, I know! Maybe try to form a mentorship relationship with an adult, too.

Also, it's hard for appearance to not factor in at all, and I know this sounds cliche, but if a guy is not interested in a girl because of her appearance - if he doesn't want to look past that - then maybe that's not the best relationship to have. In the beginning of 1 Peter 3, Peter encourages wives to focus on their inner character, and encourages husbands to respect their wives - this part of 1 Peter 3 seems to emphasize the importance of man and wife being spiritual partners. His words could be applied to regular interaction between males and females, I think. Peter saw firsthand how Jesus loved and treated other people, and he emphasizes Jesus's loving character throughout. (I'm not implying that appearance has anything to do with your situation, but I wasn't sure if that's part of what you're worried about.) God has a plan for you, don't worry. The most important relationship is the relationship with God, and as you get closer to Him (through trusting in Him more and more, reading his Word more, resting in and talking to Him), I think that you will become more 'sensitive' to what His will is for you.

I hope this helped at least a little. I'll be praying for you!