Does marriage in the eyes of God have to be legalized?

[Radagast]

I doubt that the government is aware of most of the marriages taking place within the tribal communities and the tribal leaders have no real incentive to document or inform the government of the marriages taking place.

Depends on what you mean by "the government." There seems to be a lot of decentralisation.

Religion wouldn't be a factor one way or the other as far as customary marriages are concerned.

Christian marriages would happen in church, I would think (even if that church was little more than a large mud hut). And most churches have negative views on at least polygamous customary marriages.

 

[All4Christ]

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Please direct your responses to the member who started the thread and refrain from debating one another's theological beliefs and viewpoints (see the Christian Advice Statement of Purpose).

Thanks!

 

[Reconciliation and Truth]

My friend wants to know if it's a sin to marry without a marriage license. She is planning on marrying her boyfriend but she said all of her Christian friends and family are giving her a hard time about it because her boyfriend can't sign a marriage license or he'll lose his disability check. They pretty much tell her that if she doesn't have a marriage license, she'll be living in sin and will no longer be considered a Christian. But she doesn't believe that. She thinks it's not a sin but her Christian friends will not stop pestering her about it. What are your opinions?
I can understand if someone is capable of signing a paper and doesn't do it, then that wouldn't be right. But if the person legally can't do it and that person is deeply in love, what do they do? Suffer all because of what one Christian thinks? I personally think denominations ruin Christianity. They all have different beliefs and if you don't listen to one of those beliefs, you're considered not a Christian. For example, The non denominational church believes it's not a sin to drink alcohol and yet the baptists do. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Who's going to hell and who isn't? It's not right that the baptists get to point fingers at a person for believing differently. Am I right?

What disability?

There are plenty of jobs and protections for disabled people.

If he won't legally marry her over a disability check there is a very good chance he is just a loser.

 

[ToBeLoved]

There are plenty of jobs and protections for disabled people.

If he won't legally marry her over a disability check there is a very good chance he is just a loser.

If that is his only income though.
I’ve also heard similar for those in social security

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Well we are told to obeys the laws of man as long as they don't interfere with Gods laws. In the USA in order to be legally married there is a process and what not. So he has to follow the law.

I totally understand his fear of losing his checks if he marries. Many couples have sadly decided to be "married" but not legally just so they can afford things. They are in sin sadly.

I got married and didn't lose my checks. But once my wife works full time I will lose them. Its very frustrating but it is what it is. God never said life would be easy. We will survive.

 

[Paul G West Sr]

My friend wants to know if it's a sin to marry without a marriage license. She is planning on marrying her boyfriend but she said all of her Christian friends and family are giving her a hard time about it because her boyfriend can't sign a marriage license or he'll lose his disability check. They pretty much tell her that if she doesn't have a marriage license, she'll be living in sin and will no longer be considered a Christian. But she doesn't believe that. She thinks it's not a sin but her Christian friends will not stop pestering her about it. What are your opinions?

I can understand if someone is capable of signing a paper and doesn't do it, then that wouldn't be right. But if the person legally can't do it and that person is deeply in love, what do they do? Suffer all because of what one Christian thinks? I personally think denominations ruin Christianity. They all have different beliefs and if you don't listen to one of those beliefs, you're considered not a Christian. For example, The non denominational church believes it's not a sin to drink alcohol and yet the baptists do. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Who's going to hell and who isn't? It's not right that the baptists get to point fingers at a person for believing differently. Am I right?

I say they are not trusting God to take care of them! The absence of pain is not where happiness comes from. In fact, pain is good for us. We are called into pain! Happiness is found in pain, with Jesus!

Couples got along with one paycheck for hundreds of years, so why shouldn't they get married legally and trust in God to take care of them. They do not need his disability check.

Part of the problems with the world is that couples have too much money! Can you imagine what the average price of homes would be if the average family income was $40,000.00 per year? The average home price would be well below $100,000.00, and new cars would be $12,000.00. Prices are only high because we are willing and able to pay them.

Now, I realize that houses do not cost below $100K, nor do new cars sell for less than $15K. However they would not die on one paycheck! They absolutely would not! They would not be able to keep up with the Jones', and they may have to depend on family, friends, and the government, but they would make it. They would not die! There far too many public programs for them to have a horrible life. They would be fine.

 

[Endeavourer]

This much disagreement for a nonessential doctrinal point (not necessary for salvation) among people of faith points to the answer for this question being a distinctive that is left to your conscience.

Reasons why you might be convicted to not need them:
--Marriages licenses are not specifically required in the Bible.
--It is not illegal for two people to have a church ceremony and not obtain a marriage ceremony.
--Marriage licenses were originated in this country in the 1800's in order to force mixed marriages to get permission from the state. Prior to that licenses were not required for a marriage of two whites or two blacks so no one had them until then, including all of our US based fathers of our faith who lived before that era. Therefore one could view the whole premise of marriage licenses on a foundation of prejudice and reject them for that reason.
--Marriage licenses are now issued for same sex marriages. If that is against your convictions you could view a license as something that is not special for marriage as you see it anymore.
--Most hospitals don't ask for legal proof that you are nearest of kin prior to invoking your participation in healthcare decisions.

Reasons why you might be convicted to need them:
--You may feel that since the law allows for it that means you have to follow it.

Practical reasons to have one:
--A license will protect your interests in the event of a divorce. Without a state recognized marriage the 'marital' assets are not considered mutually owned.
--A license will convey property rights to the other spouse upon the death of the other.
--You may need to prove you are nearest of kin for important decisions.
--Tax benefits (although sometimes it is more advantageous to not have one).
--Having a license imposes a significant deterrent to leaving the relationship without working to resolve the problems first due to the economic accountability you have to each other.

The government offers you a deal:
--Get a marriage license and xx plus xx benefits are yours (but you lose yy and yy benefits)
--Don't get a marriage license and yy plus yy benefits are yours (but you lose xx and xx benefits).

You have to make the decision that is best for you, and that best suits your conscience.

 

[Andrew77]

My friend wants to know if it's a sin to marry without a marriage license. She is planning on marrying her boyfriend but she said all of her Christian friends and family are giving her a hard time about it because her boyfriend can't sign a marriage license or he'll lose his disability check. They pretty much tell her that if she doesn't have a marriage license, she'll be living in sin and will no longer be considered a Christian. But she doesn't believe that. She thinks it's not a sin but her Christian friends will not stop pestering her about it. What are your opinions?
I can understand if someone is capable of signing a paper and doesn't do it, then that wouldn't be right. But if the person legally can't do it and that person is deeply in love, what do they do? Suffer all because of what one Christian thinks? I personally think denominations ruin Christianity. They all have different beliefs and if you don't listen to one of those beliefs, you're considered not a Christian. For example, The non denominational church believes it's not a sin to drink alcohol and yet the baptists do. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Who's going to hell and who isn't? It's not right that the baptists get to point fingers at a person for believing differently. Am I right?

Wow. So many posts on this.

First: The Bible says you should obey the laws of the land. The laws of the land is that you get a legal marriage.

Second: When absolutely everyone is warning you about something, you should likely heed their warning. If everyone, both friends and family, are saying not to do this, then you shouldn't do this.

Third: This man is not legally unable to sign a marriage license. He is refusing to sign it, because he'll lose tax-payer money.

Straight up, if I was this man, I would sign the papers, and forget the disability money. Is the woman you love, less important than disability money? Really? That is pathetic, and likely shows a lack of character, that her friends and family are warning her about.

Fourth: Legal marriage is a protection, largely for the woman.

You need to understand that without legal marriage, this man can do a massive amount of harm to this lady. And don't say "he would never do that!" because every girl says "he'll never do that" until he brings up a new girl, and starts sleeping with her in the house you paid for.

Without legal marriage, if they buy a house together, this man can invite another woman into his house, and the lady has no say in the matter. She can't divorce, and force the sale of the house. He'll just have it, and she'll have nothing.

Without marriage, if they buy a car together, he can drive off with a new girlfriend, and there is nothing she can do. She can't divorce, and force the sale of the car, so she can get her money back. She can't even call police, because he'll have legal rights to the car.

Without marriage, if he dies, she will be treated as a guest at the funeral, sitting in the back with no honor. Any benefits or insurance will go to next in family, excluding her.

Everything I am listing here, are things that have actually happened. There was one lady, "married in the eyes of god" as they say, but was not legally married. He died. The family sold the car, so she had no car. They sold the house, so she had no place to live. And at the funeral, she was sitting in the back, ignored, while the ex-wife of the man was up front with the family. Moreover, he had life insurance, but it went to the family, not her.

Listen to me very carefully.... if you want to argue about whether 'god sees us as married'... that's fine.... but in the eyes of the law, if you are not married you are absolutely nothing. He dies, everything goes to his family. You get nothing. You are treated as nothing. Legally, you do not exist.

If you do not get married, you have zero protection. You are begging for a disaster.

And don't say "He would never do that!" Because every single girl says "he would never do that" until they do. Until he does drive off in the car you paid for, with his new girlfriend.

So my answer to you is, this girl should tell this man, that he needs to choose between his benefits, or his marriage. One or the other.

That's my advice, take it or leave it.

 

[justme6272]

No. If it did, the O.T. patriarchs would have been in big trouble.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I used to think "married in the eyes of God" was all that counted. I can see a case being made for two people who are both disabled and on government assistance. If they get legally married, their total income will be reduced 25%, whereas if they live together, both can continue receiving full benefits. It doesn't seem fair to me. It punishes marriage, so that's a strong discouragement from doing it.

I am unable to work, so far. Before I was married, I drew government disability. We could have had a "commitment ceremony," considering ourselves husband and wife afterward, and I'd still be drawing some income. I'd also have health coverage, and my husband wouldn't be on the hook for my medical bills. But he is, and he chose to be. This does afford me some protections I would not have otherwise had. He's got me legally covered. If something happens to him (please God, don't let it) I may have to go back to being on assistance, but he's seen to it that I never have to be homeless again. If there were no legal ties, I would have none of that protection.

Yes, that "piece of paper" does make a difference. Going ahead and making that leap of faith, getting married even though it may cost you some financial safety nets, shows trust in God that He's going to take care of you as He promised.

 

[RestoreTheJoy]

I can understand if someone is capable of signing a paper and doesn't do it, then that wouldn't be right. But if the person legally can't do it and that person is deeply in love, what do they do? Suffer all because of what one Christian thinks?

What do you mean he legally can't do it? What is preventing him? Disabled people can marry. ??