Does it make you uncomfortable when...

[Blank123]

Make me uncomfortable that someone cares enough to pray for me? What???? Even if it doesn't change anything about me, I am deeply touched by their kindness and love. Never did I imagine that I'd see the day when Christians get upset about other Christians praying out of love for them.

not to speak for Jennie, but i don't think its the love behind the offers that offend. Its just... when God has brought you to a place of contentment and understanding about your place in life and someone comes along and offers to pray over that situation to change it based only on their assumptions rather than asking if there is something to pray for... then it becomes uncomfortable.

Its very much like an able-bodied person assuming that a person with a disability is helpless and miserable so they become overly helpful when its not needed. his or her motivations may be the best, but wrongful assumptions are being made and lines are being crossed which leads to an awkward and uncomfortable situation. If that same well-meaning person had simply taken the time to get to know the other and understand where he or she was coming from and how they felt rather than act on assumptions, then the uncomfortable awkwardness could have been avoided.

 

[penNpaper]

People tell you they're going to pray for you about something you know for a fact won't change? Such as a health thing, or your job (because they view it differently) or something else in your life? How do you handle these situations?

For example: As practically all of you know, I'm in a wheelchair and totally content with it, never been a major issue. But especially when I was younger people would come up to me and say that they would pray that the Lord would heal me, or that "they know some day He will". It use to make me really uncomfortable because forever I always was content in the way I was and I didnt pray for God to heal me, I didnt even pray 'if it's your will", it just never entered my mind to do so. I got to the point where I just told people who would say that that "I feel this is my purpose that God has given me, to be this way and I am very content with that fact. It is not impossible for Him to heal me." Or something along those lines.

So anyway, ever had one of those situations? Where someone says "I'll pray for you" but you feel uncomfortable about it?

I can relate and understand when it comes to my own disability - my vision. In the past I had people pray over me on this - I went down to the alter - for Healing - eventually has time pass - I stop going down to the alter - didn't always ask for prayers when it comes to my vision. Not because I "lost" faith but just like you said I'm content with it.

I often say this as being 100% realistic and a Believer when it comes to my vision.

"Unless the Lord heals me - I'm going Blind" I don't speak "death" in my situation. I am content and preparing for the "worst" just in case I do go Blind one day - I won't go through life "nothing is the matter" or "God will heal me" - the Lord created everyone to be what...DIFFERENT.

I am happy about who I am in Christ. I am content about my disability. I had issues in my youth but now I'm alright with it. I am just preparing my life around the idea that I may go blind so I've taken steps to prepare myself and get the help that I need in seeking employment now

So I understand what Jen Jen is talking about

God Bless,
Drew

 

[SweetDee]

not to speak for Jennie, but i don't think its the love behind the offers that offend. Its just... when God has brought you to a place of contentment and understanding about your place in life and someone comes along and offers to pray over that situation to change it based only on their assumptions rather than asking if there is something to pray for... then it becomes uncomfortable.

Its very much like an able-bodied person assuming that a person with a disability is helpless and miserable so they become overly helpful when its not needed. his or her motivations may be the best, but wrongful assumptions are being made and lines are being crossed which leads to an awkward and uncomfortable situation. If that same well-meaning person had simply taken the time to get to know the other and understand where he or she was coming from and how they felt rather than act on assumptions, then the uncomfortable awkwardness could have been avoided.

I agree 100%


I also think the point of this thread was to see if anyone can relate to being in an uncomfortable situation involving prayer- Not the meaning behind being uncomfortable or what it may or may not say about the person.

 

[Gista]

I especially hate it when some christians use prayer judgmentally. There's nothing else like being told "I'll pray that you find your way back to the Lord" that makes want to run naked through a room filled with the pious and holy.

Haha, yeah, i get that all the time. "Oh, you're playing poker, i'll pray for you." Sees me with a person from an unsavory crowd, self-righteously nods, "i'll pray for you."

If someone drinks beer, "i'll pray for you."

 

[Squeakers]

I'm kind of uncomfortable with people praying for me in general. I love to pray for others but when they mention they're praying for me I always feel guilty. I guess if I have a problem I prefer to pray and deal with it myself instead of burdening others with it.

This is exactly how I feel.

 

[LadyOfMystery]

not to speak for Jennie, but i don't think its the love behind the offers that offend. Its just... when God has brought you to a place of contentment and understanding about your place in life and someone comes along and offers to pray over that situation to change it based only on their assumptions rather than asking if there is something to pray for... then it becomes uncomfortable.

Its very much like an able-bodied person assuming that a person with a disability is helpless and miserable so they become overly helpful when its not needed. his or her motivations may be the best, but wrongful assumptions are being made and lines are being crossed which leads to an awkward and uncomfortable situation. If that same well-meaning person had simply taken the time to get to know the other and understand where he or she was coming from and how they felt rather than act on assumptions, then the uncomfortable awkwardness could have been avoided.

I agree 100%


I also think the point of this thread, was to see if anyone can relate to being in an uncomfortable situation involving prayer- Not the meaning behind being uncomfortable or what it may or may not say about the person.

These both sum up my thoughts entirely.

 

[Fenny the Fox]

Definitely, a few times. I know people mean well when they pull out the "I'll pray for you" over my medical issues, and I simply say "thank you". But it can really awkward when they say it like something in my health will change because of it - even when in relatively good health.

I have Cystic Fibrosis. It is genetic, it is lifelong, it is what it is. I'm fine with it; as fine as one can be knowing they have a chronic disorder, anyway. Hasn't kept me down yet, and not going to let it now. So I am perfectly content just dealing with the problems as they come, and living my life.

I really don't like the sympathy people always heap out when they find out. It is always awkward to me when people do this - they didn't before they knew, so why now? Why act different now, nothing is different? And no, I don't need you to prayer over it, God knows already - I've had it my whole of 21 years alive now. Not going to change status now.

If I am in the hospital (been there, done that...relatively recently) then yes, please pray for me; pray it gets back to normal, I can go about my life, that it is nothing too bad - and thank you muchly for doing so.

Otherwise? No, I don't really feel like I need someone pointing out to God that I am sick and that I have a disorder and all that, as if He doesn't know.

And pointing it out to me, by asking me "can I pray about that?" - as if you aren't going to anyway? Thanks. Now not only do you know, but you feel sorry for me. Now I feel great. You could have said "Oh, well thanks for letting me know" then went and prayed for me like you are likely to do anyway, if you truly are inclined to pray for me at all and aren't just being "polite". -And if that is the case...-

Maybe just a bit of a annoyance for me? Sorry...


So..to answer in short: yes. Yes it does make me feel uncomfortable.

 

[explodingboy]

People tell you they're going to pray for you about something you know for a fact won't change? Such as a health thing, or your job (because they view it differently) or something else in your life? How do you handle these situations?

I appreciate the gesture, and take it as a sign that they care.

The only time I've ever found it truly uncomfortable was just before I left for America, and the pastor felt the need to give me a group prayer as part of the farewell.. wasn't the praying though.. I just really dislike being the centre of attention, and a public spectacle.

 

[puffca]

How about your pastor pray for you to end being single, in public? Yeah, it was a little embarrassing.

 

[PinkSweetart]

I just try to be gracious in those situations. If they want to pray about it they can, and I don't mind having people pray for me, so I just politely thank them.

I agree with this.

 

[lostaquarium]

People tell you they're going to pray for you about something you know for a fact won't change? Such as a health thing, or your job (because they view it differently) or something else in your life? How do you handle these situations?

For example: As practically all of you know, I'm in a wheelchair and totally content with it, never been a major issue. But especially when I was younger people would come up to me and say that they would pray that the Lord would heal me, or that "they know some day He will". It use to make me really uncomfortable because forever I always was content in the way I was and I didnt pray for God to heal me, I didnt even pray 'if it's your will", it just never entered my mind to do so. I got to the point where I just told people who would say that that "I feel this is my purpose that God has given me, to be this way and I am very content with that fact. It is not impossible for Him to heal me." Or something along those lines.

So anyway, ever had one of those situations? Where someone says "I'll pray for you" but you feel uncomfortable about it?

YES

 

[Rhamiel]

to tell the turth
i can use all the prayes i can get, so i am not picky when they say they will pray for this and that
also, I can not know the future, so this thing that they pray for might seem impossible to me but God can do all things

I normally do not pray for specific things, i pray for people
God knows what they need better then me

 

[Rhamiel]

I have people tell me that they are praying that I get saved and come out of the harlot of babylon....
i used to get so mad
so so so so mad
but now I see that it is an act of love.... though missguided, they really think my Church is demonic and they want me to have a joyfilled life in Christ....

 

[lostaquarium]

to tell the turth
i can use all the prayes i can get, so i am not picky when they say they will pray for this and that
also, I can not know the future, so this thing that they pray for might seem impossible to me but God can do all things

I normally do not pray for specific things, i pray for people
God knows what they need better then me

This is a good attitude

I also like your idea of praying for people rather than specific things.

My mother is clearly on her deathbed. When friends say they're praying for healing, I honestly don't know how to react.

 

[Rhamiel]

This is a good attitude

I also like your idea of praying for people rather than specific things.

My mother is clearly on her deathbed. When friends say they're praying for healing, I honestly don't know how to react.

some people are scared of death.... they do not know how to react so they are in denial
they care about you and your mother and do not know what else to do

for your mother

 

[Kaonashi]

ugh, have had this happen quite a few times especially after they found out I was a Aspie. What really angers and upsets me the most are those who come up to my gay friends and offer to pray the gay away as if being gay was something that would vanish after being "healed"

 

[Stravinsk]

You should feel incredibly guilty.

Because people want to pray. Prayer warriors need to pray. It's part of their growtivation. One day, they will be perfect, because they are continually in prayer.

Besides this - you should always have hope. God can do anything. We all know that.

And if that hope is deferred, it's your fault. You weren't godly enough. You didn't have enough faith.

[/sarcasm]

If there is anything that challenges faith more- it is hope deferred. Hope destroyed.

Your mom has terminal cancer. People pray - she dies. You were told it was a sin to *not* have hope. So you hoped. You prayed. They prayed.

She died. It wasn't God's will. Or maybe no one had enough faith.

But you must...BELIEVE.

Does anyone else see this as just a bit cruel?

 

[white dove]

You should feel incredibly guilty.

Because people want to pray. Prayer warriors need to pray. It's part of their growtivation. One day, they will be perfect, because they are continually in prayer.

Besides this - you should always have hope. God can do anything. We all know that.

And if that hope is deferred, it's your fault. You weren't godly enough. You didn't have enough faith.

[/sarcasm]

If there is anything that challenges faith more- it is hope deferred. Hope destroyed.

Your mom has terminal cancer. People pray - she dies. You were told it was a sin to *not* have hope. So you hoped. You prayed. They prayed.

She died. It wasn't God's will. Or maybe no one had enough faith.

But you must...BELIEVE.

Does anyone else see this as just a bit cruel?

I, personally, think it's wrong to assume that God will heal people simply because they ask, they're His children and so of course, they must be healed. I think it's cruel to say to someone - or even think - that it's their lack of faith that caused someone else's sickness or death, sure, of course. My first thought was what those people prayed for - for God's will to be done, or for theirs? When I've had people pray for me or others, more often than not, they pray that God's will be done. That sometimes doesn't look like how we want or expect it to look, but I think it's equally important to pray that God make you ready for whatever His will is for you and your life or the life of whoever you're praying for. Just praying to be healed, clapping your hands and saying, "Welp, I did my part" is not at all the way to act in faith. But, that's my opinion.

 

[septemberskies]

When people have done these sort of things to me its just plain annoying to be honest...


To put it in perspective, yes God can change things but what I'm experiencing is not necessarily a curse. It's just who I am... it is what it is.

 

[Sapphyre]

I normally do not pray for specific things, i pray for people
God knows what they need better then me

I like this attitude as well. I think I do this more often than praying for specific things... when I am praying, the people I care about come to mind, and I pray for them. If I know of something specific and have been asked to pray, of course I do it. But I do know a fair amount of people who are uncomfortable when someone says they will pray for them, and by either making the faux pa myself or seeing someone else do it, I've learned to just keep my intentions silent around them.

You don't always need to tell someone you're praying for them - some find comforting, others find it uncomfortable. Just know your audience.