Doubt

[Lord'sWarrior]

I have schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. This has led me to not work for the past 10 years. Now, recently, I started psychotherapy and the therapist suggested I do volunteer work in the same institution where I have the appointments. A food bank at a church center. Transporting the food packages from the van to the warehouse. I tried it once, last week with the therapist being there. I managed to do it, but only knowing someone had my back. The fact is that I don't feel at peace with myself and am afraid of reacting badly if I do the work. I've read some christian articles about laziness, and it could be a factor, but I'm mostly afraid that I won't be able to do the job emotionaly. I know it's only an hour more less, but I don't feel safe with my moods. I don't think it's laziness, but it could be a little too. In the end, I'm just very confused. I feel and know that I don't have the inner core stabillity to do the job and I'm afraid to say that no to the therapist. I don't really like to be pressed and urged to compromise with something that I'm almost ceartain I will quit. Any input?

 

[Tom 1]

I have schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. This has led me to not work for the past 10 years. Now, recently, I started psychotherapy and the therapist suggested I do volunteer work in the same institution where I have the appointments. A food bank at a church center. Transporting the food packages from the van to the warehouse. I tried it once, last week with the therapist being there. I managed to do it, but only knowing someone had my back. The fact is that I don't feel at peace with myself and am afraid of reacting badly if I do the work. I've read some christian articles about laziness, and it could be a factor, but I'm mostly afraid that I won't be able to do the job emotionaly. I know it's only an hour more less, but I don't feel safe with my moods. I don't think it's laziness, but it could be a little too. In the end, I'm just very confused. I feel and know that I don't have the inner core stabillity to do the job and I'm afraid to say that no to the therapist. I don't really like to be pressed and urged to compromise with something that I'm almost ceartain I will quit. Any input?

Doesn't sound like laziness. Laziness is more like 'I can do this but I can't be bothered'. Is there anyone else you know well you can discuss this with? Sometimes personal input from someone who knows you is better than general advice.

 

[Lord'sWarrior]

Doesn't sound like laziness. Laziness is more like 'I can do this but I can't be bothered'. Is there anyone else you know well you can discuss this with? Sometimes personal input from someone who knows you is better than general advice.

I've discussed it with my mother, but I didn't get much insight. I don't really have anyone else to get inputs from. And the options I might have, I already know the answers. I think people put on their own shoes (capabilities) when judging the problem. I don't have the same "emotional skills" as someone that doesn't have my limitations.

 

[truefiction1]

I don't know your affective experience or how debilitating it is. My instinct tells me that if you are somehow able to ignore the affective and cognitive obstacles and remain employed in this work, that doing so would be beneficial for you.

 

[Tom 1]

I

I've discussed it with my mother, but I didn't get much insight. I don't really have anyone else to get inputs from. And the options I might have, I already know the answers. I think people put on their own shoes (capabilities) when judging the problem. I don't have the same "emotional skills" as someone that doesn't have my limitations.

I'd suggest building gradually, finding things you can do or places you can be with other people and start building up from there. This might help to identify what you are struggling to manage more specifically, e.g. keeping to a regular commitment, or whatever it is.

 

[Tolworth John]

This has led me to not work for the past 10 years. Now, recently, I started psychotherapy and the therapist suggested I do volunteer work in the same institution where I have the appointments. A food bank at a church center. Transporting the food packages from the van to the warehouse.

Have you tried again to do this voluntary work?

Getting out of the house, meeting other people and doing physical work. Are all things that will do you good.
Yes it is hard to step out of your confort zone, yes controlling your emotions is going to be draining, but as you become acustomed to the people andthe work you will start to see the benefits of it.

What have you got to loose by doing it?