Feeling drained- should i let go of my depressed friend?

Sunlit Clouds

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My friend and I are long distance friends. We only chat on facebook and once on skype. We've been friends for over 3 years. What started out as me supporting them through their depression has slowly drained me and im starting to have anxiety and feel sad myself. I am usually a positive person-i still am. It's just that i feel drained after chatting with them. I feel like i should leave the friendship but unsure how to. My anxiety and panic attacks get triggered just thinking about leaving as i very much care about how they will take it and how they will respond.

My question is.. should i just talk less and less or just leave cold turkey after telling them my reasons and then blocking them right after so i am not tempted and emotionally manipulated into staying? I just feel like my well-being has already deteriorated somewhat.
 

Christgirl67

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I had a situation like this happen before.You should take some time to talk less to them,maybe a month or a few months.From there,you can have time to clear your mind and focus on you,and decide is the friendship worth keeping.It is good to help people,but I also had to learn myself you cannot take on anyone's problems as your own.
 
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Tolworth John

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Ask them, who else do you talk with and as Daniel has said are they getting professional help.
Encourage them to attend church, to talk to other people and get professional help.
Assure them that you are concerned for them, but that you need a breack for the next month and durring this time you will block/unfriend them.

Do this and seek someone to talk to about your feelings. You can't help anyone if you are making yourself sick.

Also learn from this. When you re establish contact ask about there other contacts/friends so you can befriend them and co ordinate responces. ditto their church.
You can restore them to health you can only support and encourage them, together with other people.

If they won't share concider banning them.
 
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FutureAndAHope

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My friend and I are long distance friends. We only chat on facebook and once on skype. We've been friends for over 3 years. What started out as me supporting them through their depression has slowly drained me and im starting to have anxiety and feel sad myself. I am usually a positive person-i still am. It's just that i feel drained after chatting with them. I feel like i should leave the friendship but unsure how to. My anxiety and panic attacks get triggered just thinking about leaving as i very much care about how they will take it and how they will respond.

My question is.. should i just talk less and less or just leave cold turkey after telling them my reasons and then blocking them right after so i am not tempted and emotionally manipulated into staying? I just feel like my well-being has already deteriorated somewhat.

My advice would be don't cut them off. Infact I would suggest you still maintain the friendship. To leave a person who suffers from depression may cause them even more depression. If you are feeling drained you need a strength top up. The bible tells us that as we pray God will strengthen us. If you are feeling drained it may be you need more time with God, to gain inner strength. Pray for your friend, and pray that you gain strength too. Paul says it this way "may you be strengthened by might in the inner man". When we have inner "might", powerful strength, we can assist others more easily.
 
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Anthony30555

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First I'm so sorry for what your going through with your friend but thats not what I’m replying for your other post on “is it gods will for me to be possessed” and the threads were closed but it caught my attention and ive been searching and scouring the internet because of a similar problem i had and could find nothing on the topic till i came across this website and forum and i just had to make an account to reply even though this will be along shot because it said you haven’t been active since 2017 but hopefully the lord will give you a feeling to check your account oncemore.

for about 7 months now ive been experiencing the same exact thing your talking about when i moved from georgia to new york around december to spend i little more time with extended family i was all good for about 3 months being January, February, march but when april came around everthing change one time my grandfather had cooked for and all of us in the house did eat but upon finishing i had the worst stomach growl so loud everyone in the radius could hear it and i would keep on burping uncontrollably with the slight feeling i had to throw up now at first i was convinced maybe because i havent consume enough food before the fact but i knew for a fact it was nothing wrong with my health. Like alot of the people telling you to go to a doctor. I was 18 always been healthy, last to get sick, never had health issues, played spots like football ball i was the fastest with the most stamina my coach even wanted me to run track, never needed medications, and never experienced something like this till now. But as time progresses everytime each day i ate dinner the growls and belches got stronger and one day my grandfather had called me because of a misunderstanding and i tried to explain to him that i wasnt the cause of the situation and i could tell he seem irritated and upset that he said “enough shut up” and immediately growls began and i felt weakness in my legs about to fall to the floor like a person in a wheel chair learning how to walk again and i couldn’t speak like litterally in the physical world I couldn’t make words come out my mouth like ive been dumbed (and i never had speech problems) while i felt muscle spasms on all corners of my body that didnt take up a large space but was concentrated in one spot at a time and when that happen i was so afraid but i didnt know what to do i knew i never felt anything like this in my entire life especially in a sequence like it did right after what my grandfather said so i walk away and while walking im trembling uncontrollably and was up all night trying to make sense of what happen and long story short (alot more incidents happen but too much to write in text) the pains and spasm got stronger.i had face twitching and I felt muscle spasms on my arms, my torso, and my legs id also feel feet cramps and numbness in my fingers I'd also get stomach growls so loud they can be heard from people around them and extremely annoying, and some other the high tier pains i feel sharp pain all over my body and it even hit my groin area on my private and when that wasn’t enough the strongest sharp pain i ever felt was the sharp pain on my heart the feeling literally of alot of hot needles piercing my heart at all directions everything it happens i fall to the floor bawling for god even scared to type this because i dont want whatever causing it to start back up but these things keep happening and the belching was the only thing that stop and that was after i left New York to go back with my mom and being she was a woman of god i spoke to her about it and she insisted it was health problems and i ask her when was the last time she had to take me to the doctor because of health problems and she said your right but i dont know what to tell you youll have to pray so i did pray and kept praying and even talk to my pastor and he wasnt sure what to make of it and thats when i started to lose hope and i fasted and went before god that if this was happening because im a wicked person or done something especially evil in his sight to please reveal it to me that i will never trepass again but no answer there of. His speaks to me but never on the topic concerning this mysterious new pain. I traveled back to georgia to get pray over by the pastor and get baptise and while getting pray for the thing was literally manifesting itself causing me muscle spasms and and new day after i got saved i felt good right after but the next day it was the same thing so I traveled back to my moms and while praying one time god just told me “theres snakes in the grass” and instructed me to move to get an apartment and not to tell anyone the location there of or anything on the lines of that so i did i exactly that but it really was a leap of faith because moving on my own would never be first on my to do list more like the last thing and being my financial situation it was hard for me finding a apartment that will accept me being that im self employed starting this year so i had no tax information so every apartment i look for declined me till i went back in god presence and ask him if it was really his will for me to move or if it was the enemy playing tricks with me and i ask him if it was his will to be done to make a way and the next day apartment called me saying they had one open and if i wanted to check it out they didnt need any tax information and bank statements to show proof of income was enough so i did that and move in. But living here for a month now the pains, muscle spasms, and growls still happen and im really not sure what to do when I literally go before the lord crying for it to go away it will cease but start again the next day and like you said on the other post this may be your thorn in the heart i do believe that and I believe this is mine aswell. Whatever reason god needs to keep us on track and focused on him and this is how he makes us pay attention. Now i dont know if it because im stubborn in doing something (and im a very obedient person and nothing ever tends to get under my skin or bother me) so i wouldnt say its stubbornness but i dont know what god sees inside of me these days it keeps happening occasionally it wakes me up in the middle of the night and i run into prayer and its quite fascinating how no one on the internet is talking about the spiritual warfare that manifest itself physically till i came across your thread and the amoutn of people throwing out your case to say your either not as close to god as you think you are, or its a health problem, or your just simply lacking in faith. Its crazy they sound just like jobs friends when god took everything he had away and they insisted it was because he was doing evil in the dark because god is all true and all good(which is true) but you dont know what god has in mind or planning to do how foolishly can you make that assumption to act as if you know all gods ways. Some other saying to resist the devil and he will flee like thats not being tried and god himself told paul that he wouldnt removed his thorn and the entire psalm speak about wicked imagination and how thats easily witchcraft...just thinking passionately about someone dieing is witchcraft and its evil thats why god despises wickedness so much but for some reason god allow this thing to keep troubling us he can only put our trust in his hands it may be to keep us on track for something he’s calling us to do.

and sorry for all the run on sentences and improper grammar i have in here i was just thumbing my fingers through excitement getting this all out but i hope the lord gives you the insight to look at this message to know you are not alone in this battle even though i dont know the solution either just keep praying and stay on the right path dont convinced yourself that your wicked like i did for some unknown thing you didnt do unless you know for sure in all consciousness you did do something that he’s not to pleased with then seek him and get back on track. This whole experience has just really been an eye opener to spiritual warfare on a whole and just really showed me theres evil out there and witchcraft not the mention demonic principalities that can physically harm and have effect on you not only physically, but emotionally like depression and effect your finances while causing chaos and mayhem in your daily lifes it just shows us he need god all the more stay in the word and hope god heals you stay in there god bless!!
 
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SANTOSO

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My friend and I are long distance friends. We only chat on facebook and once on skype. We've been friends for over 3 years. What started out as me supporting them through their depression has slowly drained me and im starting to have anxiety and feel sad myself. I am usually a positive person-i still am. It's just that i feel drained after chatting with them. I feel like i should leave the friendship but unsure how to. My anxiety and panic attacks get triggered just thinking about leaving as i very much care about how they will take it and how they will respond.

My question is.. should i just talk less and less or just leave cold turkey after telling them my reasons and then blocking them right after so i am not tempted and emotionally manipulated into staying? I just feel like my well-being has already deteriorated somewhat.

Just tell your long distance fiends of yours, that you need to wait more on the Lord to gain His strength ; that may means less time with them or not be in contact with them for sometime.

Just tell them that you want to serve them more in the strength of the Lord, not on your strength which you find something missing in the way the Lord tells you.

I believe that they would be looking forward for the new you and they will be glad to know more on this new side of you in the Lord.

If you would want not to feel drained away, be filled in the Spirit.

This is what we have heard :
The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. -Lamentations 3:25
 
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lismore

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My question is.. should i just talk less and less or just leave cold turkey after telling them my reasons and then blocking them right after so i am not tempted and emotionally manipulated into staying?

Hello. A sudden rejection of a person with depression could have serious consequences for them.
If you're just chatting on the internet, take a break, some time out. Decrease the frequency of messages for a time, you can always increase them again.

God Bless :)
 
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sunshinexsweettea

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This doesn’t have anything to do with this particular post... but .. to the post about something causing muscle spasms in you..I AM DEALING WITH THE SAME THING! Every time I’m watching something with my fam my muscle spasms. If someone is about to sin around me my muscle spasms. Also it tries to actually communicate with me by telling me one side means yes and the other means no and it switches up and lies a lot. Also.. my skin has started the itching but no one is feeling nervous around me or anything but when they pray for me.. they always say there’s dark forces around me. It keeps trying to make me think it’s God because if I see the word God it’ll make my muscle spasm. I’m so tired of it. Are you still dealing with this? I pray you respond.
My friend and I are long distance friends. We only chat on facebook and once on skype. We've been friends for over 3 years. What started out as me supporting them through their depression has slowly drained me and im starting to have anxiety and feel sad myself. I am usually a positive person-i still am. It's just that i feel drained after chatting with them. I feel like i should leave the friendship but unsure how to. My anxiety and panic attacks get triggered just thinking about leaving as i very much care about how they will take it and how they will respond.

My question is.. should i just talk less and less or just leave cold turkey after telling them my reasons and then blocking them right after so i am not tempted and emotionally manipulated into staying? I just feel like my well-being has already deteriorated somewhat.
 
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Jeffwhosoever

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You might suggest this free service for your friend and maybe even yourself. If I remember right its one based in Missouri and is run by a Christian group, but if you start looking into it and it isn't, then ask me again. But I am pretty sure this is the right group: Interactive Mental Health Online
 
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SANTOSO

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Dear one,
Let us find delights and joy to share in Christ’s suffering. This is wha we have commended:

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. -Romans 15:1
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. -Romans 15:2
For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me." -Romans 15:3
For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4

Let us rejoice in this hope. Let us rejoice in our tribulations, for Christ is with us.
He doesn’t leave or forsake us. Let us trust in His love.
To God be glory. Amen
 
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