Many don't accept Christ because of pride. It's not a situation of logic, but of the heart. They think they are good, and they want to be their own god, and do whatever makes them happy. We can only plant seeds, and it sounds like you've done that. We can't force anyone to believe because it's the Holy Spirit work at conviction, so keep praying without ceasing. Maybe someone will come along to water those seeds and then to harvest them. Sometimes those closest to you are hardest to reach, they will respond better to a stranger. But it's not always so, but what I have personally observed.
But I hear what you are saying, it's can be frustrating.
I don't think you will stand out, or be the odd man, you won't be an orphan. That sounds like hell on earth, which is what we have experienced in this fallen world since we've been born. There will be never ending unfathomable love and fellowship. You might find it helpful to watch some videos or read some articles on Heaven and what it will be like to reassure, encourage and comfort you. It will not be like it is on earth, nor will you be treated badly by others. There will be no sin.. We will be like Jesus, and He died for his enemies. That's amazing love. If I ever meet you in Heaven, I will give you a big hug!
I've watched a ton of videos on eternity for that very purpose but the thing that I fear most about the biblical description of it, that it's just falling on our face singing around the throne for eternity, is the thing they always fall back on and they try to pump it up like "why would you want to do anything else, you'll want to do that forever!"
and I just.. sink, because of how many people propose that. They try and reassure me with saying "oh there's so much GLORY that you will be totally fulfilled and won't want anything else" which #1. I don't care about glory, promising me glory just doesn't do anything for me. Glory isn't even the attribute of God I care about. For some people I can understand that that's what they need from God, to be glorious and exalted above all things. But what appealed to me and made me love God is Jesus, who came in humility, and was meek, self sacrificing, forgiving.
Islam preaches a glorious and exalted God. but I could never love Allah, because Allah does not exhibit the compassion, meekness, and self sacrificing love that our God does.
#2. That sounds more like a drug high than heaven. To just have your brain bombarded by a happy switch so that you're happy no matter what you're doing, like the guy narcing out in total euphoria because of the heroin coursing through his brain thinking everything is perfect and right, while in reality he's in a terrible place and everything is wrong.
Not saying being in the presence of God is the same as being in a crackhouse, but just the idea that you're happy even if you're doing something that doesn't normally make you happy, which for me is singing, sounds more like a drug than actual joy.
I'm looking for a life not a high. So for me to see myself actually being happy in heaven, I need to see a picture of a life, of activity, of doing new things every day that don't become monotonous or boring or mundane. A life of meaningful relationships, not isolation, and not just being surrounded by a bunch of acquaintances that only love you and you love them because you both love Jesus, which feels more like an obligation than actual love.
Right now in church that's how it usually feels.. like this.. rainpuddle depth love that hinges on one thing, you both love the same God, you know nothing else about that person, they know nothing else about you. It may be unconditional and secure because of that, but it's shallow. It makes everyone generic.
In essence instead of a life of meaningful relationships, the way most people preach heaven and the new earth is a 24/7 worship service with 1 meaningful relationship (the relationship with God) and millions of other robots singing around you that are just generic choir members like yourself.
