Echoes

[LazeyWinde]

Earlier this weeks some guy in a chatroom knew that my father was abusive and didn't like what I had to say and said that if he was my father he would have sewn my mouth shut and broken all my fingers so I wouldn't type, then later said that he would've slit my throat (I put him on ignore but he kept changing his nick to harass me) and other cruel things.
I know this guy is a twisted and sad excuse for a human being and that God will do whatever with him in His own timing and I shouldn't let what he said get to me.
But the stuff he said to me has all sorts of verbal abuse I had gotten from my father echoing in my mind... Who do you think you are? You're just stubborn and lazy. Is she retarded or something? Does she have a brain at all? I'll give you something to cry about. So maybe I was abusive, but you deserved it. It's making me furious and depressed and I feel like I'm being driven out of my mind. The past couple of days I've slept in until after 12 noon and I had been getting up by 10 before that... I've self harmed, feel sad and numb, I can feel myself withdrawing from people.
What my father said and did to me was finally getting to not bother me so much anymore and then this happens.

 

[Bowling77]

I know that I've had terrible moments too but you know, at least I wish I could do something to make you feel great. but you have to keep the hope in mind and get on with life Maybe you can find solace someplace good. ohh and I'm not a big beliver in self harm I seriusly worry for you and all i can do is tell you that feelings come and go in an instant, so when you battle with a bad situation, sometimes your going to get hurt, and life is going to be hard at times. But you know, I think maybe you should try to make money and live life with all you got, you might not succeed straight away but its not too hard to find steady work and income and with that at least is a good thing for everyone you mostly. I have loads of trouble with things so I hear ya its hard to keep a straight trak. and I sleep in alot to i cant even get out of bed most mornings, but I sure as hell get out of bed to get to work. well I hope all this typing will make you happy and stuff. Have a good one. *I appoligise If this reply sux but I'm new to the forums so try forigove me.

 

[Surviving]

Try not to let this person get to you. You know, they are probably just jealous. Either that, or they have lived a really sheltered life and have not got a clue what goes on in this world. Either way, you are worth more than what is being thrown at you. Hang in there.

 

[LazeyWinde]

I couldn't care much less about what this guy has to say... He's said nothing but hateful words and never anything worth saying... but the 'echoes' do bother me. At least they're starting to die down now and I'm less stressed out.

 

[BelindaP]

What you're recovering from is a triggering episode. Everyone has triggers, and when they get set off, they can turn you from a self-assured person into a sobbing ball of pain. It's a perfectly normal reaction and it happens to all of us.

I've been largely recovered now for about ten years, but I still have a few triggers that can set me off. Fortunately, it doesn't mean that you haven't recovered or that you need to start all over again. It's just a little setback in the road we call life. You will find that you get a little less sensitive to triggers as time passes.

I'm so glad that you're feeling better now.

 

[LazeyWinde]

Yeah.... Triggers. I usually can avoid my triggers but it's not everyday you have someone making a joke of you being abused. Most people are too decent to say stuff like that. Just goes to show how low the human race can get I guess.

 

[Bowling77]

Hey yeah you sound better already. Congrats, Have a Great day.

 

[Surviving]

Yeah.... Triggers. I usually can avoid my triggers but it's not everyday you have someone making a joke of you being abused. Most people are too decent to say stuff like that. Just goes to show how low the human race can get I guess.

I know how this feels in some way. I wrote a poem that was quite detailed in what went on when I was abused. I person commented on it and thought that it was a cheap way of portraying abuse. Well, I was so angry to start of with. I wrote another poem in response to it basically telling where this person should go.

 

[lavenderskies]

I think I would avoid that person, maybe even that chatroom if there were no person in charge to go to in order to deal with that. A mod or something. Remember you are a survivor. You have survived this abuse. Do not let this person control you. God loves you!

 

[LazeyWinde]

I know how this feels in some way. I wrote a poem that was quite detailed in what went on when I was abused. I person commented on it and thought that it was a cheap way of portraying abuse. Well, I was so angry to start of with. I wrote another poem in response to it basically telling where this person should go.

*Hugs Surviving* I know... We didn't go through this for their entertainment.

I think I would avoid that person, maybe even that chatroom if there were no person in charge to go to in order to deal with that. A mod or something. Remember you are a survivor. You have survived this abuse. Do not let this person control you. God loves you!

I went all out to take care of this guy. Besides having to set and rest him to ignore I reported him to the chat server. So hopefully no one else there will have to put up with him, I hope.

 

[lavenderskies]

Good job. I am a survivor of abuse and mother of an abuse survivor. I am always here.

 

[LazeyWinde]

Thanks Lavender.