Fear Of Friendship

[Heartofsilver]

Hello everyone,

Lately since losing a couple close friends and having to let go on toxic family members I have been becoming anxious about allowing friends to get to know me or getting to know me better. I'm starting to see that I'm having a fear of getting close to them, because I have a fear of losing them which is probably effecting my friendships. I do hang out with my friends from time to time, but not very often. I have had trouble keeping in touch with them over the summer. A part of it has to do with about have of us graduating and becoming very busy with work, etc. I have an old friend who has moved back into town. We are kind of more aquintences who have known each other for a long time and are becoming good friends along with his new girlfriend possibly. So far the past couple times that I have hung around them, I have felt skittish and had blurted out some responses. Due to my nervousness I think his new girlfriend is a little suspicious of me, but I am trying to gain courage. From what she has told me it seems that she has gone through some trauma. I too have had trauma and a turbulent past couple years that at times has my anxiety skyrocketing. For some reason I have started to care what other people think, when I used to not care. I did better last time then the first. I also have struggled with friendships since I was almost bullied to death in middle school. I have also lost friends because thier friends didn't want them to be friends with me, so I have become very cautious and anxious over time especially after letting go of toxic friends and family members recently including distancing myself from my parents. I'm going to a renaissance Celtic faire with my good friends soon where they are going to get to know a lot more about me and to be honest I'm afraid for them to get to know my true and flawed self, though a part of me wants them to get to know me and I them. I feel like I have been idolizing my friendships since, I'm so afraid of losing them somehow. Sometimes when I get really anxious, I start to contact them too much or just start thinking that I am bothering them even when it turns out not to be true. Some of this may have to do with OCD/rumination as well.

 

[SkyWriting]

Hello everyone,

Lately since losing a couple close friends and having to let go on toxic family members I have been becoming anxious about allowing friends to get to know me or getting to know me better. I'm starting to see that I'm having a fear of getting close to them, because I have a fear of losing them which is probably effecting my friendships. I do hang out with my friends from time to time, but not very often. I have had trouble keeping in touch with them over the summer. A part of it has to do with about have of us graduating and becoming very busy with work, etc. I have an old friend who has moved back into town. We are kind of more aquintences who have known each other for a long time and are becoming good friends along with his new girlfriend possibly. So far the past couple times that I have hung around them, I have felt skittish and had blurted out some responses. Due to my nervousness I think his new girlfriend is a little suspicious of me, but I am trying to gain courage. From what she has told me it seems that she has gone through some trauma. I too have had trauma and a turbulent past couple years that at times has my anxiety skyrocketing. For some reason I have started to care what other people think, when I used to not care. I did better last time then the first. I also have struggled with friendships since I was almost bullied to death in middle school. I have also lost friends because thier friends didn't want them to be friends with me, so I have become very cautious and anxious over time especially after letting go of toxic friends and family members recently including distancing myself from my parents. I'm going to a renaissance Celtic faire with my good friends soon where they are going to get to know a lot more about me and to be honest I'm afraid for them to get to know my true and flawed self, though a part of me wants them to get to know me and I them. I feel like I have been idolizing my friendships since, I'm so afraid of losing them somehow. Sometimes when I get really anxious, I start to contact them too much or just start thinking that I am bothering them even when it turns out not to be true. Some of this may have to do with OCD/rumination as well.

Focus on helping others, and ignore yourself.
Never say "I".

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hello everyone,

Lately since losing a couple close friends and having to let go on toxic family members I have been becoming anxious about allowing friends to get to know me or getting to know me better. I'm starting to see that I'm having a fear of getting close to them, because I have a fear of losing them which is probably effecting my friendships. I do hang out with my friends from time to time, but not very often. I have had trouble keeping in touch with them over the summer. A part of it has to do with about have of us graduating and becoming very busy with work, etc. I have an old friend who has moved back into town. We are kind of more aquintences who have known each other for a long time and are becoming good friends along with his new girlfriend possibly. So far the past couple times that I have hung around them, I have felt skittish and had blurted out some responses. Due to my nervousness I think his new girlfriend is a little suspicious of me, but I am trying to gain courage. From what she has told me it seems that she has gone through some trauma. I too have had trauma and a turbulent past couple years that at times has my anxiety skyrocketing. For some reason I have started to care what other people think, when I used to not care. I did better last time then the first. I also have struggled with friendships since I was almost bullied to death in middle school. I have also lost friends because thier friends didn't want them to be friends with me, so I have become very cautious and anxious over time especially after letting go of toxic friends and family members recently including distancing myself from my parents. I'm going to a renaissance Celtic faire with my good friends soon where they are going to get to know a lot more about me and to be honest I'm afraid for them to get to know my true and flawed self, though a part of me wants them to get to know me and I them. I feel like I have been idolizing my friendships since, I'm so afraid of losing them somehow. Sometimes when I get really anxious, I start to contact them too much or just start thinking that I am bothering them even when it turns out not to be true. Some of this may have to do with OCD/rumination as well.

Hi; I think the answer is in your ref. to 2 Timothy 1.7, prayerfully received and meditated upon.

 

[SamJakobs]

Hello everyone,

Lately since losing a couple close friends and having to let go on toxic family members I have been becoming anxious about allowing friends to get to know me or getting to know me better. I'm starting to see that I'm having a fear of getting close to them, because I have a fear of losing them which is probably effecting my friendships. I do hang out with my friends from time to time, but not very often. I have had trouble keeping in touch with them over the summer. A part of it has to do with about have of us graduating and becoming very busy with work, etc. I have an old friend who has moved back into town. We are kind of more aquintences who have known each other for a long time and are becoming good friends along with his new girlfriend possibly. So far the past couple times that I have hung around them, I have felt skittish and had blurted out some responses. Due to my nervousness I think his new girlfriend is a little suspicious of me, but I am trying to gain courage. From what she has told me it seems that she has gone through some trauma. I too have had trauma and a turbulent past couple years that at times has my anxiety skyrocketing. For some reason I have started to care what other people think, when I used to not care. I did better last time then the first. I also have struggled with friendships since I was almost bullied to death in middle school. I have also lost friends because thier friends didn't want them to be friends with me, so I have become very cautious and anxious over time especially after letting go of toxic friends and family members recently including distancing myself from my parents. I'm going to a renaissance Celtic faire with my good friends soon where they are going to get to know a lot more about me and to be honest I'm afraid for them to get to know my true and flawed self, though a part of me wants them to get to know me and I them. I feel like I have been idolizing my friendships since, I'm so afraid of losing them somehow. Sometimes when I get really anxious, I start to contact them too much or just start thinking that I am bothering them even when it turns out not to be true. Some of this may have to do with OCD/rumination as well.

Hey I think the best thing to do here is just to pray about it because God is always open to help us. I'll pray about you as well

 

[Southernscotty]

Praying for you as well friend, Take some deep breaths and let yourself realize that you do not have to worry about everything as you are. True friends will be there no matter what.
The most important relationship is the one between you and God.
Matt 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”