doubt and unbelief

[Jesuslove70708]

not clinically diagnosed but two months ago was very obvious that I probably 99999% chance I have a ocd idk
So 2-4 Months ago Intrusive thoughts like sell your soul and and bad things like that all the time And compulsions After Compulsions im 15 and that had been going on for two years and but something popped out of nowhere one day I woke up with my Faith and everything in tact I click on the video and the guy said something that just Triggered me I started to doubt after doubt after doubt after doubt and just cry Jesus is the most important thing in my life and all I want is him back it’s been like this for two months I feel like I have no believe or a little faith I just want my faith and belivfe and everything back but the thing is I get bad thoughts intrusive thoughts saying do you even want your belief back and out like do you even believe just just bad I don’t like it I love Jesus but I feel such a doubter my biggest fear is becoming a A atheist i don’t want that and I have a problem I feel like completely numb no belief no faith nothing no compulsions maybe one or two on a good day which it’s hard to have a good day anymore I haven’t had one in two months so I’m worried that my faith won’t come back and I keep doubting stuff like is the Bible and his God real And I believe some of these are my thoughts Before all of this before the doubt I have intrusive thoughts about things like the devi They would make me panic and do a compulsion but now numb I am bad thoughts about giving up I really don’t want to I’m not planning to every morning for two weeks I woken up and cried I miss my faith and belief I am scared Some of these thoughts are mine And I’m scared I’m starting to believe some of these thoughts I can’t even be with my family because of personal reasons I have to deal with this to I feel sometimes like I don’t care and that really scares me and it worries me I will be like oh I promise I promise Jesus I won’t do this but i do it and I feel like I don’t care and that bothers me I feel like I don’t care about really anything anymore that Kind of bothers me I was going to ask my parents to get me baptized about two months ago a few months ago actually but the doubt started I’m pretty sure the doubt started on mar 9 And it has not gone away
but some thing I noticed two months ago whenever the thought would go away I felt like I had no faith so that was weird but I have no more old thoughts are used to have they’re mainly the doubt and the ones I don’t like like the giving up ones but I looked up proof at the beginning and I think it got worse so I stop looking up proof and start a reading threads on this website because when are used to look up proof it got worse and I don’t want to get worse I don’t know I don’t want these thoughts to be mine I hope there ocd but I never been Diagnosed so I really do not know but all I knew is I had almost every OCD symptoms before this so I’m just assuming right now before all this I have always like paleontology and we paleontology is evolution theory some Christian paleontologist but not a lot I always ignored the theory in like dinosaurs the first thoughts were about it evolution is an evolution that because of my knowledge about dinosaurs because I wanted to be a paleontologist at a time But I’m just worried and I don’t even know about that sometimes most the time I feel like I don’t care I just want everything to go back tomorrow I’m just scared that I don’t believe in stuff like hell and I feel like I don’t even believe because when I used to get intrusive thought that was about blasforme I would react badly to it now I feel like I don’t care and I realize something two months ago when I used to get the blasforme thoughts every time they went away I didn’t feel my faith but I’m tired of the doubt and I feel like I have unbelief I want I don’t feel my belief I kind of shut down I won’t play my video game I won’t watch TV I won’t do anything until it comes back sorry for autocorrects
do you guys have any advice

 

[Astrifer]

First, take a deep breath. You are extremely agitated and anxious.

As someone who also suffers from what is probably OCD, I feel your pain, and your words resonate with me. I'll give you two pieces of advice:

1) You say you're not clinically diagnosed - I strongly suggest you seek professional help (if possible), and they can help you deal with the psychological aspect of your torment.

2) Your concern about your faith is faith itself. If you had no desire to love and believe in Jesus, would you be making a post like this? Of course not. God knows what's affecting you, and He understands our difficulties caused by mental health problems. If you seek Him, He will guide you down the right path. Remember: intrusive thoughts are not your real thoughts. They are aberrations from your true thoughts.

P.S.
I also wanted to be a paleontologist (at one point!)

 

[dqhall]

not clinically diagnosed but two months ago was very obvious that I probably 99999% chance I have a ocd idk
So 2-4 Months ago Intrusive thoughts like sell your soul and and bad things like that all the time And compulsions After Compulsions im 15 and that had been going on for two years and but something popped out of nowhere one day I woke up with my Faith and everything in tact I click on the video and the guy said something that just Triggered me I started to doubt after doubt after doubt after doubt and just cry Jesus is the most important thing in my life and all I want is him back it’s been like this for two months I feel like I have no believe or a little faith I just want my faith and belivfe and everything back but the thing is I get bad thoughts intrusive thoughts saying do you even want your belief back and out like do you even believe just just bad I don’t like it I love Jesus but I feel such a doubter my biggest fear is becoming a A atheist i don’t want that and I have a problem I feel like completely numb no belief no faith nothing no compulsions maybe one or two on a good day which it’s hard to have a good day anymore I haven’t had one in two months so I’m worried that my faith won’t come back and I keep doubting stuff like is the Bible and his God real And I believe some of these are my thoughts Before all of this before the doubt I have intrusive thoughts about things like the devi They would make me panic and do a compulsion but now numb I am bad thoughts about giving up I really don’t want to I’m not planning to every morning for two weeks I woken up and cried I miss my faith and belief I am scared Some of these thoughts are mine And I’m scared I’m starting to believe some of these thoughts I can’t even be with my family because of personal reasons I have to deal with this to I feel sometimes like I don’t care and that really scares me and it worries me I will be like oh I promise I promise Jesus I won’t do this but i do it and I feel like I don’t care and that bothers me I feel like I don’t care about really anything anymore that Kind of bothers me I was going to ask my parents to get me baptized about two months ago a few months ago actually but the doubt started I’m pretty sure the doubt started on mar 9 And it has not gone away
but some thing I noticed two months ago whenever the thought would go away I felt like I had no faith so that was weird but I have no more old thoughts are used to have they’re mainly the doubt and the ones I don’t like like the giving up ones but I looked up proof at the beginning and I think it got worse so I stop looking up proof and start a reading threads on this website because when are used to look up proof it got worse and I don’t want to get worse I don’t know I don’t want these thoughts to be mine I hope there ocd but I never been Diagnosed so I really do not know but all I knew is I had almost every OCD symptoms before this so I’m just assuming right now before all this I have always like paleontology and we paleontology is evolution theory some Christian paleontologist but not a lot I always ignored the theory in like dinosaurs the first thoughts were about it evolution is an evolution that because of my knowledge about dinosaurs because I wanted to be a paleontologist at a time But I’m just worried and I don’t even know about that sometimes most the time I feel like I don’t care I just want everything to go back tomorrow I’m just scared that I don’t believe in stuff like hell and I feel like I don’t even believe because when I used to get intrusive thought that was about blasforme I would react badly to it now I feel like I don’t care and I realize something two months ago when I used to get the blasforme thoughts every time they went away I didn’t feel my faith but I’m tired of the doubt and I feel like I have unbelief I want I don’t feel my belief I kind of shut down I won’t play my video game I won’t watch TV I won’t do anything until it comes back sorry for autocorrects
do you guys have any advice

You are too negative. Memorize the Gospels.

 

[Jesuslove70708]

First

I have A therapist I just recently started to go to but I haven’t told him I think I have OCD yeah my next appointment is kind of far away
The thing I hate is that I feel like I don’t care are used to have really bad thoughts but now I feel like I don’t care

 

[Tolworth John]

started to doubt after doubt after doubt after doubt

Please re read Astrifer's post again.

You need to see a doctor to get a diagnosis.

You have intrusive thoughts, thoughts that tell you hasty things etc.

What ever these thoughts are saying to you, what ever they are telling you to do, all you do is say, " yes that is right.". Do not talk to, argue or try to ignore or suppress these thought just acknowledge them and carry on.
These thoughts are making you have doubts, to question what you believe.

There is nothing wrong with this, so long as you are also looking for answers.

Investigate your doubts, we what far cleverer people than us have to say about the questions that cause you to doubt.
Try coldcasechristianity or creation.com, both of these look at questions and challenges to Christianity and answer them.


Last point.
You do not hold on to Jesus, it is Jesus who holds onto you and no one can snatch you or force you out of his hand.

 

[Jesuslove70708]

What About numbness

 

[Jesuslove70708]

And I don’t know how to really get diagnosed

 

[SamanthaAnastasia]

Scrupulosity: The Ultimate Guide (Updated 2020)

Blasphemous Thoughts: The Ultimate Guide (Updated 2020)

God bless.

 

[Tolworth John]

And I don’t know how to really get diagnosed

If you are an adult arrange to see your doctor and talk to him about your concerns about your mental health.

If you are not an adult you will need to talk to your parents or legal guardian about wanting to see a doctor.

If you are an adult and do not have a doctor,use Google to find out how to register with one, where they are in your area.

 

[Jesuslove70708]

What if they are my thoughts

 

[Jesuslove70708]

agitated

What if it’s not OCD what do I do then

 

[Job405]

What if they are my thoughts

Other than religious OCD it could be an evil spirit trying to sow unbelief in your heart because it knew you were watching that video. But as a child of God, you have the Holy Spirit and authority in Christ to cast away any evil spirits. Just rebuke the thoughts and any evil spirits in Jesus name. Seek mental help also just to rule out that possibility. I hope you will recover and get back to your walk with Christ.

 

[Jesuslove70708]

Other

do i sill have my faith and belief

 

[Jesuslove70708]

I
[QUOTE="D

i have one more thread

 

[Jesuslove70708]

trying

Do i sill have beilef

 

[Job405]

Do i sill have beilef

Only you can answer that.

 

[Jesuslove70708]

How do I know

 

[Halbhh]

How do I know

For that side, for faith itself -- faith comes from hearing the word of Christ -- and is strengthened/encouraged by hearing again, even every day, some of His words.


To yourself read what Christ said, in the gospels.

Start with Matthew: Matthew 1 NIV
In chapter 3 Christ begins to speak.
By chapter 5, you will need to slow down and really think on, meditate on, repeat to yourself, His words.

The goal isn't to finish quickly, but instead you want to stay and remain with His words.
To keep his words in your heart.

 

[Jesuslove70708]

I’m worried about something I believe got my belief is slipping slowly very slowly and very fast I was thinking of looking at testimonies and proof of Jesus maybe that would help but I could be two options I look at the proof I have a panic attack and I thought to get worse or I get my faith and believe how it used to be but I don’t know what to do I don’t want to give up I’m not going to it’s that I set an a little room all day and I stare at like the ceiling or on my phone looking for talking so I don’t know what to do in the situation should I look at proven testimonies or should I just wait I’m not at my parents right now foster care so should I wait until I go back or should I do it now or not do it at all

 

[Mari17]

not clinically diagnosed but two months ago was very obvious that I probably 99999% chance I have a ocd idk
So 2-4 Months ago Intrusive thoughts like sell your soul and and bad things like that all the time And compulsions After Compulsions im 15 and that had been going on for two years and but something popped out of nowhere one day I woke up with my Faith and everything in tact I click on the video and the guy said something that just Triggered me I started to doubt after doubt after doubt after doubt and just cry Jesus is the most important thing in my life and all I want is him back it’s been like this for two months I feel like I have no believe or a little faith I just want my faith and belivfe and everything back but the thing is I get bad thoughts intrusive thoughts saying do you even want your belief back and out like do you even believe just just bad I don’t like it I love Jesus but I feel such a doubter my biggest fear is becoming a A atheist i don’t want that and I have a problem I feel like completely numb no belief no faith nothing no compulsions maybe one or two on a good day which it’s hard to have a good day anymore I haven’t had one in two months so I’m worried that my faith won’t come back and I keep doubting stuff like is the Bible and his God real And I believe some of these are my thoughts Before all of this before the doubt I have intrusive thoughts about things like the devi They would make me panic and do a compulsion but now numb I am bad thoughts about giving up I really don’t want to I’m not planning to every morning for two weeks I woken up and cried I miss my faith and belief I am scared Some of these thoughts are mine And I’m scared I’m starting to believe some of these thoughts I can’t even be with my family because of personal reasons I have to deal with this to I feel sometimes like I don’t care and that really scares me and it worries me I will be like oh I promise I promise Jesus I won’t do this but i do it and I feel like I don’t care and that bothers me I feel like I don’t care about really anything anymore that Kind of bothers me I was going to ask my parents to get me baptized about two months ago a few months ago actually but the doubt started I’m pretty sure the doubt started on mar 9 And it has not gone away
but some thing I noticed two months ago whenever the thought would go away I felt like I had no faith so that was weird but I have no more old thoughts are used to have they’re mainly the doubt and the ones I don’t like like the giving up ones but I looked up proof at the beginning and I think it got worse so I stop looking up proof and start a reading threads on this website because when are used to look up proof it got worse and I don’t want to get worse I don’t know I don’t want these thoughts to be mine I hope there ocd but I never been Diagnosed so I really do not know but all I knew is I had almost every OCD symptoms before this so I’m just assuming right now before all this I have always like paleontology and we paleontology is evolution theory some Christian paleontologist but not a lot I always ignored the theory in like dinosaurs the first thoughts were about it evolution is an evolution that because of my knowledge about dinosaurs because I wanted to be a paleontologist at a time But I’m just worried and I don’t even know about that sometimes most the time I feel like I don’t care I just want everything to go back tomorrow I’m just scared that I don’t believe in stuff like hell and I feel like I don’t even believe because when I used to get intrusive thought that was about blasforme I would react badly to it now I feel like I don’t care and I realize something two months ago when I used to get the blasforme thoughts every time they went away I didn’t feel my faith but I’m tired of the doubt and I feel like I have unbelief I want I don’t feel my belief I kind of shut down I won’t play my video game I won’t watch TV I won’t do anything until it comes back sorry for autocorrects
do you guys have any advice

Thank you for sharing! I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time.

I've had OCD for many years, and I understand how difficult it is. I would strongly suggest that you tell your therapist that you have OCD. Is there any way you can get an OCD specialist to help you treat the OCD?

A couple more thoughts:
1. Seeking reassurance ("proofs") is generally not helpful with OCD. OCD doubts are pathological, and no matter what reassurance you get, you tend to keep doubting. That's why the OCD itself needs to be treated.
2. Feeling numb, and fearing that numbness indicates a true problem, is also typical of OCD. Getting anxious because you are not anxious is what some people call "a backdoor spike."
3. Have you found other resources to help you with your OCD? I'd be happy to suggest some of the websites that have been helpful for me.