Feeling like scrupulosity

[Chance7]

hi, I’m kind of new to this, so I’ll give it my best explanation I can for now. Honestly, I feel like I am going insane and like I’m not living freely at all. See, I have severe OCD(think, doing things literally hundreds of times)and I feel like the OCD that I once had with worldly things, I now have with God. I used to do things hundreds of times but God helped me overcome that. However, now, I believe the devil is trying to use my OCD against me in my Christian life to both make me unhappy and make me feel like I’m a failure. Honestly, I can’t do anything anymore. I feel like certain colors of clothes are sinful. I feel like crossing my legs or yawning or wearing a jacket inside when it’s cold is sinful. I feel like reading my Bible too fast is sinful(and by that I mean anything but one verse a minute). I feel like listening to music(anything but Gospel music and even some Gospel songs)is sinful. I feel like jokes(even innocent ones)are sinful. I feel like eating certain types of food, anything sweet, spicy, or certain colors, is sinful. The scariest thing, however, is that I believe that actually eating anything for 1-3 days is sinful. I feel like I should constantly fast and not eat for days at a time. I also feel like I should never eat or drink again sometimes but I know better than to believe that. But at the moment I believe that EVERYTHING that isn’t reading the Bible is a sin and sometimes I even believe that I shouldn’t read my Bible. I feel like my mind is under attack, constantly. What should I do?

 

[SolomonVII]

You rationally understand that this is a result of your psychological condition and has nothing to do with God or Christian teaching.
Maybe like being blind or lame, until there is a cure for this that works for you, this is what is going to define your suffering, and it is a cross that you will need to endure.

 

[Michie]

You need to see a doctor and seek professional help.

 

[Christie insb]

hi, I’m kind of new to this, so I’ll give it my best explanation I can for now. Honestly, I feel like I am going insane and like I’m not living freely at all. See, I have severe OCD(think, doing things literally hundreds of times)and I feel like the OCD that I once had with worldly things, I now have with God. I used to do things hundreds of times but God helped me overcome that. However, now, I believe the devil is trying to use my OCD against me in my Christian life to both make me unhappy and make me feel like I’m a failure. Honestly, I can’t do anything anymore. I feel like certain colors of clothes are sinful. I feel like crossing my legs or yawning or wearing a jacket inside when it’s cold is sinful. I feel like reading my Bible too fast is sinful(and by that I mean anything but one verse a minute). I feel like listening to music(anything but Gospel music and even some Gospel songs)is sinful. I feel like jokes(even innocent ones)are sinful. I feel like eating certain types of food, anything sweet, spicy, or certain colors, is sinful. The scariest thing, however, is that I believe that actually eating anything for 1-3 days is sinful. I feel like I should constantly fast and not eat for days at a time. I also feel like I should never eat or drink again sometimes but I know better than to believe that. But at the moment I believe that EVERYTHING that isn’t reading the Bible is a sin and sometimes I even believe that I shouldn’t read my Bible. I feel like my mind is under attack, constantly. What should I do?

If it is interfering with your health by convincing you not to eat, you need to see a professional. Who were you working with before? Maybe he or she could help you now. There are a lot of different therapies but the one I have heard the best about is ERP. Anyway... Get thee to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

 

[drjean]

Try and be calm and trust God. You know He is in your life and loves You. Find a short mantra to say "over and over" again to feed your brain something other than the negative compulsory messages you are sending it because of the OCD. "I can be at peace because I trust you Lord." or something like that.. because we all know He gives us peace that passes all our understanding.

I have PTS that flares in fatigue and pain. I have many phrases I've memorized to help me stay true to God. One of them, for me, is "that isn't me, that's the PTS". You might try that with the OCD? You are not your disorder. Keep separate from it as much as you can and don't "own" it? Others of my phrases are of course Bible verses... such as the one about how God will not give us more than we can handle... and of course that is by trusting HE is in control and will take the reigns when we give them up, quit struggling and let Him get 'r done for us.

 

[Chance7]

Thank you all for the help. I appreciate it. Sorry for the kind of strange post.

 

[God is good]

hi, I’m kind of new to this, so I’ll give it my best explanation I can for now. Honestly, I feel like I am going insane and like I’m not living freely at all. See, I have severe OCD(think, doing things literally hundreds of times)and I feel like the OCD that I once had with worldly things, I now have with God. I used to do things hundreds of times but God helped me overcome that. However, now, I believe the devil is trying to use my OCD against me in my Christian life to both make me unhappy and make me feel like I’m a failure. Honestly, I can’t do anything anymore. I feel like certain colors of clothes are sinful. I feel like crossing my legs or yawning or wearing a jacket inside when it’s cold is sinful. I feel like reading my Bible too fast is sinful(and by that I mean anything but one verse a minute). I feel like listening to music(anything but Gospel music and even some Gospel songs)is sinful. I feel like jokes(even innocent ones)are sinful. I feel like eating certain types of food, anything sweet, spicy, or certain colors, is sinful. The scariest thing, however, is that I believe that actually eating anything for 1-3 days is sinful. I feel like I should constantly fast and not eat for days at a time. I also feel like I should never eat or drink again sometimes but I know better than to believe that. But at the moment I believe that EVERYTHING that isn’t reading the Bible is a sin and sometimes I even believe that I shouldn’t read my Bible. I feel like my mind is under attack, constantly. What should I do?

I have scrupulosity and it's hard but Jesus is my Lord and savior and as long as He is your Lord and savior then you have nothing to fear my friend. Even right now I'm struggling with my ocd thoughts, God loves you very much and He knows your heart. If you ever want to talk you can message me whenever you want and God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

 

[Mari17]

Thank you all for the help. I appreciate it. Sorry for the kind of strange post.

This is NOT a strange post! You have OCD, and that is exactly what it does to your mind. It sounds like it's pretty severe right now, so I'd recommend finding a therapist who knows how to treat OCD using ERP therapy. You can also get medications that help. Also, research OCD on your own, and ERP therapy, and start putting it into practice. The therapy can be implemented on your own, it's just easier with a therapist. It basically consists of starting to say NO to your compulsions (anything you do to relieve anxiety - in your case, it's the things you don't do, such as eating, listening to certain types of music, etc.). I know that with OCD it's really hard to do this, because we go into "overthinking" mode so much that we feel we can't tell what's OCD and what's our conscience. But there's a whole different feel to OCD. It feels unnatural, and oppressive, and like something we don't want to do. The key with OCD is that you have to say no to it EVEN IF you're not sure it's OCD. Because you'll never be sure. That's what makes it OCD. It wants you to have complete certainty, to be perfect. We have to learn to release control of that and not be perfectionists. Please start looking into getting help, and keep asking questions on here if you need to. I can recommend some fabulous resources if you'd like, and I am also available by pm anytime. For starters, I'd recommend checking out this website: http://ocdandchristianity.com/.
You can be free from this!

 

[JesusIsLord_]

Seek a professional and pray a lot

@Mari17 helped me a lot (sorry for mentioning you all the time is that i really appreciate what you did, you helped me a lot really)

 

[Mari17]

Seek a professional and pray a lot

@Mari17 helped me a lot (sorry for mentioning you all the time is that i really appreciate what you did, you helped me a lot really)

Don't be sorry! I'm glad it has helped!