DeerAntler

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I’m 24. Growing up I had great faith, believed in God wholeheartedly. Went to Catholic school until 2nd grade when we moved to a much smaller town without one. Until 2014 I would pray often and throughout the day. I loved God SO much and was very tender hearted when it came to Him. I don’t know how to truly describe that, but just if God came up, if we’re in church, if I’m listening to a Christian song and a line struck me as even semi-sweet, I’d tear up because of how much I loved God and appreciated the life he had given me and the sacrifice Jesus made for me.
For whatever reason in 2014 I suddenly began to feel my faith fade. I saw a post on fb about Christians not realizing their prayers are basically like writing a letter to Santa(no point, not real) and it made me think a bit, “is that really how we’re viewed. What if that is the case and we’re all just praying to nothing”, a few months later I started to take some science classes and it bothered me more, learning about molecular biology, or learning about all of the different chemicals, it just seemed a little bit beyond the God I knew in my head who was more big picture and not so much adenine, guanine etc. It all came to a head over a stupid buzzfeed video of all things which showed the size of earth in comparison to other planets/stars (tiny, and just kept getting tinier). I don’t know why but watching the video made me think “there is no way this is all God”.
Shortly after I realized I didn’t think I believed in God anymore. I would cry over how much I missed God and my strong, no doubt about it, faith. I was so blissfully happy and never EVER doubted anything before 2014. I would go through few week spurts of going to church again but I’d ultimately end up stopping. I felt like I was wasting my time and that I didn’t truly believe anymore. I would try to pray but I really did feel like I was writing a letter to Santa. I felt silly and like there was nothing there.
Fast forward to now. I want my faith back. When I go to places and there is a prayer said before the event I shed a tear or two. I would have before because of my love for God and the feeling of unity in everyone praying. Now I shed a tear because I’m jealous of everyone with unwavering faith. I had that too and loved it and now it’s gone, why? Today I went to church in the town I’ve moved to and registered as a parishioner. I teared up many times in mass over things that touched my heart and again jealousy. went to the office and asked about bible study or any groups I could join. I came home and followed several Catholic fb pages and groups in my area.
And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Thank you thank you, and sorry for talking your ear off.
 

maintenance man

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And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Thank you thank you, and sorry for talking your ear off.

Thanks for sharing your story! I have not been in this situation, but I did not come to faith in Jesus Christ until the age of 30 so I spent quite a bit of time pretending God did no exist - or thinking God is something other than what is portrayed in the Bible.

It honestly sounds to me like you've always had faith, but you turned your back on it for a while - likely because you were targeted by the devil for your child-like faith. The devil doesn't like to see people with "great faith."

God took you down that dark path for a reason, but the veil has been lifted and you can once again see the truth. That's a beautiful thing!

Open your Bible and read - that is the best place to connect with God.

Pray asking God why you traveled that dark road. Look for opportunities to put your experience to work for God. Serving God by serving others is the second best way to connect with God.

My faith grew out of Bible reading and clear instruction from great Bible teachers. That would be the path I would suggest.
 
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HTacianas

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I’m 24. Growing up I had great faith, believed in God wholeheartedly. Went to Catholic school until 2nd grade when we moved to a much smaller town without one. Until 2014 I would pray often and throughout the day. I loved God SO much and was very tender hearted when it came to Him. I don’t know how to truly describe that, but just if God came up, if we’re in church, if I’m listening to a Christian song and a line struck me as even semi-sweet, I’d tear up because of how much I loved God and appreciated the life he had given me and the sacrifice Jesus made for me.
For whatever reason in 2014 I suddenly began to feel my faith fade. I saw a post on fb about Christians not realizing their prayers are basically like writing a letter to Santa(no point, not real) and it made me think a bit, “is that really how we’re viewed. What if that is the case and we’re all just praying to nothing”, a few months later I started to take some science classes and it bothered me more, learning about molecular biology, or learning about all of the different chemicals, it just seemed a little bit beyond the God I knew in my head who was more big picture and not so much adenine, guanine etc. It all came to a head over a stupid buzzfeed video of all things which showed the size of earth in comparison to other planets/stars (tiny, and just kept getting tinier). I don’t know why but watching the video made me think “there is no way this is all God”.
Shortly after I realized I didn’t think I believed in God anymore. I would cry over how much I missed God and my strong, no doubt about it, faith. I was so blissfully happy and never EVER doubted anything before 2014. I would go through few week spurts of going to church again but I’d ultimately end up stopping. I felt like I was wasting my time and that I didn’t truly believe anymore. I would try to pray but I really did feel like I was writing a letter to Santa. I felt silly and like there was nothing there.
Fast forward to now. I want my faith back. When I go to places and there is a prayer said before the event I shed a tear or two. I would have before because of my love for God and the feeling of unity in everyone praying. Now I shed a tear because I’m jealous of everyone with unwavering faith. I had that too and loved it and now it’s gone, why? Today I went to church in the town I’ve moved to and registered as a parishioner. I teared up many times in mass over things that touched my heart and again jealousy. went to the office and asked about bible study or any groups I could join. I came home and followed several Catholic fb pages and groups in my area.
And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Thank you thank you, and sorry for talking your ear off.

I can relate to that. You begin to discover how things work, in your case through studying chemistry, and ut seems the "magic" disappears. When I took my first electronics course I never looked at a flashing LED the same way again.

But in my case it was the study of man made things and not earth sciences, but the priciple is the same. Because I can deconstruct a CD player and reconstruct it doesn't mean no one created the CD player.

Or put a different way, when I learned how a fuel injector worked I didn't begin doubting the existence of Ford Motor Company.
 
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Sparagmos

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I’m 24. Growing up I had great faith, believed in God wholeheartedly. Went to Catholic school until 2nd grade when we moved to a much smaller town without one. Until 2014 I would pray often and throughout the day. I loved God SO much and was very tender hearted when it came to Him. I don’t know how to truly describe that, but just if God came up, if we’re in church, if I’m listening to a Christian song and a line struck me as even semi-sweet, I’d tear up because of how much I loved God and appreciated the life he had given me and the sacrifice Jesus made for me.
For whatever reason in 2014 I suddenly began to feel my faith fade. I saw a post on fb about Christians not realizing their prayers are basically like writing a letter to Santa(no point, not real) and it made me think a bit, “is that really how we’re viewed. What if that is the case and we’re all just praying to nothing”, a few months later I started to take some science classes and it bothered me more, learning about molecular biology, or learning about all of the different chemicals, it just seemed a little bit beyond the God I knew in my head who was more big picture and not so much adenine, guanine etc. It all came to a head over a stupid buzzfeed video of all things which showed the size of earth in comparison to other planets/stars (tiny, and just kept getting tinier). I don’t know why but watching the video made me think “there is no way this is all God”.
Shortly after I realized I didn’t think I believed in God anymore. I would cry over how much I missed God and my strong, no doubt about it, faith. I was so blissfully happy and never EVER doubted anything before 2014. I would go through few week spurts of going to church again but I’d ultimately end up stopping. I felt like I was wasting my time and that I didn’t truly believe anymore. I would try to pray but I really did feel like I was writing a letter to Santa. I felt silly and like there was nothing there.
Fast forward to now. I want my faith back. When I go to places and there is a prayer said before the event I shed a tear or two. I would have before because of my love for God and the feeling of unity in everyone praying. Now I shed a tear because I’m jealous of everyone with unwavering faith. I had that too and loved it and now it’s gone, why? Today I went to church in the town I’ve moved to and registered as a parishioner. I teared up many times in mass over things that touched my heart and again jealousy. went to the office and asked about bible study or any groups I could join. I came home and followed several Catholic fb pages and groups in my area.
And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Thank you thank you, and sorry for talking your ear off.
Trust your heart. IMO you are being given an awareness that god is more, not less, than what you previously believed. Continue to study the earth, science, and listen with openness to other ideas. You cannot be corrupted, as long as you trust the trees that bear good fruit. The experience of god you describe is that of a mystic. You do not need to be limited by the narrow view of god you grew up with. You might enjoy reading the writings of some of the mystics, they helped me a lot on my journey.
 
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Tolworth John

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I loved God SO much and was very tender hearted when it came to Him

And what about Jesus?
Salvation is through him and him only. Your emotional love of God is pointless if you donot know Jesus.
 
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dqhall

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I’m 24. Growing up I had great faith, believed in God wholeheartedly. Went to Catholic school until 2nd grade when we moved to a much smaller town without one. Until 2014 I would pray often and throughout the day. I loved God SO much and was very tender hearted when it came to Him. I don’t know how to truly describe that, but just if God came up, if we’re in church, if I’m listening to a Christian song and a line struck me as even semi-sweet, I’d tear up because of how much I loved God and appreciated the life he had given me and the sacrifice Jesus made for me.
For whatever reason in 2014 I suddenly began to feel my faith fade. I saw a post on fb about Christians not realizing their prayers are basically like writing a letter to Santa(no point, not real) and it made me think a bit, “is that really how we’re viewed. What if that is the case and we’re all just praying to nothing”, a few months later I started to take some science classes and it bothered me more, learning about molecular biology, or learning about all of the different chemicals, it just seemed a little bit beyond the God I knew in my head who was more big picture and not so much adenine, guanine etc. It all came to a head over a stupid buzzfeed video of all things which showed the size of earth in comparison to other planets/stars (tiny, and just kept getting tinier). I don’t know why but watching the video made me think “there is no way this is all God”.
Shortly after I realized I didn’t think I believed in God anymore. I would cry over how much I missed God and my strong, no doubt about it, faith. I was so blissfully happy and never EVER doubted anything before 2014. I would go through few week spurts of going to church again but I’d ultimately end up stopping. I felt like I was wasting my time and that I didn’t truly believe anymore. I would try to pray but I really did feel like I was writing a letter to Santa. I felt silly and like there was nothing there.
Fast forward to now. I want my faith back. When I go to places and there is a prayer said before the event I shed a tear or two. I would have before because of my love for God and the feeling of unity in everyone praying. Now I shed a tear because I’m jealous of everyone with unwavering faith. I had that too and loved it and now it’s gone, why? Today I went to church in the town I’ve moved to and registered as a parishioner. I teared up many times in mass over things that touched my heart and again jealousy. went to the office and asked about bible study or any groups I could join. I came home and followed several Catholic fb pages and groups in my area.
And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Thank you thank you, and sorry for talking your ear off.
I was at a place where I perceived I did not know God well. I decided to read the Gospels over and over. Eventually I read beyond the NT. Sometimes I turned the TV off and was reading pages like a college student making good grades.
 
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Willing-heart

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It is our relationship with God that determines how wise we are. While Peter was somewhere wallowing in his sorrow, John alone came back to the cross. While Thomas was somewhere covered with doubt like a blanket, John alone came back to the cross. While Judas was out there taking his own life, John alone came to the cross. John always referred to himself as the disciple who is closest to Jesus, whom Jesus loved. And someone may ask Does Jesus really have favourites? Absolutely not! The reason John was close to Jesus was because John wanted to be close to Jesus. You can be as close to Jesus as you want to be as close to Jesus. When we draw close to Him, He draws close to us (James 4:8).

The Cry of Wisdom.
 
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