Does the Bible Prohibit Pre-Marital Sex?

[Adi-Buddha]

I am a single heterosexual man, but I am not a virgin.
So far I have not found a single Biblical verse prohibiting pre-marital sex. But I am not a Biblical scholar. I know that some Christian denominations banned pre-marital sex. I would like to know their reasons for imposing this ban.

 

[Kevin Snow]

Sex IS the marriage. The marriage ceremony IS vows. The marriage is sex, the vows is the ceremony. God holds you to your word, which is why you think you need the vows to have marriage, but it was not so from the beginning. A man would take his wife and become one flesh with her and that was all that was needed to BE married, because that is the marriage.

So premarital sex is an impossibility. If you have multiple partners then you are committing adultery.

 

[EastCoastRemnant]

Well said Kevin... without the consummation of the marriage (the couple having sex) the union is not complete and can be annulled. It's like a written contract is not legal until both parties sign onto it.

 

[Dave L]

The marriage is in the ceremony. not in a romp in the sack. This is fornication to be repented of.

“The woman replied, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “Right you are when you said, ‘I have no husband,’for you have had five husbands, and the man you are living with now is not your husband. This you said truthfully!”” (John 4:17–18)

 

[Sanoy]

Sex IS the marriage. The marriage ceremony IS vows. The marriage is sex, the vows is the ceremony. God holds you to your word, which is why you think you need the vows to have marriage, but it was not so from the beginning. A man would take his wife and become one flesh with her and that was all that was needed to BE married, because that is the marriage.

So premarital sex is an impossibility. If you have multiple partners then you are committing adultery.

I think this is the strongest most complete explanation that can be given for this, "sex is the marriage". It's the only thing that will survive every hypothetical you can make, and be accurate for every verse of scripture (that I have seen anyway).

 

[Kevin Snow]

The marriage is in the ceremony. not in a romp in the sack.

“The woman replied, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “Right you are when you said, ‘I have no husband,’for you have had five husbands, and the man you are living with now is not your husband. This you said truthfully!”” (John 4:17–18)

Do you realize that he said to her that she had FIVE husbands. That's because they were all her husband through the sex but that sequential sex is ADULTERY. So you can't be married through adultery. That's why he said the one you are with is not your husband because it was adultery.

Sex is the marriage therefore and sex is the adultery. You don't commit adultery with someone through a ceremony!

 

[Dave L]

I think this is the strongest most complete explanation that can be given for this, "sex is the marriage". It's the only thing that will survive every hypothetical you can make.

Not so, please consider:

“The woman replied, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “Right you are when you said, ‘I have no husband,’for you have had five husbands, and the man you are living with now is not your husband. This you said truthfully!”” (John 4:17–18)

 

[Dave L]

Do you realize that he said to her that she had FIVE husbands. That's because they were all her husband through the sex but that sequential sex is ADULTERY. So you can't be married through adultery. That's why he said the one you are with is not your husband because it was adultery.

Sex is the marriage therefore and sex is the adultery. You don't commit adultery with someone through a ceremony!

Not true. She was living with (obviously having sex with) a man who was not her husband.

 

[Sanoy]

Not so, please consider:

“The woman replied, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “Right you are when you said, ‘I have no husband,’for you have had five husbands, and the man you are living with now is not your husband. This you said truthfully!”” (John 4:17–18)

I'd really like to get an opinion from someone who knows Greek, but at least from my nonprofessional observation the word husband is actually the Greek word for man, and that the translation to "husband" is at the discretion of the translator via context. I will concede it might be possible to say this is husband, but then in what sense? the legal sense? It comes down to how is Jesus applying this term, and I don't know. It seems a bit ambiguous and might need to be drawn out to solidify it.

Edit. The more I look at this it looks like it has to be husband here at least for some of it. But I still think Jesus is using the legal term, as in the publicly recognized spouse or the man that is taking on the role. So a prostitute can have 5 men that she is sexually active but only one may take on the role of husband in a marital relationship since that term implies a role greater than sexual intimacy. I need to rethink all this. I'll make another post if I can get my thoughts together.

 

[Kevin Snow]

Not true. She was living with (obviously having sex with) a man who was not her husband.

Because you can't marry someone through adultery! You don't understand that? She had five husbands through adultery and NONE of them were her husband, yet Christ said you have had FIVE husbands.

This actually proves the fact that sex is the marriage! She had sex with 6 other dudes and they were her husbands. But because they were all alive, NONE of them were her husbands because it was adultery.

So again, sex is the marriage and sex is the adultery. You can't marry someone with a ceremony just as you can't commit adultery with someone with a ceremony.

 

[Call me Nic]

I am a single heterosexual man, but I am not a virgin.
So far I have not found a single Biblical verse prohibiting pre-marital sex. But I am not a Biblical scholar. I know that some Christian denominations banned pre-marital sex. I would like to know their reasons for imposing this ban.

We are commanded not to fornicate (1 Corinthians 6:18) nor have inordinate affection and uncleanness (Colossians 3:5).
Fornication is considered sex outside of marriage, while adultery is considered sex with another who is not your spouse while in the covenant of marriage.
Fornication is a serious matter, considering it's the only legitimate reason Christ gave for divorce (Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:9). I'm not sure which is considered the "bigger sin" by God (either fornication or adultery), but both are sins nonetheless according to the Bible and you should refrain from them, otherwise you will receive recompense from God for your sins. Just a friendly warning.

The most foolish thing a person can do is try to justify their sin by saying God's word doesn't "specifically" address what they're doing. The very fact you made a forum post about this for clarification proves that your conscience is telling you that you would indeed be sinning by having pre-marital sex. If you deny the Bible says not to fornicate, you are doing two things: 1). You are calling God a liar because it clearly says not to fornicate; 2). You are pridefully resisting the law of God.

You won't become unsaved (if you're saved already) on this matter, but God will punish you more because you knew it wasn't right and still pridefully acted out against him, trying to justify his own words for your actions. Woe unto you, friend, if this is the case.

Also, Paul clearly taught that if a brother is a fornicator, then we should have nothing to do with him, and we should shame him; we should put that wicked person away from us, and not associate with him, not even to eat with (1 Corinthians 5:11). So, take a hint that fornication is a pretty bad thing, friend.

 

[Humble me Lord]

Here is an answer I agree with.

 

[Saint Steven]

The Bible term for premarital sex, or any sexual perversion is "sexual immorality".
Here are but a few references. I hope it helps.

1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality.
All other sins a person commits are outside the body,
but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.

Galatians 5:19-21
The acts of the flesh are obvious:
sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;
20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy,
fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions
21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.
I warn you, as I did before, that those who live
like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

 

[Hank77]

Not so, please consider:

“The woman replied, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “Right you are when you said, ‘I have no husband,’for you have had five husbands, and the man you are living with now is not your husband. This you said truthfully!”” (John 4:17–18)

I agree and note that....
Jesus says "you have had", past tense, five husbands....and ....

Marriage is the commit between two people to be husband and wife, not a one night stand or a live-in shacking up, that is fornication.

 

[ubicaritas]

I am a single heterosexual man, but I am not a virgin.
So far I have not found a single Biblical verse prohibiting pre-marital sex. But I am not a Biblical scholar. I know that some Christian denominations banned pre-marital sex. I would like to know their reasons for imposing this ban.

It's not the Christian ideal but I think its very easy to be overly judgmental about it, especially in the modern age.

The Bible tends to be patriarchal in tone so female fornication or adultery is seen as more problematic. In a patrilineal society, the integrity of a man's lineage is determined by having a faithful wife.

 

[Sanoy]

I'm going to think outloud here because I really want to get John 4:17 hashed out and I am stumbling all over myself in my prior post. (in the middle of my work out)@Dave L @Hank77 Please look over it and tell me what you think.

The first sense of the word "husband" is the full masculine role because in verse 15 and 16 the woman asks Jesus for some water, and Jesus replies go get your husband to do it (thats the person that should be drawing water). So that implies the role of a husband not just the sexual act. That doesn't mean that not fulfilling the role makes one not a husband, but that the term is meant to imply the duties that come with it in the semantic sense, not just the metaphysical sense. Carrying on, she says I don't have a husband which I think she means I have no one that fulfills this role, that is a man I'm sleeping with who takes care of me and might draw water for me. Jesus replies you spoke correctly that you have no one fulfilling this role (taking care of her and could draw water for her). Jesus further continues with a contrasting use of husband. He says you have had 5 husbands, which we should take as sinful because of her later statement "he told me all that I ever did". Since all implies more than 1 we can't apply this solely to the man that is not your husband. So I think this statement from Jesus is talking about 6 sins, the 5 husbands, and the 1 which is not called a husband. The 5 are in the past an not able to draw water, the 6th is the current "husband" but is not called a husband because a husband should be capable of fulling her need to draw water from the well. I think Jesus is playing with the word to say that these people whom you are sleeping with should be providing their whole masculine function rather than just that one masculine function. The fact that I'm allowing a gradation to the term husband gives a slightly different view from Kevin's in that we say yes that person is the husband but he's not really the husband. That kind of opens a different can of nuances in the idea of premarital sex.

 

[ubicaritas]

Good point. Jesus is not necessarily condemning the woman for sexual immorality. There is a tendency to read sexual morality into verses of the Scriptures where the meaning is difficult or uncertain. And this owes a great deal to the pre-Reformation monastic asceticism that basically saw sexuality as inherently problematic and defiling. It is the basis of "purity culture" among some conservative Protestant groups.

 

[Hank77]

This actually proves the fact that sex is the marriage! She had sex with 6 other dudes and they were her husbands. But because they were all alive, NONE of them were her husbands because it was adultery.

They can't be her husbands and at the same time not her husbands.
Jesus said that she HAD HAD five Husbands and Jesus said she was telling the truth.

What you need to do is look at the OT legal law about Divorcement. The one that Moses allowed. The one that Jesus said was allowed because of the men's hardness of heart.

There is nowhere that the Bible says that sex is marriage. Would you say that someone is not married to a paralyzed person unable to have sex or two older widowers are not really married because they no longer desire to have sex, but married for companionship? They are not married in God's eyes?

 

[ubicaritas]

Hank, be careful or you'll wind up on the mainline Protestant side of sexual ethics!

I think a certain ancient, bible-era perspective does consider sex normative as the consumation of marriage. But that was based on a world that did not have a modern understanding of law, psychology, etc. Asking somebody to accept a bronze age perspective on marriage, as normative for all time, is a scandal to the Gospel, frankly.

 

[Dave L]

“And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.” (John 2:1–2)

“The next day there was a wedding celebration in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the celebration.” (John 2:1–2)