Feeling judged while dating someone christian.

[Ravillante]

Hi there,

I'm currently dating a Christian guy. Im a Christian believer myself, but not from a religious family and I have not been going to church very much lately (although I started going regularly again). I have not selectively been dating Christian men before because I did not meet enough Christian men for dating and was getting impatient.

I am very excited to finally be dating a decent Christian guy, and in most aspects he is truly my dream guy. We both believe we have a good connection and vibe emotionally and mentally. However, one thing I find difficult to get over is his (perceived) judgmentalness.

His ex girlfriend was a very Christian girl, and I am simply not that Christian. He mentions her often & tells me how much her learnt from her, how giving she was, how selfless, how much of an example she was to others. She had a subservient heart and he admires that.

Every time he gives an example like that I cannot help but to feel compared, and there to be high expectations from his side regarding my 'heart' and 'degree of Christianity'. I am just not a perfect Christian, also have other priorities in life, career-wise for example. Of course I admire people who have a high degree of selflessness. I assume (hope) they are not doing it to impress potential partners. However, because of his comments, I'm scared he will ultimately think my heart is not 'holy' enough. Also, I do not want to be pressured to be a certain way, and this makes me a feel a little bit like I can't just be as I am.

We have only been dating for about 1 month, and havent been friends before... so its super early.
Any thoughts/advice?

Thanks a lot!

Cheers,
Ravillante

 

[Lieke]

You could do several things.

You could pray about it.

You coultalk to him and say whats on ur mind even rhough its really hard. I think thats the best thjng to do.

Or you could make a decision you dont want that in ur life. But thats pretty radic to do

Or you could ignore it and maybe it will stop.

Its something personal though. But i would definetly pray about it.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Read Ephesians (about 5 chapters) prayerfully, like a thousand times ( ) , well, daily.

The edification and lessons from the Eternal's Word is convicting and encouraging, upbuilding , and "on the rock" (Jesus) .....

 

[RaymondG]

Hi there,

I'm currently dating a Christian guy. Im a Christian believer myself, but not from a religious family and I have not been going to church very much lately (although I started going regularly again). I have not selectively been dating Christian men before because I did not meet enough Christian men for dating and was getting impatient.

I am very excited to finally be dating a decent Christian guy, and in most aspects he is truly my dream guy. We both believe we have a good connection and vibe emotionally and mentally. However, one thing I find difficult to get over is his (perceived) judgmentalness.

His ex girlfriend was a very Christian girl, and I am simply not that Christian. He mentions her often & tells me how much her learnt from her, how giving she was, how selfless, how much of an example she was to others. She had a subservient heart and he admires that.

Every time he gives an example like that I cannot help but to feel compared, and there to be high expectations from his side regarding my 'heart' and 'degree of Christianity'. I am just not a perfect Christian, also have other priorities in life, career-wise for example. Of course I admire people who have a high degree of selflessness. I assume (hope) they are not doing it to impress potential partners. However, because of his comments, I'm scared he will ultimately think my heart is not 'holy' enough. Also, I do not want to be pressured to be a certain way, and this makes me a feel a little bit like I can't just be as I am.

We have only been dating for about 1 month, and havent been friends before... so its super early.
Any thoughts/advice?

Thanks a lot!

Cheers,
Ravillante

Why is he no longer with the "holier" girl?

 

[thecolorsblend]

.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

He mentions her often

Sorry to say, it sounds like he is not over her. Not sure if he jumped into a new relationship too soon.
Be blessed.

 

[JustRachel]

You should change your priorities. I have a feeling that you don't "get it". Nonetheless, him bringing up the ex is not nice. Perhaps he's trying to show you that Jesus should be the most important thing to you.

 

[Sketcher]

A couple of things to consider.

1) You're going to grow and change. This includes growing as a Christian.

2) You're still your own person. You're not going to grow into his ex, you're going to grow into a better you.

You both need to look at that squarely, and make your decisions about how/if to move forward.