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Feeling lost and afraid right now

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by SaDi889, Oct 13, 2019.

  1. SaDi889

    SaDi889 New Member

    United States
    Hey everyone, I’m new here and I’m looking forward to hearing your input if you have any you’d like to offer :). I need a place to spill everything going on right now and I think because you guys believe in God this would be a good place to do so.
    I grew up in a Christian home, parents were Christian, grew up going to Calvary chapel church and I loved it, and I came to realize that growing up in a Christian home didn’t be make me a Christian so I remmeber accepting Jesus as my savior sometime around age 8. But I didn’t understand the significance of having a relationship with Him until early high school years through a friend who was a much stronger Christian than me. We would go to church together, read God’s word together through bible study devotions and I came to understand how I can talk to God as if he’s my best friend, because he is! Our perfect friend, counselor, father, so much more. I have witnessed him do amazing things in my life and others and always was thankful for what he had provided even when I didn’t deserve those things let alone his love. That’s the backstory of my faith, now fast forward to where I am now. I’m 21, just graduated university (in 3 years because it was getting too stressful and expensive) and I’m feeling scared, lost, and hopeless. I know faith is about what we know about God to be true and not what we feel, but I can’t help but think that God doesn’t want to help me. I know that’s probably untrue, I know he is still here with me, but it’s hard to believe. I used to be able to do so much in high school, would sleep late and wake up early and still be able to do well in school and have a social life and do extracurriculars. First year of college was the same too. Then I lost that motivation because university became difficult and as a person who naturally wants to make the most of every opportunity I neglected my health at the expense of trying to do well in school school. It wasn’t terrible but I’d sleep late and wake up early, and due to the high pressure to do well on exams I would start to feel anxious all the time and I lost a lot of weight due to frequent stomachaches from being nervous and stressed. Through this I kept praying to God, reading his word, and acknowledging him and asking him for help but things never seemed to get better. Once I graduated I thought I’d be given the time to rest but my time consisted of dealing with friends who I thought were genuine taking advantage of me (using me for their convenience, not reaching out to me when I needed it even when I was there for them, etc) so that brought me emotional turmoil. But I still treated them well bc that’s what God would want me to do. But to this day, my health hasn’t improved, my friendships have become more distant, and I feel less motivated to spend time with God. I’m afraid I’m losing everything. And I have a ton of loans to pay back from college in a few months. I work part time but cannot work more than 2 hours without feeling physically weak or like I’m going to throw up from nervousness. I get nervous everywher now and even while doing things that didn’t used to make me nervous. I just feel as if God is taking everything away from me that he once blessed me with. I want to work more but I cvant because of my physical condition. And IM only 21 so it scares me. I know God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear but I’ve been so afraid for about two years, nothing seems to get better. I feel like I’m going no where while my friends are already getting professional jobs and meeting new people and getting on with their lives. And some of them scorn God. Yet it’s like he still blesses them. I don’t mean to sound jealous but sometimes it’s really hard to not be sad because I haven’t gotten anything healed or blessed in so long. I understand God causes goodness and rain to fall on all people whether they love God or not but it’s so difficult. I feel like I’m losing everything and the only thing I can do is cry out to God to fix this. But i don’t see any improvements...and I’m so young, youth is supposed to be a happy time but I’ve suffered like this since I was in middle school (it’s just become a lot worse now and I never felt super anxious about much until now) I remember the anxiousness was triggered by an exam in college but I didn’t think an exam could trigger anxiety in most other areas of my life. What’s also worse is that I don’t know what interests me. I chose my college major because I was good at taking classes for that subject but everything available for jobs doesn’t interest me. I have tried to figure out what I like but but to no avail. I’m not talented in anything either. I like piano and can play piano but not well enough to major in it and I have stage fright now (even though I have done many performances throughout college as a part time job, the stage fright increased each time and now it’s so bad I get a bad stomachache every time) so that wouldn’t be a good career for me. I cannot do anything else art related, I can’t sing, I’m not good at numbers, the only thing I enjoy is listening to others and helping them through their problems and I wouldn’t mind being a counselor but that requires more schooling and school makes me anxious now. Plus it requires more money that I do not have at the moment. If you’ve read this far thank you so much. I know God allows suffering to happen for a reason but I feel like this is just constant suffering and I don’t know how to step out of it.
    We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today?
  2. AllDayFaith

    AllDayFaith Member

    United States
    These are all thoughts from the enemy, focus on what's good and holy, like Christ and Heaven. Understand that we suffer now for a little while, until God brings Heaven to Earth. Then He will wipe away every tear and cure every sickness. We will be glorious once again and spend an eternity with God the Father :clap::pray::crossrc::amen:
  3. AllDayFaith

    AllDayFaith Member

    United States
    It may seem that God isn't helping you out, but understand that He sees everything that happens to you and He won't let the enemy go unpunished. We have read the Bible and always expect God to show up in miraculous ways, but what if by going through these tough times we will become stronger people.
  4. timothyu

    timothyu Well-Known Member

    God is not here to serve us. We are here to serve Him.
  5. AllDayFaith

    AllDayFaith Member

    United States
    Have you asked God to reveal any unforgiving in your heart? Maybe you are holding a wrong done against you against that person. We must forgive so that God can forgive us, and keep us healthy.
  6. miggles

    miggles miggles

    United States
    i think that if we were happy all the time it would be Heaven. and this isn't Heaven.
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  7. Melody Suttles

    Melody Suttles SingPeace Supporter

    United States

    Dear Sadi,
    I feel your hurt, and I hate knowing you have so great a weight right now. I know you're pretty anxious and unsure of a lot of things - you have so much on your plate! It is apparent that you are a highly intelligent young woman, and pretty savvy, too - where friends are concerned. It's good to guard your heart sometimes - we all need to do that.

    Take some time for you and just rest for a change. And d
    on't worry about anyone else's problems though it's hard, I know, especially when you care for others.

    Sometimes one needs to take a step back from tension and pressure and reality -- and take care of one precious person - you!

    What you describe --- student debt, wisely finishing school early, the sudden onset of emotions, feeling anxious and as though God has gone stealth submarine silent. I promise He is working a miracle for you.

    I've served with my husband in ministry for 25 years, and I think I have a good idea of what is really happening. The Lord goes silent from time to time - especially if He has a special and important plan for your life. For me, I had to learn to trust him when I never trusted anyone before. I grew in the Lord for a while and then the silent treatment again. It hurt my feelings at first - actually it was like my heart was breaking. I felt no comfort - heard no answers. During these periods of silence I had to do, think and say only what was true about God. I had to learn how to take every thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ - in spite of what I felt. What we feel has nothing to do with what is the Truth.

    God does this to every son and daughter He loves. It's like when I taught my son to walk (31 yrs ago) - I took a couple of steps back but remained close enough so I could catch him if he fell. We did this time and again until he finally walked several steps toward me. I snatched him up in my arms and squealed with delight! By the time he was 17 years old, he was able to run a 40 yard dash in less than 7 seconds - almost as fast as the world record.

    God does the same with us by developing our spiritual and mental strength. Eventually, we find we are running the race to achieve that which has apprehended us!

    The Lord has gone silent on me at least 1 or 2 times a year for a quarter of a century (I needed work). And as long as I am alive, He will continue to work on me.

    Finally, fear/anxiety and confusion do not come from God but from the enemy.

    For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Tim 1:7)

    So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.(James 4:7)

    So try your best to resist thoughts and feelings that steal your peace. Take hold and choose to worship the Lord regardless of how you feel. You will learn so much during this time! I have great confidence that what I have told you is completely true. You are becoming a warrior, a part of a Royal Priesthood, and the tip of the spear!.

    We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Rom 5:3-5)

    You are ahead of the game in so many ways already! The Lord will not let you fail, fall, or be defeated! God bless you. You are dearly loved!

    Here are some scriptures I hope touch your heart.

    "The LORD your God is still in your midst, A victorious warrior He will exult over you with joy, though He will be quiet in His love for a brief moment, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy!" Zephaniah 3:17

    Job: “I cry to you for help and you do not answer me; I stand, and you only look at me.” (Job 30:20)

    King David: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.” (Psalm 22:1–2)

    God is not absent from you though it seems like that in a way. The Lord uses absence in order to heighten our desire. And the more heightened the desire, the greater satisfaction there will be.

    It is the mourning that will know the joy of comfort (Matthew 5:4).

    It is the hungry and thirsty that will be satisfied (Matthew 5:6).

    Longing makes us ask, emptiness makes us seek, silence makes us knock (Luke 11:9).

    The silence is phenomenological. You are not alone. God is with you! (Psalm 23:4).
  8. Isilwen

    Isilwen Member

    United States
    Christian Seeker
    In Relationship
    I really don't have much to say other than welcome to the forums!
  9. Emmylouwho

    Emmylouwho Well-Known Member

    United States
    Christian Seeker
    Relax! As you said, you’re young. You’re going through a phase. You’re trying to figure out your whole life all at once. Your student loans seem to be overwhelming you. Do you live with your parents?
  10. pink318

    pink318 New Member

    United States
    Hello- These are the Bible verses that I meditate on whenever I am going through problems. I read these verses again and again until I experience God's peace that surpasses all understanding.

    “The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time.” (Psalm 34:19)

    “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.

    So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. (1 Peter 1:6-7)

    “I am confident I will see the LORD’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13)

    “So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.” (1 Peter 5:10)

    Sorry you are going through this difficulty, I pray that you will keep believing, stay hopeful and your circumstances will bring you closer to God. Take care of yourself. Please keep us posted.
  11. Ann Provence

    Ann Provence New Member

    United States
    Wow, you have a lot going on. You didn't mention if you have sought any type of medical/professional care. First off (speaking as a nurse), I'd say you need to get a full physical and find out if the source of your tummy aches is physiological. If there's something going on in your body, it can then be dealt with.

    Secondly, you should see a psychologist or counselor to find out what the root is of your anxiety and fear, which has been gradually increasing and taking control of your life. There IS a root cause. Can you think of anything that happened in middle school (since you said that's when it started) to trigger this? Anything that you've tried to bury down deep because it's too painful to face? Anything you need to confess? Are you carrying some type of heavy guilt or shame? It could be any of these things, but maybe not...we all deal with brokenness, and it comes in all different ways, at all different times of life. You can speak with a Christian counselor for free at 855-382-5433 to get you started.

    God in His goodness to us will not let us go through life without healing all the parts of us that are hurting, either from our own poor choices or from something detrimental that happened TO us. He wants to heal you from the deepest part of you all the way outward. Have you been asking Him to reveal to you what He wants you to learn, what He wants you to change/obey, what He wants you to see?

    It sounds like college sort of "woke you up" to the reality of life and being an adult. You don't have the same energy as in high school, and yes, college is WAY harder. In fact, LIFE is hard, so it's good to face that reality and figure out how you're going to cope. You have choices every day to take care of yourself (you said you have been neglecting your health), to work hard, to be with others (time for new friends, it sounds like), to serve (are you going to church? connecting and serving?), and to love....or, to not do those things and then you sink even deeper. The worst thing you can do now is isolate and then become so self-obsessed that you stop functioning. Get reconnected to your church and make new friends! We're not meant to do life alone.

    You are at a vulnerable place, a perfect time for the enemy of your soul to get a foothold and tell you all sorts of lies, some of which you're already falling for. You are doubting God's goodness and whether He wants to help you. You know in your head that it's a lie, but your heart is doubting. Use the word as your sword against the enemy's lies and don't allow him to take you away from the lover of your soul.

    You are also at a very life-changing point in time. You finished school, now you have a lot of debt, and you aren't sure what to do with your life. A lot of college graduates experience this. (I did, too, as I got a degree in French and never used it, and ended up waitressing for years. I regret that I didn't ever consult a school career counselor! I majored in French because I loved it and wanted to speak fluently. But there's not a whole lot one can do with it besides teach, which I didn't want to do.) So in one sense you need to give yourself grace, be patient, and also talk to as many people as possible about your options.

    Do you have parents, friends, a pastor, or a school counselor to whom you can go and lay it all out and ask for help? I'm sure there are people who'd love to come alongside you. If you have pride, drop it now, it won't serve you well at all.

    I recently listened to a sermon in which the pastor said that everything in life is a test. God WILL test our faith--- to see if it's genuine, to reveal blind spots, to make us grow. It sounds like you think God should be blessing you and healing you, and because He isn't giving you what you want, you are doubting Him. Have you ever had the thought that God can do whatever He wants with your life, because He is God and we're not, and because He loves us, He is always doing what's best for us to make us more Christlike. He's not interested in our happiness! He IS interested in our wholeness, whatever it takes. He actually tells us to expect persecution and suffering. So if He really is taking previous blessings away from you, I can promise you He has a purpose and it's all based on His love for you; your job is to trust Him, stay obedient, and pursue growth.

    May the Lord guide you, comfort and restore you, and help you navigate life one step at a time as you trust in Him.
  12. mnorian

    mnorian Oldbie--Eternal Optimist Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador

    Mod hat on
    this thread has been moved from
    Introduce Yourself
    Christian Advice
    for a better fit and responses
    and because IY is only for short greetings.
    Hat off.
  13. Lady O

    Lady O New Member

    United States
    I see that you have received numerous responses so I will be brief.

    I have four children that graduated from high school and I watched them stand on the threshold of facing the uncertainties of their future. Life had been pretty cozy for them up to that point so I understood the growing pains they were forced to endure.

    I have often pondered over all the reasons why God chooses to withhold the future from us, He only asks us to hold His hand on the journey. He is writing your story and I believe some day (maybe even soon) you will tell your own personal testimony of God's intervention in your life that will be so different than anyone else's.

    Please remember that adults face uncertainties too, they question God and His presence and His plans. We are human and He knows us so well. He has not abandoned you even in the midst of your waiting and searching. We all come to that place of needing God as though our very next breath depended on Him showing up. But it is often in the waiting that we find something we never knew existed. "Call to me and I will answer you and show you unsearchable things you do not know". Jeremiah 33:3. I will be praying that for you.