Fear I might of pushed Jesus away

[Blaise N]

Hi everyone,

mix like to say today has been great,since the past week I’ve had tremendous anxiety.And last night I had a very emotional breakdown.Last night I confessed to God that I had no desire for him,no want,and no love for him,and it broke my heart deeply.I told myself I can’t believe I’ve backslidden and pushed him away,so I asked him to break my heart and create me anew heart,to please come back and please be apart of my life again;I repented.And upon waking up today,I’ve felt so much better,for the first half of my day I’ve firmly believed it was Christ’s work,I can ask myself “Do you believe in Jesus” and I can say YES confidently,and I feel love for him!,but some Anxiety still is here and I’m worried that “What if I’m experiencing peace because I’ve asked Jesus to leave?” “What if it isn’t Jesus’s work and it’s just my medicine catching up?” “What if I’m having peace because I no longer have faith?” And it’s distressing.I want to come back to my first love;Jesus.Can someone help?,I told Jesus that I never again would push him away.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

Would recommend to avoid any religious settings that reinforce the anxiety, and find a place of recovery.

 

[Silly Uncle Wayne]

Hi everyone,

mix like to say today has been great,since the past week I’ve had tremendous anxiety.And last night I had a very emotional breakdown.Last night I confessed to God that I had no desire for him,no want,and no love for him,and it broke my heart deeply.I told myself I can’t believe I’ve backslidden and pushed him away,so I asked him to break my heart and create me anew heart,to please come back and please be apart of my life again;I repented.And upon waking up today,I’ve felt so much better,for the first half of my day I’ve firmly believed it was Christ’s work,I can ask myself “Do you believe in Jesus” and I can say YES confidently,and I feel love for him!,but some Anxiety still is here and I’m worried that “What if I’m experiencing peace because I’ve asked Jesus to leave?” “What if it isn’t Jesus’s work and it’s just my medicine catching up?” “What if I’m having peace because I no longer have faith?” And it’s distressing.I want to come back to my first love;Jesus.Can someone help?,I told Jesus that I never again would push him away.

You need ultimately to be a part of a good church, one where you get fellowship and teaching and they point you to Jesus more and more.

The reality is we can't do this on our own, unless we have a deep, deep faith and even then for short periods, so get yourself some real help, rather than the virtual help we can provide.

Get the Holy Spirit to guide you into truth.

 

[Daniel Hoseini]

And it’s distressing.I want to come back to my first love;Jesus.Can someone help?,I told Jesus that I never again would push him away.

Actually you do believe. That's why your peace is from God. So don't lose it by listening to devil's thoughts of despondency which you take as your own. The fear that you described is definitely from the demons.

 

[A_Thinker]

Jesus w

Hi everyone,

mix like to say today has been great,since the past week I’ve had tremendous anxiety.And last night I had a very emotional breakdown.Last night I confessed to God that I had no desire for him,no want,and no love for him,and it broke my heart deeply.I told myself I can’t believe I’ve backslidden and pushed him away,so I asked him to break my heart and create me anew heart,to please come back and please be apart of my life again;I repented.And upon waking up today,I’ve felt so much better,for the first half of my day I’ve firmly believed it was Christ’s work,I can ask myself “Do you believe in Jesus” and I can say YES confidently,and I feel love for him!,but some Anxiety still is here and I’m worried that “What if I’m experiencing peace because I’ve asked Jesus to leave?” “What if it isn’t Jesus’s work and it’s just my medicine catching up?” “What if I’m having peace because I no longer have faith?” And it’s distressing.I want to come back to my first love;Jesus.Can someone help?,I told Jesus that I never again would push him away.

Jesus will never leave you.

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5b

 

[aiki]

Hi everyone,

mix like to say today has been great,since the past week I’ve had tremendous anxiety.And last night I had a very emotional breakdown.Last night I confessed to God that I had no desire for him,no want,and no love for him,and it broke my heart deeply.

Why? Why did it "break your heart deeply"?

I told myself I can’t believe I’ve backslidden and pushed him away,so I asked him to break my heart and create me anew heart,to please come back and please be apart of my life again;I repented.

No, what you did was confess, not repent. See:

Crocodile Tears.

And upon waking up today,I’ve felt so much better,for the first half of my day I’ve firmly believed it was Christ’s work,

What was "Christ's work"? Your confession of your lack of love for God and the wrongness of it? That you are feeling better in your mind?

I can ask myself “Do you believe in Jesus” and I can say YES confidently,and I feel love for him!

Friend, love isn't an emotion; love, at bottom, is desire. You love Jesus when and if you desire him:

Philippians 3:7-8
7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

Psalm 63:1
1 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 42:1-2
1 As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before God?

A deep desire for God - a love for Him - might lead to certain emotions of joy, or affection, or gratefulness, but they aren't love itself, just the by-products of love. It is very dangerous spiritually to get this confused.

some Anxiety still is here and I’m worried that “What if I’m experiencing peace because I’ve asked Jesus to leave?” “What if it isn’t Jesus’s work and it’s just my medicine catching up?” “What if I’m having peace because I no longer have faith?” And it’s distressing.I want to come back to my first love;Jesus.Can someone help?,I told Jesus that I never again would push him away.

God doesn't come to us and say, "I will give you a life full of positive emotions and feelings." No, He says He will give Himself to us, He will fill us with Himself, and we know that He has, not by an emotion we experience, but by a changed, a transformed life, marked by the work of the Holy Spirit who convicts of sin (John 16:8), illuminates God's truth to us (John 14:26; 1 Corinthians 2:10-13), strengthens us in times of temptation and trial (Romans 8:13; Ephesians 3:16; Philippians 2:13), and shapes in us the character of Jesus (Romans 8:29; Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Corinthians 3:18).

Walking with God is a life-changing thing, not merely a collection of warm, emotional fuzzies. It is a serious problem if you aren't being transformed by God; it is a comparatively trivial thing if you don't have high positive emotions all the time as His child.

 

[TheWhat?]

Last night I confessed to God that I had no desire for him,no want,and no love for him,and it broke my heart deeply.

So, then you should know what you were thinking at first is not true.

I told myself I can’t believe I’ve backslidden and pushed him away,so I asked him to break my heart and create me anew heart,to please come back and please be apart of my life again;I repented.

Whoa, slow down. Why are you adding these extra requirements? Do you think you're earning extra points with God? Why not start with just making sure you're on the right path?

You could say "God, I'm sorry for saying what I did earlier. I was wrong." There's no need to over commit.

 

[LoveGodsWord]

Hi everyone,

mix like to say today has been great,since the past week I’ve had tremendous anxiety.And last night I had a very emotional breakdown.Last night I confessed to God that I had no desire for him,no want,and no love for him,and it broke my heart deeply.I told myself I can’t believe I’ve backslidden and pushed him away,so I asked him to break my heart and create me anew heart,to please come back and please be apart of my life again;I repented.And upon waking up today,I’ve felt so much better,for the first half of my day I’ve firmly believed it was Christ’s work,I can ask myself “Do you believe in Jesus” and I can say YES confidently,and I feel love for him!,but some Anxiety still is here and I’m worried that “What if I’m experiencing peace because I’ve asked Jesus to leave?” “What if it isn’t Jesus’s work and it’s just my medicine catching up?” “What if I’m having peace because I no longer have faith?” And it’s distressing.I want to come back to my first love;Jesus.Can someone help?,I told Jesus that I never again would push him away.

Your post is very truthful and honest and your experience here is the first step in Jesus helping you to love him and God with all your heart. Don't worry we only push Jesus away when we reject Jesus through His Word. Jesus already knows all these things you have told him as it is not just your truth but that the truth of all mankind. It is the truth not just for you but for all those who truly come to God to receive His salvation. God knows us all already that we do not have love in us. This is because sin separates us from God and without God's salvation we cannot love God or follow what God wants us to do. Unless we first understand this there is no way for us to come to know Jesus and even see God's love for us. This is why the scriptures teach unless we are born again into God's promises we cannot enter into God's Kingdom. It is written in the scriptures we love him because he first loved us. In spite of our inability to love God and obey Him Jesus first love us from the very beginning not willing that any one of us should perish but have everlasting life. According to the scriptures the wages of sin is death and all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God but God was not willing that anyone of us should perish but that all should come to the knowledge of the truth and be saved. So God sent His only begotten Son Jesus to die the death that we deserve to die. That is he took our sins so that if we confess our sins to Him we receive God's forgiveness. Not only does God promise to forgive us for our sins but he promises to cleanse us from our sins, that is take them away from us by giving us a new heart to live Him who first loved us. In return all God requires of us is that we seek him and search for him with all of our heart where he promises we shall find him through His Word as we seek him for the promise of His Spirit to guide and teach us. As it is written praise God he is leading you dear friend as it is written; Matthew 9:12-13 [12]They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. [13], But go you and learn what that means, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Pray to him and seek him through his Word claiming his promises (see John 8:31-32; John 14:26; John 16:13; John 7:17; John 17:17; 1 John 2:27; Jeremiah 29:13). He promises you will find him when you search for Him with all your heart and He will change your heart to love and your life from unrest to peace.

May God bless you as you seek Him through His Word.

 

[Tolworth John]

What if I’m experiencing peace because I’ve asked Jesus to leave?”

Please study in depth what Jesus went through to save you.

Then think of how parents respond when their child says ' I hate you and wish I'd never been born! '
Do you really think that parents will reject there child just because of a childish tantrum?

Why do you believe Jesus will abandon you just because of your " childish tantrum".

the faith you have is not yours to loose, it is Jesus who has saved you and you will keep you saved.

 

[Unqualified]

You still love God even though your emotions are tipsy-turvy from your anxiety the past week. Take a few deep breaths and settle into a chair and let your emotions settle too. Chances are you will be praising the Lord.

I know you feel strongly many times but take them captive, let them flow away from you. The thoughts and feelings are not the whole story. Gods love is in you.

 

[Blaise N]

Why? Why did it "break your heart deeply"?



No, what you did was confess, not repent. See:

Crocodile Tears.



What was "Christ's work"? Your confession of your lack of love for God and the wrongness of it? That you are feeling better in your mind?



Friend, love isn't an emotion; love, at bottom, is desire. You love Jesus when and if you desire him:

Philippians 3:7-8
7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

Psalm 63:1
1 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 42:1-2
1 As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before God?

A deep desire for God - a love for Him - might lead to certain emotions of joy, or affection, or gratefulness, but they aren't love itself, just the by-products of love. It is very dangerous spiritually to get this confused.



God doesn't come to us and say, "I will give you a life full of positive emotions and feelings." No, He says He will give Himself to us, He will fill us with Himself, and we know that He has, not by an emotion we experience, but by a changed, a transformed life, marked by the work of the Holy Spirit who convicts of sin (John 16:8), illuminates God's truth to us (John 14:26; 1 Corinthians 2:10-13), strengthens us in times of temptation and trial (Romans 8:13; Ephesians 3:16; Philippians 2:13), and shapes in us the character of Jesus (Romans 8:29; Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Corinthians 3:18).

Walking with God is a life-changing thing, not merely a collection of warm, emotional fuzzies. It is a serious problem if you aren't being transformed by God; it is a comparatively trivial thing if you don't have high positive emotions all the time as His child.

I’m sorry if I got confused,I really am,it’s just that this last week has been extremely hard on me,how can I be sure Christ is working in my life?, how can I know he is helping me and loves me? If I did something wrong,how can I ask God to help me fix it?

 

[anna ~ grace]

You still love God even though your emotions are tipsy-turvy from your anxiety the past week. Take a few deep breaths and settle into a chair and let your emotions settle too. Chances are you will be praising the Lord.

I know you feel strongly many times but take them captive, let them flow away from you. The thoughts and feelings are not the whole story. Gods love is in you.

This.

 

[anna ~ grace]

I’m sorry if I got confused,I really am,it’s just that this last week has been extremely hard on me,how can I be sure Christ is working in my life?, how can I know he is helping me and loves me?

The fact that you are seeking Him and talking to Him and trusting Him even in the midst of incredible emotional and psychological pain is proof that Christ is working in your life, brother.

He loves you; He died for you. That is the proof that He loves us. His wounded hands, feet, and side tell us this. He loves us, and He is alive.

 

[Blaise N]

Why? Why did it "break your heart deeply"?



No, what you did was confess, not repent. See:

Crocodile Tears.



What was "Christ's work"? Your confession of your lack of love for God and the wrongness of it? That you are feeling better in your mind?



Friend, love isn't an emotion; love, at bottom, is desire. You love Jesus when and if you desire him:

Philippians 3:7-8
7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

Psalm 63:1
1 O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 42:1-2
1 As the deer pants for the water brooks, So my soul pants for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come and appear before God?

A deep desire for God - a love for Him - might lead to certain emotions of joy, or affection, or gratefulness, but they aren't love itself, just the by-products of love. It is very dangerous spiritually to get this confused.



God doesn't come to us and say, "I will give you a life full of positive emotions and feelings." No, He says He will give Himself to us, He will fill us with Himself, and we know that He has, not by an emotion we experience, but by a changed, a transformed life, marked by the work of the Holy Spirit who convicts of sin (John 16:8), illuminates God's truth to us (John 14:26; 1 Corinthians 2:10-13), strengthens us in times of temptation and trial (Romans 8:13; Ephesians 3:16; Philippians 2:13), and shapes in us the character of Jesus (Romans 8:29; Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Corinthians 3:18).

Walking with God is a life-changing thing, not merely a collection of warm, emotional fuzzies. It is a serious problem if you aren't being transformed by God; it is a comparatively trivial thing if you don't have high positive emotions all the time as His child.

However I did pray to him to give me a desire in my heart to desire him,and today I desire him.

 

[Bobber]

Hi everyone,

mix like to say today has been great,since the past week I’ve had tremendous anxiety.And last night I had a very emotional breakdown.Last night I confessed to God that I had no desire for him,no want,and no love for him,and it broke my heart deeply.I told myself I can’t believe I’ve backslidden and pushed him away,so I asked him to break my heart and create me anew heart,to please come back and please be apart of my life again;I repented.And upon waking up today,I’ve felt so much better,for the first half of my day I’ve firmly believed it was Christ’s work,I can ask myself “Do you believe in Jesus” and I can say YES confidently,and I feel love for him!,but some Anxiety still is here and I’m worried that “What if I’m experiencing peace because I’ve asked Jesus to leave?” “What if it isn’t Jesus’s work and it’s just my medicine catching up?” “What if I’m having peace because I no longer have faith?” And it’s distressing.I want to come back to my first love;Jesus.Can someone help?,I told Jesus that I never again would push him away.

Blaise let me tell you a story. Many, many years ago when my daughters were young teenagers one of them yelled at me, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" My heart was broke. I went out to pray. I had what I call a vision from God....it was an image on our one dollar coin. (In Canada we called it a Looney)

I believe I heard God say to me then, "If you had a looney for every time a young person has told a parent they hate them....how much money would you have? Well my thought back to the Lord was I'm sure I'd be a millionaire. Well exactly. But did those kids REALLY I mean REALLY hate their parent. NO. Things are said in moment of being upset that one is wise not to take too seriously.

My point? God gets this. He understands people blurt out things, dumb things, stupid things, crazy things in moment of being upset that doesn't REALLY reflect what's in their heart. What God does is watch what you do from a longevity perspective. Does one feel bad or remorse because of what one said and want to get things back in line and make things right? Sure many, many do and the good news is Blaise....YOU'RE ONE SUCH ONE. How do I know? For you did that very thing. You felt bad and remorse and you wanted to come back. God accepts you so let your heart have PEACE.

 

[Bobber]

Hi everyone,
I repented.And upon waking up today,I’ve felt so much better,for the first half of my day I’ve firmly believed it was Christ’s work,I can ask myself “Do you believe in Jesus” and I can say YES confidently,and I feel love for him!,but some Anxiety still is here and I’m worried that “What if I’m experiencing peace because I’ve asked Jesus to leave?”

So let me suggest to you this. Even if you woke up today and you didn't feel any better you can still rightly say I LOVE GOD. LOVE isn't just a feeling LOVE is a commitment where on is locked into a commitment to the other ONE. If you make sure you measure out your LOVE to God by being obedient you're in a very good place.

Remember Jesus asked Peter three times, "Do you love me Peter?" "Oh yes Lord sure I do!" "OK then feed my sheep!" "Do you love me Peter?" "Oh yes Lord sure I do!" "OK then feed my sheep!" Again the third time, "Do you love me Peter?" "Oh yes Lord sure I do!" "OK then feed my sheep!" (based on Jn 21:17) In other words LOVE to me is reflected by you choosing to obey me. I've called you into the ministry. Will you obey?" Will you allow your life to come into alignment with what I say? Talk is cheap. Many, many say I love God AND....might even FEEL that they do. God looks however at what you and I do, not by what you and I FEEL or SAY.

 

[aiki]

I’m sorry if I got confused,I really am,

Sorry? To whom? Not to me, I hope. You don't need to apologize to me about being confused.

how can I be sure Christ is working in my life?, how can I know he is helping me and loves me?

How can you be sure Christ is working in your life?

Well, simply examine your life for the presence and work of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Christ.

Are you convicted about your sin by God? I don't mean do you feel guilty but, rather, when you sin, does the Spirit move you to confess and forsake that sin so that your fellowship with God is not hindered?

When you study God's word, the Bible, does the Spirit teach you its meaning, showing you how to apply it to your life?

When you are tempted and tried, or find yourself in the midst of trouble, and submit yourself to the Spirit in response, does he strengthen and stabilize you, enabling you to endure well?

Can you look back over the last, say, six months and see a change that the Spirit has made in you, making you ever more like Jesus?

These are some of the things you can see when the Spirit of Christ, is in your life.

How can you know God is helping you?

What happens when you are in need of His help? Do you get it? If not, why not, do you think? Sometimes, God is prevented from helping us because we aren't yielded to Him, submitted to His will and way throughout every day. Sometimes we don't get God's help because we are asking for help with something, or asking for help in a particular way, that doesn't truly honor God.

How do you know God loves you?

Because He took on human form in the Person of Jesus and died on a cross in horrible agony to atone for your sin so that you might be reconciled to Himself. Does He have to do more yet to show you He loves you?

However I did pray to him to give me a desire in my heart to desire him,and today I desire him.

It's a good start! Fan that flame of desire into something greater by investing in your relationship with God. This is how all relationships grow and deepen, right?