Feeling weary with unanswered prayer

[angeltrue]

There's an entire book in the Bible about having horrendous trouble about life's circumstances, it's Job. He expresses a similar idea about going to sleep and not waking up, in his case he goes a step further. His idea is about never being born in the first place Job 3:3.

Here's the thing, we don't fully know what's going on in the heavenly realm. Unfortunately we live during a time where humanity (religious and secular) promotes the idea we have the answers to life and we go along expecting we can solve each and every problem on our time schedule James 5:11.

I have wished I had never been born. I haven't read Job through - it always turned me off because I felt God dealt harshly with Job.

 

[StillGods]

Or perhaps God knew that Job wouldnt bail on Him so He said to the devil 'consider my servant Job' knowing Job had the faith to get through it.
I remember one year i had a good friend die and was made redundant the day after her funeral and some other stuff. I was asking why out loud and my sister said God must think you are strong.
I am not strong but God is faithful in all circumstances.
Its all perspective.

 

[angeltrue]

I know how you feel. I would go as far as to say my life is cursed. People tell me its not true but my whole life (except a few brief periods) is a stronger testimony than someone who has not suffered any more than minor problems telling me it is not true.

My dad was violent and verbally abusive. I was the youngest of 3 brothers and got beaten up by my older brothers as well (one has since committed suicide as a result of the abuse he received). As I got older I developed health issues. I became a Christian over 20 years ago and had a year or two where I felt blessed and had some miracles in my life, then it seemed to dry up. My whole life has seen nearly every opportunity to prosper and improve my life hindered by the level of spiritual attack I have never seen in anyone else. Its included health issues, personal attacks - mainly lies, being discriminated against (I'm a white male and have been told several times I wasnt given a job despite being the best candidate so they could "positively" discriminate and give it to a woman), I've had my job changed and been moved as a result of company restructures about 10 times and every time been given a choice of working in a job I didnt want to do for managers with incredibly bad reputations (bullies, incompetent, etc) resulting in stress and mental health issues from the environment I was moved to. I cant have most medications due to rare allergies so always end up untreated. Doctors have given up on me. All this has been regularly over the whole of my life and I doubt I have ever gone much more than a year without a major issue against me like having my job changed, being bullied, being told I wouldnt get promoted despite being the best for the job (that really affects your self belief), both before and since becoming a Christian. This is on top of what I would consider normal issues I see other people go through.

I've tried repenting of every sin I can think of and any I am unaware of. I tried pleading with God, commanding His authority over my life, submitting, overcoming and everything in between. Nothing seems to work. Ive preached the gospel to the lost, done good works for the Lord (not in self righteousness), given until it hurts, served god, served the church and prophesied (including God telling me to pray for a church that didnt exist and then a couple of months after I started praying into it people started to feel called into setting it up and I now go there). I consider myself humble (any pride I may have had has certainly been beaten out of me by this life), I have no strength left in myself and have to trust in God for any strength I have. But still I struggle in this world and everything goes against me. The last real miracles I can recall in my life was 1999/2000 when I was delivered from smoking and had some miraculous healing.

Ive also had some major problems with pastors. One in particular turned on me suddenly and really hurt and damaged me. This was after I supported him during a church split and I was one of his strongest backers and had previously been good friends. As soon as I was no longer needed he became extremely abusive and I later found out to others as well. After he was sacked the new pastor wouldnt give me any time and pushed me out of a number of ministries I was involved with at church. I had an opportunity to take redundancy from work and wanted to go to bible college but he locked it, by his own admission because it was his church and he didnt want anyone else in his church training to be a minister which he was worried would lead to them undermining him. Instead I went self employed and ended up being ripped off by someone who was supposed to help me build my business so now have no income and little money left.

This is not like Job who was blessed, then was allowed to be tormented for a while and then received blessing again, this is lifelong suffering. The longer I seem to go with nothing major happening, the worse it seems to be when it does. For example a new manager coming in who is a bully or being moved to a job I hated and having to try to find one I like better which is harder when you are really unhappy/depressed with where you are every day. It soon feels like as soon as you get your head above water you are dragged down again.

Even this morning before reading this I was thinking about promises I genuinely believe were from God to give me a double portion of blessing which have over the years been prayed over me multiple times by numerous people. It has been prayed that I will receive spiritual blessing, financial blessing and just about every type of blessing. This has come from all sorts of people, internationally renowned speakers (at least 3 or 4) and many pastors and ministry teams at various churches and conferences, probably 20-30 (maybe more) people in total over the years all saying the same thing and most not knowing me.

I look forward to nothing in this life now and just want to get to heaven. Most Christians I know would be fearful of the tribulation, I would welcome it as it would mean the end is close. Not waking up tomorrow would be a blessing for me and something I only dont want to happen now as my kids are a bit too young, but give it a few more years.

I just have to hold on to the words spoken over me that when I receive my blessing it will make all of the suffering worth it. That and the scripture that I have on my heart is the rich man and Lazarus. In particular Luke 16:25. If this is true for all of us, which I believe it is, I will have such great blessing heaven that you should all be jealous of me.

Wow - you also are a deeply exercised saint too. I could have written what you did, except my trials were of a different sort but still worse than most others. It hurts. The only thing I could think is that satan is trying to block some work I'm supposed to do. Did you ever think that? My husband was the one who said it. But who knows. We've had trouble with pastors too. The one church we attended was snooty and I felt they looked down on our family because we weren't generational Christians. Another church was off - the pastors expected obedience, saying that God put them in that role. I was an attractive woman and one of the church leaders used to want to give me "Christian hugs" that I don't believe were Christian. My husband was an immature believer and insisted we attend this loosey goose church where the family who owned it were criminals. I've seen a lot of hypocrisy.

So you've been deeply betrayed as well by "mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted..." psalms. I too have been deeply, deeply betrayed by those I've trusted - Christians - and in the worst way possible; I could not even repeat it here.

I lived through serious shocks and then was injured and am now basically disabled. My children urged me to write and I completed a novel which I'm getting ready to submit for publication. It helped to fill the long days but I look at others who have prospered and a Christian who was so jealous of the fact that I worked hard on my family and achieved a measure of success that she did the most vile betrayal one could live through. She's truly evil and yet quotes scripture and seems respectable. God never punished her to my knowledge and her sin has caused unbearable sorrow that never lets up.

So now I'm in a seeming holding pattern. Nothing gets better, yet I get blow after blow after blow after blow - and now with horrendous physical problems from an injury. Sometimes I tell God He's sick. I don't feel guilty, it's the truth.

I think I'm working through a Job situation and not doing so well.

 

[Norbert L]

I have wished I had never been born. I haven't read Job through - it always turned me off because I felt God dealt harshly with Job.

When Job had his end response, what changed in his mind that led him to a different conclusion was,
"My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you" Job 42:5

I believe one lesson of the book is that since Job managed to endure his miserable circumstances, he understood God much better and accepted that God was actually right and he had been wrong Job 42:6. Basically there are things Christians can't learn by reading and reciting the Bible. Personally I don't like the school of hard knocks either, but I am convinced about Jeremiah 29:11.

 

[angeltrue]

When Job had his end response, what changed in his mind that led him to a different conclusion was,
"My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you" Job 42:5

I believe one lesson of the book is that since Job managed to endure his miserable circumstances, he understood God much better and accepted that God was actually right and he had been wrong Job 42:6. Basically there are things Christians can't learn by reading and reciting the Bible. Personally I don't like the school of hard knocks either, but I am convinced about Jeremiah 29:11.

I don't like the school of hard knocks either. I just don't understand what God is doing and I'm weary. There is no comfort anywhere. I'll read psalms again and often read Habukuk but sometimes it rings hollow and I can't even sit and read it. Like my urge to throw the bible out the window - it seems empty. But I know what I've experienced but also that God let me down. I just don't know the path out.

 

[Cheylynn]

I read it. My candle towards God is burning low. I'm trying to find a way out of a dry time.

Dry times indicate our need to fill up with God through Jesus. Our flame will grow strong as we do this. We spend too much time, thought and energy on our own little worlds and then end up getting consumed by them into the pit called depression. We are to be about our Fathers business, not our own stuff. He controls good and evil, you need only to read Job. God takes care of the evil and defends us as we submit to Him. You want God to come down to where you are, He wants you to come where He is.

 

[GirdYourLoins]

I don't like the school of hard knocks either. I just don't understand what God is doing and I'm weary. There is no comfort anywhere. I'll read psalms again and often read Habukuk but sometimes it rings hollow and I can't even sit and read it. Like my urge to throw the bible out the window - it seems empty. But I know what I've experienced but also that God let me down. I just don't know the path out.

I know how you feel. I have probably tried everything that any Christian has ever said to do in a situation like this but nothing changes.

Wow - you also are a deeply exercised saint too. I could have written what you did, except my trials were of a different sort but still worse than most others. It hurts. The only thing I could think is that satan is trying to block some work I'm supposed to do. Did you ever think that? My husband was the one who said it. But who knows. We've had trouble with pastors too. The one church we attended was snooty and I felt they looked down on our family because we weren't generational Christians. Another church was off - the pastors expected obedience, saying that God put them in that role. I was an attractive woman and one of the church leaders used to want to give me "Christian hugs" that I don't believe were Christian. My husband was an immature believer and insisted we attend this loosey goose church where the family who owned it were criminals. I've seen a lot of hypocrisy.

So you've been deeply betrayed as well by "mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted..." psalms. I too have been deeply, deeply betrayed by those I've trusted - Christians - and in the worst way possible; I could not even repeat it here.

I lived through serious shocks and then was injured and am now basically disabled. My children urged me to write and I completed a novel which I'm getting ready to submit for publication. It helped to fill the long days but I look at others who have prospered and a Christian who was so jealous of the fact that I worked hard on my family and achieved a measure of success that she did the most vile betrayal one could live through. She's truly evil and yet quotes scripture and seems respectable. God never punished her to my knowledge and her sin has caused unbearable sorrow that never lets up.

So now I'm in a seeming holding pattern. Nothing gets better, yet I get blow after blow after blow after blow - and now with horrendous physical problems from an injury. Sometimes I tell God He's sick. I don't feel guilty, it's the truth.

I think I'm working through a Job situation and not doing so well.

I cannot find any reason for the things that constantly happen to me, its been my whole life Maybe it is Satan, but surely God could stop him if He had a plan for my life. Ive tried doing everything and nothing. No change. The only thing I can come up with to explain it is my dad hated God. The Bible says that god will curse anyone to the third generation who hates Him. And yes I know all the teaching and scriptures people say proves this doesnt apply to Christians, but there is nothing else that even comes close to explaining it or why God allows it. The latest being at the end of last week I had to report my neighbours to the police as they have been hacking my wifi for a while and have now started banking fraud. I'm so used to it now its just another thing and nothing major for me, Ive had far worse.

 

[angeltrue]

Its all perspective in some ways.
God gave you a husband and children. I assume you have food to eat and roof over your head.
I prayed for a husband never got one so i could not pray for children much as i would have wanted children in a marriage relationship. I prayed every night for many years as a child for God to heal me but i was never healed. I still believe God is good because He is. I still believe God answers prayers because He does. I still believe God heals but i learnt way more by not being healed.
I have had my moments but by His Grace and mercy i still believe in God. He intervened in other ways in my life ways that mattered the most.
Yay though He slay me yet i will praise Him.
Though there is no fruit on the vine i will still praise Him.
Do we accept only good from the hand of God not the bad? If so how shallow is our faith. If we believe only when God gives us want we want how shallow is our faith.
The Lord gives and takes away blessed be the Name of the Lord.

Have you ever thought of adopting? There are children who are in bad foster homes and your love would go far towards helping them. One of our neighbors had sponsored a foster girl and she was made to do all their housework - basically used her as a slave. I felt so sorry for her, as she had been molested in one of the other foster homes supposedly. Maybe that is your calling - you'd have more children than heart could wish.

 

[angeltrue]

Dry times indicate our need to fill up with God through Jesus. Our flame will grow strong as we do this. We spend too much time, thought and energy on our own little worlds and then end up getting consumed by them into the pit called depression. We are to be about our Fathers business, not our own stuff. He controls good and evil, you need only to read Job. God takes care of the evil and defends us as we submit to Him. You want God to come down to where you are, He wants you to come where He is.

Yes I read the bible but just a little before I put it down because it seems meaningless at times. I spoke with a lawyer who had handled priest sex abuse cases and he said "there is no God, that's why you're suffering." I prayed for him and tried to tell him why I believed, but really, what do you say to someone who had to listen to the ugly details of something so life-shattering?

These are the hard things in life.

 

[StillGods]

Have you ever thought of adopting? There are children who are in bad foster homes and your love would go far towards helping them. One of our neighbors had sponsored a foster girl and she was made to do all their housework - basically used her as a slave. I felt so sorry for her, as she had been molested in one of the other foster homes supposedly. Maybe that is your calling - you'd have more children than heart could wish.

Of course i thought of this.

 

[gideon123]

OP ... a very honest commentary.

There are times in our lives when we face long-term struggles. There are times when it feels like "God is on the other side of the Universe". It does happen, and your experience is valid.

I really think that you (too) need a small group to support you. I just gave the same advice to another person on this Forum.

I know that you have your husband. But you need a small group that can offer love, encouragement and prayers ... for your concerns. Perhaps ... a Women's Prayer Group?

Can you find this group??? ... it is worth the effort.

Blessings!!

 

[marineimaging]

No I don't ascribe to that - I'm mature in the Lord and know the health and wealth gospel is a farce. This is more long-term, laborious prayer that I've waited for answers to.

My wife and I have prayed for many things which seemed to never come. Then a simple phone call in answer and our lives changed over the next 10 years and can be said to still have compound affects even 20-25 years later. There are so many stories and parables about waiting for God's answers and how He rewarded them even more so that I can't understand how a mature believer (knower of Christ) can even consider anything other than God is working on it for the best outcome. And it might not even be the best outcome. It might just be a survivable outcome. OR it could be God saying No, I will not grant this because it is not in my plans for you. Pick up your security blanket, put your complete trust in me, and step out on faith and let me show you the power I wield as the creator of the Universe. It might be that the answer is to step out and stop waiting. It has been there all along.

 

[dude99]

I am in a kind of similar path and have a list of unanswered prayers. I praying for you.

 

[royal priest]

Yes but I always recoiled from suffering yet suffered I have.

Recoiling is normal, and suffering is too. In fact, suffering is necessary to human earthly existence as the earth is cursed because of sin. Everyone on this forum could produce a litany of affliction we've experienced. Some more than others, but no one escapes it.
Thankfully though, suffering is not a bad thing, rather the Bible says there is much spiritual good for the Christian to be had through suffering. That's something that can give us peace the next time we recoil. Not that we should go looking for affliction. But if submission to God in some area requires suffering, then we can know that God will use it to advance His good, acceptable, and perfect will.
Persevere, sister. God has answered your prayers. They may not be the answers you are looking for, but try to take content in knowing that God is too wise to be mistaken and too good to be unkind. Moreover, He declares the end from the beginning and will not allow any of His purposes for you or your family to be overthrown. Isaiah 46:9-10
Ephesians 3:20-21

 

[GirdYourLoins]

One thing I dont think a lot of people who have replied onhere dont get, but a few have said have similar things, is that this is not like Job. Job was rich and successful, things had gone well for him in life and he had been greatly blessed. Then it was taken away for a short period and he suffered for a time, after which he had wealth and success even more than before.

What we are talking about here is lifelong suffering. I have had people say I suffer far more outside my control happening to me than anyone else they have ever met, some have said at least 10 times the amount. I just typed out the stuff this year and deleted it as it was too long. If I never had a bad thing happen to me again I would still have suffered far more in my life than most people.

Where is the blessing? Why is it that when anything is this life starts going well it soon comes crashing down?

Just to add, I've gone through it and its 13 or 14 times in 20 years of working that my job has been changed or removed and Ive been put in another role, all of which except one have been detrimental to my career. There have also been times I have had my role changed within the same job that I have not included as it was within the job specifications when I took it such as more general customer service to complaint handling (as I was good at it). Is that normal?

 

[tulipbee]

God answered my prayer • he said, " suffer a little while longer til you get it .

 

[aiki]

I haven't had an easy life and was reading Psalms in the car today as my husband drove, and I had the urge to throw my bible out the window because I've been waiting for God to answer prayers and answers just don't come.

Well, what does Scripture say might be the reasons for unanswered prayer?

1. God's answer is "wait." (Hebrews 11:38-39; 1 Peter 5:10)
2. Your sin bars the way between you and God. (Isaiah 59:1-2)
3. Your requests don't align with God's will and priorities. (James 4:3; 1 John 5:14)

I've seen the wicked prosper and yet I've had one thing after another happen like Job and it sometimes makes me wonder why I'm even here.

We exist to know God (Proverbs 9:10; Philippians 3:8-10; 2 Timothy 1:12), and in knowing Him to love Him (Matthew 22:36-38), and in loving Him to glorify Him (1 Corinthians 10:31). This is why you and I exist. Being the self-centered creatures we are, though, it's easy for us to begin to think that we are here for ourselves and that God ought to serve our interests and aims. When God does not oblige, we can become very frustrated and angry with Him. The problem, though, isn't with God but with us.

Have others reached this disappointment with God where you just feel like going to sleep and not waking up? I get sick of God. This may shock some people but God says He wants truth in our inmost being and that's how I feel.

You mentioned Job, who, I suspect, endured more than you have. Consider his words:

Job 40:1-5
1 Moreover the Lord answered Job, and said:
2 "Shall the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him? He who rebukes God, let him answer it."
3 Then Job answered the Lord and said:
4 "Behold, I am vile; What shall I answer You? I lay my hand over my mouth.
5 Once I have spoken, but I will not answer; Yes, twice, but I will proceed no further."

Job 42:1-6
1 Then Job answered the Lord and said:
2 "I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.
3 You asked, 'Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
4 Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, 'I will question you, and you shall answer Me.'
5 "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You.
6 Therefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes."

Part of your problem, it seems, is that God has become entirely too small in your thinking. When you see God as Job finally saw Him, I suspect, like Job, your complaints against Him will cease.

 

[angeltrue]

Of course i thought of this.

I hope you follow through because non-Christians adopt and subject children to bad things - such as our neighbor making a foster girl they sponsored do all the work in the house. They were open about doing it just for the money. It was awful to see.

 

[StillGods]

Did you report your observations to someone?

I hope you follow through because non-Christians adopt and subject children to bad things - such as our neighbor making a foster girl they sponsored do all the work in the house. They were open about doing it just for the money. It was awful to see.

 

[angeltrue]

OP ... a very honest commentary.

There are times in our lives when we face long-term struggles. There are times when it feels like "God is on the other side of the Universe". It does happen, and your experience is valid.

I really think that you (too) need a small group to support you. I just gave the same advice to another person on this Forum.

I know that you have your husband. But you need a small group that can offer love, encouragement and prayers ... for your concerns. Perhaps ... a Women's Prayer Group?

Can you find this group??? ... it is worth the effort.

Blessings!!

Thank you. I'm basically disabled although I can get out once in a while. I do feel better when in a group of believers. Our church has a bible study that I've been trying to make but every time I try to go I'm overwhelmed with the physical issues and I give up and don't go.