- Feb 24, 2019
- 2
- 14
- 40
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Divorced
Thank you for taking time to read my story.
15 years ago, at the age of 20 I got Married to the love of my life. We had already had our first child at a young age and knew that we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. So we got married at a church and tied the knot. After getting married we decided to have another child and we were a happy family. My ex wife was the best wife and mother that I could ever ask for. Like any relationship we had our ups and downs, but it never lasted long and we knew we loved eachother. We were happily married for 13 years. She was a Christian when I met her. Her and her family brought me closer to the lord and helped build my faith. We went to church once in a while, but we were both believers.
My ex wife was a stay at home mom while I ran my business to support the family here in Huntington Beach California. It's not cheap here so I worked hard to support the family while she stayed at home to raise the kids. Things were great for years. We were a perfect family that our friends would envy us and tell us how lucky we are to have such a beautiful family. Life was great!
Two and a half years ago she decided that she wanted to start working. She was sick of being a stay at home mom, and wanted to work. Our kids were older now so she thought that it would be a good time to get a job. I told her that it's her choice but my business is doing well and she can stay home with the girls or get a job, whatever makes her happy. She decided to get a job. That's when everything went downhill fast. Real fast!!!
Once she started working she met alot of new friends. They were all in their 20's when she was 32. None of these people had families, and they all partied every weekend. Well, she fell into the trap. She started going out every weekend. She started smoking alot of pot, and drinking alot. The girls and I would beg her to stay home and it made her angry. Eventually she just wouldn't come home at all. She would go out and party with her friends and turn her phone off and avoid our calls. She would crash at their house and we had no idea where she was or what she was doing. The family was a wreck. The girls and I were hurting so bad, and there was nothing we could do. We begged and begged to have our Mom and Wife back, but the.more we begged, the more it pushed her away. Then we started noticing that she was talking to few guys through snapchat. My daughter would see her snapchating guys, and would come tell me about it. If I brought it up to her, she would yell and scream at me and tell me that she can do whatever she wants. There was a lot of situations that happened that just made things worse. She got so drunk one day she fell down the stairs and broke a wine glass all over the floor. She was smoking weed in the backyard and decided to drive my kids around to toilet paper houses. She would hide in the bathroom for up to two hours while she was talking to guys on Snapchat. She bailed on my daughter multiple times when my daughter needed her. She couldn't even go to my daughter's birthday without bringing a friend from work. My daughter specifically asked her to please just be there for her birthday, when we had a bonfire at the beach she had to leave to go smoke weed with her friend while I stayed back with a group of girls to celebrate my daughter's birthday. Things were just getting worse and worse.
The Night Before Easter of 2018 oh, she told me that she needs to go out and run an errand. She said that she would be back in an hour. After 2 hours she never contacted me so I try to reach out to her and she kept declining my phone calls. I would text her and she would not respond to me. I checked the call logs on my T-Mobile bill and notice that she was talking to a guy from work. I know one of the houses that she goes to so I decided to drive over there and see what's going on because at this point I'm so concerned that she is seeing someone else and is checked out. When I get there I see her car in the parking lot. I wait in my car for 1 hour and one in the morning I see her coming walking out of the apartment with another guy. My heart sank, I had the worst anxiety and knew that there was something going on. I got out of the car and confronted the two of them and it was like they saw a ghost. I will never ever forget the expression on her face. She denied that she was doing anything and said that they were just drinking and smoking together. This is still not something that I agree with considering we had Easter brunch with her family the next day and my kids were at home sleeping excited for Easter. It was a very stressful night, there was a lot of yelling, my heart was broken, and she decided that she was not going to come home again and ended up staying with him. That he sure was one of the worst days our family had ever had. Or at least we thought it was... little do we know things were only going to get worse.
All of our family and friends knew that she was slipping down a deep dark hole, everyone tried to talk to her but she did not care what anyone had to say. Her attitude was it's my life and I can do whatever I want. My oldest daughter said that she can't take this anymore. She either needs to get herself together or leave. So many things have happened prior to this that have just made the family go through so much pain that we just could not take it anymore. My daughter could barely get through a day of school without crying oh, and neither could I get through a day of work without crying and thinking about our family falling apart.
My daughter came to me and told me that we need to have an intervention with Mom. Give her the ultimatum and tell her to be more of a mom and a wife or maybe take a break and go to her mom's house and stay there for a while. I was so devastated by everything I didn't know what to do. I talked to my ex-wife's parents, and they agreed and said that we should have an intervention. The only problem is nobody wanted to join because they knew that my ex-wife would blow up at everyone and tell them it's her life she can do whatever she wants. But my oldest daughter was insistent on having this intervention.
About a week later we decided on having a talk with her to see what she wanted to do. We plan to do it on a Friday night. I believe it was May 5th 2018. Little did we know this would be the worst night of our family's life ever!
My daughter could not do it and said that she's too nervous and scared to talk to her. So I had to go at this alone. So I went down to the kitchen to go talk to my ex-wife oh, and it turned into a big argument. There was yelling and screaming and the girls were up there is hearing everything. That is one thing that I do not want is for my kids to hear us argue and fight. My ex-wife got out of control and ended up throwing plates at me, then she hit me in the face 6 times and broke my glasses threw him across the room, and stormed out of the kitchen. At this point I've had it. I will not have that kind of behavior around my children and have my kids thinking that this is how life is. Nor do I want my girls to grow up thinking that it's okay to be treated like that from their spouse. I told my ex-wife that if she doesn't stop I'm going to call the police. She told me to call the police she doesn't care. Well so, I called the police. All I wanted was for the police to come by and have her go to her mom's house. When they showed up they said that unfortunately with the damage to my face, broken plates on the ground, broken glasses, and crying kids, that they have a zero-tolerance in California for domestic violence. They said that unfortunately they're going to have to arrest her. That was not my intent and I did not want her to get arrested but at this point I already called the police, and I did not know what I was getting into. Before the police came she called her parents and told them that there's a situation at the house and that the police are coming. So her parents showed up around the same time that the police did. Her parents started yelling at me and my oldest daughter asking us if we're happy now? My oldest daughter was in my bedroom crying hysterically. She replied to them, does it look like I'm happy this is the worst time our family has ever been through. Then they started telling my oldest daughter that the reason why they're here is because that the kids are going to go to a foster home and they want to make sure they go to the right place. This was so immature for grandparents to come over and act like this when their mom is getting arrested for domestic violence. So that made things even worse. My youngest daughter was crying hysterically and kept asking if I'm okay because I had blood all over my face. That night was the worst night of our entire lives. My ex-wife got arrested and went to jail. Then her parents came back afterwards and started yelling and screaming in front of our house that they wanted some of her stuff. I am laying in my bed holding my two girls as they're crying in my arms. It just wasn't the right time. At this point the girls and I felt like it was all over.
The next day she got bailed out by her parents, and came by the house with the U-Haul truck and picked up all of her stuff. She ended up moving in with her parents. The police, my friends, and family all recommended that I get a temporary restraining order to let things cool down. So the next Monday I went to the court and got a restraining order. It was a 30-day restraining order which in my head I felt like it was a cooling off period. The judge looked at the police report in the pictures that were taken, and granted a restraining order right away. No questions asked. 2 days later she was served with a restraining order at her work.
Two weeks after receiving a restraining order in me trying to keep my family in order, her parents showed up at my house. In front of my kids they served me with divorce papers. I was devastated. Heartbroken. Sad, empty, depressed, every emotion and feeling that you could possibly think of I felt it. All I wanted to do was grow up in a little ball in the corner of my room and cry. I could not let my kids see me this way so I had to hold myself together. I had to be strong. At night when I was all alone by myself I would just pray and cry, I prayed and I cried and prayed and I cried.
Time has gone on now, and day by day we try to heal our hearts. My oldest daughter wants nothing to do with her mother. The courts granted me full custody of my children, and allowed her to visit my youngest daughter 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. Even though she's allowed to see my youngest daughter for 2 days a week 3 hours a day, she only comes by one day a week to take her out for a snack or ice cream and then drops her back off within an hour or two. She still living the party life with her friends, moved into a house with roommates and they drink and smoke everyday. She is living the life that she wanted!
A month after I got served with divorce papers I started getting messages from a girl on Facebook. She said that her husband and my ex-wife have been seeing each other for a long time. We found out that this is the same guy that I caught her with the Night Before Easter. She swears that they were having an affair with each other. I had no idea that my ex-wife was seeing a guy that was also married. Ruining someone else's home. I confronted my ex-wife about it and she denied that she had ever cheated on me.
I booked a trip for the girls and I to go to Hawaii to get our minds off of everything. We went for 14 days. With everything that's happening was probably the best time of my life with my kids. We left everything behind never talked about the situation at all and just had an amazing vacation.
While we are on our vacation my ex-wife contacted me and said that she wants to talk to me when we get back. Two days after we got back we met at the beach to discuss things. I asked her to be honest with me and just tell me what was going on with that guy. She finally admitted that she was cheating on me. That was it! No turning back from this point, I was so heartbroken I could barely sit there and even look at her in the face. I felt like I had to get up and walk away but for some weird reason I stayed to hear her out. But I knew in the back of my head that there's no way that this will ever work out. Cheating is a huge deal breaker for me, I would never cheat on her ever in my life, and it is something I do not agree with that all!
Lots of things have happened since then, but its just too much to explain. Time goes by every day and we try to find peace in this. I am raising my kids all on my own, I am running my business, cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to school, helping out with homework, and even doing mom duties such as taking care of them when they're on their period, or crying in my arms about some boy at school. And there for my kids every day and I will never let them down, ever!
Never in my life did I ever think that I would be depressed. For the last 15 years I love the happiest life I could ever ask for. I loved my ex-wife more than anything in the world, and I love my kids more than anything in the world, and I was such a proud happy husband and father. No I'm lonely. I have no friends, I have dedicated the last 15 years to my family, and have never taking time for myself. At this point I don't even know where to start. My ex-wife is dating that guy, and I go to work every day to support my kids and then come home and cook and clean and take care of them. I don't even have time for myself to even meet people, find new friends, or eventually one day find love again. I'm used to having a spouse with me every day for 15 years, someone to love, someone to take care of, someone to share everyday moments with, someone to laugh with, someone to watch Netflix with, and now I lay on my bed all alone. While I lay on my bed all alone my ex-wife is out partying with her new boyfriend. For the first time in my life I'm depressed... I used to wonder how people could be depressed and I thought life was so great. Now I am probably in the state of my life. Sometimes I just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours just thinking about life, or I just cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I can't sleep and I am gone all night just tossing and turning because I have so many thoughts going through my head. When I see happy couples together I feel like I want to cry. I'm jealous. I want that back in my life again. And I just don't ever see it happening anytime soon. I guess it's just because I've been used to it for 15 years it's so hard to be without someone. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything in the world! We have such a strong bond and we are so close to each other, and they love me so much! I am blessed and I thank God for that all the time! But I am a lover at heart, and I have never been so lonely in my life. The few friends that I do have her all married, and they're so busy with their wives and their families that they don't have time to do anything with me. I just recently started going back to church after getting my head straight, or at least I thought I had my head straight. But sometimes I would start crying and I would have to walk out. it's funny because this never used to be me. in the last 15 years I don't think I've cried about one thing so, now I just can't keep myself together. I don't even know how to meet people at church because I'm so down that I don't know how to approach them or what to say. I need people in my life and I just don't know what to do.
I would be very surprised if anybody read this story. When I started writing this I never thought I would drag on this long. But I guess this just felt like a way for me to get it off my chest. Even if nobody reads this I guess it was good so just get it out there. God works in mysterious ways, and there was something telling me that I should write this tonight.
If you made it this far, I can't thank you enough for getting me out and listen to my story. Set honesty means so much to me. If there's anyone else that has gone to anything similar, you're definitely in my prayers. this is not something that I would wish on my worst enemy. Once again thanks for reading my story. I hope that one day I can find happiness again, and I hope I can figure out a way to find friends in my life.
God bless you all!
15 years ago, at the age of 20 I got Married to the love of my life. We had already had our first child at a young age and knew that we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. So we got married at a church and tied the knot. After getting married we decided to have another child and we were a happy family. My ex wife was the best wife and mother that I could ever ask for. Like any relationship we had our ups and downs, but it never lasted long and we knew we loved eachother. We were happily married for 13 years. She was a Christian when I met her. Her and her family brought me closer to the lord and helped build my faith. We went to church once in a while, but we were both believers.
My ex wife was a stay at home mom while I ran my business to support the family here in Huntington Beach California. It's not cheap here so I worked hard to support the family while she stayed at home to raise the kids. Things were great for years. We were a perfect family that our friends would envy us and tell us how lucky we are to have such a beautiful family. Life was great!
Two and a half years ago she decided that she wanted to start working. She was sick of being a stay at home mom, and wanted to work. Our kids were older now so she thought that it would be a good time to get a job. I told her that it's her choice but my business is doing well and she can stay home with the girls or get a job, whatever makes her happy. She decided to get a job. That's when everything went downhill fast. Real fast!!!
Once she started working she met alot of new friends. They were all in their 20's when she was 32. None of these people had families, and they all partied every weekend. Well, she fell into the trap. She started going out every weekend. She started smoking alot of pot, and drinking alot. The girls and I would beg her to stay home and it made her angry. Eventually she just wouldn't come home at all. She would go out and party with her friends and turn her phone off and avoid our calls. She would crash at their house and we had no idea where she was or what she was doing. The family was a wreck. The girls and I were hurting so bad, and there was nothing we could do. We begged and begged to have our Mom and Wife back, but the.more we begged, the more it pushed her away. Then we started noticing that she was talking to few guys through snapchat. My daughter would see her snapchating guys, and would come tell me about it. If I brought it up to her, she would yell and scream at me and tell me that she can do whatever she wants. There was a lot of situations that happened that just made things worse. She got so drunk one day she fell down the stairs and broke a wine glass all over the floor. She was smoking weed in the backyard and decided to drive my kids around to toilet paper houses. She would hide in the bathroom for up to two hours while she was talking to guys on Snapchat. She bailed on my daughter multiple times when my daughter needed her. She couldn't even go to my daughter's birthday without bringing a friend from work. My daughter specifically asked her to please just be there for her birthday, when we had a bonfire at the beach she had to leave to go smoke weed with her friend while I stayed back with a group of girls to celebrate my daughter's birthday. Things were just getting worse and worse.
The Night Before Easter of 2018 oh, she told me that she needs to go out and run an errand. She said that she would be back in an hour. After 2 hours she never contacted me so I try to reach out to her and she kept declining my phone calls. I would text her and she would not respond to me. I checked the call logs on my T-Mobile bill and notice that she was talking to a guy from work. I know one of the houses that she goes to so I decided to drive over there and see what's going on because at this point I'm so concerned that she is seeing someone else and is checked out. When I get there I see her car in the parking lot. I wait in my car for 1 hour and one in the morning I see her coming walking out of the apartment with another guy. My heart sank, I had the worst anxiety and knew that there was something going on. I got out of the car and confronted the two of them and it was like they saw a ghost. I will never ever forget the expression on her face. She denied that she was doing anything and said that they were just drinking and smoking together. This is still not something that I agree with considering we had Easter brunch with her family the next day and my kids were at home sleeping excited for Easter. It was a very stressful night, there was a lot of yelling, my heart was broken, and she decided that she was not going to come home again and ended up staying with him. That he sure was one of the worst days our family had ever had. Or at least we thought it was... little do we know things were only going to get worse.
All of our family and friends knew that she was slipping down a deep dark hole, everyone tried to talk to her but she did not care what anyone had to say. Her attitude was it's my life and I can do whatever I want. My oldest daughter said that she can't take this anymore. She either needs to get herself together or leave. So many things have happened prior to this that have just made the family go through so much pain that we just could not take it anymore. My daughter could barely get through a day of school without crying oh, and neither could I get through a day of work without crying and thinking about our family falling apart.
My daughter came to me and told me that we need to have an intervention with Mom. Give her the ultimatum and tell her to be more of a mom and a wife or maybe take a break and go to her mom's house and stay there for a while. I was so devastated by everything I didn't know what to do. I talked to my ex-wife's parents, and they agreed and said that we should have an intervention. The only problem is nobody wanted to join because they knew that my ex-wife would blow up at everyone and tell them it's her life she can do whatever she wants. But my oldest daughter was insistent on having this intervention.
About a week later we decided on having a talk with her to see what she wanted to do. We plan to do it on a Friday night. I believe it was May 5th 2018. Little did we know this would be the worst night of our family's life ever!
My daughter could not do it and said that she's too nervous and scared to talk to her. So I had to go at this alone. So I went down to the kitchen to go talk to my ex-wife oh, and it turned into a big argument. There was yelling and screaming and the girls were up there is hearing everything. That is one thing that I do not want is for my kids to hear us argue and fight. My ex-wife got out of control and ended up throwing plates at me, then she hit me in the face 6 times and broke my glasses threw him across the room, and stormed out of the kitchen. At this point I've had it. I will not have that kind of behavior around my children and have my kids thinking that this is how life is. Nor do I want my girls to grow up thinking that it's okay to be treated like that from their spouse. I told my ex-wife that if she doesn't stop I'm going to call the police. She told me to call the police she doesn't care. Well so, I called the police. All I wanted was for the police to come by and have her go to her mom's house. When they showed up they said that unfortunately with the damage to my face, broken plates on the ground, broken glasses, and crying kids, that they have a zero-tolerance in California for domestic violence. They said that unfortunately they're going to have to arrest her. That was not my intent and I did not want her to get arrested but at this point I already called the police, and I did not know what I was getting into. Before the police came she called her parents and told them that there's a situation at the house and that the police are coming. So her parents showed up around the same time that the police did. Her parents started yelling at me and my oldest daughter asking us if we're happy now? My oldest daughter was in my bedroom crying hysterically. She replied to them, does it look like I'm happy this is the worst time our family has ever been through. Then they started telling my oldest daughter that the reason why they're here is because that the kids are going to go to a foster home and they want to make sure they go to the right place. This was so immature for grandparents to come over and act like this when their mom is getting arrested for domestic violence. So that made things even worse. My youngest daughter was crying hysterically and kept asking if I'm okay because I had blood all over my face. That night was the worst night of our entire lives. My ex-wife got arrested and went to jail. Then her parents came back afterwards and started yelling and screaming in front of our house that they wanted some of her stuff. I am laying in my bed holding my two girls as they're crying in my arms. It just wasn't the right time. At this point the girls and I felt like it was all over.
The next day she got bailed out by her parents, and came by the house with the U-Haul truck and picked up all of her stuff. She ended up moving in with her parents. The police, my friends, and family all recommended that I get a temporary restraining order to let things cool down. So the next Monday I went to the court and got a restraining order. It was a 30-day restraining order which in my head I felt like it was a cooling off period. The judge looked at the police report in the pictures that were taken, and granted a restraining order right away. No questions asked. 2 days later she was served with a restraining order at her work.
Two weeks after receiving a restraining order in me trying to keep my family in order, her parents showed up at my house. In front of my kids they served me with divorce papers. I was devastated. Heartbroken. Sad, empty, depressed, every emotion and feeling that you could possibly think of I felt it. All I wanted to do was grow up in a little ball in the corner of my room and cry. I could not let my kids see me this way so I had to hold myself together. I had to be strong. At night when I was all alone by myself I would just pray and cry, I prayed and I cried and prayed and I cried.
Time has gone on now, and day by day we try to heal our hearts. My oldest daughter wants nothing to do with her mother. The courts granted me full custody of my children, and allowed her to visit my youngest daughter 2 days a week for 3 hours a day. Even though she's allowed to see my youngest daughter for 2 days a week 3 hours a day, she only comes by one day a week to take her out for a snack or ice cream and then drops her back off within an hour or two. She still living the party life with her friends, moved into a house with roommates and they drink and smoke everyday. She is living the life that she wanted!
A month after I got served with divorce papers I started getting messages from a girl on Facebook. She said that her husband and my ex-wife have been seeing each other for a long time. We found out that this is the same guy that I caught her with the Night Before Easter. She swears that they were having an affair with each other. I had no idea that my ex-wife was seeing a guy that was also married. Ruining someone else's home. I confronted my ex-wife about it and she denied that she had ever cheated on me.
I booked a trip for the girls and I to go to Hawaii to get our minds off of everything. We went for 14 days. With everything that's happening was probably the best time of my life with my kids. We left everything behind never talked about the situation at all and just had an amazing vacation.
While we are on our vacation my ex-wife contacted me and said that she wants to talk to me when we get back. Two days after we got back we met at the beach to discuss things. I asked her to be honest with me and just tell me what was going on with that guy. She finally admitted that she was cheating on me. That was it! No turning back from this point, I was so heartbroken I could barely sit there and even look at her in the face. I felt like I had to get up and walk away but for some weird reason I stayed to hear her out. But I knew in the back of my head that there's no way that this will ever work out. Cheating is a huge deal breaker for me, I would never cheat on her ever in my life, and it is something I do not agree with that all!
Lots of things have happened since then, but its just too much to explain. Time goes by every day and we try to find peace in this. I am raising my kids all on my own, I am running my business, cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to school, helping out with homework, and even doing mom duties such as taking care of them when they're on their period, or crying in my arms about some boy at school. And there for my kids every day and I will never let them down, ever!
Never in my life did I ever think that I would be depressed. For the last 15 years I love the happiest life I could ever ask for. I loved my ex-wife more than anything in the world, and I love my kids more than anything in the world, and I was such a proud happy husband and father. No I'm lonely. I have no friends, I have dedicated the last 15 years to my family, and have never taking time for myself. At this point I don't even know where to start. My ex-wife is dating that guy, and I go to work every day to support my kids and then come home and cook and clean and take care of them. I don't even have time for myself to even meet people, find new friends, or eventually one day find love again. I'm used to having a spouse with me every day for 15 years, someone to love, someone to take care of, someone to share everyday moments with, someone to laugh with, someone to watch Netflix with, and now I lay on my bed all alone. While I lay on my bed all alone my ex-wife is out partying with her new boyfriend. For the first time in my life I'm depressed... I used to wonder how people could be depressed and I thought life was so great. Now I am probably in the state of my life. Sometimes I just lay in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours just thinking about life, or I just cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I can't sleep and I am gone all night just tossing and turning because I have so many thoughts going through my head. When I see happy couples together I feel like I want to cry. I'm jealous. I want that back in my life again. And I just don't ever see it happening anytime soon. I guess it's just because I've been used to it for 15 years it's so hard to be without someone. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything in the world! We have such a strong bond and we are so close to each other, and they love me so much! I am blessed and I thank God for that all the time! But I am a lover at heart, and I have never been so lonely in my life. The few friends that I do have her all married, and they're so busy with their wives and their families that they don't have time to do anything with me. I just recently started going back to church after getting my head straight, or at least I thought I had my head straight. But sometimes I would start crying and I would have to walk out. it's funny because this never used to be me. in the last 15 years I don't think I've cried about one thing so, now I just can't keep myself together. I don't even know how to meet people at church because I'm so down that I don't know how to approach them or what to say. I need people in my life and I just don't know what to do.
I would be very surprised if anybody read this story. When I started writing this I never thought I would drag on this long. But I guess this just felt like a way for me to get it off my chest. Even if nobody reads this I guess it was good so just get it out there. God works in mysterious ways, and there was something telling me that I should write this tonight.
If you made it this far, I can't thank you enough for getting me out and listen to my story. Set honesty means so much to me. If there's anyone else that has gone to anything similar, you're definitely in my prayers. this is not something that I would wish on my worst enemy. Once again thanks for reading my story. I hope that one day I can find happiness again, and I hope I can figure out a way to find friends in my life.
God bless you all!
