Do you think we meet people for a reason?

[Dr Bruce Atkinson]

People say everything happens for a reason, how about the people you meet?

I have these friends... I've been avoiding for some time... They're great people... Its just I'm not in a great place ...but they are...
I know they're not judgemental but...

Idk I just feel insecure because were not in the same space... They have degrees and jobs, one a girlfriend and.....I keep fearing one day they'll be too busy for me and leave me behind...so I try to leave them before they leave me ...in a sense.

I don't want to feel the pain of them being too busy for me one day, you know. I just ... I don't know.

I wish I could already be in a good place...like they are :/

Yep. The primary reaction to fear is avoidance. You need to be "anxious for nothing." As long as you fear, you will be avoiding all the best things in life.

RISK HAPPINESS!

To reveal your ideas in public is to risk criticism and change,

To reach out to another is to risk involvement and rejection,

To laugh is to risk offending others or appearing foolish,

To weep is to risk appearing weak or overly sentimental,

To express feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To trust ..... is to risk betrayal,
To hope ..... is to risk despair,
To try ..... is to risk failure,
To live ... is to risk dying,
To have .. is to risk loss.

So be prudent, but take your risks;

A greater danger is in risking nothing;
By risking nothing, you avoid some trials,
But reap some consequences that are worse:
Without risk, there is no growth or achievement.
A person who risks nothing has nothing and is nothing.

Chained by the illusion of certainty, safety, and security,
the person must forfeit freedom, opportunity, and even love.

- Bruce Atkinson

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

if these people can't except you for who you are then they actually are NOT your friends.

 

[danstribe]

Oh boy, there's that fear again! Don't give in to the fear, don't feed it cause it will only grow bigger and stronger! I know, I've had debilitating phobias which are fears and the only way I overcame them was to hit them head on! I know the fear of rejection and feeding it by rejecting them first only makes it worse the next time and there will be a next time over and over until you learn the better way to deal with it. Remember it is God working with you teaching you and strengthening you. Again, prayer and reading the bible will give you answers and help! And you will do it because God is working a good work in you and soon you will look back and say "Wow! God has really been with me!"

 

[Brambleclaw5]

Often, American society places so much emphasis on success and money. the American Dream - to make a living and more? Or to live peacefully? Both? People are tempted to place their identity on wealth and position-I'm guilty of this too, even as a Christian. When we don't have the same or desire economic or educational position, we feel inferior, sad, and perhaps angry with God. We break down and feel sad - identity feels lost. But, we must work on learning who we are in Christ. I think most people have things they place as a part of their identity - family, work, money, ect. But, once it's lost, they feel they have no worth. We have worth in Christ. I am still working on understanding my identity in Christ. Be praying for you sis. Hearts to you!

 

[Greg J.]

Re: Do you think we meet people for a reason?

Everything that happens is for a reason—from God's perspective.

However, not everything that happens is for a reason from our perspective (e.g., the outcomes of all the dice rolled in Las Vegas today). We could say, "God ordained it all," but that is only the result of believing a theory that can't be proven.

Much rightly gets lumped into the category of "no one knows the reason" or "no one can know the reason at this time." The butterfly effect makes it sound like there is a reason for everything (but we just don't know it), but actually it is just a theory, because we can't prove the theory (almost by definition).

 

[PastorFreud]

The problem with believing that "everything happens for a reason" is that we often don't have the discernment to sort out what that reason is. Did that person come into my life because they hold a valuable lesson for me? Or did that person come into my life as someone I should help? Do I need to embrace this person or see this as a chance to practice setting boundaries? Ultimately, "everything happens for a reason" becomes meaningless by itself.

Now as for the rest of the stuff in the OP, there is a suggestion that you need to work through some topics like acceptance, avoidance, etc. Again, however, I would be wary of seeking to interpret these concerns without a fuller context. Sometimes creating distance is exactly what you need to do, other times it shows there is a problem. If it's time to separate from some people and the only thing keeping you from doing so is a belief that there is some larger purpose, you might be missing some of those critical details of context that are important.

 

[turkle]

Sorry for being human. Everyone experiences jealousy though alot of people don't want to admit it...I'm just being honest and not lying or covering it up...and I know you have experienced it to some degree as well..

But I have texted my friends though...its just difficult... If you've never been in the position of being the under dog while you watch others you help soar and fly..you'll never understand and just point fingers like those who think they know everything and they don't...

Its easy to say ," How incredibly sad" when you haven't lost you place,friends..just about everything and hear and see your friends get everything they ever wanted..that. Is. Hard. It just is , and if you're honest you'll agree too...

I'm not saying I'm not happy for them , I just want to be happy with them... That is all...but if you've never been in my position or struggled in your life...then I don't expect you to understand or grasp what I'm saying ...

Because you lack the experience.

That's interesting that you think that I lack experience in this. I have spent my life in some incredibly difficult situations. I have been where you are. I have been jealous.

The difference is, I learned, through my experiences, to never again allow difficulty nor fear to rule my behavior and attitudes. This only comes from real experience. Courage is not a natural response...in fact, it's very unnatural. The only way to gain courage is to face your fears head on and get past them. That is what I have done and continue to do. When I stumble, I remember that God told us to "fear not and be courageous". This is a command that I take seriously.

What I can tell you from my experience is that when you give in to fear, you will be miserable. From what you've said, that's exactly what you're doing. This is why I am encouraging you to not give in to it. When you refuse to be victimized by people or circumstances, you are able to experience victory over fear. Life is so much better when this lesson is learned. Sadly, many people stay stuck in their own misery and choose to allow fear to direct their attitudes. My hope is that this will not be you. When you allow the Holy Spirit to guide you through negative thoughts and feelings, you are able to gain victory over them and experience the joy of the Lord as your strength. We are responsible for our attitudes in how we deal with difficult situations, and I encourage you to do it as the Lord has directed us in scripture.

 

[ToBeLoved]

if these people can't except you for who you are then they actually are NOT your friends.

We are called to be God's Children, not worldly. If there is no difference between us and them, no fruit of the Spirit than we have failed our God.

Our view of friendship and friends is pretty fickle. Are our real friends people who help US or are our real friends people that WE help and love.

We have God's standard of love, because our standard is not really a standard but usually us using our own selfishness and motivations and then telling ourselves that they were not our real friends. Many times I have been a real cruddy friend.

We cannot put the own-ness on the world, the own=ness must be on Christ's people (US). If we have no light, than how can we say our Savior has light? We have to represent.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

We are called to be God's Children, not worldly. If there is no difference between us and them, no fruit of the Spirit than we have failed our God.

Our view of friendship and friends is pretty fickle. Are our real friends people who help US or are our real friends people that WE help and love.

We have God's standard of love, because our standard is not really a standard but usually us using our own selfishness and motivations and then telling ourselves that they were not our real friends. Many times I have been a real cruddy friend.

We cannot put the own-ness on the world, the own=ness must be on Christ's people (US). If we have no light, than how can we say our Savior has light? We have to represent.

....huh?

 

[ToBeLoved]

....huh?

That's ok. Think we need to spread God's love. That's the whole thing.

 

[com7fy8]

"be content with such things as you have" (in Hebrews 13:5)

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

That's ok. Think we need to spread God's love. That's the whole thing.

just don't understand what prompted such a reply...

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Yup.I believe we meet people and are friends with them for a reason,and also lose friends for a reason too.

 

[Emmy]

Dear Far Side Of the Moon. In Matthew 22, Jesus tells us:
"The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: love thy neighbour as thyself." In verse 40 we are told: on these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. There are people we are supposed to meet, but generally we are friendly to all we see and meet. God is Love, and God wants loving sons and daughters.
The Bible tells us to ask for Love and Joy, the thank God and share all love and joy and kindness with all we know and meet. ( Matthew 7: 7-10 tells us " ask and receive."
Jesus our Saviour will lead and guide us, JESUS IS THE WAY.
The Holy Spirit will help and guide us, and soon we will be surrounded by God`s Love and Blessings. Jesus died that we might live. I say this with love, Far Side Of the Moon. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[Blade]

Far side of the moon. Put your hope in Christ. Remember the least in this world.. gain this world. There are those that all they do is pray and no more. They are some of the greatest in heaven. Anyway I know what you saying.. it happens. I had friends in collage.. we tried to stay in touch but.. each went there way.. such is life. Just get out.. go to church.. make MORE friends lol

 

[ToBeLoved]

just don't understand what prompted such a reply...

Try to follow the thread and the post that I specifically replied to.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Try to follow the thread and the post that I specifically replied to.

my original reply wasn't to where the thread was going but unto the OP. she talked about how she feels her 'friends' won't accept her unless she is on their level socio-economically. my reply to that is if that's how they would feel then they aren't actually your friends.

 

[Monna]

Two thoughts...

Recently I wondered why in the story of Adam and Eve eating of the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil there is any mention of them suddenly noticing their nakedness and felt the need to cover up. Then an idea came that it was at this point they started comparing one another - they saw one another "as they were" and immediately began making comparisons. Somehow we have a terrible time trying to see things as "different but equal." We seem always to fall into the trap of thinking anything that is different is either better or worse. We go one step further in our current societies, and we compare one another (and ourselves) with some fantasy "perfect person" who doesn't really exist at all.

Paul told the Galatian Christians about living true freedom in relationships. He wrote in ch 5:14 "the whole law is fulfilled in keeping this one command; 'love one another as yourself.'" Eugene Peterson explains this in his book Traveling Light (ch 12) "To love my neighbour as less than myself is to treat them as a means to my ends. To love them as more would set them up for using me as a means to their ends. One way is as much a violation of love as the other, and as destructive of freedom....For love is the free act supreme." John tells us "perfect love overcomes fear" - you defeat fear, not with bravery, but with love.

There is a book called "Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?" (John Powell - you can get it from Zondervan or Amazon.) In it the author says a young woman challenged him by asking if he knew the answer. Then she answered it for him "because if I tell you who I really am, you might not like it, and it is all I have." And I find this so true of all of us. We look at others, wish we could be close friends with some, but are afraid to making the move, because we might be rejected, and that's scary because we are all we have.

Perhaps the starting point is to stop thinking and wanting other people to be there for us (this is using them for our purposes) but also avoiding setting ourselves up to be used by others for their (selfish) purposes. How? Maybe the first step is to listen. Listen. Listen. There are huge numbers of lonely people out there, many of them hiding their loneliness by talking big, putting on a show of being happy, when very often what they long for is a listening ear. You no doubt love it when somebody gives their time to you to listen to you. They are no different. You don't need to give them advice, or make deep comments about what they say... for the first while just listen. Listening is an act of kindness and patience, both ingredients of love. Listening encouragingly (and not replying with arguments) is also a way to build trust - which is another characteristic of love. Show respect and do not condemn - that's not our business - and it is not love. Be forgiving - another aspect of love. After a while they will notice that you have listened a lot without talking much about yourself. Then you'll know you've made a breakthrough.

Suspend your inner voice of judgement (either of them or yourself), your voice of cynicism (thinking "it will never work"), and most of all your inner voice of fear (that you will not be accepted or liked). You just might surprise yourself!

And change the way you think of failure. When Thomas Edison was inventing the light bulb he had to make thousands of attempts with different materials. But his attitude was "I didn't fail, I just found 10,000 ways that don't work." So if things don't go swimmingly the first time, don't give up - think of what happened and learn what "didn't work" and why. When something DOES work, stop to ask yourself - "what did I do that time that worked?" so you learn from both your less successful and more successful approaches.

You can do it!

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

That's interesting that you think that I lack experience in this. I have spent my life in some incredibly difficult situations. I have been where you are. I have been jealous.

The difference is, I learned, through my experiences, to never again allow difficulty nor fear to rule my behavior and attitudes. This only comes from real experience. Courage is not a natural response...in fact, it's very unnatural. The only way to gain courage is to face your fears head on and get past them. That is what I have done and continue to do. When I stumble, I remember that God told us to "fear not and be courageous". This is a command that I take seriously.

What I can tell you from my experience is that when you give in to fear, you will be miserable. From what you've said, that's exactly what you're doing. This is why I am encouraging you to not give in to it. When you refuse to be victimized by people or circumstances, you are able to experience victory over fear. Life is so much better when this lesson is learned. Sadly, many people stay stuck in their own misery and choose to allow fear to direct their attitudes. My hope is that this will not be you. When you allow the Holy Spirit to guide you through negative thoughts and feelings, you are able to gain victory over them and experience the joy of the Lord as your strength. We are responsible for our attitudes in how we deal with difficult situations, and I encourage you to do it as the Lord has directed us in scripture.

You know what ,you are truly right. It wasn't till I got back in touch with my friend and he told me about all he did... I felt like I missed out on hearing how happy he was and how well everything went that o realized I wasn't acting right. My friend is like me, he doesn't have many friends... And if is able to be happy for me I should be for him....not only that ...but I since were close I knew all that he went through...and it was alot just for him to be where he is now, about to be married.,.and happy. That made me feel bad to the point I really had to repent,,,because that's not right,,and I hate I made exscuse for these feelings.,,yes jealous is hard and everyone experiences it ...but it shouldn't be normalized ...and I apologize for that..

And I'm do feel these friend are in my life for a reason because they came at a time when I need them th3 most....and they needed me...

I was afraid bc my friend is getting married...and I was afraid of have to let him go....but now I'm okay ...because that's all apart of life, somethings have to come to an end naturally.... But if you really love your friends...you won't speed up the process and you'll be there for them however long the Lord allows you to be in there life.

I'm glad I was able to get over myself just in time to celebrate his engagement plans ...and soon marriage. I really hope I get to be in his life...

Bc I know he's going to have children and I just want to be there. So I can be their aunt and spoil them ...and see how they look like him and his gf ...

I hope I get that opportunity.

Thanks guys for talking sense into me

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Far side of the moon. Put your hope in Christ. Remember the least in this world.. gain this world. There are those that all they do is pray and no more. They are some of the greatest in heaven. Anyway I know what you saying.. it happens. I had friends in collage.. we tried to stay in touch but.. each went there way.. such is life. Just get out.. go to church.. make MORE friends lol

Yes defintely, but ill never forget these friends because there are some that have such an impact ..you can never really forget....but making more friends helps.