failing to stay clean

[LikelyUnworthy]

ok...so..i need help..i guess prayer more like it. Its a bit of a long story, and i wont get to detailed, because i know no one likes to read long entrys. However, about 6 months ago, i attempted suicide, and failed (obviously) I was sent to detox, for 24 hour surveliance. While in detox, i made friends with a lot of addicts to many differnt things. When i was released from detox, i was homeless. I had nowhere to turn, so i turned to my new addict friends. Which, only lead me to getting heavily into many drugs. I started shooting up Heroine, Cocaine, Oxycottons, and many many other drugs. As i also turned to alcohol on a regular basis. I am now in florida, and am semi-clean. However, i manage to get my hands on lortabs and other pills on a regular basis. I tend to get drunk often, relying on alcohol on popping pills to help numb the pain of the life i have lived. I also have lately become addicted to nyquil. Yes, i know, it sounds quite redicoulous, however, i cant sleep unless i have had some. Anyway, i guess the point in my post is to see if theres anyone out there who understands how difficult it is to have to leave behind drugs that seem to be the only thing that make your life worthwhile.

 

[Annoula]

My dear...

it seems you are in a very difficult situation.

life is certainly worth living, and it is a greaty pitty that you didn't have people around you to show you that. God wanted you to live in this life and certainly not in this mess.

one thing comes to my mind right now... what if you managed to drop all this and found new resources that would help you build your life anew. you will have the experience from all this "bad" life and you will be the perfect example for any other person to give it a try and take themselves out of there.

i understand this is not an easy thing to do. it requires great strength to fight and great patience to not stop before a failure.

staying with your detox friends is very bad. you need to find people that have nothing to do with this way of life.
are you willing to take a huge step and ask for help in a church, a foster home, anywhere far away from where you are now (location and people)?

cause if you are... turn off the computer, go out, and start looking for a new "safe" place.

You are a valuable and precious person and you deserve to treat yourself with the best way possible. You have to fight for yourself. Do not hesitate.

i would really like to know more about you and listen to your life.
please pm me if you want.

hugs and love,

Anna

 

[marieg]

Hi LikelyUnworthy,

Are there any christian rehabs were you are now, they can be the most effective in helping you to stay off drugs. My daughter was on crack and heroine, the Lord helped her to come off and stay off. She has been clean for nearly four years. I myself was a support worker with addicts of every discription in a christian rehab and saw many people stay clean once the Lord dealt with all the issues surrounding taking drugs. I would really adivise you you to find a long term rehab were you can deal with all your issues and then they may be able to find you somewhere to live. I will pray for you, and ask the Lord to direct your steps.

marieg

 

[madison1101]

There are plenty of people who have trouble letting go of drugs and alcohol. A good rehab can help you detox from the chemicals you are on right now. Then, with some support and therapy, you can learn to live clean and sober. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous to get sober. I now have 4 years without drugs or alcohol.

How serious are you about getting clean? If you really don't want to, then it won't happen.

Trish

 

[chilehed]

LikelyUnworthy,

You're certainly not alone. My life was ruled by drugs for about 12 years, I did most everything you could care to name but the important part wasn't the particular drug it was the lost emptiness I had inside.

I got clean in Florida, there's a lot of good NA and AA groups I'm sure you can find, especially if you live in a large city. Go to a meeting every day, go early and stay late, go for coffee afterward even if you can't order any. Get phone numbers from WOMEN who have clean time and use the numbers, and find a sponsor from among them. Steer clear of any guys who come sniffing around, anyone who hits on a newcomer has a lousy program so avoid them like the plague. And no matter what, DON'T USE! CALL PEOPLE.

I've been clean for 18 years now, and it's been so long since I ached to get high that I don't remember when it was. You can do it too, just don't give up.

 

[LikelyUnworthy]

i think thats the hardest part....the cravings...im pretty much clean from all the "heavier" stuff...now its just the pills and the alcohol. however, i seem to have been doing well. Been clean for 10 days. minus a beer here and there....so thanx for the prayers guys. it seems to be helping.

 

[madison1101]

If you have had a beer now and then, you have not been clean.

Going to NA or AA you can learn to deal with the cravings and replace the urges with a new life.

God bless.
Trish

 

[chilehed]

I have to agree with madison. I might have a favorite cocktail of dope but my disease doesn't, alcohol and weed is just as bad for me as acid and opium. If you want to recover, you need to stop using all drugs.

One thing: I'm not a doctor or a pharmacist, but I'm aware that there are some pills that can cause very serious issues when detoxing. I don't know what you've been doing or how much, but it would be a good idea to talk to a physician about what's going on. You may need medical supervision. Start NOW.

The grace of our Lord be with you.

 

[Zita123]

Please try and keep with the program and when you have a beer here and there, well, start thinking that, that's cheating and pretty soon you'll be feeling guilty for that 1 little beer here and there.
When you do go off the end...Just get up, dust yourself off and keep going starting all over again!
A slip is just that ,..a slip..
But, a here and there that's not good. I pray for you to see that GOD can help you all you have to do is ask!!
GOD BLESS
Zita

i think thats the hardest part....the cravings...im pretty much clean from all the "heavier" stuff...now its just the pills and the alcohol. however, i seem to have been doing well. Been clean for 10 days. minus a beer here and there....so thanx for the prayers guys. it seems to be helping.

 

[SpankyW2]

One is to many, and a thousand is not enough.

 

[cajunlady]

I agree with all the replies to this thread and urge you to follow the suggestions that were given to you. May God bless you honey. I will be praying for you...

 

[HawaiianTropicalDude]

ugh,I don't know what to say...it's all too rough to deal with.

 

[Akathist]

Thread closed as it is an old thread and has some posts that would currently be rule violations.