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Facts, assumptions and judgments

Discussion in 'Spirit-Filled / Charismatic' started by Svt4Him, May 20, 2011.

  1. Svt4Him

    Svt4Him Legend Supporter

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    You come into my office for a meeting. During the meeting, all I do is type into my iphone, look at my watch, with my feet on the desk.

    What can you tell me about what I'm doing?

    If you asked people that, you'd say I was distracted, wasn't paying attention, wasn't interested in what you had to say, perhaps was arrogant or rude. How much of this is true, how much an assumption versue how much a judgment? And do we do it while reading posts?

    The facts are I was typing on my iphone, looking at my watch and had my feet on the desk. That's it. What you took that to mean is your assumption, that I'm distracted, not paying attention or wasn't interested. What that makes me, based on your assumption, is a judgment, I am arrogant or I am rude.

    I'm wondering, when posting, how much do we assume, how much do we judge and how does that affect our response, and if we're even aware of it. Not only that, but what about in our normal day to day activities. Then I wonder how that affects our Christian walk.

    Yup, these are the kind of things I think about. :D
     
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  2. Yitzchak

    Yitzchak יצחק

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    I think about things like that too. Here is something to add to your thought.

    People have expectations based upon the norms of their culture. A corporate judgment rather than an individual one. In certain situations , certain responses are expected.

    For example , if someone says help to someone else , they are expected to acknowledge that someone spoke to them and usually expected to respond. In that context , it is not enough to just state the facts that someone stood their in silence doing and saying nothing. Context matters and without it facts are incomplete in and of themselves.

    In other words , while more difficult to precisely pin down , the norms of society and what people expect in certain situations are a part of the facts too.

    When I think of the situation that you describe , I think of the merging of corporate and individual behaviors and expectations.
     
  3. Yitzchak

    Yitzchak יצחק

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    In other words , when we interact with others and when what we do effects and affects others , then the facts are more complex.
     
  4. Simon_Templar

    Simon_Templar Not all who wander are lost

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    how about if I told you to shut up and go jump in a lake.... but I had secretly decided that to me, shut up was a idiomatic saying meaning to close up your house securely and go jump in a lake was and idiom meaning take a vacation to a nice location....

    and when I said it I had a scowl on my face... but I had also decided that scowling showed my concern that you enjoy yourself on the vacation I was recommending?

    :confused:
    ;)
     
  5. Svt4Him

    Svt4Him Legend Supporter

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    The funny thing, and something I'm realizing, is we judge our own behaviour by our intent, we judge others by how it affects us. I think that's a profound statement, now I just have to see if it's true. See, if you did tell me to shut up, and your intent was humourous, you wouldn't feel bad.

    I also think that's why you see people say things like "I didn't mean to" or "that was not my intention". That is trying to get someone else to realize our intent.
     
  6. Usernametaken

    Usernametaken Pastor is a title, not part of a name.

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    Ever consider taking up a hobby ? Seems it would be time better spent.
     
  7. JimB

    JimB Legend

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    I wouldn’t know whether you were “distracted, weren't paying attention, weren't interested in what I had to say, perhaps was arrogant” or not. But I think I would safely say you were rude and I would probably never want to (try to) carry on a conversation with you again.

    But you are right, many on this forum jump to misconclusions.

    ~Jim
    I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen,
    not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
    ~C.S. Lewis
     
  8. Svt4Him

    Svt4Him Legend Supporter

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    My friend Chris said because he has such extreme ADD, he can't pay attention to someone unless he's doing a couple of different things. Would it be right to say he's rude, or would it be right to ask to clarrify why before jumping to a conclusion? If I knew that before, would it change my judgment? His wife is also waiting for some results as she's been in amazing pain for well over 16 weeks, would that change? Probably not, because again we judge on how it makes us feel, not their intent.

    I agree with you though, when I was asked the question, I said rude as well. But that is a judgment based on an assumption. For instance, if I went to a restaurant, and was served well, with a friend who then didn't leave a tipm, I'd think he was cheap. What I didn't understand was he was from a culture that doesn't tip (australia) therefore his intent was different than what I assumed.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2011
  9. Child of JC

    Child of JC Created to Love, and be Loved

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    I disagree. A Very high percentage of the problems in the church come down to relationship problems and miscommunication. Therefore, thinking on these things seems more fruitful (to me), than any other hobby.
     
  10. Mixolydian

    Mixolydian Lord I believe; help my unbelief.

    +80
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    Assumptions are especially dangerous online without the visual and aural cues from a face to face encounter. Even the emoticons can be misleading.

    I strive not to assume malice on the part of anyone here at CF because of that problem. When malice is obvious though the Christian fallback for me is always "forgive everyone, everything."
     
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