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Fear love marriage

Discussion in 'Prayer Wall' started by Cassie Gardner, Nov 13, 2020.

  1. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I feel so attacked I've been fighting for my love in my marriage for 9 months now. I lost it and I pray and ask God to lead me and teach me. To be the wife I need to be. I'm so afraid. I want to fully love my husband again. Its tearing me apart. Hes a wonderful. loving hard working man. He loves me so much. I hear of Gods healing and can restore this love. How? Why so long when I feel I'm holding on by a thread. We have an amazing 7 year old son. I dont want to tear this family apart. I couldnt ask for a better family. Please I need prayers, advice, testimonys. God has to be for my marriage I just dont understand. I never thought this could happen to me or us. I regret taking advantage of such a wonderful love. More then anything in this world I want it back. I ask for God to make me sick rather then this. My family is my world!
     
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  2. LoveGodsWord

    LoveGodsWord Well-Known Member

    +2,165
    Australia
    SDA
    Married
    Perhaps you can ask yourself why you married your Husband. Go and do things together and have more intimate personal time. God will help you and guide you if you seek him.

    God bless
     
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  3. justtrance

    justtrance Dorcus

    130
    +148
    United States
    Christian
    Divorced
    US-Libertarian
    What is it that makes you think you don't fully love him? Is it that fresh gooey feeling of being "head over heels" that you're missing?
     
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  4. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    +4,267
    New Zealand
    Christian
    Married
    Are you in fellowship Cassie?

    Can you seek out some prayer support?

    Do you pray and share a common faith together ?

    My favourite definition of Love, is it is a decision to do the right thing. (not a feeling) So I would forget the lack of feeling and simply choose to be a good wife... The feelings will follow.
     
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  5. NerdGirl

    NerdGirl The untamed daughter

    +2,305
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    Not long ago, you were posting about how you'd fallen madly in love with your husband again, and were so blissfully happy and thankful and everything was amazing.

    This sounds almost like a mood swing. From elation to despair, within a matter of days, and without anything actually being different in your situation.

    I would recommend maybe talking to a therapist to try and sort out your feelings, as they seem to be a bit all over the place.
     
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  6. public hermit

    public hermit social troglodyte Supporter

    +4,756
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Others
    That particular line is alarming. It sounds like you're trying to hold yourself back from doing what you know you shouldn't. Get your head on right, Cassie. Don't play games with your family. This is probably not a problem unless you make it one. If you have already done it, repent and get your head on right. Seriously.
     
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  7. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member Staff Member Trainee Supporter

    +925
    Catholic
    Single
    Love is a decision, you can do this, chose love. Praying for you and your family
     
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  8. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member Supporter

    +3,285
    United Kingdom
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Yet nerdgirl wrote that you were posting about having an amazing love for your husband.

    Please sit down and think, when did you have this wonderful love and when did you loose it?
    What else was going on in your life that contributed to this?
    Have you sought help from anyone?
    Have you talked to your husband about this?

    Feeling are not switched on and off like a light switch not unless something is wrong so are you prepared to seek help?
     
  9. tturt

    tturt Senior Veteran Supporter

    +4,522
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Please stop praying for sickness.

    Our marriage vows dont say "I feel" but "I WILL" It's determination - .with God's help

    God is for your marriage and family Afterall, narriage and family- His ideas.

    Encourage you to set aside fear. Watch "Marriage Today" Those televised programs are on Daystar.

    Plus their website marriagetoday.com/category/tv-episodes/ has probably 60 free episodes including "What a man really needs" and 'What a woman really needs" by Jimmy Evan's ministries. All teachings are Biblically based. Plus there's books, videos, etc. He was recently interviewed on Joni: Table Table for 4 sessions about his book "The Four Laws of Love." Think those can still be viewed.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2020
  10. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I know thats wrong but possibly. I had it for all those years. I fear change and I've never experienced this before. Its hard to accept in a way. The verse "behold I'm doing a new thing" has come up a lot the past few months. I feel God is showing me what love is. When I fight that is when I feel like I need to run which is awful and I know thats not right. It creates fear but I know thats not of God. I asked God last year to bring me back to him and renew my faith. Shortly after that this happened and I felt so broken the only place to go was him.
     
  11. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Thank you for the information. I know I have a lot to learn. Gods showing me. Theres a lot of work he has been changing in me first that I really needed to change and grow.
     
  12. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I know. Its so up and down. I've tried medications through this and I do have a therapist. I was "normal" for lack of words all through our marriage. We did move a lot I did build up a lot of resentment over the years because I didnt feel I was getting respect for being a stay at home mom. We moved to Arizona and back to NJ which I really didnt want. I never communicated and just let him lead. Maybe this is build up over the years and I didnt recognize it to the point that I broke? On better days I felt like I wanted to declare victory because I know God has already won this batter even when I dont fully feel it
     
  13. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I am involved with church and have tons of prayer support thankfully.

    He believes but isnt fully into the faith as I am. And I know thats ok.
     
  14. NerdGirl

    NerdGirl The untamed daughter

    +2,305
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    Silent resentment is a poison. I'm glad you're in therapy, and I hope part of that is learning how speak up for your wants, needs, wishes, and thoughts.
     
  15. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I've learned that the hard way. But I'm learning to work on forgiveness everyday. Bible verses recently thats been coming up all talks about forgiveness.
     
  16. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I dont know if its possible but I had a lot of resentment towards him and anger of how I was always on the back burner in many situatiuons and decisions. Maybe I let them build up so long that its clouding my love for him. I dont know I'm still learning. Its hard to see when your depressed over it. I just keep looking to the cross. giving it to him each day to heal us and clean up in us the mess we have made
     
  17. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I know. I'm holding onto Gods words and promises. I know hes for my family. Even though I cannot see I know hes working. I look up at the cross. This will pass and I'm sure my marriage will be stronger then ever. I wont loose hope. I choose Gods story in my life not my own... not my thoughts but his
     
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  18. Joined2krist

    Joined2krist Well-Known Member Staff Member Trainee Supporter

    +925
    Catholic
    Single

    Hang in there luv God will not fail you. God bless
     
  19. Cassie Gardner

    Cassie Gardner New Member

    31
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    I know in the dark moments I keep my eyes on him I can feel his hope and promises in my heart. I have a lot of people who look to me to help them follow Jesus. I know he will not put me to shame. I know not because of my works but his they will see the glory of Gods promises and his healing within me through him. I aways prayed that others could see God work in me and in my family. Maybe this is a wat hes doing it but he had to clean up the mess first. I know I will look back at this in thankfulness for my trial even though its extremley hard but its to God I give my glory and only because of him I am saved. Hes for my marriage and he will heal us more then I could imagine
     
  20. Petros2015

    Petros2015 Well-Known Member

    +2,081
    Eastern Orthodox
    Single
    There's a book called "The Love Dare" I would recommend - daily readings together on loving each other and the meaning of Christian love, along with exercises and good thoughtful commentary. You might like it and it might help.
     
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