- Oct 10, 2011
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I decided to watch a T.V. preaching program by Jenzten Franklin, (don't know why I did but just thought I would) (I don't usually watch him), and after he was done preaching (and right before he was to ask for some money), A testimony from a lady started that said she was pregnant, and thinking about abortion... But she heard the babies heartbeat on the sonogram and just couldn't go through with it...
So, she had the baby (no red flags going up up to this point) and said that the Father had asked her to "just trust him with the baby for one night" (this is when red flags started to go up for me and I started thinking "oh, crap, what's gonna happen or be the story now"), and knew it was going to be bad, (which made me panic and my panic button got hit and I steeled myself and a wall went up for me), (I instantly started thinking/wondering sexual and/or physical abuse, or that he would have beat the baby (to death) or something like that, by the man)... Turns out the girlfriend of the guy put a pillow over it's head, cause she couldn't handle the crying, she said just for a minute, and the baby got suffocated to death...
The woman telling the story started crying, and while I felt bad, I couldn't cry with her or them, cause a wall had went up for me... And that always fills me with regret and makes me feel bad, on top of what I initially started thinking... It was supposed to touching, but I could not feel it with her/them, she said she was very upset with God and the woman but eventually forgave her...
I got ticked off afterwards, especially when after that, they started asking for money... I started talking to God about it, and said that this was one of main problems with television and the media in general... For the mainstream media does it sometimes too, and it is all about money, and getting people to fall to their knees before a false god/idol... I refuse every time...
I started talking to/with God, and told I was "angry" and started venting, I told him I was so very sick of this emotional/mental abuse and psychological manipulation by the media, who's motives are far from pure... I told him it was even "Satanic" and a grand deception and was just so very "wrong" on so many levels, and told him no wonder were having shootings and killings and people going crazy, and the country was ripping itself apart... And told him I even wondered if this wasn't some kind of conspiracy to bring down America or western society by "whomever"... No wonder this country is ripping itself apart (I said)...
People watch the media to be entertained or learn, not to be "screwed" (by them/it) in so many very wrong ways... I was very upset, for it has happened to me before... Though I couldn't quite explain it till now... It would be one thing if I "volunteered" to be exposed to that crap/stuff, by "real people" face to face, or one on one with them, cause that would be an entirely different story and issue...
I said it was Satanic and they were a bunch of succubuse's, sucking and draining everyone dry of any kind of feeling or emotion and making everyone cold, or otherwise "burn" eternally... They (the media) are purposely exasterbating us, (the people) and manipulating us and psychologically "screwing us" in so many very wrong ways, and told God just how just very, very wrong it was... And that it is a false god... And, I refused to fall or bow before it...
And most people are just so hopelessly "hooked" to these abusers... Their addicted to it, something that is and is just so very, very, very wrong...
Needless to say, I try my best to pick and choose my media very, very carefully, but am still sometimes caught of guard sometimes by things like this... A wall goes up for me and I cannot help it, and I use to beat myself up over it a lot, blaming myself, for the thoughts I had, wondering what was wrong with me, when all the while, it was them all along...
Anyone else "feel" me or know what I'm talking about...?
Like I said, it would be much different "in person" or person to person... And (no offense women), but many women (and overly emotional men) do this as well, try to abusively get some kind of emotion out of you, and get upset if it doesn't happen, and are never even satisfied even if and when it does either... What the hell do they want...? What do you expect...? Sucking people dry, and wondering why most men get dry or cold emotionally... It's "abuse" in it's worse kind of form if you ask me...
I don't want to become cold, and am really trying hard not to, but I don't want to "burn" either...
Anyone else "feel" me or know what I'm talking about...?
Comments...?
God Bless!
So, she had the baby (no red flags going up up to this point) and said that the Father had asked her to "just trust him with the baby for one night" (this is when red flags started to go up for me and I started thinking "oh, crap, what's gonna happen or be the story now"), and knew it was going to be bad, (which made me panic and my panic button got hit and I steeled myself and a wall went up for me), (I instantly started thinking/wondering sexual and/or physical abuse, or that he would have beat the baby (to death) or something like that, by the man)... Turns out the girlfriend of the guy put a pillow over it's head, cause she couldn't handle the crying, she said just for a minute, and the baby got suffocated to death...
The woman telling the story started crying, and while I felt bad, I couldn't cry with her or them, cause a wall had went up for me... And that always fills me with regret and makes me feel bad, on top of what I initially started thinking... It was supposed to touching, but I could not feel it with her/them, she said she was very upset with God and the woman but eventually forgave her...
I got ticked off afterwards, especially when after that, they started asking for money... I started talking to God about it, and said that this was one of main problems with television and the media in general... For the mainstream media does it sometimes too, and it is all about money, and getting people to fall to their knees before a false god/idol... I refuse every time...
I started talking to/with God, and told I was "angry" and started venting, I told him I was so very sick of this emotional/mental abuse and psychological manipulation by the media, who's motives are far from pure... I told him it was even "Satanic" and a grand deception and was just so very "wrong" on so many levels, and told him no wonder were having shootings and killings and people going crazy, and the country was ripping itself apart... And told him I even wondered if this wasn't some kind of conspiracy to bring down America or western society by "whomever"... No wonder this country is ripping itself apart (I said)...
People watch the media to be entertained or learn, not to be "screwed" (by them/it) in so many very wrong ways... I was very upset, for it has happened to me before... Though I couldn't quite explain it till now... It would be one thing if I "volunteered" to be exposed to that crap/stuff, by "real people" face to face, or one on one with them, cause that would be an entirely different story and issue...
I said it was Satanic and they were a bunch of succubuse's, sucking and draining everyone dry of any kind of feeling or emotion and making everyone cold, or otherwise "burn" eternally... They (the media) are purposely exasterbating us, (the people) and manipulating us and psychologically "screwing us" in so many very wrong ways, and told God just how just very, very wrong it was... And that it is a false god... And, I refused to fall or bow before it...
And most people are just so hopelessly "hooked" to these abusers... Their addicted to it, something that is and is just so very, very, very wrong...
Needless to say, I try my best to pick and choose my media very, very carefully, but am still sometimes caught of guard sometimes by things like this... A wall goes up for me and I cannot help it, and I use to beat myself up over it a lot, blaming myself, for the thoughts I had, wondering what was wrong with me, when all the while, it was them all along...
Anyone else "feel" me or know what I'm talking about...?
Like I said, it would be much different "in person" or person to person... And (no offense women), but many women (and overly emotional men) do this as well, try to abusively get some kind of emotion out of you, and get upset if it doesn't happen, and are never even satisfied even if and when it does either... What the hell do they want...? What do you expect...? Sucking people dry, and wondering why most men get dry or cold emotionally... It's "abuse" in it's worse kind of form if you ask me...
I don't want to become cold, and am really trying hard not to, but I don't want to "burn" either...
Anyone else "feel" me or know what I'm talking about...?
Comments...?
God Bless!
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