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Empathy and Singleness

Discussion in 'Singles (Only*)' started by LaBèlla, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla Well-Known Member

    +1,029
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Single
    A few questions for Singles...

    What has been your experience within Christian circles regarding empathy and singleness? Have you been encouraged and supported in your desire to marry? Were you provided with resources and community? Or have your experiences been otherwise?

    What would you suggest for yourself and others like you?

    I welcome your thoughts. Thank you.
     
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  2. Wayholka

    Wayholka A saved wolf among sheep. Supporter

    +11,737
    Canada
    Christian
    Celibate
    So far no one at church has pressured me to get married and I'd like it to remain that way.

    It's quite a far cry from secular people pressuring me to get laid, bragging to me about their sex lives, and even offering to arrange a hook up for me.
     
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  3. Sketcher

    Sketcher Born Imperishable

    +4,428
    Non-Denom
    Single
    US-Republican
    Being as much of my community has been other singles, there has been more empathy than I would expect from married people. As far as "resources", not much. Those suggestions are very hit-or-miss.
     
  4. .Mikha'el.

    .Mikha'el. Mod Queue Spam Troll Banner Extraordinaire! Staff Member Supervisor Supporter

    +2,362
    Canada
    Messianic
    Single
    I don't think anyone has ever really made much of it.
     
  5. timewerx

    timewerx the village i--o--t--

    +3,577
    Christian Seeker
    Single
    Good church and good friends!

    It gets very annoying when everyone is pressuring you to marry!
     
  6. Bortsss

    Bortsss a pilgrim passing thru

    +2,699
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    US-Constitution
    I understand and share the feelings of other singles in regards to their circumstances, but only to certain points. I refuse to coddle people in their self-pity, however. God said singleness is a gift. If they are refusing to unwrap it and use it for their good and His glory then that's on them.
     
  7. Miles

    Miles Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,382
    United States
    Christian
    Private
    As a single man, I sometimes feel "othered" in Christian circles, but I wouldn't necessarily attribute it to a lack of empathy on their part. I mean, if I had married in my early 20s, how well would I understand my current situation? I suppose it works both ways.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. SleepingAtLast

    SleepingAtLast Member

    85
    +71
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Singleness in the church is kind of an awkward conundrum. On one hand it's nice to have community as a person who isn't married and desires companionship, but at the same time it's kind of weird to have 'Singles groups' where basically the reason we are all together is because we are single. Rather than setting up programs for single people, the most helpful things are more grassroots. Just having Bible studies available to attend is very helpful, and my church has that, but it also makes a huge difference when married people will go out of their way to befriend single people and even involve them in their own family's life. A few people at my church have done that, and it makes a big difference.

    As far as the marriage side of things, I think it is good for the church to offer resources or discipleship to help single people be prepared for marriage, but it bothers me when marriage is constantly held up as the place we should all be aiming to get to. It can feel at times like our lives have not reached maximum fulfillment potential until we get married, but yet we are supposed to be content where we are at. My church has a pretty good balance with that. The only thing that can sting from time to time is that they will announce in the bulletin, and up front, that so-and-so has just gotten engaged/married or that so-and-so just had a baby. Of course we should celebrate that, but it can sting a little at times not being in that place and wanting to be, and knowing that I will never have a reason to be mentioned in the bulletin or up front as a single person unless I am sick or moving away.
     
  9. CodyFaith

    CodyFaith Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,923
    Canada
    Baptist
    Single
    .
     
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