Feeling ignored and frustrated...

[EhveesMom]

I certainly don't want to seem like a whiny butt but lately I feel so put-off.

I'm trying to reconnect with Christianity as I have some doubts about some things so I emailed my churches pastor. Well I emailed his assistant and then his assistant directed me to another pastor in the church, so I emailed that person. I emailed him last week and I've still not heard a peep of a response. Not letter of acknowledgment or anything, so I emailed him back today, basically saying "sorry don't mean to seem a pest but did you receive my other email."

I hope that he will respond soon. He doesn't have to get into debate with me right now, I understand if he's tied up helping other people but just a "hey I got your email, give me a few days of thought" or something would be great.


Secondly last Sunday the main pastor preached about how Jesus looked etc, and I'd been working on a painting of Jesus so I thought what better time to send it to him.

So again I emailed the assistant and she said she'd pass my email along to the pastor and the photo of the painting. About 20 mins later SHE replies back to me and said "The pastor said its great. You're a talented painter."

It's like he couldn't even take 2 seconds to respond personally.

Again I don't want to seem a brat, but if someone takes the time to pour out an email to you and show you a painting, can't you take 2 seconds to say something personally?

Am I being unreasonable here?

I really do like this church, I like the "mood" of it, the fellowship, I love the pastors sermons (most the time hehe) but seems like when I try to make a more personal connection I keep getting denied.

I am at a very fragile state right now regarding my Christian beliefs and this is really not helping. Does that make sense? Or am I being a spoiled brat?

 

[pocaracas]

Maybe he doesn't like computers.

He did like the painting!

 

[Annoula]

well... i think you shouldn't mix up your personal fragile state with the (non) response from the pastor.
you never know what is happening in his life. he may not like computers as pocaracas said, but he may be having personal problems that he needs to attend. if you need help urgently, then you could tell the assistant.

don't take it personal please.
a delay may even turn up to be for the best. patience is a virtue. try practicing a little bit.

keep strong!

 

[Catherineanne]

I am at a very fragile state right now regarding my Christian beliefs and this is really not helping. Does that make sense? Or am I being a spoiled brat?

You are not being a brat, spoiled or otherwise. You are reaching out, and asking for help, but you are doing it in such a way that nobody is really getting the message.

I am not sure what kind of church you attend, but I have certainly experienced some pastors who keep women very much at arms length, and refer them to other women if at all possible. There is no need for this frankly Islamic behaviour in our faith, but it does happen.

I think emailing may not be the best approach; few ministers have the time that we think they have to read and respond to emails. Don't judge anyone by how they respond to an email; for one thing they can't tell from that whether you are happy or not; they may well think that you are fine.

I would suggest you go to your pastor at the end of the next meeting, and ask him for some of his time; tell him you have a problem you want to discuss. If he declines or refers you to a woman's group then find a church that understands pastoral care a little more.

I also suggest that you ask your minister what he would regard as appropriate from you; my own priest allows us to have his mobile phone number, as well as his email and home phone number. I text the mobile number if I have something important to tell him, but I never ring it; he didn't set that rule, I did, because I regard having a mobile number as a privilege, not to be abused. So, if you have any doubts, ask him.

I wish you well.

 

[EhveesMom]

Thank you everyone for your advice and kind words.

I guess this "urging" I have whispering in my heart is so strong that I feel like I'm in a hurry. Does that make sense?

pocaracas- Maybe so! But he facebooks often!

Annoula- I have a toddler and I'm pregnant, I do have patience in MOST things. lol Just this one instance I feel like I cannot sit still any longer.

Catherineanne- I do not think it is an issue between female and male, thankfully. I was referred to another male pastor to speak with my spiritual questions. After I posted here, he's actually been speaking with me via email and we've set up a meeting in 2 Sundays. He originally wanted to phone me, but with my husband around and my very loud active toddler, I would not have gotten a meaningful conversation that way.

And just because - I'll go ahead and share the painting with you folks here. I think it's meant to be shared.

 

[pocaracas]

Nice painting! You've got some talent there!
And you've painted me! only with a different hair style and beard.
If he's a facebook user, post the painting on his wall! I know it won't be just him seeing it, but a lot more people... But then again, why paint something with such fine textures and not share it with everyone?

 

[EhveesMom]

Thank you! But I wouldn't want to post it there after showing him via email. He might think I'm spamming him or something.

 

[zaksmummy]

Why dont you share some of your questions here and we'll see if we can help.

 

[Annoula]

wow... that's a great painting!!

 

[Catherineanne]

And just because - I'll go ahead and share the painting with you folks here. I think it's meant to be shared.

Thanks for sharing, E.

Bear in mind that with artistic ability pretty well inevitably comes increased sensitivity, and that not everyone will realise this. Be careful who you associate with, and who you confide in.

God be with you.

 

[maizer]

Thank you! But I wouldn't want to post it there after showing him via email. He might think I'm spamming him or something.

Wow, my jaw dropped when I saw that painting. Wow, speechless.

As for the pastor, I agree with others that he may be dealing with other matters and may not know how urgent you our. For example, I know my own pastor is talking and praying with a lady who is in the final stages of cancer(everyone loves here), other folks who are battling cancer as well, multiple families who have no income, one family where the husband was so desperate he was contemplating a crime, a family that is trying but is having problems trying to conceive their first child, a couple contemplating divorce, and as our church is near a very famous bridge, folks(christian and non Christian) contemplating suicide stop by our church from time to time on their way to the bridge, etc etc. I know he's very... occupied.

Forgive me if I'm trivializing your problems, but have you perhaps invited your pastor and his family for a meal? Or asked for some time to talk about the things in your heart? Once the pastor really knows where you are, I'm sure he will keep it a priority, or at least give a reason why he/she is so busy.