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Do you think that using pornography is equal to cheating?

Discussion in 'Married Couples' started by Deidre32, Aug 18, 2018.

  1. BigDaddy4

    BigDaddy4 Movin' on...

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    So true. I remember needing a glass for some milk after school in elementary (can't remember exact age, but 5th, 6th grade-ish). All the regular ones were in the dishwasher so I opened a little used cupboard and found a set of eight glasses where the people's clothes on them would disappear when you poured a cold liquid in them. Four naked ladies for dad, four naked men for mom. Never saw my parents used them, but there they were, with the pictures facing toward the back to be "discreet".

    But then the thought of my parents having sex.... EWW!! lol
     
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  2. OK Jeff

    OK Jeff Active Member

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    I’m glad you’re happy in a life of celibacy. But it doesn’t suit me and my bride. And since there is no biblical basis for it, I’ll wish you well and go on.
     
  3. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    Thanks.
     
  4. Dan61861

    Dan61861 7 days without God, makes one weak.

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    Men are more visual than women, while women are more mental than men. Visually, my wife arouses me, while my words whispered in her ear arouses her.

    With that said, woman gravitate more towards fantasy books than men. Would this be considered cheating?

    In Christ
    Daniel
     
  5. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

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    An old stereotype that is rapidly falling apart. Women are now just as visual as men are. and men are getting to be more "mental" or emotional than they used to be.
     
  6. Dan61861

    Dan61861 7 days without God, makes one weak.

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    I think it still holds true, not to say men aren't emotional or women aren't visual. However it still holds true that men are more visual than emotional, while women are more mental than visual.

    But that truly wasn't the point I was making. Women tend to gravitate towards romantic novels more than men. A romantic novel can be very erotic...for example 50 shades of Gray. It was very popular among women. Would this be considered cheating?

    In Christ
    Daniel
     
  7. Jon Osterman

    Jon Osterman Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I think so. Wouldn't you? It is certainly giving into your lusts while thinking of people who are not your spouse.
     
  8. OK Jeff

    OK Jeff Active Member

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    You think enjoying your spouse is a sin, so enough said.

    To answer the question, if one is, the other would be as well.
     
  9. Jon Osterman

    Jon Osterman Well-Known Member

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    Fixed it for you!

    I don't think anyone was disputing it was a sin (at least I hope not!). The issue was whether or not it was tantamount to cheating.
     
  10. Guy Incognito

    Guy Incognito Matt 6:25-34

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    "Fixed" it for you too ;)
     
  11. OK Jeff

    OK Jeff Active Member

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    Everyone has given scriptural proof that enjoying ones spouse is not a sin. And yes there is dispute whether or not porn is cheating. It’s wrong, a sin, but cheating?
     
  12. RDKirk

    RDKirk Alien, Pilgrim, and Sojourner Supporter

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    Hey, does this include women reading trashy novels?

    If not, why not?
     
  13. OK Jeff

    OK Jeff Active Member

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    As I said above, where one fits, so does the other.
     
  14. Jon Osterman

    Jon Osterman Well-Known Member

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    Of course it does. Why wouldn't it? The original etymology of porno-graphy is writing about sex, so the written word most certainly counts.

    I suppose the better question is, where does one draw the line? For example, I think many music videos undoubtedly count as pornography. On the subtler level I remember being disgusted by some more "classic" works like Brief Encounter and Wuthering Heights, which I think also have contributed to our modern moral degeneracy, perhaps moreso because of their sophistication and "artistic" branding.
     
  15. SgtBen

    SgtBen To Serve and Protect Supporter

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    Why would one need pornography to begin with? If you need this kind of stimulus, look at your life and understand where this perverted need comes from. If you need pornography, there are two things wrong. 1)you need to work on your marriage and possibly go to counseling and 2) if you like it, get help. Most normal people can deal with life without porn.

    Who follows Christ, and lives by God's law, in a good marriage, needs pornography?

    There is something very wrong there.

    Ben
     
  16. Dan61861

    Dan61861 7 days without God, makes one weak.

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    Absolutely

    In Christ
    Daniel
     
  17. Dan61861

    Dan61861 7 days without God, makes one weak.

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    Wouldn't you say, each of us has sin we must bear? Drinking may be a problem with one man while it isn't a problem for another. Pride may hit one hard while lust tests another. Isn't glorious that Christ has washed us clean? I truly believe this is what the Lord meant when he said judge righteously. We are all fallen creatures in need of Christ.

    In Christ
    Daniel
     
  18. Deidre32

    Deidre32 Follow Thy Heart

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    I'm saddened when I read stories on this marriage website whereby women are beating themselves up for their husband's porn use, as if they're unattractive, it's all their fault, etc. My husband commented to me about all this the other day, I told him about the thread I posted here, and he said that if I needed pics of other men to arouse me before climbing into bed with him...he wouldn't want to be with me. He said, it's not that I don't think we can find other people attractive, that's natural. But, to ''need'' that before you have sex with me, would be a turn off.

    I agree with him, and it all becomes a slippery slope. It's like telling God ''let me have just a little sin Lord, I can handle it.''
     
  19. Jon Osterman

    Jon Osterman Well-Known Member

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    I am sure that is nice for you, but not everyone has that luxury. It is normal for people to age, gain weight, grow unattractive and it is not uncommon for spouses to find each other sexually unattractive after a few years of marriage. Presumably though your husband says he "wouldn't want to be with" you if this became your case, he doesn't mean that he would want to divorce you? So what would you do? Would you give in to the temptation to sin, or remain chaste and sexless?
     
  20. Guy Incognito

    Guy Incognito Matt 6:25-34

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    Hopefully that won't be something my wife and I arrive at, but while not giving into temptation for porn or (especially) physical adultery, I would work on what I needed to to be attractive/desirable again for her. If that meant hitting the gym, hitting the books, going to a counsellor with her - so be it. I would not want it to be a way for the devil to tempt me, or send her the message that she isn't worth the effort (when she is and then some).
     
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