I’m 24. Growing up I had great faith, believed in God wholeheartedly. Went to Catholic school until 2nd grade when we moved to a much smaller town without one. Until 2014 I would pray often and throughout the day. I loved God SO much and was very tender hearted when it came to Him. I don’t know how to truly describe that, but just if God came up, if we’re in church, if I’m listening to a Christian song and a line struck me as even semi-sweet, I’d tear up because of how much I loved God and appreciated the life he had given me and the sacrifice Jesus made for me.
For whatever reason in 2014 I suddenly began to feel my faith fade. I saw a post on fb about Christians not realizing their prayers are basically like writing a letter to Santa(no point, not real) and it made me think a bit, “is that really how we’re viewed. What if that is the case and we’re all just praying to nothing”, a few months later I started to take some science classes and it bothered me more, learning about molecular biology, or learning about all of the different chemicals, it just seemed a little bit beyond the God I knew in my head who was more big picture and not so much adenine, guanine etc. It all came to a head over a stupid buzzfeed video of all things which showed the size of earth in comparison to other planets/stars (tiny, and just kept getting tinier). I don’t know why but watching the video made me think “there is no way this is all God”.
Shortly after I realized I didn’t think I believed in God anymore. I would cry over how much I missed God and my strong, no doubt about it, faith. I was so blissfully happy and never EVER doubted anything before 2014. I would go through few week spurts of going to church again but I’d ultimately end up stopping. I felt like I was wasting my time and that I didn’t truly believe anymore. I would try to pray but I really did feel like I was writing a letter to Santa. I felt silly and like there was nothing there.
Fast forward to now. I want my faith back. When I go to places and there is a prayer said before the event I shed a tear or two. I would have before because of my love for God and the feeling of unity in everyone praying. Now I shed a tear because I’m jealous of everyone with unwavering faith. I had that too and loved it and now it’s gone, why? Today I went to church in the town I’ve moved to and registered as a parishioner. I teared up many times in mass over things that touched my heart and again jealousy. went to the office and asked about bible study or any groups I could join. I came home and followed several Catholic fb pages and groups in my area.
And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Thank you thank you, and sorry for talking your ear off.
For whatever reason in 2014 I suddenly began to feel my faith fade. I saw a post on fb about Christians not realizing their prayers are basically like writing a letter to Santa(no point, not real) and it made me think a bit, “is that really how we’re viewed. What if that is the case and we’re all just praying to nothing”, a few months later I started to take some science classes and it bothered me more, learning about molecular biology, or learning about all of the different chemicals, it just seemed a little bit beyond the God I knew in my head who was more big picture and not so much adenine, guanine etc. It all came to a head over a stupid buzzfeed video of all things which showed the size of earth in comparison to other planets/stars (tiny, and just kept getting tinier). I don’t know why but watching the video made me think “there is no way this is all God”.
Shortly after I realized I didn’t think I believed in God anymore. I would cry over how much I missed God and my strong, no doubt about it, faith. I was so blissfully happy and never EVER doubted anything before 2014. I would go through few week spurts of going to church again but I’d ultimately end up stopping. I felt like I was wasting my time and that I didn’t truly believe anymore. I would try to pray but I really did feel like I was writing a letter to Santa. I felt silly and like there was nothing there.
Fast forward to now. I want my faith back. When I go to places and there is a prayer said before the event I shed a tear or two. I would have before because of my love for God and the feeling of unity in everyone praying. Now I shed a tear because I’m jealous of everyone with unwavering faith. I had that too and loved it and now it’s gone, why? Today I went to church in the town I’ve moved to and registered as a parishioner. I teared up many times in mass over things that touched my heart and again jealousy. went to the office and asked about bible study or any groups I could join. I came home and followed several Catholic fb pages and groups in my area.
And at the end of this long post, thanks for sticking through it btw, I’m asking for advice. Has anyone been here before? How did you get out of it? Or what grew your faith, what made your faith stronger? Book suggestions? Podcast suggestions? Thought suggestions? Tell me why you believe or what made you believe again? I need every bit of advice I can get because I’m determined to get the faith back.
Thank you thank you, and sorry for talking your ear off.