Does the Bible Prohibit Pre-Marital Sex?

[Kevin Snow]

They can't be her husbands and at the same time not her husbands.
She said that she HAD HAD five Husbands and Jesus said she was telling the truth.

What you need to do is look at the OT legal law about Divorcement. The one that Moses allowed. The one that Jesus said was allowed because of the men's hardness of heart.

There is nowhere that the Bible says that sex is marriage. Would you say that someone is not married to a paralyzed person unable to have sex or two older widowers are not really married because they no longer desire to have sex, but married for companionship? They are not married in God's eyes?

That's exactly what is happening. They are SUPPOSED to be her husbands, which is why Christ said you have had 5 husbands, but in reality they are not because they are all alive at the same time, therefore Christ said "the one you are now with is not your husband." Because the one she is now with was JUST LIKE all the others: adulterous relationships.

But there would have been NO adultery if they were just companions! Oh my goodness. Sometimes its the simpler things in life that are the most difficult, I guess.

 

[ubicaritas]

That's exactly what is happening. They are SUPPOSED to be her husbands, which is why Christ said you have had 5 husbands, but in reality they are not because they are all alive at the same time, therefore Christ said "the one you are now with is not your husband." Because the one she is now with was JUST LIKE all the others: adulterous relationships.

But there would have been NO adultery if they were just companions! Oh my goodness. Sometimes its the simpler things in life that are the most difficult, I guess.

No, the story is not really a judgment on sexual sin but the shame of having been traded around for years between unfaithful men. This is why the woman runs away happy in the end to tell people about Jesus. If she received a dressing down on what a horrible human being she was, she would not have done that.

 

[Kevin Snow]

“And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.” (John 2:1–2)

“The next day there was a wedding celebration in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration.” (John 2:1–2)

You prove me right again! It clearly shows by scripture that it was the wedding celebration that they were all attending. And what are they celebrating? The UNION of two people. What is that UNION...the sex.

 

[SkyWriting]

Not so, please consider:

“The woman replied, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “Right you are when you said, ‘I have no husband,’for you have had five husbands, and the man you are living with now is not your husband. This you said truthfully!”” (John 4:17–18)

Becasue she is not committed to him or him to her.
The ceremony is just that, a public ceremony displaying their commitment.

Sex is supposed to be marriage, but with no commitment, then it is not a marriage, but is is adultery.

 

[SkyWriting]

I am a single heterosexual man, but I am not a virgin.
So far I have not found a single Biblical verse prohibiting pre-marital sex. But I am not a Biblical scholar. I know that some Christian denominations banned pre-marital sex. I would like to know their reasons for imposing this ban.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

 

[SkyWriting]

You prove me right again! It clearly shows by scripture that it was the wedding celebration that they were all attending. And what are they celebrating? The UNION of two people. What is that UNION...the sex.

The commitment. Sex is an option.

 

[Kevin Snow]

The commitment. Sex is an option.


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Everybody just think VERY simply for a minute: marriage. The word has a meaning by itself. If you marry two things together, they don't separate. You can't marry two things together without some glue. So when does the man and woman marry? Did they become one flesh vowing to one another? No. Did they become one flesh kissing one another? No. The glue is in the sharing of the two's fluids and they actually get glued together right there as ONE flesh. This is marriage. You have married.

 

[SkyWriting]

Everybody just think VERY simply for a minute: marriage. The word has a meaning by itself. If you marry two things together, they don't separate. You can't marry two things together without some glue. So when does the man and woman marry? Did they become one flesh vowing to one another? No. Did they become one flesh kissing one another? No. The glue is in the sharing of the two's fluids and they actually get glued together right there as ONE flesh. This is marriage. You have married.

That doesn't always happen. So you are wrong.
Or Catholic.

 

[Kevin Snow]

That doesn't always happen. So you are wrong.
Or Catholic.

I am not right I know that, but the truth is right and I spoke the truth. Marriage is coming to know your wife. The marriage is the fleshly union.

 

[SkyWriting]

I am not right I know that, but the truth is right and I spoke the truth. Marriage is coming to know your wife. The marriage is the fleshly union.

I was married to a quadriplegic, so I know better.
And friends as well.
And her mother got married in her later years.
And my sister had no sex life while married.
And my marriage is not less when we don't have sex
or "more marriage" when we do.

And any sex outside of my marriage is not a marriage.
Marriage is commitment.

And if my wife has an intimate relationship with another man
it is still cheating even if they don't have sex.
And it is not a marriage if they do.

 

[Hank77]

I'm going to think outloud here because I really want to get John 4:17 hashed out and I am stumbling all over myself in my prior post. (in the middle of my work out)@Dave L @Hank77 Please look over it and tell me what you think.

The first sense of the word "husband" is the full masculine role because in verse 15 and 16 the woman asks Jesus for some water, and Jesus replies go get your husband to do it (thats the person that should be drawing water). So that implies the role of a husband not just the sexual act. That doesn't mean that not fulfilling the role makes one not a husband, but that the term is meant to imply the duties that come with it in the semantic sense, not just the metaphysical sense. Carrying on, she says I don't have a husband which I think she means I have no one that fulfills this role, that is a man I'm sleeping with who takes care of me and might draw water for me. Jesus replies you spoke correctly that you have no one fulfilling this role (taking care of her and could draw water for her). Jesus further continues with a contrasting use of husband. He says you have had 5 husbands, which we should take as sinful because of her later statement "he told me all that I ever did". Since all implies more than 1 we can't apply this solely to the man that is not your husband. So I think this statement from Jesus is talking about 6 sins, the 5 husbands, and the 1 which is not called a husband. The 5 are in the past an not able to draw water, the 6th is the current "husband" but is not called a husband because a husband should be capable of fulling her need to draw water from the well. I think Jesus is playing with the word to say that these people whom you are sleeping with should be providing their whole masculine function rather than just that one masculine function. The fact that I'm allowing a gradation to the term husband gives a slightly different view from Kevin's in that we say yes that person is the husband but he's not really the husband. That kind of opens a different can of nuances in the idea of premarital sex.

I don't agree that she is saying she doesn't have a husband to draw water from the well. And I don't agree that Jesus is telling her to get her husband to draw it for her either.
She is saying give me this water that I will never thirst and I won't need to come draw water from this well.
Joh 4:15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.
Joh 4:15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come all the way hither to draw.

She may have been serious but it's more like she is saying "Yeah, sure you will, so give it to me and I won't have to come draw water ever again. She didn't believe Him.

So Jesus convinces her by telling her things about herself that He couldn't have known unless He was at least a prophet.

 

[Kevin Snow]

I was married to a quadriplegic, so I know better.
And friends as well.
And her mother got married in her later years.
And my sister had no sex life while married.

Your experience can NOT interpret the word of God.

The word of God WILL and SHOULD interpret your experience.

Therefore, because the marriage is the fleshly union, what does this mean for your experience? Reinterpret your experience according to the truth of God's word.

You committed to the person and that's great but if there was no sex then there was no marriage.

 

[Sanoy]

One of the things we need to figure out is what is the essential property of marriage. An essential property is a property that the lack of which the thing ceases to be the same thing. For example the essential property of a table is a flat surface on the top upon which to set things. (minus some mereological essentialism debate) Is sex an essential property of marriage? It's easy to think so but imagine a perfect "marriage" but the man is lacking the equipment to consummate the marriage. Is that then not a marriage? Or lets take it from the other side what if you have all the ingredients for a perfect marriage but lack the ability to perform the ceremony? then what? It's a tough question.

It's a question that matters though, even if you are married. One of my fears is that, God forbid, if I became single I would be susceptible to this type of sin. While it might be comforting to know that this temptation is distant from me, I still fear that I am silently holding this back from God. And I don't want that.

 

[Hank77]

But there would have been NO adultery if they were just companions! Oh my goodness. Sometimes its the simpler things in life that are the most difficult, I guess.

Never mind you already answered this question.

I hear what you are saying and there are Christians who agree with that interpretation.

But I'm asking you, if there is no sex does that mean there is no marriage?

Yes you would think these things would be simple but it's the most important and most personal things that are not.

 

[ubicaritas]

Your experience can NOT interpret the word of God.

The word of God WILL and SHOULD interpret your experience.

Therefore, because the marriage is the fleshly union, what does this mean for your experience? Reinterpret your experience according to the truth of God's word.

You committed to the person and that's great but if there was no sex then there was no marriage.

Ugghh... throw up more Gospel stumbling blocks, why don't you? Asking somebody to adopt a bronze age mentality about the most intimate parts of ones life for no other reason than to conform to some rigid religious ideology is offensive.

 

[Kevin Snow]

Ugghh... throw up more Gospel stumbling blocks, why don't you? Asking somebody to adopt a bronze age mentality about the most intimate parts of ones life for no other reason than to conform to some rigid religious ideology is offensive.

Blessed is he who is not offended by me. ~Yahshua

Thus says Yahweh: “Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ ~Jeremiah 6:16

 

[ubicaritas]

Blessed is he who is not offended by me. ~Yahshua

Jesus said very little about this stuff, it's human beings that are making it up based on their religious ideologies. Jesus was a single man after all that had no time for marriage

 

[Dave L]

Becasue she is not committed to him or him to her.
The ceremony is just that, a public ceremony displaying their commitment.

Sex is supposed to be marriage, but with no commitment, then it is not a marriage, but is is adultery.

Notice sex does not constitute marriage. Before marriage it is fornication to be repented of.

“And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.” (John 2:1–2)

“The next day there was a wedding celebration in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration.” (John 2:1–2)

 

[Sanoy]

I don't agree that she is saying she doesn't have a husband to draw water from the well. And I don't agree that Jesus is telling her to get her husband to draw it for her either.
She is saying give me this water that I will never thirst and I won't need to come draw water from this well.
Joh 4:15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw.
Joh 4:15 The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come all the way hither to draw.

She may have been serious but it's more like she is saying "Yeah, sure you will, so give it to me and I won't have to come draw water ever again. She didn't believe Him.

So Jesus convinces her by telling her things about herself that He couldn't have known unless He was at least a prophet.

You're right, I should have started from the top of the chapter rather than the paragraph containing verse 17. Because there is a ton more context all the way to verse 1 that I missed. I still think there is something going on here with the husband. Jesus definitely uses it as a teachable moment, but there must be some contextual reason to ask her to get her husband before she can drink this water. I think you're right about her being sarcastic, so maybe Jesus is saying "go get your husband he will understand". He is the head of the household, he is the spiritual leader of the family and won't be flippant to the things I'm saying. So I think you are right and I am mistaken, the husband isn't being called in as an official masculine role. He is being called in as the more "sensible" one given the societal duties he is accustomed to in the society. (not a sexist statement, the woman did certain things and the man did certain things and that specialized them in a particular role)

 

[Dave L]

You prove me right again! It clearly shows by scripture that it was the wedding celebration that they were all attending. And what are they celebrating? The UNION of two people. What is that UNION...the sex.

Which they didn't have until after the marriage party.