Feeling confused: Long Post Ahead

[Christ_inMe93]

This is a long post so if you read it all, thank you so much for your patience!

this post is something that has been on my mind for a long time. I want to give a backstory about where I came from to today. I am worried about my salvation.
From high school until 2015 I was so lost. I was smoking weed all the time, partying, hanging around the wrong crowd, causing stress and sorrow in my family (because of my behavior and actions). Now, I’ve always gone to church with my family, but I wasn’t present, my mind was always on something else and I definitely didn’t know Christ. Fast forward to the end of 2015: I was so depressed because of the people I was around, no direction in my life, always high, etc. I had officially hit rock bottom in my life. There was nowhere else for me to go. I wasn’t taking school seriously, i was hanging around people who didn’t care about me at all and only concerned themselves with image. Anyway, I was laying in my bed and I believe the Holy Spirit convicted me to turn away from my lifestyle. I called my pastor & he told me to come see him at church right away! Once I was there, we prayed together, I confessed Christ as the Son of God, repented & confessed my sins and truly believed in Him then. Afterwards, I lost ALL desires to smoke weed, and I was smoking weed EVERYDAY. I felt a fresh new change within me, like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I felt such peace and joy. I stopped watching nonsense TV shows, stopped listening to ungodly music, stopped going out to bars & clubs, being around ungodly people and started telling my friends in my life at the time about Christ. Even my personality changed; i wasn’t so selfish anymore, i was concerned about the people around me, those who couldn’t help themselves and people who didn’t know Christ. I know it wasn’t my own doing, but the Holy Spirit of God to bring such rapid change in my life! I was just so excited about my new life and I wanted to shout it from the mountain tops lol.

Anyway, fast forward to today. I have backslidden so much, following after my flesh, got drunk a few times (it pains me to say that), and some other struggles I dealt with before coming to Christ. I feel so ashamed and confused about my salvation. I confess my sins whenever I commit them, renew my mind, and continue praying to God, but then the next day I fall into sin again or start obeying my flesh!! I feel like I’ve just sinned too much beyond repentance or that somehow I believed in vain. I STILL believe in Jesus Christ; He is the only way to the Father & there is something wrong with me! I feel so confused and emotionally drained from going back and forth to my flesh/the world and just wish I could never sin again. I hate sinning and feel so ashamed and useless to God when I do..

Please keep me in your prayers you guys and any biblical advice will be deeply appreciated, no matter how much it hurts me to face the truth. Thank you & God bless you all <3

 

[God is good]

This is a long post so if you read it all, thank you so much for your patience!

this post is something that has been on my mind for a long time. I want to give a backstory about where I came from to today. I am worried about my salvation.
From high school until 2015 I was so lost. I was smoking weed all the time, partying, hanging around the wrong crowd, causing stress and sorrow in my family (because of my behavior and actions). Now, I’ve always gone to church with my family, but I wasn’t present, my mind was always on something else and I definitely didn’t know Christ. Fast forward to the end of 2015: I was so depressed because of the people I was around, no direction in my life, always high, etc. I had officially hit rock bottom in my life. There was nowhere else for me to go. I wasn’t taking school seriously, i was hanging around people who didn’t care about me at all and only concerned themselves with image. Anyway, I was laying in my bed and I believe the Holy Spirit convicted me to turn away from my lifestyle. I called my pastor & he told me to come see him at church right away! Once I was there, we prayed together, I confessed Christ as the Son of God, repented & confessed my sins and truly believed in Him then. Afterwards, I lost ALL desires to smoke weed, and I was smoking weed EVERYDAY. I felt a fresh new change within me, like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I felt such peace and joy. I stopped watching nonsense TV shows, stopped listening to ungodly music, stopped going out to bars & clubs, being around ungodly people and started telling my friends in my life at the time about Christ. Even my personality changed; i wasn’t so selfish anymore, i was concerned about the people around me, those who couldn’t help themselves and people who didn’t know Christ. I know it wasn’t my own doing, but the Holy Spirit of God to bring such rapid change in my life! I was just so excited about my new life and I wanted to shout it from the mountain tops lol.

Anyway, fast forward to today. I have backslidden so much, following after my flesh, got drunk a few times (it pains me to say that), and some other struggles I dealt with before coming to Christ. I feel so ashamed and confused about my salvation. I confess my sins whenever I commit them, renew my mind, and continue praying to God, but then the next day I fall into sin again or start obeying my flesh!! I feel like I’ve just sinned too much beyond repentance or that somehow I believed in vain. I STILL believe in Jesus Christ; He is the only way to the Father & there is something wrong with me! I feel so confused and emotionally drained from going back and forth to my flesh/the world and just wish I could never sin again. I hate sinning and feel so ashamed and useless to God when I do..

Please keep me in your prayers you guys and any biblical advice will be deeply appreciated, no matter how much it hurts me to face the truth. Thank you & God bless you all <3

I feel the same way and I know how hard it is but remember, Jesus really loves us and He is always with us. God bless you and Jesus is Lord.

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

We will always have struggles as christians. We are stuck in this fleshy body with desires we sometimes give into. Its not an excuse to sin of course. But we must realize true perfection is impossible while human. Its why we must always ask for forgiveness when we mess up and continue to ask for strength through God to help us out.

I realize some may come across as being perfect "I never smoked, I never drank, I never had a sexual thought!"...so on and so forth. But trust me, they are not perfect. As my pastor says a man who says he goes even one day without screwing up is a liar.

Me? I was saved at a young age. Let Jesus into my heart. Believed strongly. But in my late teens I resented God and slid VERY far away from Him. Since then I have gotten back on track. I still screw up at times but I always have hope that I can one day be free of certain big struggles and of course on day be with Him and free of these issues.

 

[Rescued One]

People who abuse drugs and alcohol should get professional help. You can share your struggles with them and they will help you know 1) that you're not alone 2) ways to deal with what causes you to drink. Seriously. I have two siblings who are killing themselves with alcohol and tobacco. They won't get help. I've struggled with depression and counseling helped me to stop trying to do things to make my father approve of me. I finally realized, because of the counseling, that he wasn't going to change no matter what I did.

The struggle with alcohol doesn't send a person to hell. But professional help is out there and when you overcome the alcohol, you'll feel better and enjoy being able to do things for Christ.

 

[discipler7]

I am worried about my salvation.

Christians are saved from hell by faith in Jesus Christ. They will only lose salvation if they lose faith(eg by ignorantly or willfully committing sins and then suffering for their sins - JOB.2:9), renounce the faith(eg during times of tribulation and persecution) or depart from the faith(eg by following doctrine of demons or heresies)

I'm afraid taking weed and alcohol long term have likely caused damage to your brain or alteration to your brain chemistry, resulting in addiction or dependency or an addictive personality.(cf; LEVITICUS.10:9) This is an ignorant sin/evil-deed/law-breaking often committed by Gentiles. You likely need to subsist on weed or alcohol or replace the addiction with prescription pills or caffeine or nicotine, for the rest of your life, which can be costly. ACTS.15:24-29 permits Gentile Christians to even remain as drug addicts or alcoholics = but shorter life on earth. You need to also keep the faith until you die = will still gain eternal life in the kingdom of heaven.
....... Drug addicts and alcoholics with brain damage/alteration are not very different from Type 2 diabetics with pancreas damage who need to survive with insulin for the rest of their lives.

If God/Jesus heals you of drug addiction or brain damage, all the better.

P S - STDs or HIV+ among sexually immoral Gentiles can be a lifelong problem too.

 

[Dave-W]

Anyway, fast forward to today. I have backslidden so much, following after my flesh, got drunk a few times (it pains me to say that), and some other struggles I dealt with before coming to Christ. I feel so ashamed and confused about my salvation. I confess my sins whenever I commit them, renew my mind, and continue praying to God, but then the next day I fall into sin again or start obeying my flesh!! I feel like I’ve just sinned too much beyond repentance or that somehow I believed in vain. I STILL believe in Jesus Christ; He is the only way to the Father & there is something wrong with me! I feel so confused and emotionally drained from going back and forth to my flesh/the world and just wish I could never sin again. I hate sinning and feel so ashamed and useless to God when I do..

Derek Prince (of blessed memory) put together a series of teachings based on Hebrews 6.1-3 called The Foundation Series. It is designed to stabilize one's walk with the Lord.

There are also several hours of video where he teaches thru the series.

 

[Christ_inMe93]

BTW- I don’t smoke weed anymore, I was saying when I was still lost I used to smoke

 

[DarkGalaxy501]

This is a long post so if you read it all, thank you so much for your patience!

this post is something that has been on my mind for a long time. I want to give a backstory about where I came from to today. I am worried about my salvation.
From high school until 2015 I was so lost. I was smoking weed all the time, partying, hanging around the wrong crowd, causing stress and sorrow in my family (because of my behavior and actions). Now, I’ve always gone to church with my family, but I wasn’t present, my mind was always on something else and I definitely didn’t know Christ. Fast forward to the end of 2015: I was so depressed because of the people I was around, no direction in my life, always high, etc. I had officially hit rock bottom in my life. There was nowhere else for me to go. I wasn’t taking school seriously, i was hanging around people who didn’t care about me at all and only concerned themselves with image. Anyway, I was laying in my bed and I believe the Holy Spirit convicted me to turn away from my lifestyle. I called my pastor & he told me to come see him at church right away! Once I was there, we prayed together, I confessed Christ as the Son of God, repented & confessed my sins and truly believed in Him then. Afterwards, I lost ALL desires to smoke weed, and I was smoking weed EVERYDAY. I felt a fresh new change within me, like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I felt such peace and joy. I stopped watching nonsense TV shows, stopped listening to ungodly music, stopped going out to bars & clubs, being around ungodly people and started telling my friends in my life at the time about Christ. Even my personality changed; i wasn’t so selfish anymore, i was concerned about the people around me, those who couldn’t help themselves and people who didn’t know Christ. I know it wasn’t my own doing, but the Holy Spirit of God to bring such rapid change in my life! I was just so excited about my new life and I wanted to shout it from the mountain tops lol.

Anyway, fast forward to today. I have backslidden so much, following after my flesh, got drunk a few times (it pains me to say that), and some other struggles I dealt with before coming to Christ. I feel so ashamed and confused about my salvation. I confess my sins whenever I commit them, renew my mind, and continue praying to God, but then the next day I fall into sin again or start obeying my flesh!! I feel like I’ve just sinned too much beyond repentance or that somehow I believed in vain. I STILL believe in Jesus Christ; He is the only way to the Father & there is something wrong with me! I feel so confused and emotionally drained from going back and forth to my flesh/the world and just wish I could never sin again. I hate sinning and feel so ashamed and useless to God when I do..

Please keep me in your prayers you guys and any biblical advice will be deeply appreciated, no matter how much it hurts me to face the truth. Thank you & God bless you all <3

Check out this sermon by this preacher:

It's scary but it helps.

The key is that Jesus Christ will set you free from addictions and past bad things. However, just because you are set free does not mean it's over. You are saved once you believe in Jesus Christ, true. You are saved from the power of sin, true. You are saved from the power of satan, true. But you still have those bad habits. You have fed your flesh so much over the years and now its time to change. Only God can change you. And He will, but it will be a process. it will take time. But ONLY IF YOU GO AFTER GOD. Once Jesus delivers you, you must hold on to Jesus Christ and NEVER LET GO. FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS HERE ON EARTH YOU MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MUST MAKE PRAYER AND READING THE BIBLE A PRIORITY. You must keep your self in the bible daily, and keep yourself in prayer daily. This will help you walk in the Spirit. You need God's presence over your life, His grace. You will need it everyday till you die. This means you have to actually become a true christian. That means you must give up your old ways of neglecting God. You can no longer afford to neglect prayer and reading the bible like the other "so called" christians.

Remember John 15:1-5. YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING APART FROM CHRIST. You cannot remain free from sin apart from Christ. You cannot remain drug free apart from Christ. You cannot remain sober apart from Christ. YOU CANT. NO ONE CAN!!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAD A HISTORY OF DRUG USUAGE. Bro...i speak with love. I have seen many things. I have seen what God can do if you keep Him first everyday of your life. I have seen what can happen if you neglect prayer and reading the bible. God will help you, but you must run to him daily and abide under His shadow daily. YOU MUST SEEK GOD DAILY!!! You cant afford to be lazy. He will help you.

As you do this, it will be awesome. He will give you joy, he will give you peace, he will give you love. So much. An overflowing portion that those hypocrite chrisitans just wont get you. But who cares you will be walking in the Spirit. Something Christian americans rarely do these days.

There is a better life with Christ. There is continual freedom, while in this world. But you have to put your part. You have to read the bible and pray, bro. You cant be lazy anymore.

 

[paul1149]

This is why Hebrews tells us "faith and patience" are required in order to inherit the promises. And at the end of the "Sermon on the Plane", in Luke, Jesus says the person heeding His words is like a man digging down until he finds rock on which to build his foundation. Many of us had an initial rush on being saved. It was everything we could dream of. But then the hard reality of the work before us sets in. This is where it takes diligence to define the roots of the problems and to find the right tools (in Scripture) to deal with them. So don't give up. Dig your heels in and keep looking for the answers you need.

 

[GandalfTheWise]

This is a long post so if you read it all, thank you so much for your patience!

this post is something that has been on my mind for a long time. I want to give a backstory about where I came from to today. I am worried about my salvation.
From high school until 2015 I was so lost. I was smoking weed all the time, partying, hanging around the wrong crowd, causing stress and sorrow in my family (because of my behavior and actions). Now, I’ve always gone to church with my family, but I wasn’t present, my mind was always on something else and I definitely didn’t know Christ. Fast forward to the end of 2015: I was so depressed because of the people I was around, no direction in my life, always high, etc. I had officially hit rock bottom in my life. There was nowhere else for me to go. I wasn’t taking school seriously, i was hanging around people who didn’t care about me at all and only concerned themselves with image. Anyway, I was laying in my bed and I believe the Holy Spirit convicted me to turn away from my lifestyle. I called my pastor & he told me to come see him at church right away! Once I was there, we prayed together, I confessed Christ as the Son of God, repented & confessed my sins and truly believed in Him then. Afterwards, I lost ALL desires to smoke weed, and I was smoking weed EVERYDAY. I felt a fresh new change within me, like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I felt such peace and joy. I stopped watching nonsense TV shows, stopped listening to ungodly music, stopped going out to bars & clubs, being around ungodly people and started telling my friends in my life at the time about Christ. Even my personality changed; i wasn’t so selfish anymore, i was concerned about the people around me, those who couldn’t help themselves and people who didn’t know Christ. I know it wasn’t my own doing, but the Holy Spirit of God to bring such rapid change in my life! I was just so excited about my new life and I wanted to shout it from the mountain tops lol.

Anyway, fast forward to today. I have backslidden so much, following after my flesh, got drunk a few times (it pains me to say that), and some other struggles I dealt with before coming to Christ. I feel so ashamed and confused about my salvation. I confess my sins whenever I commit them, renew my mind, and continue praying to God, but then the next day I fall into sin again or start obeying my flesh!! I feel like I’ve just sinned too much beyond repentance or that somehow I believed in vain. I STILL believe in Jesus Christ; He is the only way to the Father & there is something wrong with me! I feel so confused and emotionally drained from going back and forth to my flesh/the world and just wish I could never sin again. I hate sinning and feel so ashamed and useless to God when I do..

Please keep me in your prayers you guys and any biblical advice will be deeply appreciated, no matter how much it hurts me to face the truth. Thank you & God bless you all <3

The gospel has two important parts to it. The first part we are all quite familiar with. We are forgiven, adopted as God's children, and placed into a right relationship with Him. We often are not adequately taught the second part. We are a new creation in Christ. This does not mean that we try very hard to live up to being a good Christian, but rather that God transforms us into one over time. Things such as love, joy, peace, patience, self-control are *fruit* of the Holy Spirit living within us. They are not behaviors we try as hard as possible to achieve, but rather things that God means to naturally flow out from us as part of who we are. They often don't appear as quickly as we like, but are the result of us growing spiritually over time.

My observation is that sins in our life tend to fit into 3 general categories. The first are those that we can simply decide to stop doing on our own. We feel convicted of something and we simply stop. The second are those things that disappear over time as more and more spiritual fruit emerges in our lives. The third are those addictions, compulsive behaviors, and things that require God's deliverance and healing. Those things are sometimes symptoms of deeper things that God wants to free us from. All of us have spiritual and emotional injuries and hurts and bondages that are embedded deep within us that require God's healing and work. Those things are every bit as real as having a broken leg. Until the leg is healed, we'll limp along and have difficult dancing and jumping and running.

Our spiritual growth consists both of events and process. There are those times where God will just step in and do things that cause changes. There are also extended periods of time of consistent spiritual growth. We need both to become the unique person God created us to become.

Hang in there.

 

[Christ_inMe93]

You all are amazing. Thank you so much for your advice and insight! <3