Does marriage in the eyes of God have to be legalized?

[RDKirk]

In Canada common law marriage is recognized by the courts after one to three years (depending on province) as the same as a church or civil marriage in terms of rights and obligations. I suspect that may be true in the USA as well.

That is, however, a rule of the state, so if someone wants to keep his marriage totally separated from the state, he can't follow common law marriage rules.

 

[abysmul]

IMHO: it's not lying to the government, there is marriage in the eyes of the government, and marriage in the eyes of God. God wins IMHO. Not being married in the eyes of the government could preclude you two from making medical decisions for each other and limit hospital visitations etc., that's your choice.

Government needs to get out of the marriage business, because that's what it is to them, a way to make money. (again IMHO)

 

[Pepper77]

My friend wants to know if it's a sin to marry without a marriage license. She is planning on marrying her boyfriend but she said all of her Christian friends and family are giving her a hard time about it because her boyfriend can't sign a marriage license or he'll lose his disability check. They pretty much tell her that if she doesn't have a marriage license, she'll be living in sin and will no longer be considered a Christian. But she doesn't believe that. She thinks it's not a sin but her Christian friends will not stop pestering her about it. What are your opinions?
I can understand if someone is capable of signing a paper and doesn't do it, then that wouldn't be right. But if the person legally can't do it and that person is deeply in love, what do they do? Suffer all because of what one Christian thinks? I personally think denominations ruin Christianity. They all have different beliefs and if you don't listen to one of those beliefs, you're considered not a Christian. For example, The non denominational church believes it's not a sin to drink alcohol and yet the baptists do. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Who's going to hell and who isn't? It's not right that the baptists get to point fingers at a person for believing differently. Am I right?

The only sin that will send you to hell Or I would rather say eternal death is the sin of unbelief in Jesus Christ. When you have truly trusted in Christ as your Savior you become a new creation and your spirit is joined with him. He takes away all of your sins and forgives all of them, past present and future. So no particular sin after you receive Christ as your savior is going to cause you to be lost. This is first of all the most important thing to understand. Now that being said, the Bible says any fornication outside of marriage is wrong. It is up to the couple I think to pray and search scripture and seek God’s leading in this. If they decide to have a marriage ceremony in front of family and friends and hopefully their church family then I would acknowledge them as married. It’s those who just say let’s live together, try it out and then say they are married and say they believe in Christ I would have a problem with. This is a gray area and if is sin to those who are getting married I would caution them on not doing it and Finding another way to make it without that disability check so they can get married legally. That would be a good thing to do anyway if they can. But if they feel this is a true marriage in the sight of God I would leave that up to them because again it is a gray area and God knows the heart. Maybe they need to find a new church family. Any church that says you’re not a Christian for doing this or that does not understand scripture. Faith in Christ is what makes you a Christian not what you do or don’t do. And God holds onto those that are his by putting Christ spirit in them in joining their spirit to him.

 

[eleos1954]

My friend wants to know if it's a sin to marry without a marriage license. She is planning on marrying her boyfriend but she said all of her Christian friends and family are giving her a hard time about it because her boyfriend can't sign a marriage license or he'll lose his disability check. They pretty much tell her that if she doesn't have a marriage license, she'll be living in sin and will no longer be considered a Christian. But she doesn't believe that. She thinks it's not a sin but her Christian friends will not stop pestering her about it. What are your opinions?
I can understand if someone is capable of signing a paper and doesn't do it, then that wouldn't be right. But if the person legally can't do it and that person is deeply in love, what do they do? Suffer all because of what one Christian thinks? I personally think denominations ruin Christianity. They all have different beliefs and if you don't listen to one of those beliefs, you're considered not a Christian. For example, The non denominational church believes it's not a sin to drink alcohol and yet the baptists do. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Who's going to hell and who isn't? It's not right that the baptists get to point fingers at a person for believing differently. Am I right?

Romans 13

1 Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which is from God. The authorities that exist have been appointed by God.

 

[RDKirk]

IMHO: it's not lying to the government, there is marriage in the eyes of the government, and marriage in the eyes of God. God wins IMHO. Not being married in the eyes of the government could preclude you two from making medical decisions for each other and limit hospital visitations etc., that's your choice.

Government needs to get out of the marriage business, because that's what it is to them, a way to make money. (again IMHO)

Except that the church uses the government to help it keep its own rules.

For instance, may a Christian man marry a woman who is already currently married to another man? No? Well the government goes through the trouble of making reasonably sure that's not the case when it issues a marriage license.

How would a pastor ensure that otherwise?

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Romans 13

1 Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which is from God. The authorities that exist have been appointed by God.

Did God authorize same sex marriage? Does God allow divorce for any reason? Did God sanction abortion? and on and on...Why fight these hot topics to conform to God's law when that very God says to follow and conform to mans laws? Maybe we are stretching this verse a bit.
Blessings

 

[RDKirk]

Did God authorize same sex marriage? Does God allow divorce for any reason? Did God sanction abortion? and on and on...Why fight these hot topics to conform to God's law when that very God says to follow and conform to mans laws? Maybe we are stretching this verse a bit.
Blessings

At this point, none of that prevents Christians from marrying according to our own religion.

What unbelievers do is their business--they are obeying their own master.

 

[abysmul]

How would a pastor ensure that otherwise?

How did congregations do this before government got involved? That's the congregation's problem. Government recognizes same sex marriage, what if marriage to non-humans becomes recognized? Does this force congregations to recognize the same, and therefore approved in the eyes of God?

 

[RDKirk]

How did congregations do this before government got involved? That's the congregation's problem. Government recognizes same sex marriage, what if marriage to non-humans becomes recognized? Does this force congregations to recognize the same, and therefore approved in the eyes of God?

Not that long ago, marriages were mostly within small communities. People married within groups who already knew everyone's histories. If your pastor didn't have personal knowledge of the prospective spouse's family, he might decline to marry you.

 

[eleos1954]

Did God authorize same sex marriage? Does God allow divorce for any reason? Did God sanction abortion? and on and on...Why fight these hot topics to conform to God's law when that very God says to follow and conform to mans laws? Maybe we are stretching this verse a bit.
Blessings

It is the difference between civil law and Gods moral law. Gods moral laws for the christian are to be kept. If and when, governments institute moral laws that violate Gods moral laws ... we (christians) are to keep Gods moral laws.

civil law - the system of law concerned with private relations between members of a community rather than criminal, military, or religious affairs.

In regard to the government requiring proof of marriage is a civil law.

 

[misput]

Just a thought, if a person is actually disabled, does getting married heal them?

 

[Celticroots]

No pastor will marry them if they cannot or will not have a marriage license. It would be illegal if the pastor did so. It would also be considered defrauding the government.

The better route for them may be a commitment ceremony.

This story touched me as I am in the same boat, although I am single. If I ever married my disability benefits would be taken away or reduced to the point as to be rendered useless. So a prospective husband would be the sole breadwinner, as I cannot hold a full time job.

I hope your friends find something that works for them.

I don’t think it was wise of your friend to even bring this up to her Christian friends, as they obviously don’t understand disability or her unique situation. This is her and her boyfriend’s life. I am sure they want to be married will all their hearts, but sometimes that isn’t practical.

Regarding not being able to sign the marriage license, the guy can physically sign it, but by doing so his disability income will be reduced or taken away, and for some that money may pay for things essential to that person for survival. Having it taken away is not an option for many people with disabilities.

 

[RDKirk]

No pastor will marry them if they cannot or will not have a marriage license. It would be illegal if the pastor did so. It would also be considered defrauding the government.

The better route for them may be a commitment ceremony.

This story touched me as I am in the same boat, although I am single. If I ever married my disability benefits would be taken away or reduced to the point as to be rendered useless. So a prospective husband would be the sole breadwinner, as I cannot hold a full time job.

I hope your friends find something that works for them.

I don’t think it was wise of your friend to even bring this up to her Christian friends, as they obviously don’t understand disability or her unique situation. This is her and her boyfriend’s life. I am sure they want to be married will all their hearts, but sometimes that isn’t practical.

What would be such a circumstance that disability benefits hinge on not being married? What country are we talking about?

 

[Celticroots]

Unless it goes against the word of God we obey the laws. And the word says.. we leave our mother and father and become one.. the Jewish people did this.. got married. For me.. to just go live with my girlfriend and call it marriage .. would be lying.. and in Gods eyes.. would be living in sin..

Its the NOT WANTING TO SIGN <----this is in the land we live in. Its sounds like one is trying to get around something that OTHERS can not. Its their free choice.. God is not going to judge or condemn. But.. we only serve one. Can not serve both. There IS always a price in this world for sin.

Is wise to be faithful to Him..the Father of our lord Jesus Christ. And in this land.. we are told we need a paper to get married.. GOD sticks to this.. it is NOT against His word

The boyfriend’s benefits could be taken away even if he and his girlfriend lived together.

 

[Celticroots]

What would be such a circumstance that disability benefits hinge on not being married? What country are we talking about?

From my understanding, once two people are married, they have a joint account so I suppose that the government would consider that enough for two people to get by, but if someone cannot work due to a disability or can only work part time that is not the case.

Look up the Marriage Penalty. The United States has this, although not every country does.

 

[Celticroots]

I would agree with those who say it's wrong to lie to the government in this case. Having the extra money in addition to your income is a good thing, but does it justify lying? I'm not convinced it does, personally. Perhaps God is asking you to take a step of faith by giving up his disability check so He can show His faithfulness to you by providing you with what you need regardless.

To start off your lives together by skirting the federal law does not feel right to me at all... Since what they are requiring is not inherently sinful I don't see a really strong argument for not signing the papers.

Is there a way you can push back against them taking away his disability check, however? That's always a third option. Contact someone or write a letter explaining your situation. I'm sure they've made exceptions before...

I don’t know the boyfriend’s particular disability, but that money for some pays for things that are essential to some individual’s survival. (Having workers come in to dress and feed you if you are incapable of doing those things for yourself because of being wheelchair bound because of muscular dystrophy for example.) Having it taken away is absolutely not an option for some people.

Having a disability makes one a realist. We do not compromise on the things we need to survive, as doing so could be dangerous.

And the care the person with the disability may need may cost thousands of dollars, an amount that the non disabled spouse may not be able to afford.

And the non disabled partner will be the sole breadwinner as well as care taker to the disabled person, which is an unfair amount of stress to put on anyone. And very few people want that responsibility.

 

[mama2one]

we don't know what type of disability the person has since not stated in the OP


know several people on disability; two live in my neighborhood

one has bipolar and is allowed to work part-time up to certain no. of hrs
another also is allowed to work part-time and they work a physically demanding job in the health care field; no idea what her disability but she said she can't work over a certain no. of hrs

it's possible the person mentioned in OP could also work part-time
with computers/Internet, one can generate income even if physically unable to leave house

 

[Celticroots]

we don't know what type of disability the person has since not stated in the OP


know several people on disability; two live in my neighborhood

one has bipolar and is allowed to work part-time up to certain no. of hrs
another also is allowed to work part-time and they work a physically demanding job in the health care field; no idea what her disability but she said she can't work over a certain no. of hrs

it's possible the person mentioned in OP could also work part-time
with computers/Internet, one can generate income even if physically unable to leave house

I know. I was able to hold part time employment for several years and received a pay check like everyone else, but we had to take it to the Social Security office every month.That money was not enough to support myself so I also needed SSI, although my mother was my main means of support.

Without knowing the boyfriend’s disability as well as the severity of it there’s no way of knowing what he is capable of.

 

[Maria Billingsley]

The better route for them may be a commitment ceremony.

I am not sure if God recognizes this as a marriage?

 

[Foxfyre]

My friend wants to know if it's a sin to marry without a marriage license. She is planning on marrying her boyfriend but she said all of her Christian friends and family are giving her a hard time about it because her boyfriend can't sign a marriage license or he'll lose his disability check. They pretty much tell her that if she doesn't have a marriage license, she'll be living in sin and will no longer be considered a Christian. But she doesn't believe that. She thinks it's not a sin but her Christian friends will not stop pestering her about it. What are your opinions?
I can understand if someone is capable of signing a paper and doesn't do it, then that wouldn't be right. But if the person legally can't do it and that person is deeply in love, what do they do? Suffer all because of what one Christian thinks? I personally think denominations ruin Christianity. They all have different beliefs and if you don't listen to one of those beliefs, you're considered not a Christian. For example, The non denominational church believes it's not a sin to drink alcohol and yet the baptists do. Which one is right? Which one is wrong? Who's going to hell and who isn't? It's not right that the baptists get to point fingers at a person for believing differently. Am I right?

I don't think man made laws negate what God has joined together. Legal issues are something else again and just because God and the couple know they are pledged in marriage--two have become one--does not give them the legal protections that a signed and filed marriage license does.

However, a number of states recognize common law marriages--those that have not been officially formalized. I think the current list includes Alabama, Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, and Washington, D.C. If I recall correctly, there may be others that recognize common law marriages from other states?