ever felt like the prodigal's son's brother?

[candid_chick007]

ever felt like the prodigal's son's brother?



(err sry kinda long, i guess if u dont wanna read all of it u can still get the general idea by reading the bold sentences and down )

I always feel uncomfortable praying or talking about God around my family. esp. like deep discussions about faith n stuff.
My family r all Christians, and have been working in the ministry a long time, but its just awkward for me for some reason. i feel like im not good enough or righteous enough. but i know God has cleansed me of my sins and i should feel no condemnation (anyways its not like i've done anything super bad. like i know God doesnt really distinguish levels of sins, sin is sin. but the worst i've done is have a bad attitude or mouth off , messy room or things kinda common to life for a teen whos stuck around the house. when u live at home of course ur gonna bump heads with someone once inawhile.) so since i dont have a horrible past life i never had a miraculous turn around. I kinda always been the "good girl"Christian, i have gradually realized theres more to it than that. but once my older sibs became Christians and had huge turn arounds in their lives than i've kinda seemed like the shrub to the rest of my fam.

so although i've learned alot and i want to live every breath servin God and doing His will, when i do the tiniest mess up than it seems like my fam comes crashing down on me like im a witch or somethin. and im thinking woah, man, so i didnt clean my room when u told me to , i know thats wrong, but when my older sis was smoking pot and punched and swore at u, she was prayed for and everyone felt sry for her cuz she didn't know God. I know i really sound critical and selfish, but dont get me wrong, im sooooooo glad she did become a Christian and is now such a strong woman of God now. i had prayed for her sooo long. but i just feel empty at home now.


anyways mabe im just feeling like i cant live up to my older siblings great works and faith. mabe feeling like the prodigal's son's brother, ya know?

and then also i think i might just feel like Jesus did in his home town. how they rejected him cuz they knew him since he was a lil boy. How his brothers and fam had the toughest time accepting him because they were like " this can't be the messiah hes just our big bro."

basically i feel like a thorny shrub at home and then a beautiful flowering tree at church and among my friends.
its not that im being a hypocrite at church, but im thinking mabe im being a hypocrite at home by not sharing with everyone how much im in love with God and His plans. and i dont feel like i can just suddenly tell them either, cuz i know they know how i feel about God already, its just i need some help disolving these feelings. i just need peace with this. its all bottled up inside. i feel kinda selfish for asking u guys for help for such a minor problem compared to all the greater ones out there. but right now this seems kinda big and dominating in my life.
ty for reading this, it helps alot just to make this known and off my chest even if its strangers reading it. any prayer,advice, verses, or words of wisdom, or sharing if u have ever felt this way too would be greatly appreciated.
be blessed all~

 

[SparkyMel]

I feel exactly the same!!!! My parents aren't Christian, and if i know that i believe something, and i cant justify it then they seem a bit righteous and "ha, we're right"
They never say that, but it feels that way.

There's a passage in the Bible which says that we should not make a big deal out of praying and that the people who do it in secret will be rewarded (but being the fool that i am i can't remember the reference )
Don't worry about not being able to talk about God with your family. How about practising on here with us? That's what I'm doing, and it's helpful.
In the meantime, i'll be praying for you. God loves you just as much as your sisters so dont worry.
xxx

 

[Anti Existance]

You people need to stand up for what you believe in. As Jesus said, a light is not used to be hidden under some basket, it should be placed so that it will shine for everyone. Let this be the same for your faith, let it and your love shine for everyone, do not hide it.

 

[candid_chick007]

err, um good advice, but i dont think u guys completely understood what i was trying to get across. TY anyways......

 

[forgivenmuch]

you are the same to God as they are, take your rightful place.

 

[dancin' moosen]

Sometimes I think the Prodigal son's bro needs to just remember that how much 'good' stuff, or the lack of 'bad stuff' that he did had nothing to do with earning his father's love. I know I need to remember that. That even though i've been pretty good, I still need Jesus. I'm still broken. And in some ways, that recognitions is even more of a "miraculous turnaround", because it is much harder to admit we need something when we have things going okay on our own.
those are just my thoughts.

 

[Airdude]

As the youngest of three boys I did feel a bit like the prodigal son's little brother at times. Now I mostly feel like a prodigal myself.

 

[feo]

I feel like both.
Life sucks

 

[Anti Existance]

Well, you know usually at our place, we watch t.v all n stuff, and we talk about what we want to say, k , so if you are in the couch and a moment of talking arises bring up the topic of God, and share with your dad, your mom , your brother and sister everything that you wanted to share, and spit out everything that ever came up in your mouth. There, another bottle emptied. Go for it.!

 

[lovesong]

Hi Candid!

I think I understand what you're talking about. I grew up in a Christian home, with parents who were also in the ministry. I became a Christian at a young age .. but I was never really comfortable talking about the Lord with my parents for some reason.(Then again, I really didn't talk about anything with them!) Not until years later when I was going through certain situations, could I really discuss the Lord. It's not uncommon.

Like you, I didn't get into a lot of trouble growing up. I obeyed my parents, but once in a while, we'd bump heads too. I had an older brother who seemed to get into trouble many many times. And it seemed like when he would get straightened out, a big deal would be made out of it too. Yet when I got into trouble for even the simplest of things, it seemed like I would hear things like, " I didn't expect this from you." That was hard to take. Why shouldn't they expect that from me too?

Being a parent now of 3 older teenagers, I can see things a bit more clearer. I have one that seems to get into more situations with more recklessness than the other two. Which draws a lot of our attention. But what really made me aware of my focus, was when my youngest would say every now and then, " I feel like the 'back page'. " When I asked him to explain, he said that it seemed like we didn't make such a 'big deal' over him.

It made me do some thinking, and I realized that I was doing to him what my parents did to me. The only difference was that I made sure that there was more open communication between my children and I. They know I always want to know what's on their minds. I'm grateful that my son spoke up.

I think it's a common mistake that parents make ... not intentionally mind you. When the older child starts going through difficulties, it takes a lot out on a parent. Especially if bad habits are involved... they can be very difficult to break, and cause more problems as time goes by. But if and when that child gets straightened out, it's a BIG relief, and a big deal.

Being the younger child, you haven't gone through the situations your older siblings have gone through. But your parents see you, .. know you're there, .. know that you have a relationship with Christ .. and I'm assuming are praying that you remain seeking the Lord's will in your life. They're 'content' with that, not realizing how 'out of the loop' you may be feeling.

In praying for your sister, you showed an act of unselfishness. Maybe your folks didn't see it, but the thing is, the Lord did. And that's what's important. You're young yet, Candid .. and like the rest of us, we all have room to grow in the knowledge of the Lord. And if this is your desire, then you need to rest in knowing that if and when the Lord wants you to do anything, then He will open the door for you .. in His time. It doesn't have to be great, but whatever glorifies the Lord.

Dancin was right. You don't have to earn your parents love. They love you already. If you really want to open up to them about God in your life, then pray for the Holy Spirit to help you. It doesn't have to be an 'essay' .. just start with something simple. You just may be surprised where it might lead.

God bless you!

 

[byfaith1965]

great post lovesong! I too felt overlooked in my home. My sisters where twins and always grabbing the attention of everyone inside and outside of the home. They would lie and hardly ever get caught. They where always looked at as saints. I was quiet and shy and felt often over looked. I was a good kid with a kind heart. I always felt conviction if I even thought about doing wrong. It seemed as though no one ever noticed me. It was a hard time for me too. I felt I had no one to talk to. Are you able to talk to your parents about the situation and tell them how it makes you feel? I hope so,because like Lovesong said it can make a big difference in your relationship with them.
Candid I know that lovesongs post is probably closer to what you are talking about. I just wanted to share this with you because I think it happens in a lot in families, and it does make you a better parent. over looked