Hi all, lately I've been obsessing over past mistakes and getting scared of hurting my students. I work at a Special Ed school, which is a rather high risk environment. I find myself obsessing over every mistake I make. Today, an incident that happened when I was working as an assistant of sorts at the school before I became a teacher is haunting me.
This was months ago. I was with a more experienced and regular working assistant who asked me if I could help her with taking a student to the toilet. At one point we tried to get them to stand, and I ended up supporting their weight rather awkwardly. I apologised to the student for all of the trouble, but I'm haunted by the fact that I might have accidentally hurt them in the process or left a bruise.
The student was non-verbal, but they didn't show obvious pain. This student is incredibly kind and loving and I would hate to hurt them in any way. My co-worker didn't seem to think anything of it either. I didn't hear of any injuries later, and it honestly slipped my mind until now. But it suddenly came back and even though I know my sins are forgiven I'm just one ball of fear and anxiety right now. I have no way of knowing if I accidentally caused harm or not at this point, and can only pray that I didn't hurt them.
Sorry for the long post, I just really wanted to get this fear off my chest. I'm really sick of feeling guilty all of the time because of this loop of obsessing over my mistakes. Every time I work through one, another mistake pops up. It's exhausting. Even though I know intellectually I'm forgiven I still feel terrible. Please pray for me.
This was months ago. I was with a more experienced and regular working assistant who asked me if I could help her with taking a student to the toilet. At one point we tried to get them to stand, and I ended up supporting their weight rather awkwardly. I apologised to the student for all of the trouble, but I'm haunted by the fact that I might have accidentally hurt them in the process or left a bruise.
The student was non-verbal, but they didn't show obvious pain. This student is incredibly kind and loving and I would hate to hurt them in any way. My co-worker didn't seem to think anything of it either. I didn't hear of any injuries later, and it honestly slipped my mind until now. But it suddenly came back and even though I know my sins are forgiven I'm just one ball of fear and anxiety right now. I have no way of knowing if I accidentally caused harm or not at this point, and can only pray that I didn't hurt them.
Sorry for the long post, I just really wanted to get this fear off my chest. I'm really sick of feeling guilty all of the time because of this loop of obsessing over my mistakes. Every time I work through one, another mistake pops up. It's exhausting. Even though I know intellectually I'm forgiven I still feel terrible. Please pray for me.
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