I work with families whose children are at risk for (or have already been) removed by child protective services. The people I work with have addictions, were raised in foster care, have severe anger issues, mental illnesses - both treated and untreated, and a common theme among all of them (except a very few who are community referrals) is abuse. Sometimes the abuse is still going on between adults while I'm working with them. With each cycle of programming, I typically have at least one, but usually two, men who are single parents because the mom skipped, is on drugs, or is in jail for abusing him. I attend frequent training on trauma-informed practice, and it was part of my formal post-degree diploma in interprofessional mental health and addictions.
After hearing one client tell his story, I said that I was glad he could speak so freely about it, and he said it's only because some of society finally takes men seriously, and no longer laugh at them or tell them to man up - which is something you still hear very much of in the church, right along with victim-blaming if it's the woman being abused. And this is a significant part of why I believe that churches should pitch in for even very part-time social workers, who are able to deal with these social problems in a Christian context, using Christian values. I had one client who was very open about his Christian faith, but this man could not bring himself to believe he was a good dad - and he really is a good dad...his kids put him down a lot because they compared him to their more "perfect" mom (this couple was divorced). I asked him if it's okay to bring his faith into the sessions, and with his permission, we started talking about the nature of God (he is Father, Son, and Spirit), and if we are created in his image, then we have that same likeness, parent, child (familial relationships come naturally to us), and spirit (eternal being). My client began to internalize this and other Christian concepts, and became a much more confident and competent dad.
I wish this for all my clients, but also that this kind of work could be done in the global church, as a regular part of healing and discipleship.
