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Feeling so alone and uncertain

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by sajamor, Sep 23, 2019.

  1. sajamor

    sajamor New Member

    United Kingdom
    I just feel right now like I've got so much weighing on me and so little time or space to sort it out.

    I've been managing the charity shop I'm officially Assistant Manager at for about ten months now. I interviewed for the shop manager job in April and didn't get it but neither did anybody else so the position was re-advertised. I interviewed for it last week but learnt on Friday I hadn't got it.

    I am still going to be kept on as Assistant Manager, which is good news and especially in light of all the Thomas Cook job losses. However, the contract is only 21 hours a week and even with the Universal Credit I'd be entitled to won't give me full time money.

    So now I'm having to look at full time alternatives and the only ones I've found involve commuting which will make for days whose length I might struggle with. But then part time won't give me enough financial or professional fulfillment unless I can do freelance translation where the money's good but not guaranteed.

    Working from home might also make me feel more isolated than I do already. Working long hours largely alone doesn't put me in contact with many people or opportunities of a relationship.

    I joined an online dating site where most of the contact came from guys who creepy, expecting too much too soon or both. However, one I did get talking to seemed absolutely great - very interesting and interested in me as a person with a lot of common ground.

    Then when we met up last week he looked scruffy and kept talking non stop at me to the point I needed split seconds to drive words in edgeways. At the end he just said "Have a nice evening" without suggesting another date or chatting online later or taking my phone number.

    On one level I was relieved he didn't want things to go further. However, on another I couldn't help feeling rejected, which in a way annoyed me because he really hadn't given me a proper chance to prove myself by monopolising the conversation. Yet in another way it hurt, as did the realisation I would almost certainly have given him a second chance because I'd no other option for a relationship.

    He took himself off the site so I couldn't suggest we did meet up again but with rather better social behaviour on his part. Perhaps that would have just descended into an argument and I know if I'd been his only issue with that site he would have just blocked me. Yet now with my financial insecurity I can't pay to join another site for now and I can't see how I won't be alone for yet another birthday in early November.
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  2. Anguspure

    Anguspure Kaitiaki Peacemakers NZ Supporter

    New Zealand
    Hey Sister, if it helps to know this, I too am experiencing similar things. Feeling, thinking and praying for you.
  3. Ghostjunkie

    Ghostjunkie Member

    United States
    I'm not going to go digging for scripture, but we are taught that we are to keep our eyes on God, and not on man. When you are struggling with what tomorrow will bring--will you find this, will you have that, how am I going to do this, how shall I accomplish that--then you are failing to trust in Jesus. Life can be a tightrope walk, but if you are too scared to put one foot in front of the other, it is because you are staring at your feet; instead feel safe to run, for Jesus is your safety net, and the Holy Spirit your wings.

    The Lord provides, so just focus on loving Him, and worry not about your mortal struggles. You are full of fears and anxieties. Fear is the opposite of love--not hate. God is all. God is love. You cannot have fear in your heart, and love for God at the same time. Jesus is waiting to take all that from you, you only need ask Him and trust in Him.

    I too have serious financial troubles, and am lonely. My search for mortal love has borne no fruits, but I do not lament, for I have the love of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. If I never find a righteous woman, I will know little to no sorrow, for the love of Christ shall never leave me, and will always fill me up. Blessings to you.
  4. JustSomeBloke

    JustSomeBloke Wo-choo-lookin-at?

    United Kingdom
    Are you here to vent your troubles and ask for prayer support, or would you like advice from forum members as well?
  5. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) a social experiment

    United States
    A lot of people have been in similar circumstances. And they've found the best thing for them to do is work on "them" before pursuing a relationship. By the sounds of it, you could probably use some more stability before getting involved with somebody. Are you actively engaging in a regular fellowship with the church? Filling in those time slots that would ordinarily leave you just by yourself will help. It won't completely alleviate the feelings of loneliness 100% of the time. But community will help get your mind off things and onto more constructive thoughts, whether that's studying the Bible or going out and serving others. Good luck.
  6. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    United States
    I think its important to enter relationships when we’re emotionally whole and ready to give of ourselves. If we’re seeking companionship to fill a void or overcome our loneliness we’ll be disappointed. They’ll never fill that space.

    When we operate from a place of lack we make poor decisions that cause injury later on. Our choice of companion should be a reflection of godliness and the character we value most in a partner.

    Imperfections are a part of life. But if they dominate my thoughts or are the first thing I think of when he comes to mind. I must consider whether I value him enough to move forward.

    If he wowed you with his person the things you mentioned would be of no concern. You’d see beyond them and focus on his potential and the other qualities that caught your eye. Giving him a chance because there’s no one else isn’t fair to either. You deserve someone who desires your company and so does he.

    Perhaps the absence will allow you to strengthen your heart and build connections. In the meantime, focus on the Lord and moving beyond your hurt.