Everyday is the same

[Matariki]

Life at the moment (and it has been for some time) for me is like walking on a slow paced treadmill. I'm going nowhere and day in and day out I'm repeating the same pattern; wake up in the afternoon, sit in front of the computer, eat dinner, go to bed. I feel too depressed to do anything else, yet alone look after myself, the house, my pets or aspire to go out and do anything (everyone else is doing everything for me, mainly my parents).

I'm living on the sickness benefit for various different reasons; depression, Aspergers syndrome and a broken leg (which resulted in me almost losing my left foot and my motorcycle being completely smashed).

Before this I was aspiring to be an artist and competing in the ring as a Boxer. Now I have no inspiration, can't train with a broken leg, and I've lost my vehicle. I have little money to put towards any studies and I can't work a normal job, It sickness me seeing the list of excuses that I'm writing out but at the moment from my perspective they are very real.

I'm frustrated, I'm tired and I'm struggling to see anyway out of this damn rut. Why Is God doing this (If he is doing this), what lessons are there to be learnt?

Basically, I'm a bum living off my parents and the government, a loser with no education, intelligence or aspirations, without value.

And if anyone else has been reading my other posts, to think I have the nerve to offer biblical advice or opinions? What a joke I am. A lousy servant, and a freeloader living off the grace of God.

Pathetic.

 

[Dianna_Child of God]

Sounds like a really rough time. How long did the doctors say it would take for your leg to heal? Once it heals do you think you will feel like you can get out? Could that be the biggest issue in all this?
Things happen in life and we do want to blame God. God loves us and does not hurt us. We have tribulations in life. Life can be very hard. I know for me right now it is very hard. So I am praying all the time, reading His word as much as I can. It helps me be closer to Him. Maybe take this time where you can't do much and draw closer to Him.

 

[Criada]

You know, we're all 'freeloaders' when it comes to God's grace - none of us deserve it, but he gives it freely anyway.
You've got a lot on your plate, and it doesn't sound as though any of it is something you can change. Being stuck does make you feel bad, but try to look at this time as a gift from God... time to spend in his presence and in studying his word.
You are lived and valuable, even when you can't so a lot physically
Praying for you

Sent from my HTC Wildfire using CF

 

[Matariki]

I don't want to blame God, its not his fault. I would simply like to know why, for what purpose? Clarification is what I would hope for, but at the moment I see nothing in the horizon of my life except for dreams that are unattainable, dreams that probably mean nothing in the long run in comparison to what God wants. I have no idea what he wants, and I ask him all the time. The silence is deafening to the point where you feel that your own words are being reflected back at you yet alone being taken into consideration. I feel separated from him at the moment.

The doctors say its going to be between six months to a year. 21 with artificial inserts and facing arthritis on the medical horizon. A part of me wants to say "Oh poor you, get over it" but my psychologists are saying thats what the problem is; self neglect, the bible on the other hand is telling me to deny myself and be alive in Christ. I don't get it.

 

[Dianna_Child of God]

I don't want to blame God, its not his fault. I would simply like to know why, for what purpose? Clarification is what I would hope for, but at the moment I see nothing in the horizon of my life except for dreams that are unattainable, dreams that probably mean nothing in the long run in comparison to what God wants. I have no idea what he wants, and I ask him all the time. The silence is deafening to the point where you feel that your own words are being reflected back at you yet alone being taken into consideration. I feel separated from him at the moment.

The doctors say its going to be between six months to a year. 21 with artificial inserts and facing arthritis on the medical horizon. A part of me wants to say "Oh poor you, get over it" but my psychologists are saying thats what the problem is; self neglect, the bible on the other hand is telling me to deny myself and be alive in Christ. I don't get it.

Read His word, that should help with feeling separated. I have found this site very helpful Online Bible Prayers to Pray | prayingscriptures.com

It has great scripture there for times of need. Maybe if you check it out and see these scriptures and use them for prayer it will help you not feel so far from Him.

 

[Mediakira]

Life at the moment (and it has been for some time) for me is like walking on a slow paced treadmill. I'm going nowhere and day in and day out I'm repeating the same pattern; wake up in the afternoon, sit in front of the computer, eat dinner, go to bed. I feel too depressed to do anything else, yet alone look after myself, the house, my pets or aspire to go out and do anything (everyone else is doing everything for me, mainly my parents).

I'm living on the sickness benefit for various different reasons; depression, Aspergers syndrome and a broken leg (which resulted in me almost losing my left foot and my motorcycle being completely smashed).

Before this I was aspiring to be an artist and competing in the ring as a Boxer. Now I have no inspiration, can't train with a broken leg, and I've lost my vehicle. I have little money to put towards any studies and I can't work a normal job, It sickness me seeing the list of excuses that I'm writing out but at the moment from my perspective they are very real.

I'm frustrated, I'm tired and I'm struggling to see anyway out of this damn rut. Why Is God doing this (If he is doing this), what lessons are there to be learnt?

Basically, I'm a bum living off my parents and the government, a loser with no education, intelligence or aspirations, without value.

And if anyone else has been reading my other posts, to think I have the nerve to offer biblical advice or opinions? What a joke I am. A lousy servant, and a freeloader living off the grace of God.

Pathetic.

All I can say at the moment is. Have you asked Him for anything? Like to strenghten you, to give you a purpose, or to give you guidance to what your path is?

But for the moment your injured. For now relax, and concentrate on full recovery. You'll bounce back again. I have, I've been slowly getting back what I've lost a year ago. God has been working me through it. It's not easy since you can't hear Him anyways. But whatever I prayed or go to church I end up getting something I need. It's weird, it's almost mysterious. But I want more. You should try asking Him for things. It works, I recommend. If your depressed and need a way out. He'll help you if you ask. If your not going to ask. He'll won't know what your wanting from Him.

 

[Mr. Runningfish]

I wish I could answer why. For both you, and I. Maybe I'll never be able to.

One thing is for certain: God doesn't make junk, you are His original masterpiece. I hope you're feeling better this afternoon(later today/whenenver it is over there). I've said a prayer for you. ::hugs::

 

[Mediakira]

Pastor Joel Osteen - Seeing Yourself the Way You Want - YouTube

Watch this you all! This really works!