Extreme Guilt Over Masturbation

[Hope Mikaelson]

This weekend I've really been struggling, I had gone quite a while without any masturbation or inappropriate content use. but Friday I watched inappropriate content and masturbated and started to hate myself for doing so. Then Saturday the self loathing got so bad I did the only thing I could think of to stop feeling bad about my self. touch and look at inappropriate content again several times. Which made me even more depressed so I drank a whole bottle of wine last night to stop feeling bad.

So I've been thinking, God doesn't want me to feel this way right? This extreme guilt is causing me to self destruct.

I'm tired of beating myself up over this, and in fact, I once went 3 years without masturbation or inappropriate content, but it just isn't sustainable.

So I figure, what's so wrong with allowing myself to touch just without any visual stimulation? Why did God allow King David to have multiple wives and concubines and call him a man after God's own heart? In fact, after David fornicated with Bathsheba, God said if it was more women David desired, he would have given David MORE wives! And if David had concubines, that means he was having sex before marriage right? And in fact, he never married those concubines.

In the New Testament the vast majority of the verses about sexual immorality have to do with either adultery or homosexuality, I don't think masturbation is ever specifically mentioned. Either way, I wish I could never touch, but I'm just at a point now where I think I have to accept it and allow myself to do that. I pray for the Lord to give me a wife to express my sexual side to.

I have a friend from church who has become my accountability partner, and well he claims that with practice he's reached a point where he never looks at women any more and never masturbates. But he also is engaged and getting married this summer so I suspect it's probably easier to wait when you know you're going to have sex soon ish.

I had already reached that point before, I went 3 years without inappropriate content or masturbation in the past, but it just isn't sustainable for me, sexual desire is too strong. I'm at a breaking point. I hate myself and who I am everyday, and I also struggled with addiction to amphetamines and am only a month sober.

I often feel guilty for even desiring a woman sexually, like I'm somehow violating her just for desiring sex with her. When I watch inappropriate content, I know that if I met her in real life, I wouldn't have sex with her, I just wanna hug her and tell her everything's gonna be all right and that she doesn't have to do inappropriate content even though she feels like she has to.

In the past, I even felt suicidal, because I was THAT guilty about my masturbation and inappropriate content use.

 

[peaceful-forest]

Ask yourself this - why do you watch inappropriate content? Why do you need to touch after watching inappropriate content? What do both of them give you?

I had already reached that point before, I went 3 years without inappropriate content or masturbation in the past, but it just isn't sustainable for me, sexual desire is too strong. I'm at a breaking point. I hate myself and who I am everyday, and I also struggled with addiction to amphetamines and am only a month sober.

Have you prayed to God to help you with your addictions? God can help you overcome these sins and any temptations.

I am also guilty of beating myself up when I commit a sin that I had previously conquered; but throwing away all your progress and going back to the sin is not the solution. Admit you did wrong, then continue your progress to not engage in the sin.

In fact, after David fornicated with Bathsheba, God said if it was more women David desired, he would have given David MORE wives!

Can you list the Bible verses that are you talking about?

 

[Hope Mikaelson]

well, if this sin causes me to feel this bad this consistently for years and years. im starting to question whether its a sin at all. first off, in the bible whenever it talks about sexual immorality it is most of the time in the context of adultery, or homosexuality. And I'm even questioning whether Christians really have to wait until marriage, if David had concubines and he clearly didn't wait till marriage yet he was a man after God's own heart. I think this is where following the spirit of the Law becomes more valuable than following the Law to the Letter. Jesus came to fulfill the Law, that we might not be bound by it. In the Old Testament they couldn't even eat bacon, but no Old Testament Law forbade masturbation, so I guess I'm questioning whether it is even a sin. I think that in Matthew 5 when Jesus says you are not to even look at a woman with lust, that He is talking about married men committing adultery, not single men, maybe I'm wrong though.

 

[Saucy]

Yet David's sexual sin with Bathsheeba was his downfall. You are trying to justify your sin by saying it's probably not a sin so you can feel better about doing it. While there is no specific verse relating to masturbation, God does say that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and to not give in to your flesh. I believe this topic was not covered because most people during those days married very young, almost as soon as they hit puberty. They lived as large family communities, worked very hard, and so forth. It may not have been as big of a problem. They also didn't have 24/7 access to smut on TV, internet, billboards, etc.

"Do not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want“ Galatians 5:16–17

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your body” 1 Corinthians 6:19–20

It's not going to be a perfect process. We all struggle with sin and always will. Keeping fighting and growing in your faith. Find another single accountability buddy. Put inappropriate content blocks on your computer and phone.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

So I figure, what's so wrong with allowing myself to touch just without any visual stimulation?

To me, this is your answer. It's better to get that release than chase some hyper-purity we were never designed for and for most people is not realistic.

 

[Saucy]

To me, this is your answer. It's better to get that release than chase some hyper-purity we were never designed for and for most people is not realistic.

We can say that about any sin, like lying. Everybody lies. Do we justify it just because everyone tells a lie? What is realistic when it comes to avoiding any sin that's part of our nature?

 

[Hope Mikaelson]

hey mikhael, i arrived at this conclusion but i find it leads me to looking at women online. and even if i could just touch without any visuals my homie from church would never accept it.

 

[Br4nd0n]

hey mikhael, i arrived at this conclusion but i find it leads me to looking at women online. and even if i could just touch without any visuals my homie from church would never accept it.

It needs to be the Spirit that gives you new desires. you will never abstain by means of your own strength

 

[Br4nd0n]

To me, this is your answer. It's better to get that release than chase some hyper-purity we were never designed for and for most people is not realistic.

Straight up. This sounds satanic.

 

[Hope Mikaelson]

It needs to be the Spirit that gives you new desires. you will never abstain by means of your own strength

Plz pray 4 me

 

[BillMcEnaney]

Men / Women | IntegrityRestored.com

 

[BillMcEnaney]

To me, this is your answer. It's better to get that release than chase some hyper-purity we were never designed for and for most people is not realistic.

How do I help our friend by saying, "Keep doing what's making you suffer?"

 

[typingsound]

Plz pray 4 me

I am really sorry to hear you are struggling, brother. It is too easy for us as Christians to give overly idealistic and often unrealistic answers to these sorts of questions. What you are going through is a real struggle, and it is a struggle that is shared by the majority of males, even Christian males all through the kingdom. So know this, that you are not alone in it.

Other Christians may expect you to just turn it off like a light switch, but honestly I don't think that God himself is that stupid! We do not suddenly become perfect at the moment of baptism! Any Christian with a lick of common sense, and real experience on the journey with Christ, knows that holiness is a life-long process. We highly likely will not reach moral perfection in this life. Even the best things we do in this life, they will still be like filthy rags before the Holy God.

I think that keeping this in mind, that your heart transformation is a life-long process, is so important. Otherwise, you are relating to Christianity like its just a moral code, a list of do's and dont's, rather than a relationship. So you need to know that. Just try your best to focus on Jesus and try your best just to keep in mind the things that are best for you, things that are good and holy, but when you fall down, you must know that you are not condemned by God. Just get back up as soon as you can and come back to Jesus. That's honestly all you can do.

Stay close to Jesus and through proximity, he will change you heart over time, but it's a lifelong journey and a long process. God is so patient and kind with us. He commands us to forgive each other 70 times 7, basically every time we forgive, and that's how he forgives us, there is no end to it. You can trust Him to carry on the work he begun in you until it's complete.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

How do I help our friend by saying, "Keep doing what's making you suffer?"

I'm sensing from the OP it's the combination of the two that is the problem. I think it would really help a lot if he could learn to divorce one from the other. I don't think masturbation unto itself is the problem.

 

[Dave G.]

Scripture speaks of when a man releases fluid ( most commentaries and even some bible versions place this as meaning sperm) that he must wash with water. He will remain unclean till evening that day. That's about the extent of guilt placed on this act and you can find the verse in Leviticus 15 all around the 16th verse.. Most guilt is placed in folks over this because someplace along the way people have told them it's shameful or sinful or both. And that's carried through life.

inappropriate content is a different issue. Release of sperm is something made by God, you deal with Him on how it goes down. But inappropriate content is straight from the pit, it's run by demonic powers and has a spirit behind it. It's dangerous to mankind, from those who perform ( and make no mistake it's just performances), who are trapped in the business end of it, down to those who view it. The viewing of It can be broken very easily, you don't click the site !! To do so is to be one on one with the enemy.