- Mar 25, 2023
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Tough post for me to make on a Christian forum, but I have been feeling alienated from the church for some time now. My perceptions may not be correct, fair, or even real, but they are mine. I grew up Catholic, and it was a rough road. I was a difficult kid in some ways (not a "bad" or criminal kid), and this led my Catholic schools to refuse to let me attend religious retreats and events. A priest yelled at me when I was 10 during my first confession. I was never confirmed.
In later years, I gravitated back to the church and joined the Newman club in college. But after some initial promise, I felt the other students were giving me the cold shoulder. After I became a teacher, I was granted an interview at a pretty good Catholic school, but didn't get the job.
I left the Catholic Church in my 30s and have attended evangelical churches. But I have found that
1. These churches tend to be feminized spaces: the women's groups are much stronger than the men's.
2. I don't know how to "say the right things", use the correct buzzwords, or repeat the rhetoric people in these churches are looking for. I try to be honest and genuine, but everything seems like a pantomime to me.
3. I took a graduate class in theology with other members of my church, and while I thought I did very well, a wrote strong papers, the instructor was dismissive and discouraging towards me
I could go on and on, but my overall feeling and impression is one on the outside who will never be part of this faith and fellowship. Doesn't mean I don't love Jesus, it just means the church is somewhere my wife goes to do "her thing".
not sure if anyone else has felt this, but it isn't a good feeling
In later years, I gravitated back to the church and joined the Newman club in college. But after some initial promise, I felt the other students were giving me the cold shoulder. After I became a teacher, I was granted an interview at a pretty good Catholic school, but didn't get the job.
I left the Catholic Church in my 30s and have attended evangelical churches. But I have found that
1. These churches tend to be feminized spaces: the women's groups are much stronger than the men's.
2. I don't know how to "say the right things", use the correct buzzwords, or repeat the rhetoric people in these churches are looking for. I try to be honest and genuine, but everything seems like a pantomime to me.
3. I took a graduate class in theology with other members of my church, and while I thought I did very well, a wrote strong papers, the instructor was dismissive and discouraging towards me
I could go on and on, but my overall feeling and impression is one on the outside who will never be part of this faith and fellowship. Doesn't mean I don't love Jesus, it just means the church is somewhere my wife goes to do "her thing".
not sure if anyone else has felt this, but it isn't a good feeling