I've been engaged for 3.5yrs and have been with my fiance for almost 10 years and have three children. I always said I was a believer but never truly acted like it and was not knowledgeable in the Word. I recently came back to the Lord and have realized the seriousness of my life choices. The verse that fornicators will never enter the kingdom of heaven haunts me to no end. As well as the verse not to be unequally yoked. I feel like I am pressured into marrying my fiance because we have three children and have been together for so long.
I have nothing to my name. I came into the relationship with a job, a car, and money and i now have NOTHING. Literally zero dollars. I'm now a stay-at-home Mom. I keep being told by his family that if I leave him then he will never be saved and that he has changed so much since meeting me, so I feel a horrible guilt. He also told me when I previously left him, (because of anger issues) that he was going to join the army to get himself killed.
We are completely different, he drinks a lot, mocks people Constantly, I never hear anything positive, he watches inappropriate contentography all the time, even with me at home! Then he tells me I shouldn't make him feel bad for masturbating and those girls mean nothing and aren't real to him. He watches inappropriate shows on TV in front of kids and tells me "Babe just stop!" when I tell him he can not have that on around the children. He will then shut it off and turn it on when I go to another room. He does go to church with me but he constantly uses God's name in vain even though I've been asking him to stop for many years because it offends me and he should have consideration for what I believe. I feel like my walk with God is hindered and my attitude has gone downhill. I cry after sex and do not enjoy it because I know it's wrong, but I'm always feeling pressured to perform.
I don't know if I have to marry him because this is the path I chose and children are involved. Or if I should leave. It's a horrible feeling. I feel sick. I feel so stuck! I'm constantly praying but I don't know what God wants me to do! A former pastor told me I'm under grace because of my situation and I don't need to worry. But I'm not so sure that's true because fornication is still fornication.
I have nothing to my name. I came into the relationship with a job, a car, and money and i now have NOTHING. Literally zero dollars. I'm now a stay-at-home Mom. I keep being told by his family that if I leave him then he will never be saved and that he has changed so much since meeting me, so I feel a horrible guilt. He also told me when I previously left him, (because of anger issues) that he was going to join the army to get himself killed.
We are completely different, he drinks a lot, mocks people Constantly, I never hear anything positive, he watches inappropriate contentography all the time, even with me at home! Then he tells me I shouldn't make him feel bad for masturbating and those girls mean nothing and aren't real to him. He watches inappropriate shows on TV in front of kids and tells me "Babe just stop!" when I tell him he can not have that on around the children. He will then shut it off and turn it on when I go to another room. He does go to church with me but he constantly uses God's name in vain even though I've been asking him to stop for many years because it offends me and he should have consideration for what I believe. I feel like my walk with God is hindered and my attitude has gone downhill. I cry after sex and do not enjoy it because I know it's wrong, but I'm always feeling pressured to perform.
I don't know if I have to marry him because this is the path I chose and children are involved. Or if I should leave. It's a horrible feeling. I feel sick. I feel so stuck! I'm constantly praying but I don't know what God wants me to do! A former pastor told me I'm under grace because of my situation and I don't need to worry. But I'm not so sure that's true because fornication is still fornication.