Does God Make Someone Love You?

[seeker2122]

I was single for 17 years. I was engaged maybe 5 times. I told God if it was not His will then slam the door shut and He did. Finally, He felt I was ready and He provided me with a wife. Not all I thought I wanted or needed. But she is a wonderful loving, caring, giving person. We have been married for 25 years.

In general God puts His love in us for people. He loves them through us. We are a vessel used for honor. Even if she loved me as much as she loves her brothers. That is a lot more than a lot of people have in their marriage. Even if we can not get the marriage to work. We are still brothers and sisters in the Lord and she is still my friend.

Thanks for sharing brother. My mentor once said about marriage, "What's love got anything to do with it?" (meaning romantic love / hollywoodized love). He claims that western/hollywood-ized love is really dangerous. Love doesn't have anything to do with marriage. But as you were alluding to, marriage is about Christ love, and loving each other the way Christ loved the church, edifying her, honoring her, protecting her, and glorifying God in our marriage. Romantic love should really have nothing to do with marriage but we grew up in that culture and idolized that relationship. I always have and still do focus primarily on a romantic love I am seeking as a Christian even though it appears that it is often just silly boy notions and I need to mature to see what marriage is really about...not puppy love and romantic love.

Not that I condone or desire arranged marriages as it was customarily done in the past, but I can see why in arranged marriages, you have to learn how to truly love someone because you didn't pick them nor were you romantically attracted to them. Someone was just given you and they are a child of God and we needed to learn how to live out that love. It's a very selfless and mature love. But today, we live in a culture where we marry who we are attracted to, romantically. That does seem to be a very shallow and silly boy way even though I desire it.

 

[seeker2122]

If I were the OP I'd be careful. The devil can play this sort of game as well and he's pretty good at it. He can set up people for a lot of heartbreak if they're not careful.

I had an ambarassing crush on a young lady in the church I attended years ago. The pastor was trying to talk me out of it, and so was everybody else. In the end I was travelling on a bus one day whining in my mind about this issue when a voice just said out of the blue "Bob! Is (young lady's name) suited to you!??" with a distinct emphasis on the word "suited". In other words, "NO!".

Eventually I did meet my current wife (31 years married now) through a Christian singles group, as advised by the pastor. He said "If you go there, you'll both be looking for the same thing." Are there any Christian singles groups you could investigate? Most churches are fairly small playing fields in the romantic sense.

I did have the advantage of a humorous best man. I'm hard of hearing, so he saw that as an opportunity for a joke during one of his speeches at the reception.

He said I was sitting at a bus stop. The lady next to me said "Excuse me!" After a couple of times I got the message and said "Yes?"

She said "You've got some jelly and custard hangin out of your ear!"

I said "What?"

She repeated, "You've got some jelly and custard hanging out of your ear!"

After a couple more times I heard what she said.

I replied, "Oh, that's all right! I'm a trifle deaf!"...

Incidentally the honeymoon phase doesn't last long before it's down to the boring nitty gritty of married life. I think CS Lewis said in some respects it's almost like a business relationship. You know - who's taking the rubbish out, who is doing the shopping, who is taking the kids to school, did you remember to lock the door, and "I'm washing my hair, so I'll take longer in the shower!"

To repeat I'd be careful if I were the OP. Consider a singles group if there is one.

Thank you for sharing! I love these anecdotes. I would love to hear more from others who have experienced these things (whether it has a happy ending or not).

Yes, I agree. The devil can and does work with this also. That's why I keep asking God to speak to me powerfully so that I know. I ask God for an understanding and discerning heart because I don't want any part of anything that isn't the perfect will of God but just my own conjured up fantasies to glorify God.

It's good that you mentioned that your Pastor said something. If others around you are telling you the opposite, that is a good sign because God also works and speaks through those around us. In my case, there hasn't been anyone or anything really telling me opposite....yet. It's still
a conviction or belief I have that seems to be growing each week that there could be something here but I am asking God to help me discern so that I'm not fooling myself with my own thoughts but that I am seeing the hand of God at work.

I'm also cognizant of the impact my own obedience or lack thereof may play in the final outcome. I fear that if I don't remain faithful or obedient to God, then it is very possible and likely that this won't work out and I'll think to myself it was false all along but maybe it was real but I just dropped the ball (again).

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I'm sure God certainly could make someone else love me if He wanted to. So why doesn't He? For the same reason He doesn't make anybody love Him. He wants it to be a voluntary act. If it's forced, is it really genuine love?

 

[Diamond7]

Not that I condone or desire arranged marriages as it was customarily done in the past

My wife has arranged maybe five marriages. People would ask her to find someone for them. Even she arranged a marriage for her sister and her best friend. I do not think that work out as well as marriages where people find the person for themselves. There are websites for just about anything you would want. So it is pretty easy to find someone nowadays. I just think people should give more consideration to finding someone from another country. It adds a lot of problems having to get a visa and the work that goes into getting citizenship. But it is an accomplishment and they are proud to be an American citizen with a passport to go anywhere they want to go. Of course, there are a lot of Nigerian scams out there, so you have to be careful of people who are catfishing.

 

[Sabertooth]

I believe that God created the system of attraction that includes "looks" & pheromones --two boxes that should be ticked off-- but those, alone, do not guarantee that she is compatible with your faith.

And your physical attraction just has to be mutual, not necessarily universal.
You gotta be able to look at each other...!

 

[Aaron112]

My wife has arranged maybe five marriages. People would ask her to find someone for them. Even she arranged a marriage for her sister and her best friend.

How many of those your wife arranged are still together ? Any not ?